have any you anons been molested/sex assaulted, or raped? >how

>>24108792
bump

>how did you feel during?
shitty
>how did you feel after?
shitty
>how do you feel now?
shitty

>>24109068
you don't feel less shitty over time?

I (F) was molested by my play cousin. We watched a movie with a really risqué sex scene, and she kinda used me as practice or something... kissing, touching, etc.
>how did you feel during?
Well, I was a naive kid who was easily influenced by everything around me, so I kinda just went along with it because "an older family member asked me to" and I didn't want to disappoint her. I didn't feel too bad during it (it was somewhat pleasant, actually), but I couldn't shake the feeling that it was inappropriate to be doing these things.
>how did you feel after?
I thought nothing of it afterwards. I didn't even realize I was molested until I became an adult.
>how do you feel now?
I felt stupid for letting myself be touched like that... then again, I was only a kid and didn't know better.I just feel like that experience may have fucked me up somehow.

>>24109064
bump

>>24110993
(M) same thing happened to me with a slightly older female cousin. She was kinda... sexually aggresive with me in a playful way. Didn't really know what was happening but it felt kinda good so I went with it.

I remember feeling guilty afterward. I felt I had done something wrong and I didn't tell anyone.

Right now it's pretty fucking weird, but that's about the only way I can describe the feeling.

>how did you feel during?
vague? i went along with it because i was a kid and csa taught me that to get love and attention i had to put out.
>how did you feel after?
i cried. then forgot about it and let it happen again and again, then cried. let the cycle continue.
>how do you feel now?
trauma alert.

>>24111131
bump

>>24108792
>how did you feel during?
Simultaneous fight and flight response

>how did you feel after?
Shocked. Disbelief. Untrusting.
Like I wasn't alive

>how do you feel now?
Haha well over ten years later I still cannot be in a small space with any guy, which makes dating at 25 nonexistent. I'm damaged goods and I fear I will never be good enough for someone.

>>24110993
>>24112086
that happened to me (F) except with an older female friend. I felt guilty and bad after but i kind of forgot about that time for awhile, and only remembered it again as a teen.

I don't feel like it necessarily fucked me up but it definitely makes me feel weird and kind of ashamed

>>24112432
you freeze up ?

>how did you feel during?
stared at the ground, tried to pretend it wasn't happening (protip: it didn't work)
>how did you feel after?
guilty, like it was my fault. terrified about what he'd do to me if i told or ran from him. eventually managed to get away from him permanently after years of stalking, but still had nightmares, shutdowns, wouldn't go outside alone on fear he might be there, etc.
>how do you feel now?
i no longer fit the definition of PTSD after 5 years of therapy. nightmares mostly gone, can go most places, alone, etc. still paranoid as hell (though other things influenced this as well) and have various other mental health issues, but things are much better than they were.

>>24109068
alternately: this

>how did you feel during?
Terrified. Dude pushed me down in a public shower setting and tried forcing his dick in my mouth. I was only 11 idk how old he was but he was older and much bigger. Others saw what was happening and just laughed and called me a faggot. I ran out in the middle of the night and got lost without a flashlight in a large campsite.

>how did you feel after?
Terrible. I couldn't say a word about it until after the trip ended and I went to family and friends about it. They all thought I was lying or making too big a deal out of it. Only misconception that I had was that I told everyone that I was raped when in reality it was sexual assault. But still to see his smug ass get away without anyone even believing that it happened when there were 20+ witnesses was beyond fucked up.

>how do you feel now?
Bitter. I never quite forgave my family but I still never bring it up. They at least got me away from the group that witnessed the event and I never saw or heard from any of them again. I'm assuming the perp is in jail or dead because he was on his way to being a jail bitch anyways. I have brought it up with more recent friends and they at least believe me but can't conceive that friends and even family wouldn't believe that something like that would happen.

All in all, fuck you Vance you piece of shit, rot in hell.

Had a girl I knew grabed my dick while I was working in a hastings. She was my boss. She was really ugly and I didn't like her.

I basically kept saying stop stop stop or I'll yell. She stopped but I got fired soon after. I don't think I could prove it so I felt really shitty afterwards. Still do.

>>24114206
bump

>>24113386
damn,fuck up no one help

>>24108792
Those statistics are so wrong 1 in 5 women? literally higher than every other crime then

have any you anons been molested/sex assaulted, or raped?
Ex GF held me a knife to my throat and raped me
>how did you feel during?
Terrified
>how did you feel after?
Violated
>how do you feel now?
Still trying to get over it after being told I wasn't raped and that I probably liked it because I'm male.

>>24108792
>how did you feel during?
i was thinking like robot, i sreamed a lot and fight
>how did you feel after?
like a piece of shit. I blame myself and think that i'm dirty and ugly. like i'm the worst sort of woman
>how do you feel now?
it was 10 years ago. i don't trust to guys and hate myself, i think that i'm to ugly to be loved by someone interesting

>>24114206
>>24115760
>>24117481
b
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>>24117877
ok thread is dead

Older cousin, me young. Around the time Nsync's album Pop came out. I was naive, she was 13 I was 7. I quoted a lot of shit back then. Heard the song I like big butts. Said the word prostitute. She told me it was a bad word and if I didn't do what she said she'd tell my aunt. (My aunt is HELLA religious. I got in trouble for saying heck) I don't remember if I ever got hard, but the experience was just an experience. She laid down on the floor and had me do it. I don't remember any sensation. This went on for a while, different positions were tried, she said she felt "good" so I thought I was doing something right. Eventually she told me she was done and was sore. I remember going to her room to put our clothes back on and she was wiping her vagina saying to look how red it was...I thought I was over it. But this month, I saw her again and...I feel like I deserve an explanation. I never got one and what sucks the most, is my significant others name is the same as my cousins.

>>24119029
do you call her by her name,or use a nickname to feel better

>>24120564
I call her by her name. Not an issue. Like I said all i want is an explanation

>>24121989
Holy fuck your cousin lena dunham you.

>>24122151
I looked it up and I still don't get the connection

>>24122419
Lena Dunham, molested, raped, and put rocks in her younger sisters vagina and them claim it as her experimenting and being curious of the female body.

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>>24122151

>>24122432
Then* I really fucking hate androids autocorrect.

