I had unprotected sex in september and last thursday I found

>>24539083
>>How would you react if someone you've been going out with said they have HIV?
Be glad I would never have unprotected sex with someone who doesn't get tested or inform me beforehand
>>How would you react if it was someone you just met?
That sucks man.
>>Would you ever date someone with HIV?
Probably not. I prefer to always think about the long term. And in the long run, I'd be alright with maybe a protected fling with someone with HIV, but a lasting relationship is a no-go cuz what if we decided we actually wanted the torture of children?

I had a condom break in my ass with a random hookup 3 weeks ago, going in to get tested next week. I have no reason to suspect he gave me anything...other than I met him through 4chan...

I would be pretty freaked out probably, it's not something I've ever had to deal with. I wouldn't be rude or anything but I would be very nervous about my own safety.
I'm not sure? Similarly to how I react when people say they have cancer? "That sucks bud"
Personally I don't think that I could. Not by any fault of the person with HIV. I have serious anxiety. If they ever got cut around me I'd freak and act like they were a leper and I don't want to do that to someone I like.

M here and if f had it and I liked her enough yeah. Suragate mother for kids. I'd her alive, HIV isn't as deadly. Sex would be fine too. Condoms these days are well made. Invest into better latex.

Dropped faster than red hot iron

>>24539083

>How would you react if someone you've been going out with said they have HIV?
I wouldn't react well. It would mean that either they'd been cheating on me, or had been irresponsible and hadn't bothered to get checked early enough.

>>How would you react if it was someone you just met?
I'd probably feel bad for them. It's not the same death sentence as it used to be, but it's still pretty bad.

>Would you ever date someone with HIV?
Nope. There would just be no long-term viability.

Additionally, since I work in medical research and we place a really heavy emphasis on blood-borne pathogen safety, it just wouldn't work. I'd have to wear two sets of gloves, spray them down with pure ethanol twice, and them throw them in a biohazard bag and place it in a biohazard box before sending them to be incinerated, as we do with our lentiviral samples. Not viable in a dating scenario.

I misread, if my f partner had HIV sexually. I don't know what I would do. It's situational.

Grats on getting pozzed, OP. Do you have plans to spread the bug only to chasers or to boring normies too?

Hiv research has really improved the quality of life for positive people.if you get on an retro viral regiment you'll have a long healthy life.eventually your viral load will go to undetectable.i knew a male who had a kid while positive and neither the mother nor the kid got it.theyve had unprotected sex for ten plus years and she's still clean

>>24539083
Storytime OP, as I've been in your shoes.

Years ago I was friends with benefits with a woman I met off of AdultFriendFinder. We went from FWB to dating after a few months until an argument happened one night and she went back onto AFF to have a one night stand.

The guy that she fucked had a strain of hepatitis and gave it to her. We made up, as I didn't know that she had cheated on me, and had sex. A month later, she reveals that she's a carrier and I need to get tested.

I've spent over $500 to have myself tested to make sure I wasn't infected. Luckily, I wasn't from her fuck up. It has been years ago and we obviously broke broke due to her cheating and other issues.

>>24539866
I'm not a bug chaser and I have no intentions of infecting anyone.

>>24540061
Yes I am aware of all that. The thing is people either think that the chance of getting it is higher than it is or they don't wanna deal with that chance no matter how low it is. I seriously don't blame them. I'll start medication in the not so distant future. Waiting for my appointment with a doctor which should be in about a month.

>>24539145
About the mention of children, as the other anon mentioned, you can have unprotected sex with an hiv positive person with a near zero chance of infection. The HIV positive person would be on meds which means they would have an undetectable amount of virus in their body and you would be taking another type of meds that basically makes it virtually impossible for the virus to spread in your system so even though you got infected it would be as if it never happened (even if you stopped taking the medication after a while because you literally wouldn't have any virus in your body).

Not saying to go date an HIV positive person, just educating.

have you not heard of PEP?

if you do something dumb, get to a clinic and ask for 'post exposure prophylaxis', a course of antiviral tablets

also, if you get HIV from a single exposure then you are very unlucky. it's actually incredibly difficult to catch HIV

>>24540119
Have you confronted the person that infected you?

