Anyone want to hear about the first time I saw death? I was 8

Yes pls share

>>24225757
>tasted copper
it's not death you've tasted

Since OP abandoned the thread, I'll post my own story.

This was winter break of my senior year of high school. My best friend had graduated six months earlier and gone off to college in another state. He's clinically depressed, so I was not surprised when he called me about how horribly he felt, despite finally being away from abusive parents.

I tried comforting him as best as I could, saying he was finally free and on the way to his dream of being a psychologist and helping people who had problems like him, that it would get better and he was just having trouble adapting to his new life. Little while later, he failed out of most of his classes and came back for the winter break. Of course his pathetic excuse for a father beat the shit out of him for "being a weak, worthless piece of shit and giving up". His mother cursed him out said he was a waste of money and the past two decades of her life.

Surprise, surprise, he got worse. Fuck me, I hate his parents so much. He'd have days when he simply couldn't get out of bed, and when he did, it was just to get cursed out again. One particular day, after finally resolving to do something, he stayed up researching cheap colleges away from our town, went to sleep late. Couldn't get up in the morning, so his dad pulled him out of his room and down the stairs by his hair. Not even a comment, according to him. Just walked in, grabbed him, pulled him down to the kitchen, and went to work.

This entire time, I'm there trying to comfort him, help him get on his feet and go back to school next semester. He wasn't allowed out of the house (even though he'd get smacked around every now and then for not getting a job), but thankfully they let me go see him. Let me tell you, anon. Few things make my blood boil more than having to be all polite and educated with those two piles of breathing excrement. Every fucking time, "Hello, Mr. H, thanks for having me over." "The food smells great, Mrs. H. No, thank you, I've already eaten."

>>24226858
(cont.)

"Please excuse me, do you mind if I use your bathroom? Or would you rather I shit in your mouth, you less-than-scum, pathetic, ignorant, cowards? The way you've been shitting in your own blood's mouth for as long as he can remember?" Well, I didn't say that last part, but you get what I'm saying.

Almost every day I'd go to his house, play some vidya, maybe watch a movie, talk... All the time about how shitty things are and how life is nothing but suffering and pain and why the hell go through with it at all, right? No, man, you have your dream, remember? Hell, I envy you for that. I've never had any aspirations in life of any kind. I'm basically a worm, dragging myself through life and doing as others tell me just to get through making as little noise as possible. But you... man, you're a fucking idol. You're struggling so much with your own shit and you already want to help others. I have deep respect for that. Don't listen to anyone who tells you you're worthless.

Of course, he eventually lost sight of his goals. Depression does that. It takes everything holding you up and burns it down, then pushed you down a cliff. When you grab for a branch on the way down, it doesn't cut off the branch. It cuts off your fingers. "I'm tired" he kept telling me. "Just exhausted. I haven't done shit today and I'm exhausted. I'm done".

I'll admit, I was pretty tired of this too. It was winter break in my last year of high school, for crying out loud. I don't want to talk to fucking edgar allan poe come back from the dead only even more depressed, go home and mope, then get up and do it all over again. So one day, I'm having dinner with my family, and I get a text from him. "Can you come over?"

I was pretty tired and didn't really want to, so I answered "Sorry, man, I'm having dinner with the family. I'll come as soon as I'm done, ok?"

Silence.

Of course I got worried. "Hey, you alright?" I texted. "I'll be there once we're done, I promise."

No answer.

>>24226919
At this point, I'm being yelled at for using my phone while we're eating, so I send him a final "I'll keep an eye on my phone. I'll be there soon, but let me know if anything comes up." Ten minutes later, he sends me something that sent chills rolling up and down my back like a tidal wave.

"The rain isn't cold anymore. It's peaceful. It'll be more peaceful soon. Thank you for everything."

Fuck it. I tell my parents sorry, but I need to go. I tell them it's an emergency and they can punish me later if they need, but I'm going. I have never driven so fucking fast in my life and I hope I never have to. It was usually about twenty minutes to his house, and I swear it must have taken about 5. Didn't even knock on the door. Just walked in, past his father sitting in the living room, and to the basement where his room was. He's laying in his bathroom, fucking Dust in the Wind playing from his phone, and an open bottle of pain pills in his hand. It's nearly empty, but he's awkwardly clawing inside and popping them like m&m's.