>how did you feel during?
unreal like it wasn't happening to me but in some movie and i was the star
>how did you feel after?
really dirty showered immediately and cried
>how do you feel now?
really good i just surpress it and it works

>>24122675
with no therapy?

>>24113383
how stare at ground? Doggy style? Was it like hold-you-down rape or what? Family member?

>>24116588
kek
>>24119029
kids playin' is all, i would guess

>>24112432 Real sorry to hear that. Maybe with therapy and finding the right guy who doesn't mind a lot of online first something could happen. Please hold out for hope.

>>24116582 Pretty much. Happens ALLLL the time man.
>>24116588
Did you get your fedora back at least?

>>24113383
We were standing up, pushed against a tree. I think he was trying to kiss me, but I was looking straight down so he didn't bother since his hands were otherwise occupied.

I went to my ex's house who I've fucked quite a bit
I told him the day before I didn't want to do anything
I told him day of that I was on my period
Laid in his bed (only piece of furniture in his room) to watch a movie with him
He starts cuddling it's whatever
He rests his head p close to my chest I try not to think much of it cause he gets real touchy when he's about to fall asleep and falls asleep during movies all the time
First it's the back of his hand resting against my boob
Then he starts rubbing his hand against it
I asked him what's he doing and he said nothing so I let it go
He moves that hand so the palm is now on my chest and he starts just groping me
I move out from under him
Cry
Argue
Leave
He hits me up two weeks later with a half ass apology I forgave him
Now he doesn't talk to me
Just stalks my tumblr account (that I've changed once already so he can't find me) and then he'll send me a text the next morning talking about what I've posted
>during?
Numb, helpless, worthless
Like a little girl again that has no authority and can't tell people no
>after
I cry about it sometimes cause I really trusted him oh well lesson learned
>now?
Fucked up

>>24123114
Also if anyone has any keen advice on why he acts like this that'd be great
3rd party views on situations like this are really enlightening
I've only told one person I know irl about this

>>24123135 He should have asked for oral or a handjob. Would that have worked? Was that on the table at all? He's acting weird because he doesn't think he's done anything wrong and is likely confused.

>>24123185
Yeah like if he asked I probably would have done it in hyper sexual 24/7 so it doesn't take much convincing but like
When I explicitly say I don't want to do anything that doesn't mean please grope me in the weirdest way yk

>>24123185
I know he knows he shouldn't have done that and it was wrong so he wasn't confused everything was well explained before hand lol

>>24123205
Has this been a problem in the past? How long were you two dating?

>>24123205 OIC. Clear violation of trust. How old is he?

>>24123260
Literally never happened before
Like when I first lost my making out/oral virginity to him he asked like 3 times if it's ok
At that time we had dated a total of 6ish months in the past
I had known him for a year at that point

>>24123272
22 at the time 23 now

>>24123276
Okay, but he is typically handsy...correct? Like was this tel he one time you said no touching?

>>24123289
Not really
Yes literally the only time I said I didn't want to
And like
I was fully clothed
I wasn't grinding against him I was laying on my back
Didn't say anything sexual

>>24123303
When you said no, did he continue? Like what was the convo after?

>>24123319
I never said no? He did it and I moved away

>>24123319
I can't remember much of the convo afterwards he apologized right away but he definitely didn't mean it I cried and tried to leave but he passively grabbed my hips (not in a sexaul way at least that's how I took it) and then I was back laying in bed with him and I asked him what did he want from me (cause clearly we can't be friends if he wants to just fuck all the time) and whatever he just said he was into me and didn't want to date me and I left

>>24123328
Okay so you moved away and then what? Was nothing said? You said you argued...what were the things said?

>>24123343
Okay then if he just wants to fuck and ur not into that then he ain't worth your time. I've been with my significant other for 5 years now. I get a Lil too handsy sometimes and we fight but then I apologize or she apologizes (depending on how low of a blow the other hit) and we make up. We learn to compromise and communicate. I'm no longer as handsy as I used to be and she isn't as condescending as she used to be. We grow and roll with the punches. If he doesn't want to do that with you, then let him go. Go and live your lifen

>>24124261
b
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p

>>24124631
b u m p

>>24125739
p m u b

>>24108792
>18.6%
Citation needed? Title is not enough, no cited study or statistic. Not supported.

F here.. Was used sexually by a babysitter /caregiver from the age of 5 until maybe 8 when we moved out of state. She was sexually mature, a young teenager. She would say we were playing games. She rarely touched me so much as used me to cum. I wasn't penetrated or masturbated, it was about her pleasure and climax. The only thing I really hated and complained about was her hair. Public hair on my face and in my throat it hurt my skin. But then she'd shave and make me watch her shave.. And ugh the stubble.
It didn't make me feel terrible as it was happening, just confused as I grew up and learned more about sex.. A lot of negative things sort of happened afterwards as a domino effect. Signs of my knowledge popped up.. Other people were blamed for sexually assaulting me.. Had to go to dreadful meetings where people asked me if "daddy touched me". Never said a damn thing. Never admitted anything. The girl is still a friend of my family. I just avoid it entirely.

>during
There was a lot of pain. The first guy forced himself in dry and contrary to stupid conservative logic, my body didn't prepare or defend and he rubbed me raw causing sores. Peeing was especially painful as it would seep into the open sores. The second time, the guy couldn't go in dry so he held me down with one arm against my chest and worked his saliva into it, we weren't alone at his place so I threatened to scream and he immediately pulled out. Firm no's were said both times but I was held down
>after
Betrayed both times. One was my best friend's cousin, the other a mutual friend of a good friend. I couldn't wrap my head around these sorts of people raping me.
>now
I don't let myself get cornered into being alone, that is for sure. I'm pretty indifferent otherwise. I tested negative for every STD, so no permanent damage done.

>>24127314
how old was the sitter ?