I got herpes from the first and only guy i ever properly slept with. I never thought to mention it to him because I kind of thought we'd end up going out properly but a lot of shit happened. We've finally parted wys for the last tiem so I thought I'd bring it up in a way.. like, I feel tainted now and without him I'll never find anyone else

he totally turned it round and accused me of cheating or getting it from someone I didn't even have sex with (started crying before he'd even got in fully) but I know he gave it to me. He's just being a fucking child

anyway its really shit. I've tried those STD dating sites but they're just full of creepy old men like everything else.

but herpes is mostly harmless and isn't really something they test for so I could understand that from a partner.. HIV i would be most upset about. Being that irresponsible.

>>24539083
I learned that my bf was positive not long after we started going out. We'd had the usual one night stand but it grew into something more. I was puzzled that although we were very loving the sex was diminishing. Eventually, when I asked if he no longer fancied me, he told me that he was being positive. Avoiding sex was his way of protecting me. I wasn't worried; both people in a relationship have to take responsibility for their actions. I didn't ask and he didn't tell. But, I told him, it doesn't change anything, we just have to be careful. I didn't think too much about it, to be honest, until on my way to work one day and thinking about the future made me burst into tears.
Would I date someone if I knew that they were positive? Yes, I would.

>How would you react if someone you've been going out with said they have HIV?
I'd wonder what the fuck is wrong with them that they didn't tell me before we had been dating that long. I would expect to be told prior to the first date or meeting if the intention is to get to know one another for the purposes of dating. It is absolutely unacceptable to not be upfront to a romantic prospect about your HIV+ status.

That said, if someone has HIV I would never date them. I would appreciate them saving me the time by being upfront about it.

>How would you react if it was someone you just met?
I'd do my best not to physically interact with them or be near them at all after that meeting. I would be polite but they are not someone I would want to get to know. Outside of cases of rape, the only reason I can imagine one would contract HIV is due to irresponsibility. That is not the kind of person I want in my life at all.

>Would you ever date someone with HIV?
As stated earlier, no. Regardless of how safe sex can be, or how low the possibility is of contracting it, there is no point in exposing myself to it when I can date a clean partner.

>>24541160
I agree with everything said on this post 100%.

At this day and age, with so much information easily accessible about HIV and since you're not looking for kind words, having bareback sex is a sign of extreme stupidity.

>>24540763
Did you mean prep? It's a hastle to get it where I live. It's doable but I'm still studying so add to that the fact that I have no income of my own and that's why I wasn't taking it. I didn't know of the post exposure thing untill a month after I got infected so it was already too late.

>>24540768
they found out they had it a week before I did from what they told me.

>>24541030
I've had lip herpes since I was a kid and it was never a problem. I also never gave it to anyone. Don't know how different genital herpes is to be honest.

>>24541229
Yes it was obviously really stupid and I also knew it at the time.

>>24541160
>or be near then at all

I would say this is a bit extreme even before having hiv but I respect the feeling.

>>24541277
its essentially the same thing but in a different place but because its "sexual" it's heavily stigmatised.

>How would you react if someone you've been going out with said they have HIV?
i wouldn't OVERREACT but i'd be a bit more careful, assuming they told me before we get kinky.
>How would you react if it was someone you just met?
refer to above
>Would you ever date someone with HIV?
i don't see why not, so long as we are careful not to spread it around

>>24539083
>Having unprotected, expecting to be clean

>>24541297
weird that it is like that... you probably use your lips more than your penis.

>>24539083
>>How would you react if someone you've been going out with said they have HIV?
With disgust.
>>How would you react if it was someone you just met?
Why would you tell someone you just met that you have HIV. Keep that shit to yourself.
>>Would you ever date someone with HIV?
Depends how desperate i'm feeling.

>>24541706
>Why would you tell someone...
I meant that as in you meet someone in the context of dating and they tell you. I've noticed that it didn't go across like that.

When there are so many people without HIV who pose me so much less risk, I think I'd pass.

It's actually getting more acceptable nowadays for people with serious STIs. We live in an era where you shouldn't have to be responsible for consequences :)

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/09/07/hillary-clinton-just-slammed-the-stigma-surrounding-sexually-transmitted-infections/

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I was finally starting to get over a heartbreaking relationship, had my rebound, and started life in a new state. I was gaining a lot of independence and hustling hard, decided to donate plasma for some spare cash and thats when I found out.

