secret/vent/feels/advice thread

Over the past few years I slowly lost all my friends due to my alcohol abuse. I would show up trashed to nearly every social event, get us kicked out of restaurants, throw up on people's carpets, I even went to a friend's family's thanksgiving blasted off my ass in front of children.

That was utterly unacceptably wrong of me and I admit that and have been sober for six months.

I don't expect people to just let me back into their lives, in fact some of my friends who still live at home their parents won't allow me in their house. I fucked up real bad, again and again.

Basically what I want to say to each person is "I understand if you still don't want to be friends anymore, but I want you to know that I am sorry and that I quit drinking altogether." Is that reasonable? I'm thinking to get each person to a public place (restaurant) to tell them face to face because a text or phone call wouldn't seem as sincere. On the other hand, some of them may not respond to me calling trying to arrange a lunch date.

What do you think I should do?

I'm afraid of commitment, and have hurt multiple people with my unwillingness to settle down.
I feel terrible about it, but still can't convince myself to tie myself down, knowing I probably won't be happy.

i have a small penis. my whole life (30 years now) i have let it ruin my life. i have neglected my body and my happiness. this has led me to gain a lot of weight (282lbs) and have bad teeth because i basically thought.. why even bother? no woman would ever want to be with a guy like me. especially once i dropped my pants and she saw what i had to offer in the bedroom. because of this i have never pursued a relationship with a woman. i have never kissed a girl or had sex. i have felt boobs but that's it.

about a year ago i decided my life was shit and i was going to do something about it. i quit my dead end job working like a slave for next to nothing and not being appreciated and moved to another state. i started working out to lose weight. went to the dentist to get teeth fixed and whitened(medicaid hooray). and i have been using a few online dating apps to try to meet women. i know i have a good personality and can bring a lot to a relationship outside the bedroom.

to be continued...

>>23610995
Sucks they weren't good enough friends to help you through this rough patch. Congrats on being sober tho

>>23611072
i have talked to 2 different women and shared my story with each of them, even exchanged some pics. both of them said the same thing that size really isn't everything and it "wasn't too small". this was a huge confidence booster for me. i have not met either woman in real life yet and one of the women recently went awal on me after she said she was developing feelings for me and it scares her due to her last relationship.

this woman and myself have shared some pretty deep things and we even talked about marriage and kids with each other. this made me so happy and i even thought my life was about to actually get happy. then she stops texting me. i have a feeling she's not coming back this time. we'll never meet. the other woman is going through a divorce and says we probably shouldn't do anything besides text. i tried the online apps again but no luck. i swipe right on literally EVERYONE on tinder and all i get is bots. people on plenty of fish will look at my profile after i message them but i never get a response. i'll never be happy. my life sucks. i want to die.

>>23610996
Try to be more straight forward about this issue towards others. Hiding it won't ever resolve anything.

im hopelessly addicted to cock. i dont know where it started but now if i ever see a cock i HAVE to suck it. this happened in high school, and it happens now in college. ill go to parties and see a drunk guy pull it out, before i even know what im doing ill be on my knees with his cock in my mouth. i have ended up spending 7 hours at a guys house sucking cock after cock, my clothes were ruined, my hair and face was drenched in cum. if i hadn't passed out and been carried home by a friend i would have been there much longer. i once took a shortcut home from school and ran into a homeless man pissing in a corner. i was on his cock before he even stopped pissing. i dont mind sucking cock but im going to get hurt eventually. im disease free but i dont know how long i can last.

Ever since I can remember I have had issues with my weight. I have always been on the heavier side so I don't even bother try finding a girlfriend or boyfriend because I feel that they will be disgusted at the way my body looks.

I managed to have on meaningful relationship that lasted 2 years but because of how insecure I was, I ended breaking up with her for no reason. After we broke up (I had lost a lot of weight while we were dating) I did nothing but lay on my bed and eat and sleep. I felt like a complete loser. I gained about 200lbs after breaking up with her that now I am way more insecure about my weight that ever

My biggest fear is that I'm going to end up alone and be a pathetic drug abuser all my life.

Sometimes I just wish that I was born a male and maybe life would have been maybe just a little easier.

>>23611076
dude my dick isnt that big, im pushing 5 1/2 inches hard and im just over 6 foot so it actually looks like 4 inches on me. my girlfriend cant get enough of my dick, even better is because its not too big she isnt opposed to anal all the time. shes pretty smol though, shes 5"2 and fairly petit so i guess its on you.

just find someone that you enjoy the company of and then if they love you enough to accept your flaws, then that'll just be one imperfection that they have to embrace. just as long as the first thing you say isn't about the size of your dick, you should be alright. also learn how to eat pussy so you aren't completely useless when the time comes.

also if you're thinking relationship == happiness, then you're thinking like an 11 year old in middle school. you need to find solace in something. spend time discovering yourself, find hobbies that you like, find people that can relate to your views on said hobby, start going to the gym and start learning how to dress. 282 pounds isnt even that big, my best mate is 135kg and he still pulls mad pussy.

so just dont accept the fact that life sucks and that you'll never be happy because then it'll never change.

File: 1387136502477.jpg (183KB, 1370x679px) Image search: [Google]

183KB, 1370x679px

>>23611076
Eh, shit sucks. Most important thing is to keep moving forward against all odds. Yeah that's not much advice but it's the only working one. Trust me, you can be super talented or intelligent or whatever, but if you don't have the grit to move forward, you're going to fail regardless, but if you don't have anything but just keep moving on, you'll do fine.
Besides you went through so much shit already, what do you have to lose if you stop now? Ask yourself, is there even a point to stop?

Here, have a story about Bruce Lee.

I keep getting with my friends boyfriend(s)

we're both blonde, i'm skinnier/prettier.

She meets these cute guys (don't know how she has connections, I don't really talk to boys on a night out usually just drinking and boogeying) then we all start hanging out and then in a couple of weeks they start trying it on.

Trying to be a better person. Don't judge me.

>>23611137
I know this feel. I can't remember a time I wasn't obsessed with my weight. I have had eating disorders, always dieting, exercise, and still always slightly chubby. I have let it ruin tons of potential partners because I feel like they'd be ashamed of me. I have let it ruin both of my serious relationships because I am so insecure I don't trust they actually like me plus jealousy. I wish I was a dude too sometimes because girls are expected to be small and feminine we get so much shame for not being thin like they believe its the only thing we have to do and we fucked it up. Sometimes I just want to take a knife and cut my chubby off because I'm so desperate. But I guess only choice is to keep obsessing and being alone.

My boyfriend makes me feel like shit. I haven't told anyone/gotten any input on it because I've been really busy with school and working a part-time job, so I haven't been able to hang out with any of my close friends.

Every time I'm with him, I feel unappreciated or rejected. Like he'll say he loves me and whatnot but he constantly puts me down anytime I want to have sex. Then he goes and tells me that he isn't horny because he uses a bunch of my sex toys on himself when I'm not around. And then when I get ever slightly upset, he goes "What?! I thought that would make you happy. You told me to be more open about stuff like that with you."

So today, when I finished class and he was at work, I went into his room (he lives with his family still cause we're poor college kids), took all of our sex toys out of the box we keep them in, except for the nipple clamps he paid for (I paid for every single other toy, so hundreds of dollars worth) and left a little note that says "Go fuck yourself :)"

Probably not the most mature thing I've done, but we've talked about it SO many times and I'm starting to think he just straight up doesn't find me attractive anymore and I'm kinda losing my shit, so it happened.

If anyone has any advice, that'd be great. Like we don't have any other huge issues or anything, it's just that he's always making excuses to not have sex and is basically being the opposite of clingy.

>>23610995
I think you're doing the right thing. It's likely that not everyone will forgive you, but some will and then maybe you'll be able to rekindle the friendships you've lost.

>>23610996
Yeah, just be straightforward with people and if it doesn't feel right, don't settle down. You just might not be ready yet and if you force yourself into it, it probably won't end well.

I desperately want a boyfriend/date but I'm not attractive or interesting enough to deserve one. I have no interests or hobbies outside posting on 4chan and watching youtube videos, I cannot find anything I'm passionate about or really care about more then "eh." I don't know how to meet people because I'm super autistic, online dating just intensifies it.
I'm so lonely and I just don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to fix myself. I've tried the "fake it till you make it", I've tried "just doing it", it's been 4 years of doing all of that. Nothing is helping, nothing is working. I'd have an hero'd by now if it weren't for my parents. They're literally the only people in my life that would actually give a damn/not get over it eventually if I croaked.

>>23612116
>poor college kids
>hundreds of dollars worth of sex toys
what

i'd confront him about how he's making you feel.

>>23612177
>we've talked about it SO many times
also to clarify, hundreds as in, probably about $600 spent over 2+ years and "poor" as in, can't afford to live on our own but have some cash from working a part-time job. not rocket science.

I'm infatuated with my 18 year old niece and want to fuck her brain out

I'm just so fucking tired of his shit and probably would consider cheating on him if I had spare time in my life. Horrible, I know. (Not like I caught him almost cheating on me twice in the past year~)

>>23612205
Your bf and my ex bf seem to have a lot in common.

>>23612215
How did things happen with you two? What made you decide to break up?

>>23612230
I brought out his kinky side, got us a bunch of toys. He'd use them all the time when I wasn't around and wouldn't be up for sex afterwards. He got super addicted to using dildos on himself, wanted me to peg him, wanted me to cuck him.

>>fuckno.jpg

We broke up, were together 4 years.

>>23612205
ah yeah the limbo of "having enough money to buy nice things but not enough to fully support yourself" I know it all too well. Cost of living is too damn high.
But I don't know it seems like he's not listening maybe taking away the toys was a good call.

>>23612238
Ouch, literally almost the same situation here. My #1 fantasy is pegging my boyfriend but we'll go like ten seconds (super slow) and then he'll tell me to stop. Meanwhile he apparently rams dildos up his ass hard and fast when I'm not around. I used to think he was just shy about it, so I tried to get him to practice by himself and open up and tell me about it, but that definitely backfired :/

>>23612255
I didn't have an issue with pegging him, I had an issue with him wanting to be cucked, that shit was just not my game. I explained to him this wasn't what I wanted and I didn't like the idea of having sex with someone else and he tried to guilt me into it or force me with 'well if you love me' bs. I couldn't take it anymore so I just broke it off with him.

I play video games with this girl and that is our only level of interaction. I ask if she wants to play and so far it's always been yes. However if I don't ask there's no contact at all. Am I being a creep? Should I just leave her alone? If it makes a difference we meet up at a cafe to play.

>>23612254
Yeah, I really hope so D: I'm just scared he'll get mad and play the victim card and somehow make me feel bad about it, but on the other hand I kinda don't give a shit anymore

>>23612164
I'm in a similar situation. I find just accepting the loneliness helps. If you devalue the need for someone else in your life you start to value things about yourself more. I don't know it kinda works for me.

>>23612262
Ah, okay. Mine isn't into cucking at all but I can definitely see how awful that must've been. Like "oh no, I used your sex toys to get off but fuck some other guy in front of me instead"

This will probably be a vent/confession that I'm a crappy person.

I miss the abilities I had when I was younger, I grew up online on chatrooms and shit like that from the age of 13. Straight away I could read people, I could understand their personality from the get go. Because of this I would "collect" people, I would collect the guys, and make them either fall for me or fall into lust with me, despite the fact I was this gremlin looking creature.

Now I'm much older and I'm not bad looking (lucky me), I'm more extroverted, I do more shit with friends in person and stuff like that. I've lost my ability to read people, I'm not good at flirting anymore and I can't collect people.

This has lead to a HUGE inferiority complex with all other girls. I see every single girl as better than me. I see them to be more attractive, happier, just generally balls of light that anyone would want to be around and I perceive myself as a turd. This means I want to collect guys again to really feed my confidence and sense of self worth. I want to be people's favourite person, but that won't happen because I'm truly crappy. There's only so much I can do, you can't really polish a turd and call it a masterpiece.

>>23612265
that seems kinda manipulative. maybe he should see a therapist if thats the way he wants to deal with it.

I want my wife to be a slut again. I'm married 10 years with my wife and sex is fun and great. Get plenty of it, she knows how to turn me on (it's easy honestly)

but damn... I miss the initial spark of how slutty and sexually aggressive she used to be. Before we settled down she had stories of how she would sleep with FWBs when we were first starting out (as in not yet commited, not BF GF) and how even before that in school she was just really promiscuous and slutty. In retrospect I now realize that is what attracted me to her because I grew up very conservative and thought all girls hated sex and I was a rapist for wanting to even touch them. Fuck up head I guess.

Now we are just, well, idk, we have good sex but she is definitely not a slut and I feel myself thinking back to her stories, going home with guys from work for one night fucks, sucking off guys at school and even begging some of her friends to run a train on her.

so yeah... I like that she is faithful but my secret is I get super turned on by the thought of her being a slut again and just seducing everyone she wants and sucking tons of cock.

>>23611127
god damn that is hot. Probably fake, but hot.

>>23612280
to be fair it's probably more I want to see you fuck someone else while we both enjoy that act rather than I don't want to please you... but, then again, I don't do the other stuff your BF seems to do. Sorry about that.

I was raped by my older sister when I was 7 and have a fear of her touching me, I'm now 20 and live with her and her husband

>>23610970
I got some serious abandonment issues I love people but I'm too afraid to let them close, and i'm so incredibly emotionally unavailable, i've come to terms with me never getting a partner.

And i seem to thrust all my stress and anxiety into sexual behavior which i have no way or interest of getting rid of with someone cause fucking cant deal with people.

so I'm just constantly pent up trying to find something else to fill me up other than excessive gaming, trying to just drown in work.


really sucks when people like you and i just cant seem to want any sort of relationship with them cause i'm a massive beta, god damn rip.

I miss the abuse. I miss being hit and kicked and just used like I meant nothing. I always felt it was my price to pay to have someone like him in my life. When he wasn't using me, he was sweet and kind and just everything I could ask for.

But at the drop of a hat he'd pick me up and take me downstairs into the basement, and I never fought him. I'd scream but I never begged for him to stop. I had a gag in most of the time. It went on for hours and during weekends sometimes I'd lose a sense of time.