Now, I'm not a spiritual person. 100% atheist. Don't believe in spirits, mediums, palm readings, horoscopes, or homeotherapy. None of that bullshit. Yet I swear to this day there was something about the air in that bathroom. It wasn't darker, and I can't say it was heavier or colder or anything. More like it was... thick. Like walking through waist-deep mud. Even if you get through it, you're bound to lose something in it. Entering was like pushing into a mound of snow. As if there was a resistance, a force pushing you out, telling you to leave thing be. Move on. You'll be more sane that way. But I went in.

He was like a doll. Have you ever slept on your arm, and woken up to find it so numb that it feels like it belongs to somebody else, but it's still attached to your body? Like that, only all of him. I kicked the bottle away, smacked the ones in his hand onto the ground, and bent him over the toilet.

File: cryingdoggo.png (812KB, 794x794px) Image search: [Google]

812KB, 794x794px

>>24225757
>copper in the air
A year ago I was randomly walking and my nose suddenly filled up with the stench of coppery blood and it came with this feeling of dread and anxiety, it went on for a good 5 minutes then it just went away and I was feeling normal again, it was so weird... the fuck's the deal with copper senpai

I shoved my fingers down his throat as far as they would go. He gagged, but wouldn't throw up. Just sort of felt his body twitch. I kept swirling my hand around his mouth, trying to get something out, anything, but it wouldn't come out. At this point, his mother came down, yelling about some nonsense that I didn't even pay attention to. Shut her right the fuck up to see what was going on, though. I just yelled at her, "Call an ambulance!"

She hesitated, then scowled and started spouting about how dare I get in her house without permission. "I SAID CALL A FUCKING AMBULANCE NOW"

I don't know if it was because she'd never heard me raise my voice before, let alone cuss, but for once she shut her cunt mouth and obeyed. The rest is kind of a blur. I kept shoving my hand down his throat, over an over until he finally hurled. I kept going and he vomited again and again. Eventually he told me to stop pushed himself off the toilet and passed out completely. The emt found me in the bathroom with him in my arms, and took him away. I was kicked out of his house and drove home, went to bed.

Woke up the next day to my mom yelling at me to get out of bed. I was in a daze, kind of unsure of what year it was, of where I was. I looked at my watch, realized it was past noon and immediately recalled the previous night. In a second, my phone was out and I was calling him. No answer. His parents. No answer. His house, no answer either. I had to actually go to the hospital to find out what had happened.

He had survived. I couldn't see him. I insisted, insisted again, offered to bribe the nurse, and finally begged to at least let me talk to him for a few minutes. She gave in, said he wasn't actually in the hospital anymore. He was taken to an out of state psych ward for treatment. Said it would be downright illegal to actually tell me which.

His parents must have gone somewhere else as well because their house was empty and they wouldn't answer my calls.

A couple months went by.

>>24227043
I'm reading even though this is most likely BS. Pls finish

>>24227043
I'm still a wreck at this point, but I'm functional. I get a text halfway through class. It's from him.

"Hey! Sorry about the silence. My parents took me to a hospital so I could get better, but I'm back! When can we meet up?" Now, I was raised to never ever miss class, skip out on track team, sneak out at night, none of that. The usual boring, mentally beat down teenager shit. But that day I said fuck it. Told the teacher I wasn't feeling well (turns out, bags under bloodshot eyes from not sleeping for days at a time help drive this point. Who would have thought?), and got straight out of school. Guard at the gate yelled at me, but fuck's sakes did I run. I got home, took the car and went to his house. He was also a mess. Looked more tired than I felt, even worse than the last time I'd seen him, only with a light smile and a bruise on his cheek. We hung out all day that day. He told me stories about the people at the hospital. Depressed teens, army vets with ptsd, the great nurses, the bitch nurses, the hot nurses... He described it as if it were a movie. We played videogames and made jokes and for the first time in an eternity I heard him laugh. Then I went home, gave him a hug, told him how incredible it was to see him.