Female
I was molested by my uncle when i was 5, and by another uncle when i was 11
>how did you feel during?
i was really young, i don't remember much. It comes back to me one bit at a time. But i remember feeling really uncomfortable. Something was terribly wrong
>how did you feel after?
my mom walked in and raged at my uncle. I remember thinking i was in trouble. I didn't like confrontation when i was younger. Afterwards my mom told me repeadivly that i didn't do anything wrong and that it wasn't my fault. But i remember feeling awful, like I should be in trouble. Like i should have been punished. I was too young to really comprehend what really happened.
>how do you feel now?
I was 16 when the flashbacks started. It wasn't pretty at first. I had a lot of soul searching to do. It was hard to deal with at first. But I accepted it. Ive seen peoples lives be destroyed because of being molested as a kid.. and i was determined not to let it affect me in that way. I know it happened, theres nothing i can do to change the past. Yeah, what happened sucks major balls, but thats okay. I carry on.

>>24127924
She was only 12 or 13 when it started. Or so I imagine .. She was in high school by the time I was moved away

>during
I enjoyed it actually. Would literally ask for it after a while.
>after
Well we got caught once, which ended it. I was just confused because I didn't see anything wrong with it.
>now
It hasn't really effected me much in terms of trauma. If anything, it probably shaped me into a bisexual.

>>24123374
>>24123272
This felt p therapeutic y'all thank you

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Kek, I literally raped a girl in high school and feel no regret at all for my actions. She deserved it, I didn't face that much legal trouble, and overall it was pretty okay and self defining.

>>24128090
I hope this is only bait

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>>24128402
you know it is

>>24128029
Dude, why didn't you say who it really was?

i haven't but i have a story close to that
>be me
>in a very serious distance relationship
>driving home from uni
>saw a girl i know in bus stop
>what the hell let me give her a ride home
>small talks
>and then she suddenly acting weird and flirting
>puts her hand on mine and talking about going back to my place
>wtf
>i stopped the car and said get out
>"anon you cant leave in middle of the road"
>get out or tomorrow I'll tell everyone in uni you raped me
>she looked at me then went out of the car

>>24128402
>>24128586
It isn't bait at all. I'll post the details of it before I go to bed shortly, perhaps.

>>24128716
>wtf

What the fuck indeed. Am I missing something or are you just an enormous piece of shit?

You kicked a girl out of your car just for coming on to you, without even asking her to stop, and threatened to lie about rape when she wondered why the person giving her a ride home reacts to flirting by kicking her out in the middle of the road.

My older brother raped and beat me on the regular..

Why else would I gravitate to this site?

>>24128667
I don't know.. It still bothers me. My dad died recently and I never resolved it while he was alive. I guess because of the effect it had on me sexually as I matured.. I felt like I was.. A like part of it rather than a victim? It made me more sexually curious and perverse than others. I had people telling me as a young child that my dad was molesting and raping me- and I knew that was bullshit.. But it was convincing, like they were planting doubts about him in my mind. Making me question hugs.. Cuddles.. These people ask you if people touched you.. Hurt you, made you feel "funny", and I just didn't put it together. It just never clicked until later that it was because of what she did to me that it all happened. By then it felt too late?

>>24128905
like i said serious relationship anything can fuck up distance relationships.
and just being nice to someone doesn't mean i want something in return

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>>24128877
>>24128090

Here are the details. I am about to justify raping someone so I expect they are pretty important.

It was this girl in my high school. I've always been a weirdo at a first impression, but I was starting to develop a life for myself and get social contacts for the first time in my life. She literally destroyed my entire life and everything good in it, at the time. She aggressively went about ruining my reputation, because of some crazy convoluted and malicious reasons. She even took out other numbers, faked long conversations between us that made me look terrible, and spread them around. She had everything socially and I had nothing and couldn't convince anyone of anything, so basically my new chance to find happiness and acceptance in high school was totally taken away by her. I suffered nothing but rejection and ridicule every single day, she even made fun of me in the classroom with her friends. She even tried to get a black guy to beat me up, I am not joking with you, by hitting him with a pencil and telling him I threw it. He almost did, and he still hates me. Part of why she did this is because she flirted with me as a joke when she had a boyfriend, and wanted to make sure everyone thought it was just me being aggressive and that she never did anything inappropriate. Of course, she was only leading me on in that brief moment for her own interests. Even my own parents didn't believe me when I said what was going on because they thought I was a disturbed child and a liar. I had problems, but I was a good person and wasn't lying. She took away years of my happiness. My car also happened to get damaged at the time spitefully, with her having to be the person or the reason why this happened. Do I even need to go on? She got a bully to punch me a few times also, but I was never beaten up for an extended time. I was even in love with someone and they didn't let me date them because they were so scared by what they had heard about me from her.

>>24129048

Of course it doesn't mean you want something in return. But you didn't even ask her to stop first, did she even know you were in a relationship? You're coming across here as the crazy awful one.

>>24129117
I was a good person

Says the unrepentant rapist.

Like... I'm sorry she made your life a living hell anon, but that doesn't justify raping her...

>>24129117

I really never thought I'd ask this question in my life. But how'd you go about raping her? How'd someone like her alone in a room with nobody to disturb you?

>>24129117
Continued.

So I eventually found myself alone with her, in an empty band room, in an empty band building outside of the main building by (what I'm pretty sure was) circumstance.

I came in timidly, or rather quietly, to get what I needed and leave, but she gave me this really obvious condescending noise and expression instead of ignoring me as well, like she was mocking me having already ruined my whole life.

I started to talk to her, but I almost couldn't because I would just start choking up and crying when I tried to and I couldn't get the words out. I still instinctively thought being nice was the thing to do, as I had never done anything else successfully in all my years. Of course, I was furious. She told me something like "I just don't like the person you are" as though it justified her eliminating all happiness from my life.

I shoved her very violently before I really realized what I had done, violently enough that it would have been a punch if I had my hand closed. I was crying, and I knew that this was it, I've now physically harmed her, my life can't be recovered because of this person anymore. I can't prove the times she got someone to harm me.

So I sort of stopped caring. I had nothing to live for at all. Her expression was then reversed to absolute wide-eyed shock and fear instantly, and I realized the situation. She's small even for a girl. I'm 6'6" and come from a line of able bodied working men, I'm not pencil thin.

She probably thought I was going to murder her, which I easily could have. The next parts are pretty obvious I guess. She's cute, she has a big butt, I actually think she's one of the most attractive people I've ever seen. She had taken everything from me. I got closer and closer to her until I realized what I was about to do, and I just spent an extended time raping her and doing everything I ever thought about doing with a girl, which is how I lost my virginity in fact. I'll continue in a moment.