I felt like I deserved it, because nothing as wonderful as having someone who makes you feel loved, can just be free. It's a give and take, he gave me affection and I gave him me. There was almost no limit to his desires, I'd almost crawl into the shower and just lie against the wall and let the water wash away the blood. I got off on it, it wasn't as bad as it really seemed but one night I got a visit from the police. He killed himself.

It's been two years and I've lived like a hermit, just going to school and home again as I finally finish my masters. I slipped in the shower this morning and it my eye. When I felt the pain and I saw the bruise I felt myself getting aroused.

I just want to die. I feel like this all the time, and really I can't find a reason to go on. I figured at this point it won't really matter much of a few people online know. But I'm just going to post this and the contine my cycle. Just like I do every time I feel like it's the end.

>>23613307
this sounds like some fanfic. lol

Lately, all my fantasies have involved sucking a dick, worshiping cock. I have some ideas where this came from. I have like no desire to do anything else with a guy, being with a guy seems disgusting, but the idea of holding a dick, squeezing it, feeling it get hard, rubbing my face against one, sucking on it and feeling it expand in my mouth is where most of my fantasies lie.

I even started looking at the M4M CL adds, almost went through with it, but chickened out. This is fairly recent, but it's strong. As in, I can scroll down a dick rate thread, and when I hit one that's just impressive, I get turned on, and I have had some of the best orgasms to them. I want to be a cocksucker, have a regular dick and balls to play with. I get off equally to the idea of swallowing or getting my face plastered. It feels like just a matter of time.

>>23613366
Feel the same way

I'm pretty sure I have schizophrenia. I've never been to a doctor or a psychiatrist or even told anyone, but I'm almost certain it's that.

Started hearing things when I was a teenager, about 14 or 15 I think. I used to think it was just that I had really good hearing or something, as dumb as that sounds. It was like a few words I'm 25 now, and in the past few years things have gotten really intense. There's a group of people who talk to me, like 3 or 4 regular voices - I call them "the Tree People" because they hide in the trees near where I work. I walk by them most days and they call to me, tell me secrets and comment on other people nearby. Sometimes they follow me home if it's dark, but I never see them, only hear. A few times I've tried to talk back, but it's like waking myself up from a dream; the voices stop and I'm just there on my own very aware that I just said something out loud to no one.

I'm perfectly lucid and normal over 90% of the time, and I know that I'm just imagining it, but when they're there it's like I'm in a dream and it's hard to tell what's real and what isn't. I'm worried that it will continue to get worse and I won't be able to tell it apart from the real world, that I'll end up like one of those classic hollywood crazy people you see in the movies.

I'm terrified of going to see anyone about it because I know they'll most likely medicate me and I can't deal with that. I'm scared of not being myself, of not being in control, if that makes sense. Worse, I worry that I'll get locked up in a mental hospital or put on a list and be watched all the time.

hey soc, lady here who needs advice. I'm going to try rimming my guy tomorrow because he's wild in bed and loves butt stuff. which I enjoy! but guys are hairy and gross so I'm worried if I just dive in without asking I'll... regret it. but is saying "hey can I lick your butt, is it prepared for that?" a buzzkill? I think it'd be very unsexy. DO I risk licking a turd or ruining the moment?!

>>23613407
Before butt stuff you should take a shower together
both parties scrub the fuck out of their ass, stick a soapy finger in each other's ass
if you want to do full blown anal or gaping get an enema from a sex toy shop
butts are great but poop comes out of there

I met 2 really nice guys at an event a few weeks back, both were super sweet, very polite, and extremely cute.

They both live far away though, and I don't know how to talk to guys. I'm meeting one of them for a concert next month. I like him, but I kind of like the other guy a bit more, we clicked instantly.

I'll take any advice you guys got

>>23612164
I have one friend who's in a similar situation as you. Except that she's not on good terms with her parents. To her, I'm the only person she can rely on.
If you want someone to chat with, maybe give you some advice if you have questions, or subtly nudge you in the right direction, you can send me an email to icansharethismail at gmail com. You can include a different contact method in your mail if you want.

I have a voice in my head that tells me to kill myself everyday. I have so much shame that I sometimes emotionally dissociate and physically isolate myself so that there's no chance of someone else making this problem worse. Right now I'm staying at a friends' parents' house because I have nowhere to go for the next few weeks. I'm afraid of talking to his parents because I'm afraid of being judged.

SECRETS!!


>I've struggled with severe clinical depression, SAD, and bipolar disorder since 2006. I've been locked up in a mental hospital 5 times for trying to make that final sleep. The actual amount of times I've come close to suicide without telling anybody at all is much higher than that. But I'm glad to be here today, and if you don't think you're worth it, you probably are.

>I have an assault felony on my record because a cop wrote on his police report that I hit him. I tried to commit suicide while in police custody, but the bullies took me down, told me I should have "tried harder next time." They faked medical photographs of bruises, then put them in the police report. Shit like this happens in the US, and nobody believes it. I didn't try to fight it in court because I didn't have the money for a lawyer and the court-appointed attorney didn't help me at all. And people wonder why the justice system sucks here?

>I have worked with famous people before, but I don't tell anybody because I fear they might get jealous.

>My IQ puts me in the top 2-3 percentile, but I am further behind nearly everybody I know in life.

>Women get scared of me

>I'm 29, but am abused by my mother every day. There's nothing I can do but just take the abuse. I wish I could move out, but I only make about $700 a month, and she takes my money. Can't move out! Help!

>Life sucks.

>>23611864
some goku level shit there

>>23613841
I'm so sorry :(

I fell in love with my best friend and after I told her about my feelings for her she admitted she felt the same way and ultimately she cheated on her boyfriend with me. Now she's broken up with her boyfriend and I don't know what she wants or what's going to happen next. Even worse I just went for drinks with my high-school crush, who I see a few times a year, and I can't help thinking that really it's her I want.

>>23613841
Sorry to hear anon. But don't compare like the stage you're at in life to other people. Lame and cliché as it sounds your story is your own and will always be important. Believe you can make it through this - you've come so far already!

>>23613741
Anon no-one will judge you as hard as yourself. I know it's hard but you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable, to trust other people, to move forward - it will make you stronger, I promise.

>>23613625
How far away? Do they know each other?

>>23613402
How old are you? I know there's no easy answer here, but if you're going to acknowledge and communicate about it at any point in your life, the sooner that is the better.

>>23614202
Just straight up ask her if she wants a relationship with you. Being dishonest with your best friend isn't the way to go. Speak yourselves out.

As far as that crush is concerned, it doesn't sound like there's a high chance something will come from it, and you probably have little ways of telling how it would work out. You should view and cherish it for what it is - a high school crush. Keep the good feelings, but don't put them on the high shelf.

i'm a shitty human being
i treat people like shit
i pretend like i can do no wrong
i'm afraid everyone can see through me
i can't handle criticism
i don't deserve my job
i don't deserve my friends
i masturbate so much sex is boring to me
i don't give a fuck about you or your problems

I got my sister pregnant and her BF thinks it's his

What do

i wish i would have known about being trans* when i was 14

I haven't been the same since my ex cheated on me, and it's changed me in so many ways. I've taken out my negative feelings on others in ways that I'm fucking ashamed of, and it's been tearing me apart since then. But I've mostly learned to deal with the following consequences of each. But I think what I'm having the most trouble dealing with is the side effects of doing LSD too much. This feeling of looking around and being amazed by everything. Knowing that it's all beautiful in it's own way, and seeing people in a new light...it's distracting. I wish I could just silence my mind and chill the fuck out, but it's hard sometimes.

On top of this, I'm getting evicted this month, and I've no clue where I'm going.

Ceva

>>23612047
kys

>>23615475
kys

I want to go to college but I found out my abusive ex still has a year at the college I'd be going to. I thought I'd be fine if I ran into him but I end up trembling and crying. I might skip out on college, what I want to take is 2 years and I don't think I can handle being around him that long without going mad.

I have been married for 4 years, and for the past 3 months, I have had a legitimate cum slut to use.

We get together whenever my wife isn't around. She lets me do anything I want to her, and she is submissive as fuck. I feel like I started doing this because my wife does not keep up with my sex drive.. at all. She is fine with only fucking once a month.

im almost 30 and have never had a girlfriend in real life.

i dated one girl in a long distance relationship that i met online but it didnt work out because we were too different, and to be honest i was kind of lazy/depressed during part of it because of rl stuff, and ruined it because i didnt know what to do.

even if i was to get into a relationship, i wouldnt know what to do still.

i just kind of feel empty and shitty so i dont really care and have given up on girls.

i dont really know where to go from here, i think im too introverted and need my time and space away from girls, but sometimes i wouldnt mind having a gf to do things with too. its just a thing that comes and goes

i'll try and keep this as short as possible and there will be spelling errors lol

go back about 2 years i was dealing with a very bad break up from my ex gf, a dead end job not going anywhere and the pressure from it and a diagnosis of hiv that i contracted from her and then dealing with the depression that followed, was in quite a very vad spot, anyways fast forward a few months i started seeing this girl i knew from back in my school days, we both liked each other back then too, mostly started out as a fwb kinda thing (always played safe and im at undetectable status) then things started to develop from there, we both had strong feelings for each other, it killed me every day not telling her, then the day we were about to accounce being bf/gf i decided to tell her and the reaction that followed led me to try and kill myself (didnt happen) but it threw me back into another bad depression because it was all my fault and i admit that i did wrong, i didnt want to lose her but i did

few months later i met another girl, but this time i told her straight up about me, we are currently engaged and getting married at the end of the year and have our first child on the way, i couldnt be any happyier

about a week ago, the girl that i lost has come back, messaging me on fb, saying that she is really happy for me and wanted to clear the air about what happened between us, so i accept and continue chatting, my fiancè knows about her and what happened and that we have been talking and shes ok with it, but the whole time between the time she left to now i havnt stopped thinking about her and what happened and cant help but still have feelings for her even though we both are in commited relationships and its starting to make me feel crap again, im at a loss with what to do because im really happy and love my fiancè but just cant get it out of my head

>>23616383
Don't do it, goddamnit.

>>23616383
She doesn't want you back you idiot
She dumped you for a permanent unchangeable reason

>>23616398
not planning on it, id never cheat on my partner

i just dont know what to do because i cant get these feelings out of my head

>>23610970
Recently had a threesome with my gf and her best friend. Would love for it to happen again but I'm keeping it low profile for now, since I have yet to see how they deal with it in the long run.
Given the following situation:
>gf's best friend was my first time(, we were FWB for a while after that)
>the three of us are pretty open about sexuality around each other
>gf is basically fine with me sleeping with other women (that one has some ground rules on its own, but that's the gist of it)
>gf also hinted that she initially wanted to watch me and her best friend having sex when the threesome happened


How would /soc/ go about initiating another threesome?


Yes, I guess I could plainly ask the two of them, but atm it seems kinda weird to me. Also, I'm by far the most vanilla/shy out of the three of us.

>>23616405
Apologize for what you did and move on.

>>23616414
did that plenty of times, have moved on but when things come back into your life can be a bit hard to ignore them

>>23612289
I normally don't reply in these threads but I get what you're saying. The problem isn't that you've lost an ability, but back then it was way more simple. Other people didn't know how to play the game, or were just bad at it. Now that you're older, not only have the rules changed, but other people have had more experience playing the game. It may help your confidence to read some psychology. Start with Influence by Cialdini.

I'm married, have a good job, have a house/car/etc., bills paid, have friends. I still think about killing myself every day. I have no reason to feel this way. Feelsbadman.

>>23611076
Don't worry about your penis size. I never really gave 2 fucks about a guy's penis but im all about sense of humor, broad shoulders and voice <3 even if your private parts were almost 'non existent', you still have your love/tongue/fingers right?

There are so many girls like me who would choose any romantic guy over a big willy.

Some girls indeed are complete twats about it, but dont get disheartened- they dont deserve you

>>23616408
it's not weird to ask, you're all adults, just man up and bring it up. It was fun, she enjoyed it, don't over think things.

Basically assuming this was my GF / wife I'd just straight up ask if she enjoyed it, let her know I did and simply say we should do it again sometime.

How long have you two been together? This shouldn't be an uncomfortable conversation.

>>23617346
>it's not weird to ask, you're all adults, just man up and bring it up. It was fun, she enjoyed it, don't over think things.
I'm not overthinking, I was simply wondering what people on here would do. I am well aware that plainly asking is the most viable solution.

>Basically assuming this was my GF / wife I'd just straight up ask if she enjoyed it, let her know I did and simply say we should do it again sometime.
Gf isn't the problem here, it's her best friend I'm not sure about. The day after she said stuff like "[...]next time, I'm gonna return the favor!", but when I recently tested the waters she didn't say anything about it.

>How long have you two been together? This shouldn't be an uncomfortable conversation.
It wasn't. Gf basically stated that she'd be perfectly fine with watching the two of us having sex as well.

I guess my main problem is not quite knowing how gf's best friend is handling this long term. Hence keeping low profile about it. I'll be sure to mention it though the next time we have time to talk a little more intimate.

Thanks a 4chan discovered by a girl he was speaking of the angels was a catfish

step two weeks ago that I felt a little sad and thoughtful about who he was, I delete your facebook I get off kik

but I knew that was not the girl she said and always appreciate to 4chan for opening my eyes because I was thinking of going to live with her

And I have questions I can not answer as if it was male or female? I think it was a woman because she spoke with her by phone

and I followed his game because she seemed very vulnerable and suffered from anxiety attacks and ezquizofrenia

I have to accept that person ever helped me with money even solve problems in my head and always em in my personal support my family concerned at poryextos

this is weird ... but seeing your photos 4chan first thought it was is dead and is not claiming to be

THANK YOU FOREVER 4CHAN

>>23617375
>The day after she said stuff like "[...]next time, I'm gonna return the favor!", but when I recently tested the waters she didn't say anything about it.

What did she mean by returning the favor?
How did you "test the waters"?

I mean, sounds like it's mostly under control and you're just a bit nervous. Oh well, I'm sure you'll be fine, enjoy it while you can, that's a pretty great situation you have there

>>23617454
>What did she mean by returning the favor?
My gf left some pretty nasty bite marks on hee body.

Was a funny combination: gf's a biter, best friend's a scratcher, I got the best of both.