I wish I could say something in the way he said goodbye raised a red flag. I wish I could say I knew him so well I knew something was up from the way the hug lasted a bit too long. His smile a tad too sad. He hanged himself that night. I didn't find out for what was the longest week of my life. A week of no answer from his phone, from his parents, from knocks on the door of his house. It took another two weeks of going to his father's office to find out where he was buried. When I visited, I collapsed.

>>24227141
There was a note that said THANKS FOR BEING THE BEST FRIEND EVER STEVE, BUT IM IN A BETTER PLACE NOW

OR IT WAS ENGRAVED ON THE TOMBSTONE

THE END

>>24227157
You do know there are post IDs, right?

>>24227141
Tell me these parents' addresses. I would like to give them a surprise.

>>24227141
My knees just couldn't hold my weight. I cried and cried like a bitch and sat there in the dirt for what felt like an eternity. His tombstone is only a bit bigger than a kleenex box and has no inscription. Just his name, year of birth, and year of death. That's all that's left of him. This wonderful, kind, generous human with more than his share of shit to deal with, my best friend who changed my life and who I loved like I have never loved anyone in my life and probably never will, reduced to a name carved into a rock. That, to me, is seeing death. It's seeing how utterly pointless it all is, how easily we and everything we do is reduced to dust. Someone with so much potential for good is snuffed out with the same effort it takes to snuff out a candle. We are no match for the utter cruelty of the world. We come here to die and then we are nothing, if we ever were something. I know he was. But what does it matter now.

>>24227166
Fuck no, anon. If anyone gets to those motherfuckers it's going to be me. Every fucking day and night I think about how to get back at them. I'm going to sound edgy as fuck but I want nothing more in the world than to skin them alive and dunk them in salt. I want to hear their screams and I want to hear them beg for death as they made their only fucking son, their blood, their family, wish for his. Fuck Im having trouble writing I'm trembling so much.

but thanks for the sentiment

>>24227180
You know how you make it worth something? You make the people who drove him to it suffer beyond their wildest imaginations. And anyways I believe in death and rebirth. The fact that you exist proves that you will exist again. That which is "you" will not cease to exist permanently. That is physically impossible, really. This universe happened, you happened, when you die you will perceive nothing. Eternities can pass by and you would be none the wiser. It's literally exactly like a dreamless sleep. At some point, the exact same thing that would be "you" must be recreated, and you will simply wake up, as if nothing ever happened.

>>24227204
I wish I could believe there's more to this life, anon. And I do want to drive them to suffer, but the only thing I can do is hurt them physically.

Suppose I do. Then what? They're hurting and crippled (I wouldn't kill them. That's too good for them), and I'm now a criminal. Do I kill myself? I want to do it anyway, so why not? Except now I've caused pain to my family and most importantly to my little sister who is a wonderful human being and I have such high hopes for.

So maybe I run away? To another country perhaps? That's practically the same as suicide, except I have to keep living.

Final option is to go to prison, serve time. My dad has said before, that if I ever do anything to go to jail he would never forgive me or himself, because it would mean he's failed as a father. Besides, I'd get swallowed alive in prison. I don't live in the US. Prisons here are practically a death sentence to anyone who isn't a career criminal.

I can't do that, anon. I wish I could. I've gone over this a million times and it just doesn't work out.

>>24227246
I wouldn't recommend physical harm. Hurting someone's mind is just as painful though. I'm sure you understand that, it being the cause of your friend's death. Letting them know that they killed their own son will deeply disturb them, but don't harass them. Whenever you see them, just let them know, ever so gently, that you know what they did and that they should be absolutely terrified if they believe in god or hell.

>>24227258
Oh, they do. They're deeply religious. I don't see them often, thankfully. But I'll keep that in mind. I'm sure that they don't think they did the wrong thing, though...

It's getting late, so I'm going to go to bed. Have a good night, /soc/.

>>24227279
Rest well, Anon.

>>24226858
Is he flabby? Was he before being depressed?