>>24129164
She was actually wet, but she was clearly in trembling mortal terror, she wasn't enjoying it on a mental level. I mean, I was far past the mindset that it takes for some people to kill someone and that was obvious.

And you know what? Best sex I've ever had in my life. I'll be vulgar. Amazing, shapely pale ass, the cutest panties in the world. Perfect breasts, clear skin. Teen pussy in its prime like you wouldn't believe, the kind that grips like a vice and is just burning hot. The doggystyle, bending her over right then and there, my waist colliding with her butt, I can't even describe it. I put my hands on her neck a lot, and I could have strangled her easily at any time. I came inside, no condom, no cares. It felt so good I lost balance briefly, I couldn't see straight.

I still feel the feeling I had after that. Like being reborn. It feels so good. I walked out and just walked straight off school grounds to a pizza place across the street for some food. I loved it, said hello to a teacher on break when he happened in to pick up an order. Enjoyed my day just walking outside and later strolled back on school grounds at the end of the day, hopped on my usual bus and rode home. Some girls gave me flak for sitting near them but I just did not give a fuck.

I've rode that feeling to success to this day. She deserved it and I'd do it again.

>>24129135
>an entire life of happiness stolen and multiple instances of physical harm doesn't justify it
I don't give a fuck about my mortal enemies that will take my own life and prosperity away. I don't know why you do.

>>24129187
you should rape her again,she did like it

>>24129400
It actually was the start of her own life spinning out of control and going downhill. She asked someone years later, funny enough, to tell me that she was sorry for what she did to me in high school.

>>24129411
because she wanted to be raped again,why didn't you destroy her pussy again you coward,you should have made her your sex slave,put your foot in her mouth

>>24110048
no

im able to forget sometimes, but thats about it

>>24123114
let me get this str8.... he rubbed your boob?

I'm really touchy I like to kiss and cuddle and bite girls they are like little toys

>>24129846
find a different thread to shitpost in

>>24122996
Wow, someone reveals they were raped and you're response is to ask if they got a hat back.

Go the fuck back to tumblr.

>>24108792
>perpetuating the flawed 1 in 5 study
Over exaggerating rape statistics does not help.
The CDC study comes to the conclusion that drunk sex = rape

>>24129876
Those numbers also are devoid of Male on Male, Female on Female, Female on Male rape numbers as it's perpetuating that "Men can only Rape women" stereotype.

..

>>24129187
>>24129411
so what exactly happened afterwards? How did she behave around you? Did she keep tormenting you? How did her life go downhill?

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by my stepsister, as a kid.
>how did you feel during
a combination of confused, sad, scared and excited; mostly excited because i was learning how much i actually liked girls (i'm a girl) and so it was sort of a revelation of sorts
>how did you feel after
absolutely terrible but for two reasons:
1. i couldn't believe someone would do that sort of thing to someone else
2. i missed the attention; i was the middle child, and i was never really given attention, especially loving attention not that that constitutes "love" by any means, but yeah
>how do you feel now
eh, more or less accepted it happened. hasn't made me weird about sex, i still love sex. still...i do get really upset at times that she did it.

>>24129818
He groped me which is sexual assault

>>24108792
>made to penetrate

fuck the CDC

rape is rape.

>how did you feel during?
Went on for several years, don't remember many details, mostly remember being an angry kid who had constant nightmares.
>how did you feel after?
Like killing them.
>how do you feel now?
Incapable of intimate relationships or orgasms with partners. Huge trust issues. Hyper-sexual with reasonably disgusting taste.

>>24130473
Legal issues, mostly handled by my parents and grandparents. Lots of family trouble. I didn't go to that school anymore. But, I also really started asserting myself and working for my goals in life. These days my family still doesn't like me, but I don't care. I'm /fit/, I'm /fa/, I'm making money, I'm tall, and I just don't have fear for anything in life.

I didn't have much direct contact with her after that, though I've had a little now, and I heard a lot through indirect sources. Apparently she cut all her hair off, developed extreme depression and self hatred, got tattoos, lost all her friends for different reasons, etc.

She's superficially nicer as a person now I believe, and she moved to another town.

She told me that she always sort of wanted me for herself, and that she took out a lot of things on me and people like me at the time, but me especially.

I might actually meet up with her at some point, maybe.

>>24130466
.

>>24130993
lol
i try to be kind and understanding, but thats pretty fucking infuriating, as someone who has actually been sexually assaulted
your boyfriend touching a titty, especially when you didnt even say "no", is not assault
i rly hope ur troll cuz u got my fucking goat bitch

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>during
Well I mean I thought it was a game at the time. So I didn't really know I was sucking cock until I got a bit older. I didn't associate it with sexually. I never realized I just thought it was a thing kids did.

>after
Like shit. I wish I could have gotten the guy to move away (he's a good five years older than me and I was in elementary school) I remember he got away with it and to be fair he probably should have because I was naive and he really didn't make me do anything. I think what makes me bitter is just that he lived across the street from me my whole life.

Apparently he's mentally retarded. So that's a thing I guess. Still, it's a thing that happened all the time even if I rarely remember it.

>now
Fuck i wish a guy would force himself on me and make me suck his cock until Cumming down my throat. I want to be treated really really rough yet tenderly even though I don't think I'm gay.

I don't know if it's that, porn, or a combo of both. Sometimes I think back upon it in a sick way and wish things would have gotten sexual rather than naive fun.

Fuck.

>>24131597
.b.u.m.p.

>>24132303
Don't know how old you are but you might be bi.

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bump

During.
Gf put a knife to my neck and her friends took turns raping me, they would always blow me and jack me off to get me hard again. Stuck fingers and tounges in my ass. Kept riding my face and dick. Said they would tell everyone I raped them.
After.

I felt used and abused because I just moved to that town to run away from a bad rep I had where I raped a girl who said yes when we were both drunk but then she said in the morning that she regretted it cuz my dick is small and I took advantage of her and she won in court even though she admitted it but we were both drunk.

Now.

Idek anymore. Im trying to find someone on craigslist to pos me up so I can die.