>How did you "test the waters"?
We talked about how we'd kinda lost contact prior to the threesome and I mentioned that I wouldn't mind if it happened again, but am considering it a one time thing for the moment. No reaction on that.

>I mean, sounds like it's mostly under control and you're just a bit nervous.
Yes, kinda. I really don't wanna fuck up the friendship we have, because I enjoy being around her either way.

>Oh well, I'm sure you'll be fine, enjoy it while you can, that's a pretty great situation you have there
Thanks, anon!

>>23617472
>I mentioned that I wouldn't mind if it happened again, but am considering it a one time thing for the moment

Aww dude, you goofed. Preemptively shot yourself down.

Oh well, if you guys are all friends just keep hanging out and it'll happen again, keep it flirty and fun and for the love of god don't ever hint that you don't think it should happen again. Just make it a fun natural part of your friendship, they are both into each other so this should be the easiest thing in the world.

>>23617486
>Aww dude, you goofed. Preemptively shot yourself down.
Out of curiosity: what would you have done?

Also, keep in mind that I'm only giving you the gist of it here. Can't remember what I said exactly.

>Oh well, if you guys are all friends just keep hanging out and it'll happen again, keep it flirty and fun and for the love of god don't ever hint that you don't think it should happen again. Just make it a fun natural part of your friendship, they are both into each other so this should be the easiest thing in the world.
I'll give it a try. And if it happens again, I'll be sure to enjoy it either way.

Depressed & secretly jealous of people with fucked up pasts because I feel like I have no reason to be so depressed when I haven't even gone through any trauma. I've had people say they think I was sexually abused because of the way I shut down and my massive sexual anxiety , I secretly wish I was so I had a reason for the way I am and would get sympathy

My ex boyfriend raped me but I am too afraid/ashamed to tell anyone I actually know. Besides, who is going to believe me? He was my boyfriend afterall.

>>23617519
well it's hard to say cause I wasn't there having your conversation but I definitely wouldn't have said I considered it a one time thing especially when she had hinted at wanting more. Would have just been natural and talked about what we enjoyed about it. "It was hot seeing GF going nuts on you" etc whatever.

At some point in middle school I gave up on relationships and focused on my career instead. Now I'm 25 with my dream job and enough money to retire, but I'm a virgin without any relationship experience.

Most the time I'm happy with my decision. Other times I want to drive out into the desert and light myself on fire so that one burning, desolate waste can be with another.

>>23617545
>well it's hard to say cause I wasn't there having your conversation but I definitely wouldn't have said I considered it a one time thing especially when she had hinted at wanting more.
Well, I attributed that to banter/afterglow, only started thinking about the implications later.
>Would have just been natural and talked about what we enjoyed about it. "It was hot seeing GF going nuts on you" etc whatever.
I wasn't awkward about it, but our talk was a tad too deep for that. Would've done so otherwise.

>>23617553
>the story of my life
I'm borderline gifted (140 iq according to a random test i put medium effort when i was 16) and have good self confidence. I basically set medium to short term life objectives and try to accomplish them, and i've been able to do EVERYTHING i wanted except getting me girls. I'm almost 22 and only girls i've kissed where the ones that right out kissed me when i was smashed at clubs. I feel like i'm too shy/passive/over-polite and it's getting in my head really hard. Any advice?

PD: The dilemma gets way more complex but tried to not go full walltext unless someone wants me to develop.

>>23617538
People get raped in relationships a lot more often than you think. If it's bothering you, I'd start by going to see a therapist or counselor or whatever. They'll believe you, let you rant and help you through it.

I'm so attracted to my best friends 14 y/o daughter.. Can't help it, she's too hot. She purposely wears skimpy clothes and bends over or leans forward to show her cleavage. I can't take it anymore. I'm tired of pretending like I don't notice her.

>>23617672
I doubt she does that one purpose.

>>23611072
Maybe you're barking up the wrong tree.. I'm sure a big fat guy would make you his bottom bitch

>>23617672
Yeah I think you're imagining things man? That's gross.

>>23612264
ask her if she wants to do something after gaming

>>23613407
just ask. If the guys into it he'll say yes, if not he'll probably just laugh it off.

>>23613402
Bipolar here. I've never had to deal with voices, but I do understand a lot about how you're feeling and have a lot of experience with the medical health system.

You're not wrong to be afraid of not being in control, but you absolutely need to recognize that right now you aren't in control and probably haven't been for a long time. You're at the mercy of the illness right now and you need to face the fact that without treatment your life is subject to whatever your illness decides to do to you. It's a very good thing that you recognize that you have delusions, because many of us that have them can't tell until we get the proper treatment. I certainly never realized how weird it was when I was suddenly crying on a friend's couch, flipped off my favorite teacher in middle school while having a panic attack, started drawing on the white board in the middle of class, drawing swastikas on assignments that I would have to turn in, thought people were conspiring behind my back, all kinds of behavior that was totally uncharacteristic of me and now it's only years later that I can recognize that I wasn't in control of myself at those times.

You need to do something right now, because you don't know when things are going to get worse, and they will. Some day things will happen that you can't tell apart from reality, just like I couldn't tell that the emotions I was feeling were the product of my illness. Those guys downtown wearing five coats, pushing a shopping cart, and talking to the Devil? That is what happens to those of us that don't get help, and it will probably happen to you if you do nothing. Find a therapist, go to the hospital, anybody who can help you or point you in the right direction.

>>23618083
The health system is not an adversary, and it certainly isn't anything like in movies. I've been in inpatient care, and it's anything but bad. There will be a gym, decent food, all kinds of therapy sessions, and if you go to one like I was in, it doesn't feel at all like being locked up. They can't keep you there if you don't agree to it, unless of course you do something really stupid. Don't be afraid of medication, especially with a condition like the one you seem to have. Serious Illnesses like bipolar and schizophrenia need to be treated with medication, so don't believe the naturopaths, chemophobes, and "mental health survivors." There are lots of medications out there, and there are new ones coming out all the time, many of which have very mild side effects. And it WILL take time to find the right medications for you. Don't pussy out and stop taking your pills because you don't "feel right" on them. You don't know what it means to feel right because you haven't felt right for years. Give the meds a chance to work, and if something is really wrong, tell your psychiatrist, and trust what they have to say.

Im addicted to making people fall in love with me. Right now I have 5 different online relationships going on. Each of these women love me and want to be with me. I give them levels of emotional fulfillment that no one else has ever given them. I dont want to hurt them, because the joy I get from thier affection and love is the only thing that keeps me going on a day to day basis. My irl GF doesnt even have a clue. I cant stop.

I recently broke up with this girl who emotionally abused me. But niw we are just friends and everything between us seems nice, the only problem is I still want to be with her, or at least tell her that I still love her.

What do?

>>23618174
you shouldnt be next to someone that hurts you on a daily basis.

>>23618159

Wow, how do you have the time ?

>>23615193
I will talk to her... just not quite yet. I don't want to put any more pressure on her or make it more difficult than it is already, they only broke up a fortnight ago. Although the longer I keep to myself the more I think it's all fucking stupid and pathetic and I should just politely disappear. It's not like a relationship between us is going to work out now.

And yeah... it's just every time I see her we get on really well and naturally have interesting and honest conversations. There's not any like, sexual tension to it but she's too sort of wholesome and nice and we've known each other for too long for that to happen now anyway. I just wish I'd been in a fulfilling relationship with her all this time.

>>23615348
I mean, same, to a lot of that, but I guess no-one gives a shit.

>>23615694
That's tough. I really don't know what to say but keep believing you can overcome each obstacle. One day at a time and all that. I guess.

>>23616113
Do you have friends there? Or when you make friends there, they could support and protect you somehow? That's a real shitty situation but I feel like you can't let him stop you doing something important in your life.

>>23616183
Like as far as meeting people goes I think you just have to do the stuff that you yourself are really interested in, but it's certainly difficult to stay like, open to other people.

>>23617224
Internet hug

>>23617413
Err... what?

>>23617526
Agh I get you. But like, please remember that makes your situation no less legitimate.

>>23618083
>>23618158
This is really good advice. Thanks for taking the time to write this.

>>23611072
learn to finger drum

>>23612255
>>23612262
>>23612280
fucking degenerates stop fucking men who shove things up their asses, they don't want you, don't fool yourselves

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I have extreme fear of meeting new people. This is due years of emotional and psychical abuse from my mother.

I've been trying to improve myself since I just recently found work and i'm currently living with my dad, but I still sometimes have panic attacks whenever I enter a Skype call with another person.

This was a lot more than text that I anticipated, so I guess its a two part shitpost!

I used to be pansexual but now I'm not so sure. I feel like I am, but I dont feel attracted to the same sex as I used to. I swipe left on guys a whole lot more often than I do on girls. I feel almost as if its because I'm suppressing my feelings.

I imagine this is because I was outed by my sister at a family function coming up to a year ago. Before I go into this properly, I need to explain a few things. I am currently 18 coming 19 in a month roughly, my eldest siblings are in their 40's and my next eldest sibling is in his 30s. My parents are both previously devoiced and my siblings are from previous marriages. I was born after they had divorced their previous partners which resulted in me being born rather late in their lives. One of my brothers and my sister have kids around my age, making them my nieces and nephews, but I treated them as my cousins.

As I said, I was outed by my sister to my dads side of my family. She found out from her son. I had told him two years previously, but he attempted to use it to blackmail me. Thankfully that got shut down rather quickly. But since that event, I've felt more cautious around my sexuality. I told it to very few people after that. But now, half of my fucking family knows without me wanting them to, but I digress.
After my sister outed me, I've deliberately had very little contact with that side of my family due to that being the final straw (there were many other trespasses, but those aren’t interesting). My mum caught on to this and asked me why I didn’t want to have anything to do with them. I ended up having to tell her the entire story. This wasn’t too bad, but it still irks me, as I feel I've been forced into coming out sooner than I wanted to.

End of part one.

>>23618648
Beginning of part two.

Better still is the fact that she and my brother from her side of the family (who I'm on proper terms with, as opposed to the lack of trust I now feel with my other siblings) think I should tell my father about my sexuality.
They think that if I leave it too long before telling my dad, he'll feel hurt and alienated that I didnt tell him sooner. Which is probably true. But I'm still afraid to tell him.
The main reason being that I fear that he wont be accepting of it. He used to be extremely Christian, thus homophobic, but he isn’t so much anymore. He was also raped when he was around my age, so I fear that that may have fed into his homophobia and I wouldn’t be surprised if he still hates homosexuality. So if I tell him, he'll basically disown me.

On the other hand, if I put off telling him and he doesn’t want to disown me when I tell him, he'll still feel hurt that I didn’t tell him sooner.

I feel that I've lost control of this particular part of my life, one that I feel I should have absolute control over. I now wish I didn’t tell a fucking soul.


Moving on, I fell like due to these events, I may have subconsciously suppressed my "gay" side, and I hate that. I feel like I'm lying to myself, but also lying to others. I want it back, but I don't know how to get it back.
Sorry for the wall of text, it is a rant thread after all.

>>23611072
Get a job that isnt so shitty, work out ALOT non fagshit lose weight, the confidence will come so will everything else.

I browse 4chan

In june when my health insurance expires and I cant afford healthcare on my deadend job, I'm going to tell my friends and family I'm changing my name and traveling the world... but really I'm tying a cinderblock to my ankle and asphyxiating myself with nitrox while i unconsciously suffocate at the bottom of a lake.

I'm a virgin and 29. I've never been on a date. Everyday I wake up and find myself propelled closer and closer towards wizardom. I don't want this, but all my attempts to even get a single date have failed. I'm currently using a dating app and everyday I hit the like button on these girls and radio silence. Honestly I don't blame them. Not sure what Bagel meets Coffee sees in me, but it keeps pairing me up with girls who doctorates and master degrees with fancy sounding jobs and to top it all off, they are all attractive. I have a BA and am currently in a dead end job pushing paper from point A to point B. Plus I'm average looking at best. I'm starting to give up hope. I don't know what to do.

>>23617538
If he raped you, the chances are he has raped someone else and will continue to do so. Please tell someone. Check out the RAINN hotlines. There are anonymous, free support systems by phone and online. You need to seek help, for your own well being. Rape is rape, whether outside or inside the sanctity of marriage or relationship or not. It's not your fault.

>>23616118
I haven't had it from my wife in 3 months, and she's a terrible lay. I love her to death, but the temptation to go and find something on the side is pretty high right now.

Thankfully I'm a goblin who gets by on personality instead of looks.

>>23619598
If you are American you can get obamacare. Don't kill yourself because of a lack of health insurance.

Could somebody just, idk, talk, comfort me? I just got out of a three year relationship and I'm four whiskey & cokes in and I can't handle this I'm crying and idk nothing helps holy shit this is weird.

>>23617224
You don't need a reason. Depression is scary shit... Sometimes caused by nutrition issues or other chemical/hormone imbalances. Can you talk to a doc?

>>23611471
>>23611864
>>23617312

thanks for the words friends. and yeah i do have my love, tongue, and fingers i could use.. i've been wanting to use my tongue on a nice girl real bad lately.. want someone to teach me to be good at it. i like to please people.

im trying to hang in there.. im still working out and soon my diet will be decent and i can further my transformation..

>>23619664
its not just that, its what I need health insurance for, and how I got to be in this situation - that I can no longer live with.

I dont want to prolong my survival, because i died a long time ago.

>>23619656
Will she talk about it with you? Does she believe that sex is an important part of a marriage? If she loves you, she'll be open to creating a better sex life with you. It takes work (and open communication) but some couples do get out of the "dead bedroom" situation without resorting to cheating or polyamory. There's a book by Esther Perel... Can't remember title, but it looks at all the reasons why sex within marriages fails or goes stale and how some (not all) couples can get to an equitable, more erotic life together

>>23618267
This isn't going to replace therapy, but one tactic is essentially "cold shower therapy" ... Get your most loathed and feared thing out of the way every day. Get in the practice of forcing yourself to meet someone new everyday, even if it's at the store, or cold calling someone over the phone. It sucks and will continue to suck until you realize the consequences aren't nearly as bad as you think they might be... Good luck. I hope you are free from your mother's abuse by not living with her

>>23619562
>browsing and responding on 4chan
this is my secret shame, too

I've really getting into sissy porn and eventually I wanted to get buttsex, be dominated etc. But I got a girlfriend who is really nice (not really sexy, but I love her) and she hates the idea of me having sex with other people.
I understand her and I know I'd hurt her, but I keep thinking about it.
I already fucked two dudes (with condoms ofc) and I fucking loved it; sometimes I see ads that really get my attention, I reply and then pretend nothing happened. Guilt, probably.
And no, a strapon is not at all like a man's cock. I already tried both.