"Have you, your partner, or anyone in your household donated Plasma?"
"Nah"
"Have you had any contact with needle drugs or homosexual intercourse?"
"Nope"
"Your western blot results came back, they indicate you're HIV positive."
"W-what?"
"You're HIV positive"

My ears were ringing. I replied "well I guess this is just how my life went" and walked home.

I lost my mind. Suicide was certain. The first person I wanted to run to was my ex and cry/scream. I called her but she didn't answer.

I took the time to gather myself. Do my google searches, and calm down.

I was contacted a week later by a public health nurse who referred me to a clinic for help. They took blood. A month later confirmed that I was positive. They started me on a drug called Genvoya that is part of antiretroviral therapy. My blood tests indicated I had caught it recently.

When I started the drugs I was incredibly suicidal. Eventually I came to realize that I'm the same person, but now I'm just alone. The health changes I've made are unparalleled and the way I see death is different.

I have now taken a more righteous path in life than seeking intimacy with another. I still get hit on and have urges, but I deny them. Many say you can live a normal life, but I can't trust anyone like that again. I've tried and don't want anyone to settle for me, and I don't want to be settled for. I may be cured some day, but that will likely remain. I focus on being a good person, rather than a good partner or a good lover. I don't have anyone to drain me of my resources or patience anymore either. A quick look at this thread will show you how people react to something I'm a victim of. Judgement and disgust.

It's reciprocated, love is neither of those characteristics.

http://www.catie.ca/en/pif/summer-2012/putting-number-it-risk-exposure-hiv

Bad luck, OP.

>>24542025
>A quick look at this thread will show you how people react to something I'm a victim of. Judgement and disgust.

Part of the reason I created this thread was because the I know and talked to were VERY friendly and supportive so I wanted to get a different type of feedback. Even this guy who I hoped to get a relationship with (but haven't since he's too hung up on his last relationship and said he doesn't want one right now) said he wasn't going to run away but I don't expect that to mean that he would have a relationship with me now. The other reactions were similar. So yeah, it's not all negative.

>>24542870
Yeah and it was a one time thing. But it was a decision I made so I'm not gonna justify it by blaming luck.

>>24542961
>>24539083
So it was anal?

>>24542961
Its far more accepted in gay communities than straight communities.

for one, gays are more prepared for this scenario since it's more prevelant.

for two, men are less superficial than women.

and three, gay men arent concerned about birthing a child.

>>24543363
Yes

>>24543516
>men are less superficial than women.

Assuming you mean gay men, no we're not really.

We all want an easy life and dealing with someone that is positive is arguably the most difficult thing you can deal with in terms of dating.
HIV/AIDS is still seen as the "fag disease", that's why the stigma for heterosexual people is stronger.

>>24543516
>caring about contracting HIV is superficial

So glad I'm not a faggot. Fags are more accepting because their promiscuity rates are through the roof and they know they're highly likely to contract some form of STD if not the big one. It has nothing to do with superficiality and everything to do with male homosexuality and risk behaviors.

>>24543694
No, I know people who unlike me are always careful and like I said in another reply they were very friendly and supportive. It's not about cutting other people slack because you are in risk of being in their shoes.

>>24539083
DUMBASS!
>How would you react if someone you've been going out with said they have HIV?
I'd kill them for not telling me earlier.
>How would you react if it was someone you just met?
I'd run away.
>Would you ever date someone with HIV?
Nope the fuck out.

29/M.

>>24543720
I never said it was. If the people you confided in are faggots then it's no wonder you received a positive response.

>>24543793
I just don't see how one thing would lead to the other.

>>24543793
You realise you contradict yourself in the exact same post, right?

>>24543833
I'm sorry you can't read.

>>24543859
>Fags are more accepting because their promiscuity rates are through the roof and they know they're highly likely to contract some form of STD
>I never said it was. If the people you confided in are faggots then it's no wonder you received a positive response.

???