>>24131356
and to think you could have had that PTP all to yourself if you were hers

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Didn't know better, it felt kind of good

Fucked me up, but now I can't get enough sex and I use it in lieu of proper relationships with people.

>Yfw I'm a straight male

>>24108792

>how did you feel during?
confused
>how did you feel after?
confused
>how do you feel now?
laugh at it and feel lucky cause what I got was a million times lighter than what other kids got. I was kissed by a stranger. I feel so stupid cause while its still molestation there are people out there who wish to god they were just kissed

Strangely enough it has affected my confidence. I told my mother about it and now I feel way more open and confident

b

>>24136623
u

>>24133505
22.

Well regardless I'm not interested in a relationship with a guy. So I'm not that far gone

>>24137142
m

>>24134747
>kissed by a stranger
>its still molestation
>>>feminist detected

Much lighter than many of the other stories in here, but technically still sexual assault.

>cousin's buck's night
>they hired a couple of topless waitresses, who ended up spending most of the night naked, to serve drinks
>pretty shy, so I'm half avoiding the girls
>already friends with my cousin's brother-in-law to be, so I'm standing around talking with him and a couple of his friends
>they decide to go talk to/fawn over one of the girls
>leave and go talk to my uncle and father instead
>the girl they went to talk to comes over
>think my friend must have noticed I was avoiding them and decided to send her over
>standing with my back to a glass table as she approaches
>"hi"
>"hi"
>she puts her hand on the back of my head and tries to direct it into her chest
>roll my head to the side and backwards to loose her grip and try to take a step back, which I can't do because of the table
>sort of leaning back over the table now with my hands on the edge to keep balance
>she takes another step forward puts her arm around my head, forces it into her chest and starts shaking her boobs in my face

>how did you feel during?
Flustered.
>how did you feel after?
Equal parts excited, mortified and, inexplicably, flattered.
>how do you feel now?
Indifferent.

>>24137743
p

29/M
I was "molested" by a nurse when I was 5 years old. She was touching my private parts and got me off a few times during my stay at the hospital.

>how did you feel during?
Great
>how did you feel after?
Great
>how do you feel now?
I don't care. I definitely don't feel like a victim, because I have thoroughly enjoyed the experience.

>>24138513
More details

>>24138914
this

>>24137774
bisex male bby

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>>24128716
I'm just imagining you looking her straight in the face and saying this, then shoving her out of the car

>>24138513
>>24138914
I'm afraid it's not going to be very exciting, because I only have very foggy memories of what happened. I was at a hospital to get my tonsils removed. It was getting late and the nurse wanted me to go pee and go to sleep. Somehow I managed to get a boner and couldn't pee, so I called her, because obviously I didn't know what was happening and I was confused. She wouldn't say anything and just grabbed my hand and brought me the nurse room. It was a night shift and she was probably the only nurse in that part of the hospital, I don't know.
She told me to sit down and take off my pyjama bottom. She started to gently touch me down there and it just felt fantastic. I don't remember what exactly she was doing, but it felt absolutely great.
After that night, she would often take me to the nurse room and would gently jack me off, or she would let me hump her legs. She was wearing pantyhose, that's probably why I have a huge fetish for it now.
It kinda changed me a little bit, I started to masturbate every day ever since. I wish I had a girlfriend that would let me hump her legs without ridiculing me, but besides this fetish I'm very dominant, so it doesn't mix together well. I guess you could say it fucked me up a little? I don't know, but I'm pretty happy with who I am, and I'm very grateful for the experience.

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30/m. A friend of mine used to come onto me a lot. One day when I was like 19 he came over, put on a hentai he wanted me to see, then forced himself on me, sucking my cock. Didn't even finish me off because he got a call from his gf and left without a word. Was my first real sexual experience too, so that was ruined.

>How did you feel during?
Confused, conflicted, horny

>How did you feel after?
Blueballed, awkward, violated, disgusted with myself for not doing anything about it

>How do you feel now?
Still a touchy subject for me and very few know about it, I cut off all ties to him years later

>>24131356
>>24129411
>>24129187
>>24129164
>>24129117
oh anon, i'm not even mad. i'm glad life got better.

>>24132252
I told him I didn't want to do anything the day before
And he groped me
It doesn't matter if you don't personally count that as assualt
Like people don't count digital penetration as sexual assault
So you're all dumbasses good for you
Whether or not he was my boyfriend has fuck all to do with it he shouldn't have done that
Ur a dumb bitch
This is done

>>24140013
Are you one of those retarded feminazis or what? It's normal. If my girlfriend wouldn't be okay with me groping her at will, I would immediately dump her ass.

>>24140264
He wasn't my boyfriend lol
P gross how you think you're entitled to someone's bod like that but you're gross 2 so who cares

>>24140284
If she feels entitled to my resources, I'm going to feel entitled to her body, it's as simple as that.
You are crazy for making such a big deal out of someone touching your tit. Go see a shrink.

>>24140300
What you're thinking of is a prostitute
Which is different than the role of a gf
You're crazy
Done

>>24140319
Nah, it's how it always was and always will be. Basically a man usually has to sacrifice resources to be able to date. Woman is the one who consumes said resources and offers other things in return.

You are ridiculous, there were people here who actually got molested and raped and you whine about someone touching your tit.

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>be me 10 or 11
>live in apartment complex with mom and little bro
>large courtyard surrounded by buildings.
>play there all the time
>one day see girl I went to elementary and part of middle school with
>Had a crush on her, major
>curly brown hair, cool as shit, tiny bit of a tomboy
>her parents are divorced, dad lives across the courtyard now
>she's over on the weekends, we spend time together outside all the time
>my mom and her dad meet since we are over at each other's places all the time
>Mom's cool with me spending time over there. Thinks her dad will be a good influence on me since my dad bailed (white, not a nigger)
>Her dad invites me over one day when the girl is not there
>asks me all kinds of strange questions about if I like his daughter and if I like girls and shit
>think I am in trouble
>asks me about if I touch myself ‘down there’
>he’s giving me the sex talk. Wasn’t clear until he got to the end and then my mom asked about it later.
>my mom asked him to, it seems. She says it is something my dad is supposed to do
>embarrassed, but he seems nice and cool about it.
>talks about porn and then shows me some. long time ago, so VHS, no internet yet
>talks about masturbation and what it is and that it’s ok, all guys do it
>long story short, he tells me I can watch porn when I want at his house and he'll leave the room so I can spank it.
>Kinda horrified and embarrassed but also really want to see more porn.
>go over occasionally and ask to watch porn. He’s always cool about it. Pops some in and leaves the room.
>Sometimes, after a while, he walks into the room, passing through, or to get something. Sometimes he just sits over on the other side of the couch and watches porn too but not looking at me.
>sort of embarrassed, but after a while, not.

to be cont.