My girlfriend left me today. A week ago, completely out of the blue, she told me she thought we needed a break, and now today she officially ended it. I thought I was going to be okay, but I'm not.

I know it sounds cliche as fuck, but this girl was really something special to me. The past few years of my life have been very difficult, but when I met her everything instantly became so much better and so much easier to manage. A number of unfortunate things have happened to me over the last year and I've found myself in a tough spot both financially and in my career. My future has been very up in the air because of all this and I've been living with tons of anxiety daily. She's been my rock and I've often wondered where I'd be without her. Well, I guess I'm going to find out now.

She told me that she felt like she was limiting herself by being in a relationship - that she's considering going back to school out of state, possibly looking for a new job in a new city, and couldn't do any of that with me to think about as well. I get it. That's valid I guess. But it still really fucking sucks.

My family lives on the other side of the country, because of my work I have very little times to make and hang out with friends in my city, I have no idea day to day if I'm even going to have enough money to pay for what have become overwhelming expenses in my life, my neurosis and anxieties about my responsibilities are getting worse and digging me deeper and deeper into a pit, and now the one person that made dealing with all of that worthwhile is gone.

I really don't know what to do.

>>23619991
I'm sorry, anon. I can hear the anxiety, hurt and despair in your post. Logically, you can accept that it may be best for you two to separate, but it still sucks. She became your sole source for empathy and comfort as unfortunate events happened in your life, so naturally you feel helpless.

I know a post alone won't give you hope or make you feel better, but I can remind you that you do have options. You can figure out what expenses to get rid of. You can figure out whether or not to try to keep the current job you have. You can choose whether you want to make time for meeting and making friends (even if your performance at work takes a hit).

Remember that you always have options.

And remember that you can't mitigate or plan against every shitty situation in life, so just play the hell out of the hand you were dealt.

you're going to come out of this great- perhaps even better than if your gf had stayed with you as your "rock". now you get to test and see how resilient you are, and no one will be able to take that away from you.

I'm not saying it won't suck, but you're starting in the right direction. Get anonymous or 3rd party support (not a friend or family member). They won't solve your anxieties and problems, but they can listen without judging and can remind you that taking care of yourself is important, that you have options, etc.

>>23619664
Obamacare has higher co pays than private health insurance. It didn't solve shit.

>>23617672
Remove yourself from the situation immediately

been cutting as a coping mechanism for depression/anxiety episodes for twelve years now. scars mostly on thighs so nobody really knows unless i'm in a bikini or having sex. wish i could fucking stop... but i've been doing it for so god damn long my mind immediately jumps to it.

>>23620198
I used to be like this with jacking off. One day I decided to stop.

The first day was extremely hard. Literally and figuratively. I was so goddamn horny that I stayed up until 3 AM. The second day was so much easier, then third, the fourth, fifth, sixth and eventually I got to 1 month without jacking off. The hardest step is the first day.

>>23617553
what really bugs you? Being a virgin? Or not having been in a meaningful relationship?

the reason I ask is because if it's being a virgin, you can fix that easily. If you want a relationship (and hot sex that can be a part of a good relationship), then sorry to say it's going to take time and effort... To get to know someone else, to know what you like and what someone else likes, etc.

relationships (including platonic friendships) take effort... Some phases are extremely time consuming and unselfish. But the reward can be worth it if you decide it's worth the risk.

>>23620198
try replacing it with something. bring a pad and pen with you and doodle... draw lines, make deep scores in the paper, something to take your mind off of it

>>23620254
you're an idiot. this is an ingrained coping mechanism for mental illness, not a fun little thing to do with your genitals. get fucked

Need to vent this out, feel free to ignore.
Serious case of oneitis. She was my first real friend, first person that actually liked me. I didn't know she liked me until it was too late, and she started liking somebody else. I thought it would be fine, that I could still be friends with her, and talk to her and hopefully she'll have those feelings resurface for me again. Instead, we talk less, we hang out less, we see each other less. I stopped talking to all of my friends, I stopped going to club activities, I stopped pursuing a future for myself because I'm too blinded by pursuing a future with her. I know she doesn't have feelings for me anymore, I understand and accept that. I understand and accept that she won't have feelings for me anymore. She's finding happiness in her life while I just throw myself into the darkness more and more.

>>23620292
Why do you think I was addicted to jacking off? I used to have severe social anxiety and had no friends. I actually broke down crying after just trying to talk to a random person.

>>23620306
Just let her go. True love doesn't exist.

>>23612694
You need to GTFO of that house, ASAP.
Find anywhere to live but with your rapist. start with a local safe house if you have no other options. Tell someone what happened. Anonymous forums are great if they help you find your voice, but you can't get through this alone- and you are not alone.

You deserve to be listened to. You deserve to get help. You deserve to get your life back- one which doesn't involve keeping secrets about your abuser who is related to you and lives with you.

>>23620316
Trying my hardest to let her go, I forgot to mention that I was the one that started to grow distant from her, in attempts to forget about her. Knowing that absence makes the heart grow fonder I soldiered on and kept avoiding her. It seems to be working, but there's just these nights every now and then where all the feeling, nostalgia, regret, and pain surge into me all at once, and I can't recover from it in time until the next night like that happens. I'm kind of stuck in a cycle I guess

>>23612116
>Like we don't have any other huge issues or anything, it's just that he's always making excuses to not have sex

Uh no... That IS a huge issue. You deserve to be with someone who loves you and wants to fuck your brains out. He's either a selfish prick or just not sexually attracted to you or insecure about something... I don't know the actual stated or unstated reason(s), but you deserve to feel desired and to be pleasured by your bf.

>>23620350
You need someone else

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I found this cute girl on plebcupid and tried talking to her about common intrests. Just after she posts the first reply back I tell her that she's way too cute. I didn't get a response for a few hours, so I thought I fucked up. I sent another reply that said "Sorry, I think I came on too strong. Can I get a do over?" She didn't have a problem with it and we kept talking.

I don't really think that it's an amazing feat, I just think it's neat that I bounced right back on that one without making it worse.

What do women like for first dates? Bowling? Carnivals?

Just venting about being hypersensitive to touch, sound, and smell. I hate having to shake hands or hug. Most smells (even things like a banana from 10 ft away) are offensive. Restaurant ambient noise and shrill female voices make my ears hurt and ring.

I can deal with it, but I get a huge headache at the end of the day, pretending that those annoyances don't bug me. I just wish I could selectively shut off or turn down my nose and ears and skin nerves sometimes. (earplugs, face mask and gloves are not parts of a socially accepted wardrobe when worn simultaneously)

I'm married with kids and middle aged. I failed at my dream and now am killing myself with food...

>>23620617
what was it? could you return to it in some capacity?

I have trust issues.

For most of my life, I'be heard from family and friends how i'm either an idiot or that i'm useless. I've dealt with this for years, hearing it hurts mostly from my family when they insult me about how I look, talk, or act around them. I would hear from my mother that I'm either too fat or too stupid to grasp why everyone excludes me from discussions. The same would come from my sister and my father. When confronted about this, they would lie and say it was all in my head that they would say things like, "I wish you were an abortion," or "If you weren't born, we'd be better off by now."

Hearing this throughout my life, hearing friends tell me that i'm useless or stupid, telling me no one would want me, these things take a tole on your psyche. I've only had 3 girlfriends in my life, they cheated on me despite me being supportive, loving, and caring to them. The last relationship hurt the most as she lied about cheating on me and lead me on the most. Since her, I haven't had sex in nearly 12 years. I've tried asking girls out, tried dating sites, singles sites for hook ups, everything, just wanting a physical and emotional connection. But each time I get close to anyone, I start to question myself, am I good enough, do they really care about me, are they using me, are they laughing at me, how do I know they really want me.

I'm getting close to my wits end. I want companionship, love, affection, things I see everyone else having, even the misery I would welcome because it's still part of a connection with a person. But each year passes, and I start to look at my dad's old shotgun and realize, I'd probably be better off with a slug through the head than deal with rejection and fear and the loneliness eating away at me.

>>23620580
what would happen if u got ur dick sucked lmao

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My life is generally great. I have friends, a job, in my 3rd year of university, and a loving family. However, especially lately, all of this is being overshadowed by the fucking fact that I've never EVER been in a legit relationship, I've never been kissed, and obviously never had sex. This one negative factor in my life seems to be drowning everything else out in my life. Now, I know what you're thinking: "oh its not a big deal stop fucking complaining ur life sounds awesome blablabla."

Well, at the moment it's not. All I want at this time is to be happy with someone and love them and they'll love me back. It is a big deal for me, and it even breaks my heart to see happy couples in the street holding hands, laughing and kissing. My face will instantly turn sour, it's fucking horrible being this jealous.

Now, there is a girl in my class that I've talked to a couple of times and I really like her. This week may be make or break; if I am too much of a chicken to initiate anything, I will still have this dreaded feeling. If I do say something, I have the chance of being rejected. Whether this last feeling overpowers me or not, will decide a lot of things, for me personally. One part of me is going, "don't be a little bitch, just ask her for coffee you pussy!" and another is going "if she says I'm not interested you'll feel worse than before." So I guess, at the end of the day, I'll still be in this shithouse limbo that I've been in for several years.

Sorry for this blog type post, but fucking hell I had to let this out somewhere, and this is the perfect place because it's anonymous. Thanks for reading, I guess.

>>23620748
think about the amount of guys that hit on her on a daily basis, then think about what it means to them when they get rejected. prolly nothing they're dogs lol. U are living in fear u gotta get rid of it! you know a lot about yourself, but do you know who you are! What do you like? what are you afraid of? what is the one that that also doenst change about you besides the fact that you're a virgin? is there a correlation between those? if you just want a companion then start small. just be someone she can trust first, and always see yourself as equal to her, not under and not above. you will both get what you need/want. especially if that they are the same

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>>23620765
She doesn't get hit on much/at all, I've never once seen it. That's why I think I have a good shot. I have never done this before though, and I have to find a good moment/not rush it/not force it etc. You know.

I went through this scenario in highschool maybe 4-5 times? I didn't do anything then because everyone there was a fuckwit, and everyone would have known if I had asked someone. Maybe this has translated over to uni, where none of that shit will happen at all, I know, but that irrational fear still lingers.

She is fairly similar to me, and atm being virgin isn't really what's affecting me; I'd just like someone to love, and they love me back. It's not about seeing things as equal; I have no issue with that but it's just that rejection thing. I really have to say to myself in my head, "fuck it", before I do anything. It may end badly, but at least I will have tried. I just go in wanting a yes, and I will like cry if I don't get it the way I want. Being desperate and stuff doesn't exactly help either, I wish I could get rid of that, but eh.

>>23620796
i look at it like this, theres people out there that always win, always get wht they want. but if they never lose, they won't grow. if you want to grow, you have to suffer a little bit. you can't wear your heart on your sleeve unless its worth showing off. we all have hearts of gold, polish yours so that it shines! if you are sincere with this girl without making it seem like shes the ONLY thing that can make you happy, she'll feel comfortable.

you dont want her to feel pressured or that you only want one thing from her. cuz you don't, but its that one thing that feels like a hump you gotta get over. and it will bring your confidence up once you do it, but you gotta build it up like a ramp so u can jump over the hump. don't doubt yourself or your feelings. you like her, let her know that you want to be friends. "hey we're friends right? cuz i like you we should hang out" maybe not exaclty those words but it should be casual not rushed or forced. If you're daring u can go with some "i can't wait until next class to see you, we should hang out or whatever idk" just dont doubt yourself girls can smell confidence its usually all they check for at first.

>>23611127
Sound like my ex

>>23612214
Don't cheat, break up, have some time for yourself, learn to love yourself and move on

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I'm fairly religious and have long held on to the idea of saving myself for my wife. Despite that I'm still insecure about being a virgin because I know that there's basically zero girls who feel the same way, religious or not. At 17 sure, but by 25 of course not. But then I tell myself it matters to me and to God and just because girls are sluts doesn't mean I have to be.

On a small message board for one of my hobbies there's this older obese woman who desperately wants my dick and has been nagging nonstop about me coming to visit her once I told her my hometown is an hour away from where she lives. She's gross and basic. But it's pussy and it might help my insecurity. But I will probably regret it.

I don't know. When I fly home for Thanksgiving this year (I know I'm already thinking months ahead of time here) she's gonna want to fuck. I don't really want to but no one else has ever shown interest in me, ever.

>>23620632
Musician

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>>23611127

I'm the type of guy who prides himself on masculinity. I grew up in a very Australian male dominant household. I'm extremely fit, kinda a pretty boy face and a decent personality. My friends have always looked at me like the guys guy, the one who would hate anything gay or somewhat homosexual. Yet on the inside, I'm strongly bisexual. I've slept with fair few guys and dream of big dick. Yet this manly man, can't find the courage to tell his friends that their perception of me is utterly wrong. I'm a man, who likes to be fucked like a slutty girl.

>>23612116
I ve been that kind of bf for a while. Took me way too long to understand i just waited for a reason to break up, partly because of fear of being alone.

Ended up dumping the gf as i was moving out.

My advice ? Dump him right now. Neither him not my former self deserved more time in this relathionship, nor do you deserve to be treated like a toy he has lost interest in.

I've been raped as a child, and had homo sex once later on, it makes me hate myself and gays

>>23620899
Dude, as a guy that was in your position before, I can guarantee that there's really nothing special about losing your virginity. You masturbate, right?

It's like that, but with someone else.

If this chick disgusts you, you don't find her attractive at all, and she just doesn't take care of herself, then don't. At best, you might get your rocks off... if you can get it up with her at all. At worst, she's going to be carrying your kid and you might get stuck with her in a relationship that you absolutely did not want. Some people are like that; be really careful who you keep as company, especially as a partner.

I used to be a very frustrated virgin, but I met a cute girl at college that happened to be a 'very social'. Honestly, it's not like you have a sudden revelation or anything. It's just having an orgasm with someone else. Yes, it feels great, but it's not an eye opening experience. Society hypes up sex way too much.

