This is a little bit weird thread and it is very hard for me

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This is a little bit weird thread and it is very hard for me to make this thread but:

Can someone please tell me how or where can I find a gay or bi guy that is searching for a male boyfriend or for a shemale/trap girlfriend? I want to become his male or trans bf/gf, because I am not straight too, except in total hiding, because I live in one of the 77 countries in the world where being gay is illegal. I am ready to stay married with him for life and love him forever and be completely submissive to him, I am ready to commit all the way, taking hormones and going through plastic surgeries and transitioning if he likes to have a trans gf.

Is there a website for this? Or how can I fullfill this? Please advice me on what to do, and if you or someone you know interested please tell me where to contact you and I will come talk to you. Thanks to anybody who helps in advance.