Pics unrelated except they are me. Be fag now.

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>>24140552
>Soon he’s jerking his cock at the same time. First in his boxers and then soon out in the open
>amazed at the size of his cock. Never seen an adult one IRL. Watching him cum blows my mind the first time. I still can’t jizz.
>There is a video camera, which I know now, was on every time but didn't realize at first. I am a dumb kid
>this goes on for a while. Jerking to porn in the same room, but a lot of the time I am just watching him and how he does it, using lube sometimes etc. I’m just playing with my cock and watching him cum all over himself.
>occasionally we’d shower together after, but he wouldn’t really touch me.
>One day he comes over while I am playing with mine and gets down on his knees, I am on the sofa.
>Asks me if I want to try something that feels really good. Tells me to close my eyes and take my hand away.
>And now he’s sucking me…
>Horrified and embarrassed and scared but oh god yes, that feels amazing,
>He sucks me while jerking himself. Still no real orgasm from me though.
>first real orgasm comes very soon after. Maybe like a few weeks after.
> I think my first real jizz was in his mouth. That took a bit of time to happen though.
>When it did happen I was surprised. Thought I had peed a little and tried to get him off. He lifted his head up and spit my cum into his hand and showed me.
>He told me he was so proud and that I was becoming a man and could make babies and stuff.
>we do this for a while, we’d start jerking separately then he kneels in front of the couch and sucks me while jerking his cock.
>at first he just shot his cum on the carpet but after a while he stands up and shoots it on my body but he always waits until after I have cum.
>showering together more now because I’m frequently covered in his jizz, he always swallows mine
>asks me if I want to touch his cock in the shower one day
>goaheadtasteit.png

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>>24140554
Yeah this is copypasta but it's mine.

>It seems impossibly big but I can get quite a bit inside my mouth. He moans a bit and says that it feels so good. Doesn’t cum that time but he’s very happy and telling me how good I am and stuff.
> Soon after I'm sucking him at request
>for a while, at first, he always pulls away and cums into a towel or on his chest but then one day “forgets” and I get it my mouth.
>Swallow some instinctively. Not a fan but it’s ok. Next time he asks me to swallow.
>surewhynot.avi
>Start to learn how to suck well. He’s teaching me, coaching me to use my hands with my mouth, to play with his balls, rub his taint, etc.
>He’s always telling me how good it is and I hate to say this, but I loved it. I loved the feeling of pleasing him and the praise and also my own orgasms.
>Didn't understand gay vs. straight, still knew I liked girls but it felt great.
>Get to go over after school, get my dick sucked to completion and then suck him for a while. Not so bad.
>He continues to coach me on how to suck him off, learn how to get him off quickly and how to make noise and show enthusiasm. He’s always showering me with praise.
>this goes on for a LONG time. Maybe over a year. Then he shows me gay porn.
>maleonmalepenetration.exe
>never knew that shit was possible, I am a dumb kid – told me it feels just like a girl from the giving end, feels even better from the receiving
>sucks me with a finger inside me while I watch 2 dudes rail each other on TV.
>cum buckets and I’m hooked, start anal play at home as well, literally sharpies in pooper
>eventually, he tries his cock in me. I’m 11 or 12 maybe.
>On my back, scared as hell, shaking, but hard, hurts bad but I really wanted to get past it.
>he’s actually cool about it, stops, tells me it will take time
>doesn’t even cum, massages my asshole and puts Vaseline on it. Kinda sore next day but not bad.

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>>24140559
>after some time, we try again.
>Shows me how to clean myself out in the shower with this bulb enema. Not embarrassed by sucking cock or swallowing a man’s jizz but the idea of him seeing me poop kills me for some reason
>after shower he spends a long time massaging and fingering me, gets 3 fingers in. I’m on my stomach, feel him climb on top.
>okheregoes.jpg
>the pressure, oh my god.
>he pumps for a while, I am pretty numb so it doesn’t really hurt except when he goes deep. He’s asking me if I am okay a lot and telling how good it feels. Apparently, I am a good boy. :-P
>he finally cums inside, didn’t love it, didn’t hate it, but I didn’t cum until he blew me after.
>we do this maybe once a week or two. Start to get loosened up over time, taking man cock like a fucking pro.
>about 12 or 13 now, pubes just coming in IIRC
>wish I could tell someone, not to make it stop but because it’s like the best thing ever to me. Guy is like a Dad to me as well, takes me places with his daughter, presents at Christmas. Talks to me about guy stuff. Helps me with my homework.
>Plus he sucks a mean dick and gives me access to porn
>he tells me that we’ll get in trouble if I tell anyone because only adults are supposed to do these things
>understand that dad has been videotaping everything, didn’t before, but now he’s not hiding it.
>I am not really embarrassed though so I don’t care. Never consider why he would tape it. I was a dumb kid
>Starting to feel weird about the secrecy. Literally have no idea how bad this is, or what would happen if my mom found out. My only exposure to any of this was with him and it was normalized there but the fact that it was off limits everywhere else was very confusing to me.
>Hear gay and fag at school but literally no idea of the connection to what I was doing. I thought gay was about two boys being in love or not being able to have sex with a girl for some reason.

a few more...