Point is, don't do something you may regret forever. You should have sex with someone you enjoy being around.

I have some problems, but I always hide them from medical professionals. I have very strong, unjustified paranoia and I'm aware of it, though I cannot stop the anxiety it provokes. I also recently found out that I'm bipolar, which I am receiving medication for, but the paranoia is really what's troubling me.

I know it's irrational. For example, when I used to work a stocking job at a grocery store, we had cheap, clip-on badges that we were required to wear on our uniforms. I was under the impression that they all had small microphones embedded inside of them that allowed my bosses to monitor our conversations and dole out punishment accordingly. I thought they could store conversations via a small flash memory chip away from work, and, because the job severely hurt me to the point of agony to perform due to some unknown physical reason (which I've seen many doctors for but no cause has yet been determined), I used to scream at my ID badge about how much I hated hurting myself at this job (bosses would be smiling at me the next day). For the first few weeks, I wrapped the badge in thick cloths and stuffed it in a safe to muffle out any conversations it might pick up. Later, I placed it between two books and pounded on it with a rubber mallet. After that, I microwaved it for a few seconds at a time to finally destroy the 'chips' once and for all (to prevent it from warping and exposing that I had destroyed the elusive technology). The entire time, I knew there wasn't a microphone inside of it, but at the same time, I couldn't take the risk of there being one. It would expose my double-life actions and possibly trickle back to my Uncle, who was fishing for any reason to kick me out of his house.

I've had many other examples of this paranoia, but I don't want to report it because I fear that they'll slap me with a 'disorder' and take away some of my rights. I also fear they may start monitoring my Internet traffic if I get such a label.

I feel scared posting this.

My fucking flat mate is killing me. I moved into my new house last year at some point with 2 friends from uni and then a random couple our age from a rent site. Long story short from the 8 months we've been in the house, the guy in the relationship and I have clicked - more so than his current partner. He keeps pushing the boundaries of what's okay. Touching parts of my body, winking at me when no one is looking, grabbed my hand in the middle of the road. At first I thought he was just being his normal ass hole self. Until one night he straight up grabbed my ass. Regardless of eventual confrontation, where he said he saw me nothing more as a friend, the endless sexual tension is draining me. Help. I want out.

TLDR: flat mate in a relationship keeps giving me mixed signals and even though I want to destroy him I have to kill the emotions with the fire of 1000 sun's. Help?

>>23621343
You might have a personality disorder. It's very common that people with mental illnesses have more than one problem, and I've had some problems with paranoia (scared to use a smart phone, can't make new friends because I don't trust others, everybody is laughing at me, etc) Don't be afraid of people finding out about your behavior and persecuting you, because I have a feeling people are already getting an inkling of how weird you're being because trust me, you aren't being as subtle as you think you are. If you have a therapist, and he's a good one, he can probably tell that you're hiding your problems and is very worried about you. Try to develop a stronger relationship with them, because you need someone you can trust.

I love my fiancée completely. Having said this, my fiancée not wanting kids kills me inside every day.

I feel like I have to say goodbye to someone I love that I've never met.

>>23621442
I'm 20 years old and been in a relationship with a great guy for 2 years. He's certain he wants kids but I hate the thought of having them. Been that way since I was a kid myself.

With the experience you have, do you think it's better for him if we broke up before it gets too serious? I mean it is already serious but we don't live together or anything. I would love to spend the rest of my life with him, but I don't want him to regret it or feel like he's missing out all his life.

>>23621489
Yes. Cut his dreams down while he can still achieve them.

>>23612694
Get out of that house and find support. You deserve better than this.

>>23610970
Everything is falling apart and I have no idea what the fuck is going on. The more I sit in this room the more I realize I'll never be like other people. I'll never have healthy friendships, I'll never have a great career, I'll never have healthy relationships, I'll never look good, I'll never feel good, I'll never give a fuck about anything other than myself. I'm just a sad, depressive narcissist, angry with the world because my sense of entitlement makes me feel disgusting when I realize how little I am respected or cared for at all. I am just a manipulative, sad, lying, two faced, cunning, cunt piece of shit and I fucking hate myself because I love myself too much. Just fucking end my miserable existence.

Thanks.

>>23615480
It's never too late, people come out as trans even after their fifties or sixties! Good luck.

21/m with 22/f gf. Love her to death, but I desperately want to have a threesome with a dominant female partner. The idea of the both of us being subservient to a female dominant is honestly my deepest, darkest desire. My gf's been really indulgent of kink, and we enjoy it together, and I really think she'd enjoy it in the moment, but I don't think our relationship could handle that kind of experience.

>>23621537
Then don't risk it.

>>23610970
I have no idea how to be gay and fat. I am not interested in older men or any fetish subculture. I just want a normal bf, don't mind if they are fat but not like TLC my 600lb life fat, and I can't find a thing because I dropped out of college so nobody takes me seriously.

>>23621504
I'm not sure what you mean by that, sounds like you're saying I should destroy his dreams while he can still achieve them. Still learning english..

>>23610970
I'm pretty much broken in multiple ways.

My OCD, depression and anxiety are all crippling in their own rights, stopping me from doing anything.

I have no friends because all previously existing friendships either just drifted apart or my being so fucked up caused me to lash out at them or take things too personally.

The one relationship I've ever had I fucked up.

Basically, I just want to die at this point.

I'm only saying that because if someone wants kids, more often than not it's a long rooted dream. Those are the worst to see slowly get shattered.
Not only because it affects him, but you as well. Tension will rise over time, you'll fight, eventually you'll hate each other and one (or both) of you will cheat to get what you want.

>>23621489
>>23621558

I love my partner. I would stick around if she never does, the issue is she may need surgery at some point that will remove any chance due to her extremely bad periods which are crippling. I have raised my little sister when she was a newborn while I was 16 due to family circumstance. I have had to drop out of school but I watched her grow and become a god damn saint of a child and at seven she's got more compassion and altruism in her than most people I've ever met in my life. I believe with my whole heart I can make it work, that I can still achieve my own personal goals as well as hers while the possibility of a child/family comes into play. I won't be thinking of cars or money when I'm on my death bed and dying, I want to leave behind my legacy and continue my genes to offer someone truly good back to the world and I want that person to have my partners features. I can't speak for you on leaving him, I love her and would stay, that doesn't mean I wouldn't wonder what if, but I would stay. Extract your own wisdom from this, and I wish you and your partner come to some mutual understanding or conclusion that is both good for you.

The reason I don't talk much about my personal life/hobbies at work is because my hobby is erotic roleplaying.

I don't think it would fly well among my friends and coworkers if I told them that I spent most of my evenings and weekends looking for people to typefuck and fulfill fantasies that are not possible in real life.

>>23621423
Well, using one of the latest smart phones... I'd say that you may have justification to worry. I know for a fact that they transmit GPS information constantly and can be re-enabled without your knowledge (I'm a bit of a tech guy, I have done this remotely to my own phone before as a test), so don't do anything that people would like to find you over.

But I hear you. I haven't made almost any friends in years besides a few co-workers (I don't hang with them after work ever; I just never feel like it). You'd be surprised how well I can hide it; nobody could even pick up on my bipolar, even while manic. The paranoia, maybe, but I only share some of those views with close friends/family... besides that one I just shared with a whole bunch of Anons.

I only feel like I vent or show my true self in private... really, my whole life has been a double-life. I've been hiding secrets and 'unacceptable interests' since I was 14.

Thank you for not judging me harshly. I wish I could find a good therapist/psychologist (the incredible one I had moved to another state; he was one of few people I probably would have talked to). Therapy would probably help if I could open up about all of this. I just don't want to get officially labeled as 'mentally defective'.

>>23620152
Thanks anon. That really helped.

>>23620748
How close are you with this girl, friendship wise? A lot of times the best way to get things going with someone is to do it naturally and organically through friendship first. If you guys become friendly, joke around in class, study together, text once in awhile, it's a lot easier to say, "hey a couple of my friends and i are going out for drinks tonight, wanna join?" than it is to just out of the blue hit up someone you're only somewhat acquainted with and drop the "want to go get coffee?" on them. Being friendly first gives them the opportunity to come to the conclusion of being interested in you first themselves, rather than having to decide it on the spot when a stranger who they barely know asks them out.

If it doesn't end up working out with this girl, as much as you might be against it - online dating can be a good way to get your feet wet. It removes any predisposition of "who is this random dude talking to me" since everyone is there specifically to do just that. And if you match with someone you know without any shadow of a doubt that they're into you too, so there's no question of "is this person really interested in me?" It's worth a shot, especially for someone who doesn't really have much previous experience and finds it hard to get started.

I want commitment and love so much it drives people away and Im left alone.

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I've spent most my life working for financial stability and generally just focusing on my career (I'm 30). I've been with my fiancee for about 10 years now. She has been taking me for granted for years and when I told her it would be best to separate it ended up with her yelling, hitting, and spitting on my face. I kept my cool and didn't lose it on her. But for all the anger I felt, it was the betrayal that hurt the most. I did everything to make our lives comfortable (bought a house, 2 paid off cars), but she has no inclination to better herself, or at least keep a regular sex life where I'm not begging and getting shot down all the time via excuses.

I'm a bigger guy, been going to the gym doing weights (315lbs deadlift, 245 bench, 225 squat). I do have a gut, so most girls just assume I'm fat and/or lazy. I haven't dated in 10 years (been completely faithful) and the whole game has since changed. I wish I had enough confidence to just leave her, but I don't have the courage to be alone.

I've got the whole "in love with my best friend" thing going. 21/m, Junior in college. I met her through her sister when we were starting freshman year, and we just kind of clicked, I guess. Her school is about three hours away from mine, so I don't see her much, but we do make sure to meet up atleast a few times a year. We talk over text every day, to the point of me getting worried if I don't hear from her for a few days, and we skype two or three times a week if we can find the free time.

She came to visit in September, and it was a blast, but when she left after that weekend it kind of hit me that everything was just better when she was here, and I felt kind of empty the next few days without her. It just gets worse every time I see her too. We just met up yesterday for lunch, and now I'm miserable.

I didn't want things to change at first, because we are both stupidly busy with studies most of the time, and beyond that I have no idea if she likes me beyond just being a fun guy to talk to. I figured that maybe if I just let some time pass I'd get over myself, and maybe that's still true, but I feel like it's starting to turn into an obsession on my end. I've never had problems with girls, but I just don't find anyone else attractive anymore. She's really just average as far as looks go, so I know it's not some lust thing.

I don't know if it's fair to either of us if I keep pretending that she's just one of my friends, but I feel like if I tell her, I could very realistically ruin one of the best friendships I've ever had and just seem like a creep. If I don't though, I have to watch her eventually get snagged and wonder if I missed my opportunity to be with the girl that I can seriously imagine spending the rest of my life with.

If anyone's had something similar going and wants to comment, I'd appreciate it. If not, I'm just glad to finally put it out there. It's been killing me for ages and I really needed to tell someone, even if it's anonymously.

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I've been a bit sad about girls lately. I had a crush on a girl, let's call her R. R and I seem to be shooting the breeze, become decent friends, when I confide to a close female friend of mine that I like her. Li and behold, R finds out I like her. She immediately stops talking to me and she's even seen me in a halway and spun 180 degrees to avoid me. This whole situation has really taken a toll on my confidence. I know by this story it seems like I'm really ugly, but I didn't think I was bad looking before this. Where should I go from here?

>>23623622
If I were you, I would be subtle and careful about telling her. Not to fast, not too slow. I'm in the same kind of situation with a girl (close friends) who liked me at one point, but the feeling wasn't mutual. I don't flirt with her or show any of the telltale signs that I like her because I don't. If she likes you enough to contact you that much, you seem to have decent chances. In the end, I think you would regret keeping the relationship strictly platonic. Hope this works out anon

>>23610995
That sound's good to me. People who won't give you a second chance might not have deserved your time anyways.

>>23624395
Workout, change hair or other shit and go get some other pussy. forget about her, she couldnt even tell you she is not interested and try to still be friends, she is a bitch.

>>23624395
Does she have a boyfriend?

>>23624430
Fuck I forgot about this part. I found out she likes a manlet ginger who's also a skinnyfat dyel. This would be fine if he were charismatic, smart, etc. but the thing is, HE'S NOT! I'm not perfect, but this is by no means more attractive than me.

There's a girl (never met her irl) who despises me completely. Has done almost from the start since I've ran into her (someone posted her snapchat on a FB, inexplicably decided to stalk her). She's hot as f*ck and she knows it.

The only way she'll interact with me is if I'm being her bitch. I do anything she tells me because my whole body gets a kick when I see she's sent me a msg or a snap.

Sometimes she calls me on Skype just to tell me how much of a cunt I am or to laugh at me with her friends. Still do anything for her.

I love every second of it.

told my girlfriend last week that I was having doubts about our relationship. we are long distance and have been for over a year and a half and never met. by the end of the conversation I told her my mind has changed and the doubts are gone and I don't want to lose her. I lied because she told me that hearing that destroyed her and I have no fucking clue what to do now. I love her to death but at the same time she's not the right one for me and I know I'm not the one for her.

I'm sick of people only using me for sex. It feels like any time I start to have a real connection/conversation with someone (male or female) they reveal their true intentions and it bums me out every time. It's like I'm unworthy of real friendship or too ugly/boring for anyone to put effort into talking to me for anything other than getting me in bed.

It's not like I just talk about myself or anything, we talk about mutual interests or crack jokes and before I know it they're trying to get me in bed and never talk to me again.

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>>23624498
fucking same to me. Girls ddump me and ask if we can remain fuck buddy. I'm amazed to see how I'm so different of my friend in the area.

>>23624498
If you were ugly, they wouldn't want to fuck you.

>>23624489
Do you really want to live a lie, or rip off the band aid and be done with it? Tell her the truth in person.

>>23624536
weve never met. opposite sides of the country and very difficult to try and plan anything has caused us to not yet have the opportunity

>>23624545
Ok, then don't do it in person. It'd be pretty shitty if the first time you guys met, you dumped her. Just don't be to harsh and try to have some empathy.

>>23624557
true, I have this fear that when I start to do it she will do the same thing and make me feel guilty into not leaving her.

