Is there anyone on this board that needs to vent, or someone

I'm afraid that I fucked up with the only girl that I have ever been interested in.

I'm tired as hell. I work really hard, but I'm still behind on my work. I just don't have enough energy, but I don't have time to rest. Also, my source of emotional stability is a female, which is a recipe for disaster.

The last three women I've been infatuated with have been straight.
On top of that, a close friend of mine recently told me he's always loved me and wants to date. Apparently being lesbian and not attracted to him isn't a good enough excuse, and he's pretty upset.
Feelsbadman.

The only reason I browse soc is so I can find someone similar to me near my area but I've rarely found anyone to begin with and when I do they're almost always turbo normies.

My girlfriend has been dealing with a low level health complaint for like the past three years now. It causes her regular pain and discomfort, docs aren't very helpful and that depresses her and makes her anxious that she'll be dealing with it forever.

At the beginning of summer she tried some strong antibiotics to try and fix it.
The antibiotics fucked with her tendons and joints REALLY fucking badly. She ended up in even more pain all over her body.
She spiraled pretty harshly with her mood. Depression, anxiety about her illness, constant rumination, bursting into tears.

Now she's recovering from the joint pain. She's been doing really well keeping exercised and managing her recovery from it. But the anxiety and depression doesn't seem to be going away. She can't sleep. She's hyper sensitive to disturbances and gets anxious about it which makes things even harder for her.
And her original health complaint is still there in the background. Making her even more unhappy.

This fucking sucks. There's not really anything I can do to help her, so I feel like a useless dick.
I wish I could wave my hand and make her better, but it's just not possible. I have stupid dreams about it.

I'm frustrated that no doctors or consultants cam figure out what the problem is that is causing her the pain that started this whole fucking saga.
She's now trying all sorts of diet changes and sticking with anything that correlates with an improvement in her pain.
No caffeine, no refined sugar, no wheat or gluten, no spicy food.
I'm not convinced any of it is actually helping. And it makes her sad that she can't eat the things she likes too.

I want somebody to hurry up and invent the scanner off star trek or some sci-fi bullshit like that. I don't want her to be sad and in pain anymore.

I have no friends and nothing in my life makes me happy. I'm not intellegent, I'm average looking, I'm not fit, and I've never gotten 1st place in my life. All I can think about is how worthless I am.