>>24140563
>He never kissed me or anything like that. Put his arm around me on the couch and stuff and would give me rubdowns with oil, especially before fucking me.
>Figured out much later the gay porn which he only showed occasionally had no kissing or anything. He either edited it out or fast forwarded. I think there were only like 2 scenes total.
>One day we are the sofa bed which was still folded out because his daughter has just left
>I’ve cleaned up and cleaned out, like a good boy, lubed myself up a bit and I’m jerking myself while he sets up the camera as usual
>This time though there is a long cord into the TV which is an enormous rear projection model. Old school now, but state of the art then.
>first time he’s ever done a live feed type thing so I can see. Think it’s the coolest thing ever.
>I am sucking him and he’s watching it on the TV behind me. Kinda rush the BJ because I want to see it too.
>He lays flat on his back, and I am squatting over his dick and he’s holding my ass cheeks in his hands. Slides me down on his cock. I’m hard, sticking straight out.
>takingitlikeapronow.webm
>I’m watching this on the big TV, fucking amazed, because I had no idea that’s what it looked like really.
>I can see his cock sliding into me and it’s AMAZING. It looks like the porn he’s showed me and for some reason it was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. His cock looks too big but then it’s inside me and I’m pressed down to his balls.
>Sliding up and down slowly, want to jerk myself but have to use my hands to steady myself.
>switch to doggy, face towards tv
>For some reason, and this is something that I probably am just starting to understand fully, I am understanding that I am the ‘girl’. Not that I am a female but that I am the one who always gets fucked and it’s because of my physical size and role in our relationship.

two more and I'm done...

>>24140566
>I don’t exactly understand all of that then really, but I feel this wave of what may have been shame or embarrassment. I know I felt physically hot all of a sudden.
>then on my back at the edge of the bed. Dad’s holding the camera, sort of POV
>start jerking my cock, watching myself on TV
>He’s filming and smiling down at me asking if it feels good and I nod. He says it feels really good to him and that I am sexy
>’Sexy’ makes me feel very weird. I’m surprised by the word, and stop looking at him and go back to looking at the TV.
>suddenly cum buckets all over myself, never done that while being penetrated
>hellyes.jpg
>That really cemented how I felt about anal. Being fucked was a thing for him and I did it because I really kinda loved the guy but it always made me nervous
>felt like I would get hurt, as there was always a tiny bit of pain, but now I get it.
>I also would get a bit soft and never thought I could get off like I did when he fingered me but this was a whole different level
>so Dad pulls out, cums all over me, which normally, he always came inside
>some lands on my face
>firsttimeforthat.ogg
>dad zooms in, I am watching myself turning my head back and forth.
>seen it in porn never on me, kinda mesmerized, dads got a huge grin
>okthatwasfun.scr

>>24140573
>this goes on till I am about 15 or 16, right before highschool
>dad rails me or blasts my throat. Girls ignore me but I have less interest because my balls are always empty
>Went to Disney with him and his girls even, mom couldn’t afford it. He never did anything with me when they were around though.
>Dad basically treats me like the son he never had which I know sounds horrifying to some but I fucking loved the guy
>must have swallowed buckets of cum, mom had no idea, never almost got caught
>as I got older, from time to time I would worry about what we were doing, getting caught, being called a fag, etc.
>He’d always reassure me…and then fuck me. He never tried to kiss me or make out or cuddle or anything. No feminization, no verbal abuse nothing at all.
>Never close to getting caught since we were in his Apt. My mom called sometimes to tell me to come home or whatever.
>The occasional weekend when his daughters weren’t there were awesome. He’d take me to a movie, then we’d go home, cum all over everywhere, shower and then he’d make grilled cheese and we’d watch cartoons or something
>then things got weird, and awful and that part is hard to reconcile with this part.
> I wonder from time to time if he hadn’t crossed a line, and also if he hadn’t been taping it and shit, if I would have any negative feelings about it at all.


fin

>how did you feel during?
I was on a shitload of ketamine and was almost completely damn out of it, so pretty damn fine
>how did you feel after?
Dirty. Used. Straight guy, and some fuck decided that I was gonna be his onahole
>how do you feel now?
Addicted to heroin and suicidal. My girlfriend at the time begged me to get therapy; I'm thoroughly convinced that if I'd just listened to her, I wouldn't be in as bad a place as I am now

Not everyone on soc is some sex fiend, OP. I was a total virgin at the time, and I've had sex once since.

>>24140359
You're a tit butteater

>>24140013
>like people don't count digital penetration as sexual assault
If he had digitally penetrated you that would have been sexual assault.
>This is done

>>24141677
You do not appear to have a great intellectual capacity. Saying "done" three times? Calling him a butt eater? Not just saying no? I'm not sure you're 14, let alone 18.

>>24141671
So youre in therapy now?

>how did you feel during?
it hurt a lot.
>how did you feel after?
Confused. I was 6.
>how do you feel now?
I want to die

>>24110048
no

>>24141731
Now, but I'm not entirely convinced that it's helping. At the time, I was alright talking about it with people I trusted; now, I can only ever talk about it anonymously. Too much shame, especially after realizing that most would say that it was my own fault.

>>24141703
>>24141690
No yall

m, got molested by my stepbrother when I was about 9 I think, and he was about 5 years older

>how did you feel during
Confused
>how did you feel after
Just as confused. It bothered me for a while and it sort of skewed my sexual development I'm pretty sure. Never displayed any interest in it until 16. Wasn't really a conscious response, so it could be a coincidence though. When it turned out I only liked men as I did develop sexual interests I was worried that it might have to do with my molestation for a while but I kinda shoved those concerns aside. I don't think it's related, and if anything my delayed sexual development might just be because I never liked girls sexually and thus couldn't really relate to my peers, instead of my molestation. I don't know, I'm not a psychologist.
>how do you feel now
I'm okay now. It was alltogether pretty mild and I think it helps it wasn't an adult doing it so there wasn't as massive a power gap so I don't think it did any REAL long-lasting damage. I think had he actually raped me or had it been an adult I'd probably be pretty fucked up now.

>>24143729
.

>>24128926
Are you male or female?

>>24142577
>>24142577
How old were you?

>>24144961
tump

>>24108792
i am a girl. Sorry English is not my country's language. When i was 10 i was watching a movie with my cousin at his house in his bedroom at a late time because i was supposed to sleep with him in my sleeping bag. It was an old movie about a man getting exiled in Siberia and a romance too. I was sitting in his lap and he was wrapped in a blanket.I did not realise i was sitting on his lap and naked penis through my pajamas for the later half of the movie until over a year later.