>>23624560
Don't let her do that then. You being a pussy the first time only made things worse.

>>23624572
thanks man, I gotta man up and end this. it's been fucking with me all week.

This next summer it will be 2 years since my last relationship (wich also was my very first serious one, i'm 23)
Later this month it will be a year since the last time I saw my ex-girlfriend (this is not a bad thing)


sometimes i really miss those feelings you had when you had someone on your side on such degree. That affection

Some other times it's like i forgot how that was

So far I think i'm actually doing good in life. Except the fact I feel lost, but with the intention on moving on to a bigger city by myself to start again.

My social life used to ve very crap back then, mostly dominated by a very toxic friendship i considered the best friend i got on my side, but now that I cutted contact with him like 6 months ago and going out with new, different people that are starting to know me and love me, it feels awesome


Maybe all these thoughs aren't exactly deep secrets, but i wanted to share them with someone


I haven't fell in love with anyone since the last time, 2 years ago. I don't know if this is good or what

I don't think I'm going to meet anyone.
Like I'm that weird and far gone that I have almost nothing in common with anyone.

I like tripping on drugs... occasionally. Its part of me, but not who I am. I'm not a caricature of my own drug use in the way that you meet some ravers or self-described hippies.

But I'm also not that drone that just goes to work, has kids, mows the lawn, etc. (if you live in the midwest you know what I'm talking about).

I'm not a midwestern drone, corporate shill or a drug-addled caricature. I'm just floating somewhere in some undefined space and I like where I am but... I can't seem to meet anybody.

I don't have any close friends or gf with similar desire to go on fun, sometimes trippy adventures.

My last date (~6 months ago) just kind of reinforced this. We both had a really great time but I came to realize I was just kind of navigating their own (sorry I know this isn't /pol/) but SJW sensibilities/mistrust.

I don't know how to put this...
I, myself, know to have a good time (and I've struggled for many years to get to this point)
And while she definitely did enjoy herself, I don't think she knew how to have a good time herself.

But I got the sense that she didn't really trust me all that much from this time, before, and another time I met her afterward.

...

I don't know where I'm really going with this. Maybe I just feel like a social pariah. And I have little in common with others.

I have a close friend, and I have a crush on him. Now, I feel like we've been touching each other more often, etc. recently, and today we've shared food. Is that significant? http://www.sscnet.ucla.edu/anthro/faculty/fiske/pubs/Miller_Rozin_Fiske_Food-Sharing_1998.pdf This paper says so (inb4 autism.)

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>>23624649
>>23624618
(1/2)
Let me tell you guys a story


From my childhood until I was 15, I thought my life was complete. I had lots of friends, I was very sociable, and I had good grades. But I remember when my mentality started doing a 180.
I was just listening to some music with a few people when Hooked on a Feeling by Blue Swede came on. I was listening to the lyrics and having a conversation with the group at the same time. Then the topic of first crushes came up. As everyone was sharing theirs, I had this feeling that something wasn't right. As the conversation went on, the feeling grew stronger. Right before someone asked me: "Hey, what was yours?" I realized I never felt that way about anyone. Ever. No one was ever special to me. No one I wanted to spend an absurd amount of time with, buy things for, be kind to. Nothing.
I went home and realized that this feeling also applied to my family and pets. They were just like friends to me and nothing more. I slowly realized over a course of 3 weeks that I had no affection for anyone beyond friendship.
My grades started to slip, I slowly started to be less and less social, and I had these periods where I didn't even want to go to school anymore. I felt like I was fundamentally broken. One of the most powerful things a person can feel and I couldn't do it. Almost like a colorblind person being unable to see any color.
My sadness was replaced with anger months later. I don't even remember who I was angry at, I was just always in a bad mood. By the end of junior year, I had dropped out of my AP classes, had barely any friends, and gained quite a bit of weight. That empty feeling I gained that day hadn't gone away.
Then, for some reason, I decided to start trying at life again. I picked up running as a hobby and then started lifting, my grades went back up, and I started to get that circle of friends back.

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>>23624778

>>23624649
>>23624618
(2/2)
Now that I'm 19, I still feel empty but less sad about it. I still want to feel those feelings, but I've started to give up on it. I've had multiple sexual partners, but I don't really feel anything beyond lust. No one is really that special to me.
I'm broken on the inside, but I'm not going to have a shitty life because of it

My grandfather's health is on the decline and I'm starting to think he's nearing the end. I'm torn because part of me wants to help my grandmother and aunt with whatever comes up, but I'm also stuck at college far enough away that it's just not feasible to come home often.
At school I'm stresting over classes as is. After some shitty performances and dropping a key class freshman year, I've backed myself into a corner and can't afford to drop/fail another class without having to take another year of classes to graduate, which is something neither I nor my family can afford.
I'll ignore the social "tfwnogf" stuff since that's kind of just perpetually there. I hate to complain about school - I don't want to come across as a "woe is me school is tough" Kind Of person but this is the first time that nothing feels right. The combined stress of family health and class is just weighing me down. All I want is to feel fine again

>>23624795
Nah, it's ok. Seriously though, completely fine. Just keep studying.

(1/?)
In may of 2000 I turned 18, and simply to piss my parents off, I joined the United States Marine Corps.
Little did I know that within 14 months, I would be spending the next 15 years of my life in a desert hell hole.
During my time there, I watched, or heard about nearly everyone in my life dying, becoming mutilated, captured, crippled, or committing suicide... I only have about 3 friends alive that I went to basic with, out of the nearly dozen that I became friends with.
During my time, I was responsible for the lives, and deaths of more people than I care to admit to here, or anywhere, for that matter, and the looks that dying men's faces make will haunt me till my final days. I'll never forget the first time I had to engage an enemy combatant, it came so easy, so natural, I told myself it was the training, that I was just doing my job, that I was helping... but what I tried to hide from myself, is how little I actually felt (emotionally) about what I was doing... I know that it was either them, or me (or my squad) but that doesn't change the fact that they meant so little to me, they had a gun, it was pointed in my general direction, and doing the squat shot (you'd have to see it to understand). I stopped counting how many after Fallujah, that place was a fucking dump, wrapped up in a trap, coated in shit, and placed so neatly on a plate by the brass, that we all should have seen it coming.
Daily I question how I'm still alive, considering the IED's, VBIED's Party vests, and random shooters that I encountered...
Daily I wonder why better men, more full of life than I will ever hope to be, even during my wide eyed youth were 'in the wrong place at the wrong time', or 'dumb enough to stick their head up' ended up getting their numbers pulled...
Daily I wonder if the ringing in my ears will ever stop (it won't, I know this, my brain is screaming out, pretending to hear a noise in a tone that it never will again, as long as the winds bellow in my lungs)

(2/?)
Daily I wonder why so many of my brothers, and a few of my sisters decide that the demons they faced in those days are too much to bear, and choose to pull their own numbers. At some point we all stare into the abyss, when it stares back, why do we fold, instead of just accepting that there are things inside that we cannot change....?
I often wonder how my son is doing, knowing full well that he will never know my name, or why some random guy has baby footprints tattooed over his chest, I wonder if his mother speaks ill of me just to spite me, or just fails to return my calls to drive me insane.
I regret having to engage that kid, he was angry, and upset, and I'd be too, but I hope to meet him in Valhalla (heaven, the afterlife, the next life, whatever happens to us when we die) and buy him, and his dad a drink, and hope to have a laugh or two, I meant no ill will.
I still love you Shields, you fucking blue eyed vixen, I always will. I just wish I could tell you.... but our lives followed different paths after the dust settled, and I had to go back to doing what I do best... knowing that I would do nothing but bring ruin to you. You were(are) too lighthearted to be asked to deal with a shell of a man, like me. I'm happy you finally found joy in your life, and got rid of Steve. (he was a douche anyway)

>>23624700
Are you a guy or a girl?

>>23624953
A guy.

>>23624969
Is he gay too?

I'm still hopelessly in love with my ex. But she's cut me out of her life completely. Blocked me on everything. I feel so empty, I just go through the daily motions just to get to bed. I don't know what to do.

>>23624973
Yup

>>23624976
I think that the food sharing is just a piece of companionship, but I could be wrong. Go for it, but tread lightly.

I cheated on my taxes I make 80k and only claimed 44k. It just goes to niggers anyways so, I don't feel that bad.

Is it weird that i shave virtually everywhere except my face and top of my head? I'm a guy but I don't like seeing hair all over me, maybe it's because I'm blonde, but I loooove to feel smooth and hair on arms and legs seems a little gross to me, not meaning to offend anyone

>>23625004
It also goes to schools, roads, scientific research, NASA looking for killer asteroids. You know, unimportant things.

>>23625015
Yea, fuck that I don't have kids or care about NASA.

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I've posted this before on /b.

I get off to the thought of my wife being raped, preferably right in front of me.I drugged her one night while we were at the club. It was fairly early and the club hadn't filled up yet. Took her up stairs to a drinking area above the dance floor and put her slouched down on a couch. She was wearing a mini skirt, so I pulled her panties off, pulled her skirt up and spread her legs. Unbuttoned most of her blouse, and unsnapped the front of her bra and pushed the cups to the side. Went back down to the bar, bought several shots, downed them and left the cups on the coffee table that was near her. I then took a seat a little distance away and nonchalantly watched all night as several guys and a few girls pretty much raped her exposed body.
It still excites me thinking about it, and I enjoy knowing that others get off to the story about it. I might do it again someday.

I posted it once on /b and some anon thought I was talking about one of his relatives. I'm still hoping he shows up in one of these threads and tells us if he fucked the woman he thought I was talking about. Pic related (not my wife but screen cap of the anon I was talking to that night.)

I was dumped by a woman I was dating for 5 and a half years, and she still wants to talk to me as if I don't still have feelings for her.
I honestly just want to start hating her, but I can't. How can I?

>>23625045
You can't

>>23625004
Why are you self-destructive enough to share that here?

>>23625050
Then what do I do?

I love having sex w guys wives, girlfriends, or family members. Preferably while they watch.will even let them film it. Only done a mom once I front of daughter.23/47 daughter friend and fat( no fatties on my dick), mom thin alcoholic. Made out w mom, then spent night in her moms bed. They still fight about it. Knew fattie had crush.

>>23625055
I have no idea

>>23625070
Someone call Tom Petty, cause i found a heart breaker.

>>23625055
Despite my posting above, I'm not beyond helping you out some.

Here is what you do, are you paying attention?

Never talk to her again. Block her phone, tell her to stop talking to you, avoid her in public places. Just make a clean break, seriously.
I had a girl do me the exact same way and I ended up taking her back. The hardest, most painful thing she did was leave me again and never look back. It was also the most humane thing she did.

>>23625089
Well my exes still ride occasionally. But yeah I guess.

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Advice:

Do you. Be you. All you can really be is you.

I remember this time last year, I got accepted into my favorite "match" school and I was elated and excited about going to college. Now I'm pretty fucking unhappy here, and I have no idea what I'm going to do. The student body drains me of my will to live. I know this sounds cocky, but most people I have met here are really fucking stupid (not sure if anyone thinks this matters, but my SAT score was at least 200 points higher than the mean at my school) I am not filled with regret that I didn't try harder in high school so I could have had a higher GPA to match my SAT and then be at a school which I actually am well suited to. No point in dwelling in the past, but it is really fucking me up right now. And I did pretty poorly my first two quarters so I'm not even sure if transferring is an option. I don't know I'm just really annoyed and unsure of what to do.

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I think the "basic" look is actually really hot.

>>23621288
This. Without a doubt the single greatest disappointment in my life was losing my virginity. It is NOTHING like society tells you. Save yourself. I wish, WISH, I did.

I met every single one of my sexual partners online, almost all of whom were complete strangers. Never had a long-term relationship either.

I started working a new job that put my hours off from my bfs. we only spend 2-3 hours together at any time besides days off anymore. It's been really tough and now what's worse is a couple guys at work (i work at a big company) are flirting with me and I am finding it crazy hot. I've been with my BF for so long and this past year it's so easy to feel neglected, this new attention is going to my head

I've been a heroin addict for 5 years. No one has an idea.

I'm a single black male who's never had a gf and I exclusively watch BM/WF cuck porn.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm actually just gay.
And if I'm gay, what would I do considering I find gay sex very unappealing.

>>23626911
You'll do fine. You just need to learn how to approach people.

>>23626939
Never having a GF doesn't make you gay, nor does cuck porn. Chill nigga.

I need advice.
I'm 32M been in a 8 year relationship with a woman who had 2 kids from another man i kinda loved her but she loved Meth more. We had a fall out cause she says I'm addicted to porn and i say shes addicted to Meth. About a month pasted since i last seen her and my life is about parties and weed and coke and porn. Last weekend her daughter showed up at my house she won't leave cause of her mom and her father moved on with another family. So i don't want her to leave but i still want to party hard. What to do?
Kik. pervertz

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My secret is that I got no secrets.

I'm an extremely transparent person. Everyone seems to know everything about me down to a T. When someone insults me, it hurts a lot because they're almost always 100 percent correct.

My "friends" have all carved out a dominant position above me; they can give me all kinds of shit and if I say a word back they get all defensive and act like that's not allowed. Worst part is I've been friends with them my whole life and if I try to make new friends, the connection just doesn't feel the same no matter how much nicer they are to me. I can't stand up for myself because I simply don't know how to do it in a way that actually gets the point across, and even if I did somehow, I know for sure they wouldn't listen.

Let's see; what else? I have a pretty bad computer addiction; the internet has basically become half my life and whenever I have free time (and sometimes even when I don't) it's all I do.

The worst part is I know I'm a talented guy. I make music digitally, and everyone who listens to it says it's really good. I'm really creative and stuff, as well. But that shit doesn't matter when I have zero work ethic. I have a drive to improve, but I don't know how to make that drive consistent and actually apply it to life so it can benefit me.

Actually, scratch that. It's even worse: I know how, but I just choose not to. I don't know why. But something seems to be preventing me from actually choosing to apply myself.

A lot of people in the past have treated me like shit and done some pretty nasty shit to me, and my ultimate goal in life is to get to a point where I can shrug that shit off. But it seems impossible at this point.

So...yeah.

>>23627071
You're probably not going listen to me at all but...