>>24543859
On your first post:
>fags are more accepting because they know they're likely to contract some STD

Guy replies:
>It's not about cutting other people slack because you're in risk of being in their shoes.

You reply:
>I never said it was. If the people you confided in are faggots, then it's no wonder you received a positive response.

I'm sorry you're a retard that contradicts himself in the exact same fucking post.

>>24543800
>>24543870
he's redefining the word faggot to mean exactly what he wants so he can use it whenever he wants cause he's a faggot.

Ignore him.

>>24543870
I still didn't say it was about cutting slack. Not only am I sorry you can't read, I'm also sorry about your choice to be a second rate citizen. Good luck with your inevitable HIV.

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>>24543901
Get back to me retardo when you can hold a discussion without contradicting yourself in literally the second post kek.

>>24543926
>what is reading comprehension

Gays.

>>24543934
>what is forming a complete sentence without contradicting yourself

Retards.

>>24543934
Look dude we understood you don't like gays. It's the only thing you said that was clear. You don't need to repeat yourself every post. Move on.

>>24543939
>f5f5f5

>>24543944
I like gays because they willingly remove themselves from the gene pool actually. They even expedite it with their promiscuity by contracting terrible yet preventable diseases. I can't fault the gay community for doing society a favour and wasting away.

>>24543971
I told you that you don't have to repeat yourself but I guess you're just gonna keep doing it lol.

>>24543988
It's just his poor attempt at shifting the attention from his sheerly stupid, self-contracting posts to an edgy rant about faggots.

>>24539083
It bothers me more knowing the person was having unprotected sex with dirty strangers then knowing they have a disease. It's a huge turn off and acting like a victim because you chose to do nasty shit just makes it worse.

>>24544044
>acting like a victim because you chose to do nasty shit just makes it worse.
It's scary >>24542001

>>24544044
No one said anything about being a victim though...

>>24544044
This is a very ignorant stance and if you continue to hold it, you will soon test positive.

You can get HIV from people that tell you they love you, from people you trust, even from people you married.

Unprotected sex is all thats required for transmission. If you use a condom every time, good for you. But many people opt for barebacking on birth control (not gays ofc).

This includes the small risk of oral transmission as well. Are you wearing a condom for BJs anon?

>>24544060
Triggered now, thanks.

>>24544285
How is that ignorant? The delusion in this thread is real

>ask for paper documentation from a clinic showing partner's clean bill of health before engaging in any form of intercourse, be it oral, vaginal or anal
>never contract HIV or other pesky easily avoided diseases and viruses

I can just hear it now though

>buh buh I wanna have sex NOW!!! I don't want to wait a few weeks/months to learn about my partner and figure out whether they are both clean and trust worthy, I just wanna have sex!
>O-oh shit how did I get HIV? It's not my fault, I wasn't irresponsible and it's ignorant of you to have that opinion! I was tricked! It wasn't in my power at ALL!

Grow up. Enjoy your AIDS.

>>24544784
what he said is still true. even if you do all that you might still get cheated on and get some std like that.

>>24544797
You might get hit by a car the next time you cross the street too, that doesn't mean you shouldn't look both ways and wait for the light to signal it's fine to cross.

Doing your due diligence to protect your health reduces the chance of contracting a disease exponentially. The fact is that almost all of the time these diseases are contracted because people fail to protect themselves, not because they were cheated on. There is nothing about what >>24544044 said that was ignorant.

>>24544820
>that doesn't mean you shouldn't look both ways and wait for the light to signal it's fine to cross

I never said anything that went against this wtf

well i wasn't really arguing for that but since you insist I will say that he did sound a little ignorant.

>having unprotected sex with dirty strangers

It sounds like (to me) his picture of how these things happen is kind of distorted. In my case I met this guy a month before we had sex and he is a normal nice guy with a good job, nice apartment blah blah blah.

>>24544844
Yet knowing the disease rates within the gay demographic, you didn't bother to ask if he was clean? If you did, you didn't bother to ask for proof?

I'm sorry but you sound irresponsible. It is not unreasonable to view sexually irresponsible people as dirty. You engaged in unprotected sex with a dirty (infected) man. It could have been prevented if you asked for him to be tested prior to intercourse.