>how did you feel during?
confused and funny. i told him there was something in his pocket bumping my butt and he said not to worry so i didnt mind because it didnt hurt.
>how do you feel after
when i just realised i broke down but mostly because he was my favourite cousin and i felt betrayed, not objectified
>how do you feel now
when i think about it its so long ago i dont really care

>>24145208
I'm sure I said I was 6.

>>24145387
are you male or female?

>>24145619
I'm a girl.

>>24145699
Was there any tearing? I'm generally curious how an adult male can fit in a 6yo.

>>24145704
I don't think there was any tearing. I did bleed sometimes. he used mostly his fingers.

>>24142577
why do you want to die?

>>24108792
My abusive gf at the time.
>during
tired, feelings kind of hurt, it was always when i had to go to sleep early to wake up for something important in the morning, but my no meant nothing to her
>after
tired, and annoyed. i went to sleep.
>now
tired. I'm always tired. It makes me anxious to think about, but otherwise it's okay.

I didn't realise for a couple of years that it was rape.

>>24146386
I've never been in control of my life or my body. I feel stuck and I don't think things will get any better.

>>24146432
Hey, I wish you the best in life anon. That shit is rough, but you've made it this far and that takes courage and strength.

Sending u some good vibes and love from australia.

Male
Late 20's
Was molested and raped by multiple older kids on my street from the ages of 8 to 11, on an almost weekly basis.
I did it because they had convinced me that it was the only way to be cool, to be accepted.
I performed oral copius amounts of times and was sodomized more than anything else.
After the years of abuse were over I blocked the memories completely and forgot all about them until I dated a psycho chick that landed me in therapy and they did some memory recall shit and brought it all to the surface. It took months of therapy to fix me after that, but now I use it for good.
The memories are engrained in me. I will always recall them randomly and the memories will be like it happened today, even though it was almost 2 decades ago at this point.
I've dedicated my life to helping others, and currently am finishing attending a state fire academy, and I hope one day to become a firefighter paramedic. I'm already an EMT working for a local fire department on their ambulances.
I use the pain, use the memories to keep pushing me forward. To show the me of the past that i don't have to end up like so many abused are- medicated, depressed, suicidal. There's too much good in life to let the evil win even a little. There's too much beauty to be self absorbed in my own pitty, and there are too many people to help to spend time shut out from the world for a thing that's in the past and won't hurt me here in the future.

Background: Female, 19, was molested from 7-9 by two of my male cousins.

>how did you feel during?
Mixture of terrified and clueless. They were from the side of the family that we didn't really talk to and they said they would hurt/kill my baby brother if I didn't do what they said or let them do what they wanted. But I was also too young to understand any of it... what was going on, the fact that it was bad.

>how did you feel after?
I was completely obsessed with sex ever since then. Never told anyone about what happened until my mid teens. Realized at 17 that the reason I was so obsessed with sex was because it was introduced to me so early and I guess I was trying to like. Take control? Own my sex life and choices since it was taken from me? Idk

>how do you feel now?
Pretty meh, tried therapy but at this point there's no reason for it, it's done and over, they've both been in and out of jail/prison for various reasons, they've had fucked up lives. I kinda wish that I had been able to maintain my innocence a little while longer but I've learned to live with it.

>>24146432
how old are you?

>>24146498
My heart goes out to you anon.

Tbh it goes out to all of y'all.

>>24147288
21

>>24143157
Your actions are manipulative abuse, feel sorry for yourself in hell

>>24108792
I'm 25, male.
When I was 5, I remember my grandparents taking me out to pick dandelions in a field out in a really rural area. For a long time I didn't remember the specific action, but basically he touched my dick and my asshole and jerked off in front of me and got me to jerk off but like, I was 5 so I guess I didn't really jerk off but I kinda did.
That's the only instance I remember specifically, and I can't say for sure whether it happened before or after, but he died from cancer about two years later.
He was raised in a Catholic orphanage that was notorious for sexual abuse, Mount Cashel in Newfoundland, so I assume he had the same or similar done to him. I never told my mom about it but I've always been curious since I realized what happened whether she was touched or anything because she's super sexually repressed, like /pol/ levels of thinking things are degenerate. My mom also had an older brother who was totally fucked up, so I sort of assume he may have been touched by my grandpa as well. I tried to bring it up to my older brother once as well, but he didn't want to hear it.
It's sort of a tough memory, and hard for me to reconcile because I have so many fond memories of my poppy as well, and he was a very well loved man in my community (I don't want to give specific examples to identify him). So I would say one thing it's taught me is that good people can do bad, even terrible things, but it doesn't erase the good they do.
As for the legacy of how it affected me, I lost my virginity to my first girlfriend when I was 14 and haven't gone longer than a few weeks without sex since then.
When I was younger I got into drugs and shit, maybe as a result of looking for escape at that time of my life, or maybe just because I was a dumb teenager.
Most of my girlfriends, I've cheated on, most several times. (cont)

>>24148527
I have a really bad, strong, sexual obsessive compulsion. I'm also handsome, and an amateur bodybuilder, so I've never had a shortage of willing partners. I prefer rough sex, as the dominant, but frequently have vanilla sex too.
Right now I'm with a girl I've been dating for 4 years on an off. I cheated on her in the past, some times she knows about and some times she doesn't, but she took me back. I'm two years faithful now, and have learned to jerk myself off and use fairly extreme porn to satisfy my sexual compulsion, which isn't ideal, but it's better than cheating.
I have had a fear in the past that I'll continue the cycle of abuse my poppy was perpetuating when he diddled me, but so far I've had no pedophilic compulsions, even when I worked at a camp with kids. I also told my current girlfriend, who it's likely I'll marry, about all this stuff, including my fear, and she's been a huge support.
I feel bad that I fucked up in the past, but I'm pretty happy I'm doing things right the last couple of years.
It's pretty fucked how much that kind of abuse can affect you.

>>24140013
Hey, Hi there, I know you think it's cool to be on the 4chans and all... but I mean this quite literally when I say.

GO BACK TO FUCKING TUMBLR~!!

>>24140577
>Things got weird

You mean they were about to be interesting...
Tells us!

What's the part that fucked you up for life... besides all the other shit you faggot.

>>24146498
Did they have penetrative sex with you? How old were your cousins when it started?

>>24123205
What is your issue with punctuation?

>>24149647
b

>>24150751
ump