It's time to put down the parties and grow up. Your addictions might not be like being addicted to meth, but they're still self destructive nonetheless.
You are this child's only protector now. This future person could either grow up to be super successful with a husband and kids in a loving home or a meth addict like her mom. Put down the parties for the child's sake.
Contact CPS and report her. If you want the kid, adopt her. If not, foster homes are better than being with that woman.

Am 27 m straight and in a long term relationship. We dont have sex nearly enough for me but i love this chick and want to be with her for life.

Because of the not enough sex stuff i constantly try to get attention from other chicks. Feels bad man.

Is having another girl online that sends me nudes / masturbate together that bad of an idea? I could never physically cheat but i just want a freaky chick online or on snapchat to jerk it to every once in a while.

Tldr: im horny af and my girl dont like doin it so i want an online jerk off buddy

Inb4 she is bangin other dudes
Inb4 i have a small dick

>>23627119
You need to stop getting nudes/masturbating together.
Sit your girlfriend down and talk to her about this.

>>23627138
Have. Bunch of times.

Frustrating as hell.

>>23627140
What did these talks consist of?

>>23627158
Telling her how i feel. She knows and she hears it often. She just says she is sorry and that there is nothing she can do about it.

>>23627119
I don't think it's bad as long as you aren't falling in love with them, it's just interactive masturbation I guess right?

>>23627181
Potentially risky:

Show her the nudes you get. Say you're sorry and explain why you did it.

I'm quite the nymphomaniac. My only problem is that the guy will fall for me and want to start dating but I'm not interested. I messed around with this guy 2 nights ago and he told me he is going to visit me at work tonight. I'll have to tell him that I'm sorry, but I don't want to date and I'm going to have to see him upset. Rahh

>>23627198
been there. during college, and people think women are the ones who get attached. It's annoying to deal with but its easier if they know you are already sleeping with other people anyway

>>23627190
>>23627193

I would rather not have this problem at all obviously..

I just dont understand.

>>23627198
now that you do not date my friend, you are ugly. hideous witch. when i unleash my powers you will return to your cave. Then you die in march.

>>23627233
some people are just not sexually compatible, it happens. It's something you'll need to come to terms with and have a serious conversation with her about, don't neglect yourself because your gf isn't on the same wavelength.

I mean... I say this but I'm going through something similar so idk. ugh. life sucks. lust sucks

>>23627190
>>23627233
It's a serious problem. A majority of divorcees cite a lack of sex as the beginning of their problems.

>>23618159
>>23618187
This

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>>23627257

>>23627260
I thought that too but she has never been super sexually active wit past bfs

>>23627221
Yeah. It feels like I go through phases with it. But when I'm turned on I'm pretty unreasonable until after and I start thinking, 'oh no, great.. here we go again.' Oh well. Just thought I'd throw it out there on the 'confessions' thread to see if it would feel better after

>>23627263
I know. Trying to avoid this

>>23627257
March of next year? I'll be ready, kek

I hate my life even though it is probably better than the majority of those out there. I have a cute girlfriend and a just got an ok job. On the flip side Im an extremely paranoid person. Im 90% sure shes has or is cheating on me and I feel like Im probably better off alone. I feel like my life could be much better even though itd be rough alone for paying bills. Ive been with my gf so long that its really hard to consider leaving and she still says she loves me. I dont know desu maybe it's just depression I go through waves of happiness and basically depression and constant worry about everything from did i lock the door is all my stuff gonna get stolen to my gf didnt come home she is 100% getting railed by 3 guys right now.
Tdlr probably all in my head but I cant make it stop coming and going and dont know if dropping it all is better. The grass cant be greener right?

Since this is a general feels thread, mine isn't so bad compared to the things in here I guess, but it's nice to vent.

(1/3)
After I broke up with my first gf at 16 I lost most of the confidence I had. I couldn't get over her for at least 2 years, ended up seeing a counsellor about it since I didn't want to become some crazy stalker, but the fact it was a thing in the first place made things worse. I was already someone who stayed inside messing around with tech instead of socialising, but that was amplified after the whole thing.
Fast forward a few years and I start my first job (just a supermarket thing), I have trouble talking to most people for a few months and am very quiet.

(2/3)
After a year or so I'd opened up a bit, and 2 years later I've actually gone out to the pub a few times. I realised I have social anxiety at some point after thinking about how other people must deal with the crushing worry of talking to other people, then realising most of them don't. Some make it look effortless. It makes me jealous but I'm slowly getting there.

I finally went out to more than the pub this weekend. We went to another pub after a few drinks, then to a club (I only stayed for a bit since everyone split up and left me, it was too loud to hear anything but music and I couldn't see from the fog machines).

(3/3)
I'm proud of myself for doing it, but I'm worried about what the next step is. I'm getting my own place in a month or two, and planning on having people round every once in a while. The problem is I have no idea what people do other than drink when they have friends round. I worry a lot about what to talk about since my mind goes blank trying to think of something, so small talk is an issue.

tl;dr had social anxiety and self-esteem issues, getting better but still worry a lot about basic things

>>23627293
Exactly, she is who she is, you are who you are. Sexual compatibility is a thing and you two just might not have it.

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I make footjob to my boyfriend , but he does not know that this is not his cock

>>23627119
Been down this road man I dont know what the anwser is. I feel like if I stay with mine it will just end bad because I am already frustrated as fuck but too commited to just drop it. I feel like we have that talk every few months of hey you know whats happening isnt working for me but it doesnt matter.

>>23627388
Mostly hobbies

>>23610970
So I have a diaper fetish, right? And I have this fantasy I'd love to visit first to decide whether or not I'd want to do it for the rest of my life.

I'd like to have a daddy (or mommy I guess but I lean towards daddies) who will decide everything for me. What I read, when I get to orgasm (chastity), what haircut I have, when I get changed, what TV I watch, etc.

And I'd want to be his whore. Not just for him, but for whoever he says I should. I want him to pee inside of me and make me mess my diapers. Then I'd want to blow him and shit like that.

I've never even had sex before but god that's what I want my life to be like, I think. Shaved, etc, etc

I'm much more attracted to my girlfriend's friends than her. I wouldn't want to date anyone else because she has an amazing personality but it bums me out a lot.

>>23627561
You think you want your life to be like a sexual fantasy, but most people don't.

>>23627561
how do i get ahold of you?
Daddy dom here always like to talk to others interested in joining.

>>23627713
I'd have to get to know you first on a friend level before I actually did anything. So long as you're comfortable with that I'm happy to give out my Skype/Kik.

>>23627727
i wouldnt be looking for right away anyways and looking to make some friends more than anything.
i use kik carmar26

My biggest fetish is getting women I'm with pregnant, I love the idea of using my career and supporting a family.

But in all seriousness the idea of just holding her down and finishing in her, knowing that she's going to get pregnant is amazing.

>>23627766
Fantastic! I might need a little while but I'll be sure to add you ASAP

is not dating a guy just because of one physical feature of his that you hate a dick move

I almost cheated on my girlfriend this friday. I wish I did, she was the most beautiful girl i have ever seen

>>23611127
skype?

>>23612164
are you female?

>>23624457

Don't say such /fit/ things.

First i thought that there was a chance even if a boy is involved. Relationships start and end when the time is right for the people involved.

That being said, comparing yourself to the ginger is bull-shit. smells like jealously acting the part of masculinity.

Work on yourself. Girls actually take a long time to emotionally process information, but also enjoy knowing it.

That being said, maybe the ginger has some emotional complexity to him, unlike the way you've presented yourself. Baka.

This is going to sound a little silly, but I can't get over my ex.

We dated for a little bit and it was great but then I had to go out of state for school, although I've since returned home. She couldnt take the distances, and i sont blame her so we broke up.

Anyway, came home tried to get back with her, she wanted to put her school first, she's one of those people who's reslly into grades, like she needs a 4.0 like I need a cigarette in the morning. And not for money reasons ether, she's rich as fuck. Far more than me.

So, it didn't work and here's the catch. She's Asian and I work near the Asian part of town. So everyday I ride my bike through these crowds of young Asian woman and they all remind me of her. It's fu ck ing infuriating. To makes things worse she lives and works over there so I'm super paranoid about running into her. My heart catches everytime I see a girl with long dark hair from behind.

I just want to get over this/her and I've fucked other people and nearly drank myself into a coma but nothing is helping. Also I'm pretty sure I'll never be able to date an Asian chick again.

I'm pretty convinced that my ex was the best I'll ever get even though he was/is an abusive asshole. After we broke up my grades went down the drain, I gained weight, and all I started to care about is sex.

Now I'm seeing this total beta that I'm not attracted to at all because my friends want to see me with a "nice guy".

The sex is awful and I'm afraid that I'll cheat the moment I get the chance to.

>>23628176
You're a beta too if you're only dating him because of your friends anon. Drop that faggot, you can do better.

>>23627945
Curious why you think it's a dick move... You're not under any obligation to explicitly state why you don't want to date him, are you? People are allowed to have their preferences.

It would only be a dick move if you told him what the feature was and it was something he couldn't change and/or didn't want to change for you. That's selfish and creates bad dynamics for any kind of relationship.

You might be cheating yourself, too by throwing the baby out with the bath water if you like everything else about him.

>>23628176
Life is too fucking short, hostile and volatile to pity-date / pity-fuck anyone. Break up with him and keep looking before you cheat on him or before he figures it out.

Growing urge to move across the country to Quebec to become fully bilingual while cutting off ties from friends and family, as soon as I finish my bachelor's (only a year left!)

20/F

>>23627306
be ready on kik you said. so now you wait til march. i unleash deadless power you buy. and now you pay 42 cent. i increase prices you know.

>>23628176
You're reacting to a major event in your life. You don't need your ex back in it or anyone to tell you who to be with (like me, I guess), but you do need to realize that your reaction is not something dependent on the presence of your ex but rather on you. You have the power to change your situation without giving in to another long, wasteful, shitty relationship.

>>23627945
No

>>23627446
Your the kind of cunt that will post later on another thread just like this about how you miss your bf and he left you for no reason

Just get out of the relationship and end it, don't be a cunt, your a whore who should be single

>>23628176
So you want to run back to your abusive ex? You sound like a cunt.

Don't cheat just end it


>>23628503
This x 10000

I'm a two time felon for looking at child porn. I haven't looked at it in years but I still want to look at it.

>>23628146
I'm sorry, Anon. I know it feels like the universe fucked you over given where you were in each other's lives, geographies, etc. It's torture, being visually reminded every day of what is now a romanticized "what could have been" perfect girlfriend.

But the truth is that you know it wouldn't have worked out between the two of you, and you each prioritized things like school and gainful employment over this relationship.

The only thing that is going to help you get over her is to get and accept the kind of attention that this girl gave to you. You can't drink that kind of longing away. You can't fuck that kind of longing away, even with chicks that look like your ex - because you haven't clicked with any of those girls (so I assume).

You fear running into her and seeing girls that look like her because it just reminds you how shitty the circumstances were and you fear you'll never find that connection that you had with her in someone else.

You can, and you probably will. But special connections aren't an every day occurrence. If possible, a change of scenery would be good for you. And when you meet other Asian women, try to see the differences in them rather than similarities. (I'm an Asian fem and until I was heartbroken by a guy because of his religion, I couldn't tell most blonde guys apart.)

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>>23628608
Get ready fucko

>>23628630
Like I said, I've already been arrested and gone to jail for it. So I don't have to worry about them anymore.

>>23628640
You know they increase your sentance every time right?

>>23625055
>>23625128
I agree - make a clean break, cut off all communication. Not because you hate her, but because you respect yourself too much to be in a unequitable relationship where one person loves the other too much or in a different way. She's selfish if she can't understand that. Do yourselves each a huge favor and make a clean break.

>>23627388
Congrats on your progress, Anon!! And getting a place of your own, having people over- that's great!

People will smalltalk about anything - hobbies, family and pets, upcoming things they're excited about, the day's stressors, news, tech, movies/books/TV, food, etc.

If you want to have something to "do" other than drink, talk and eat, you can do a game night sort of thing (like Exploding Kittens, Settlers of Catan).

Most of the time when I host game night, people chat and drink for so long that we only get a couple rounds of any one game in anyway. Have fun!

>>23628485
I don't know, I just feel like it's shallow to think someone's hair is so bad that I couldn't be attracted to them
I definitely wouldn't mention it if we dated, I'm not mean
I've just never had an issue with this before since I don't usually care about looks it's just..really bad

>>23627119
>>23627181
>She just says she is sorry and that there is nothing she can do about it

No, she's saying that she's not willing to go through some really hard work to figure out whether there's something she can do about it.

She may not know just how important a more active sex life is to you and your marriage. It sounds like you're pretty open about this since you talk about the imbalance of sexual desire/fulfillment with her, but you may need a 3rd party (counselor) to help you understand each other.

She may think that sex is all about physical pleasure to you. She may have a ton of stuff in her history (upbringing, social structure, etc), current life situation (job, family, whatever) or self-esteem issues which make her not want to have sex often. She might not have allowed herself the pleasure to discover her kinks.

With regards to the interactive masturbation. Infidelity is not physical - it's anything where you feel guilty about it and feel like you can't tell the other person about it. I would talk to her about it- but not as a way to get permission to jack off to a camwhore. But as a way to start the conversation that a healthy erotic life is an essential part of the tornado that is marriage.

And if she isn't open to the idea that you guys need a more compatible erotic relationship (which requires work from both of you), then at least you're getting her to understand that this incompatibility can be a much bigger problem down the road.

Maintaining the pendulum between love and desire in a marriage takes willingness, thoughtful consideration, and maturity on each person's part.

tl;dr the porn variant you describe isn't cheating so long as you can tell your wife about it. The big problem is whether or not she's open to the idea of maintaining a better erotic life with you. good luck!

>>23628754
If everything about a girl was 10/10 except she had long thick dreadlocks, I wouldn't touch her.

>>23629004
But it's something he can't control
His hairline is just ridiculously receding at 19

>>23629044
Can he grow a beard? If not, he's fucked. I know that my hairline is going to start receding at like 30, and I've promised myself that I'll shave my head and grow a beard.

>>23629066
Yes but it looks godawful

>>23629088
Define god awful. Patchy and thin?