Having this basic expectation of all people who engage in sexual activity isn't ignorant. Nor is it ignorant to believe people who contract HIV through negligence are dirty, or engaged in something dirty (had sex with an infected person). I understand that you weren't aware, but that does not excuse the fact that you had bareback anal with a gay man without concrete proof that he was clean of diseases. Not taking responsibility for this makes you sound like you want to come off as a victim.

>>24544868
> Not taking responsibility for this makes you sound like you want to come off as a victim.

wtf
>it was a decision I made so I'm not gonna justify it by blaming luck.
>it was obviously really stupid and I also knew it at the time.

these are things I have said in this thread. I am very aware that I made the choice to not protect myself. I honestly don't know where you got that idea that I'm not taking responsability for my actions or that I'm trying to act like a victim.

>I'm sorry but you sound irresponsible
no shit sherlock

>you didn't bother to ask if he was clean
>It could have been prevented if you asked for him to be tested prior to intercourse

actually that wouldn't help in this case, he didn't know he was infected at the time and it was too early to be detected. I should have used a condom I know but I'm just replying to what you were saying.

>Nor is it ignorant to believe people who contract HIV through negligence are dirty

If that's your opinion

>>24544902
How would it not have helped?

>OP: "Hey man I'm really into you, before we do this when was the last time you were tested and when was the last time you had another partner?"
>HIV carrier: "I was tested 3 months ago and the papers said I'm clean, but I had two partners last month."
>OP: "Alright bro, I think it would be safer for us to wait then. Or, let's get a condom."

It would have helped. You were impatient. You made this thread asking for feedback so you don't need to be combative.

>>24544933
>so you don't need to be combative

It's hard not to be. You say one thing, I respond to it, and then you say something different and act like I was replying to that lmao.

You talked as if me asking him or him getting tested would have helped, I explained to you that THOSE 2 THINGS would not have helped. I'm not saying that I shouldn't have used a condom or waited for a valid test.

Plus if all you have for "feedback" is saying "you should have been more careful" or "you're not responsible" then thank you very much for stating the obvious lol.

People who are positive have a rough time, to put it mildly. Reading some of the comments in this thread it is no surprise that positive people are reluctant to be open about their status. You don't have to be negative to find the constant use of the word "dirty" as offensive. You don't have to have seen your friends die a terrible death to find the use of that word insulting. A little more compassion and understanding wouldn't go astray.

>>24544784
I'm not going to ask every person I have sex with for proof of a recently clean test. No one really would.

Still gonna play it safe with condoms, try not too risky, and not fucking gutter sluts.

>>24545235
>no one would really

Actually I do.

>>24545494
You and very few others, is that better retard?

No one is going to be in the bedroom before undressing and stop to ask for recent STI tests.

>>24545503
Because a reasonable person will ask long before they make it to the bedroom.

>>24545532
Most people aren't "reasonable"... which was my original point.

>>24545503
I'm Anon, MPH
So you really shouldn't be surprised.
Or maybe you missed that saga

>>24545543
And then situations like OP happens.

Hope others can take his case as a great example.

>>24544820
whats ignorant is that you view the people who succumb to HIV are dirty.

That is completely untrue. People of all backgrounds have HIV, and if you just expect dirty or promiscuous folks to have it... you'll have the same rude awakening I did.

I was sexually educated, I know what diseases look like, but HIV doesn't have a face, or a mark. I ask my partners, and make a calculated decision.

That someone you love could catch HIV and you would feel this way about them really cheapens the value of your love. Even before I had HIV, I knew I would never judge someone I love for their faults, including HIV.

The thing is, the fear shows how little you are educated. I've heard of people on ART barebacking and staying negative. The drugs kill the virus from your system, it is only when you stop taking them that it re-emerges.

With a negative partner on truvada, they will also build up an immunity to it. ART restructures the immune system. With a condom, and both on ART, it is practically impossible to get HIV.

>>24543694
It is. If thats where your love stops, then I hope the partner of your dreams isn't suffering from it.

to have and to hold,
from this day forward,
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
>in sickness and in health,
until death do us part.

might want to have the priest redact the greentext, make sure your partner knows not to get sick.

>>24545555
Just use a condom. Take prep if you want to be extra safe.