I've realized that I don't know how to enjoy myself when it comes to anything
I don't know how to have fun or not look at everything logically
I've internalized everything for so long and now I don't know what to do with myself
I'm scared of people especially if they're my age
I wake up every morning wishing I was dead

>>23629091
Looks like someone ripped out pubes and taped them to their chin
I'd rather him to just stay clean shaven honestly

>>23629196
What your doing is pretty shallow, but also understandable and I wouldn't hate you for it.

>>23629122
You just need to find something you like that isn't shitposting

>>23628608
don't go to mastur chan anon

I sat outside my ex's apartment with a shotgun for most of the night last week trying to talk myself into blowing my brains out in her parking lot so she'd have to see it and know it was her fault but I couldn't bring myself to do it because I still love her. I think I'll probably go out in the woods alone and hope no one comes looking for me instead

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I got bullied a lot. today I know how to cook, how to fight, how to fix computers and do some programming, and I'm yet to fail at pleasing a woman. I can speak about many of the sciences with a fair deal of aptitude and I can throw jokes into a conversation well enough to turn a funeral into a funhouse.
I still think about all the things people told me. I still hear them chanting psycho, calling me freak. I still remember how they pushed me and hit me. I don't trust my girlfriend but I know she wouldn't cheat and she's a bit on the large side so most people aren't even thinking of her.
I'm emotionally convinced that my life is a sick joke; that my cooking is really terrible, that my poetry is horrible, that nobody actually likes me, and that every toe-curling orgasm was a fake. all I can say I know for sure is that I am capable of some self defense, and that I am relatively knowledgeable with regards to science. I'm worried that tomorrow I'll wake up with a note calling me a faggot and a psycho, and my girlfriend will be fucking my enemy and telling everyone I'm horrible in bed. I barely sleep anymore. is my life just another sick highschool prank to remind me that I used to have an imaginary friend and lisp? is my success just something to be pulled from me when i let my guard down, so that I may touch the joys I will never truly have?
pic related, is me.

>>23629261
Don't do it. You may not have a reason to live, but you also don't have a reason to kill yourself.
>>23629263
Your life isn't a joke. People stop doing that shit past highschool

>>23629263

If you still have people in your life you consider an enemy you're fucked in the head.

>>23629299
That's not true

>>23628754
I'm not understanding what the problem is. You are feeling guilty / shallow because you aren't attracted to this guy based on looks (in particular, his prematurely receding hairline)? We're animals, not robots- don't date him if you're not attracted to him. NBD.

Coincidentally, I always had a pref for long haired metal guys until meeting The One. He shaved his head when he was 21, due to a prematurely receding hairline. Luckily, I think he has a nice skull and is hot AF.

>>23629263
You need to relax and stop being so self-concious, nobody is trying to fool you. It sounds like you might have mild paranoid schizophrenia but you're probably just over analysing everything.

>>23629302
It is. You can dislike people but calling them an "enemy" is juvenile. I think anon was just using the metaphorical enemy though.

>>23629261
don't do it man. especially over a girl. pick yourself up, act like a confident man until you feel comfortable with yourself. find a new BETTER woman. look back and lol on this part of your life

>>23629299
having enemies pushes you into bettering yourself

>>23629340
Lol no if the only thing driving you to be better is spite, like, fuck brah

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>>23629299
He molested my friend and is not yet in jail because law enforcement is slow as fuck where I live, but because i'm the one who helped her speak up about it, i'm not exactly a favorite of his. and he's actually schizophrenic and I don't trust him to not try shit.
Another guy, similar situation, except he's mad because he tried to somehow make it my fault he was making advances @ a minor. he's pissed because he thinks I ratted him out when I didn't even know.
I'm not popular. been jumped twice in the past few months, got a threat in the mail last week.
>>23629299
they didn't. at the store when they saw me. when I'm out on my bike. it hasn't ended.
>>23629328
thanks.I really hope you're right that i'm over analyzing.

I took my friends virginity, it was agreed between the two of us to be a one time deal but she gave surprisingly good head and I want it again.

Also I'm in a very strange relationship with my friend, turned gf, turned ex, then turned fwb. I love her but we arent together because of distance (which honestly isnt that bad except that i have no means of transportation). We seldom talk about getting an apartment and living together because we're in the stages of our lives were doing that isn't so far into the future but both of us fully acknowledge the fact that sometimes things dont go how we want it to be.It's a nice ideology because we're cushioning the blow if it doesn't work but it's somewhat depressing at the same time.

Another thing is that I had a fwb for about a week before getting a STD scare, thankfully it's negative, but i'm currently not getting anything so im tempted to go back with her.

>>23629323
My issue is that I like him a lot as a person and I have a bit of a crush on him but I don't know how much I could see past that as far as being actually attracted to him and I want to date him so that bugs me

I lost my virginity to a girl on /soc/ in 2010 who I first dated and then I found out had a long distance boyfriend. And 6 hours after I confirmed it with her, I fucked her. I regretted it the next day and we broke it off. Then I spend the next month after trying to hook up again because I was a horny teenager, and I went full beta bitch and got blown off hard. I haven't had a relationship or sexual encounter in the six years since.

>>23619644
I didn't know that was a thing. Thank you so much. Truly helped me.

I Need a piece of advice
Been chatting with this person and sending lots of nudes
Asked me to send a selfie after some weeks
Keeps saying that we have to meet
Cause we live relatively close
My friend says that the person just want my selfie to expose me on the internetz with my nudes
Ok very confused and idk
Just had sex one time and this person had more then 36272929... Even being a little younger than me.
Says that love me... I kinda love the person already... What should I do?

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>>23629729
I couldn't even comprehend half of what you said. Try again

>>23629743
I'm sorry... English is not my native language. I know that I sound like a semiliterate person but That's the best I can do. I'm also super nervous and anxious.

>>23629778
>more than 3627229
explain

>>23629802
The person had lots of sex with different partners. That's.
You're clearly making fun of my problem. Let it go.

>>23629808
No I'm not, I just can't read your broken English.
Go for the meeting. Your friend is being a fag.

I hate myself so much as of lately. As time passes I'm starting to realize how much I'm so dam selfish. In all honesty, I'm in a great position in my life rn. I recently have gotten hired at a local Starbuck, I go to college, I have great friends, a loving family, I'm studying music for crying out loud! And music is my passion. But its not enough for me. I want more. I want an Ex from two years ago to love me. I want to be the smartest one in my group. I don't wnat to be behind anyone! I want ME to be in the spotlight! There are times where i cannot STAND being in the background! NAD I HATE MYSELF FOR IT!!!!

Took a dump in my friend's cat's litter box when I was a kid

I feel as if i'm doing something subconsciously that puts off girls, even when i ask other opinions and they all say girl x likes me, and when my gut says the same thing, 99% of the time I get rejected. The only time I don't is when I give literally less than a seconds thought about it.
Or maybe it's because I've never worn aftershave.

>>23629720
I'm so glad, Anon. I really hope you can talk to one of these services and get support. You deserve to be listened to. I volunteer with a local rape clinic - know that you are not alone. *internet hug*

>>23629261
Don't do it. Don't let any one shitty person or shitty series of events have that kind of power over you. Your life is worth living; you have the capacity to love. Find a way to dig out and put that love back into the universe.

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>>23630294

My coworker today is wearing yoga pants and exposing about two inches of skin between them and her hoodie. It's taking all of my willpower not to pull them down and start fucking her right now. I mean Jesus.

>>23611076
first off, relax. online dating isn't the end all, be all. most of the time, you find someone when you stop trying so hard. what you need to do is be more confident in yourself and learn to like who you are. that is a HUGE turn on for women and they will start to see you in a different light. I don't mean turn into a ego maniac. that will turn them off to you. confidence is key. Focus on you and getting yourself to a place that you can look in a mirror and be happy with what you see. because you can't be happy WITH someone if you can't be happy WITHOUT them. not sure if that makes sense to you or not, but it is true.

When I can't find my bunny rabbit pillow, I scream and cry.

I am addicted to porn.

More specifically, I am addicted to masturbating. To the point where it cuts in on my productivity. At first it was a few ero mangas a night, now its a few in the evening and before I get to sleep. I'm not sure why, but I seem to place this negative image on it, and now I feel a bit guilty everytime I do it. Crap.

25/M/US
I met the girl of my dreams a few months ago, thanks to this board. Though it was a long distance relationship, it was probably the healthiest I've ever had. We were going on three months when, out of nowhere, a couple weeks ago, she said she couldn't handle the stress anymore, and wanted to break it off. I talked her out of it, only a couple of days later to wake up to a message from her basically saying that we can't talk for a few months. She reassured me that after these few months were over, everything would be fine, and we'd get back together, but, I am not so sure. It's going on 3 weeks of zero communication and I admit I am a cynic, but, part of me wants to believe it really was just stress from school/family that drove her to leave, and not her just being tired of the relationship/finding someone else. We had plans to be together, but, this wasn't her first time in doing so. She had done this before with an ex before breaking it off with him. That fact always picked at me. I wake up everyday and tell myself I am going to be alright, but, being without her is slowly getting to me. Idk if I should wait for these few months to pass and see what happens, or to just move on, find someone else. I really love this girl. I am starting to have my doubts, though.

>>23633157
what type of porn?

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Yesterday was my 22nd birthday and I have done nothing.

I tried to get other people in my college course to go out somewhere, but I didn't tell them it was my birthday because I felt like they would then have to go purely on obligation rather than just wanting to hang out with someone. All of them were unavailable for the night or didn't want to go with me.
So I continued with my day yesterday as always, periodically having episodes of long internal dialogue and severe sense of loneliness.
I don't hold against others in my course, they're great people and I value and respect each one as a friend but I feel like they don't like me enough.

I guess I could try celebrating by myself today, but I don't know how. I got some cash to spend, but the pubs here in Scotland are all empty and I don't know what I would do besides sit and drink in one place.
Does anyone have any suggestions as how to spend it?

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>>23635019
First of all, try not to worry so much about other people's thoughts of you. I did the same thing for years, never inviting people to anything or going out with them because I thought they'd have better things to do/accept only out of pity. That sort of thing only begets more of the same unless you break the habit, at which point your confidence will grow over time. (Yes, it takes a while, not just a few days.)

Consider telling them you were busy on your birthday but you're organising something now, even if it's just going to the pub or having them over for gaming/drinking. If you don't get enough people (say only 3 or 4 say yes) just have a game night in with some takeaway.

Godspeed anon (I'm >>23627373)

>>23635019
I know that feel.
I'm 20 now, and I haven't done anything for my birthday since I turned 17, and even the fucking facebook 'hey look facebook told me it's your birthday so I wrote it on your wall' shit declined from like 10-20 people to 1-2. Partly because facebook is getting 'out' again, yeah, but still.
I feel like I get along better with people now, yet I still don't have 'friends'. I have people I talk to sometimes, I have my long distance gf that behaves the same way as me - okay, she has a group of nerdy friends she (and I sometimes) hangs out on teamspeak with. But other than that? No friends.
I sometimes end up going out alone - somehow getting along with a group of people because alcohol somehow gives me miraculous social skills, buuut other than that, nope. I don't even know the name of those people most of the time.
I think I've reasonably accepted it now though. Most of the time, I actually prefer not to be bothered by people. There's just some days where I get the feels that I want friends.

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so i lost my virginity the other day, and i was having sex with this guy who is 6 years older than me yesterday. the same guy i lost my virginity to. this would have been the 4th time id had sex, he was wearing a condom but in the heat of the moment said he was going to cum inside me, he did, he pulled out and the condom broke, we both kinda looked at eachother scared. and i stood up, and just all this cum was just dripping out of me. i went and took the pill. but i just cannot get over that feeling. just standing there naked with his fluid leaking out of me, its a weird feeling, something ive never felt before. a yucky feeling.

i don't know why i feel scared i just do

I've tried to avoid intimacy all my life to the point where people just assume I'm asexual, it's never really bothered me and I've never regretted it. The problem now is I've fallen hard for someone and it's clear that they're not interested.

Never felt so alone now and I have no idea what to do.

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I was beat a man to death, I think.
I was drunk and buzzing on meth and acid, it was early morning and this guy asked for a cigarette. I don't know how or why I got on top of him and went apeshit. He bled quite a bit from his mouth and nose. I still don't know if I killed him or not. The worst part is, in my drug addled mind I enjoyed it. The viscerality soothed me for some reason.

I feel very strongly for this girl and I cannot tell if she feels the same. She is always very nice to me, and we went out to grab food together a few weeks ago. Later, I went to a party that she was at. She always hugs people, but while she was there she kissed me on the neck I think. Later on, I was talking to another girl really innocently and she stared daggers at me. When she left she hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. She honestly melts the ice in my chest thinking about her, but I dont talk to her nearly enough, and neither of us make the effort to find each other.

I talked to her today and she seemed down. I really wanted to make her feel better but i couldnt show my hand since it would both make her feel uncomfortable and would destabilise the friend group we are in. Its also really weird since she talks about dating people and who she has been with a lot but the other week said she didnt want a boyfriend (never asked her out, was giving advice since I would rather her be happy and still be my friend).

She is the kindest girl I have ever met, she is so understanding of me and I feel like i understand her too.

>>23635598
Shit, fighting is a funny thing. I enjoy the adrenaline rush, but I hate hurting people. I hope he is ok.

>>23635350
I used to be afraid of it too. Try to show it, its one of the big things that creates human relationships

>>23635135
It is incredibly unlikely the pill failed youll be fine

I'm in a happy relationship but fantasise about my abusive ex boyfriend :(

I hate myself so much for something stupid/bad I did when I was 14
It's been over 8 years but I can't ever forgive myself and I feel like if people ever knew about it they'd all hate me because I'm the "sweet lovely girl"
I fucked up and I don't deserve happiness because I am a terrible person

>>23635781
What did you do?

>>23635786
I'm not sure if I want to talk about it anywhere kinda public, if it ever gets traced to me I'm going to lose everyone I'm sure of it

>>23635803
How would it be traced to you? You may need to anonymise the story and change some details, but unless it's a famous unsolved murder you're about to confess to...

>>23635806
I'm just a little paranoid... I dunno, and I didn't murder anyone, I don't think I could ever hurt someone

I don't even know how to start explaining what happened it makes me feel so sick and angry thinking about it

>>23628176
are you my ex?

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>>23610970
I enjoy collecting blackmail information on prospective targets.