fugggg hookup thread archived while I was writing my >gts
lets res this zombie
oldthread:
>>23482604
Alright boys, here's a story from my on-campus days. (Prior stories were from my summer back home in the city I'm from)
>going to university in small city (~.5 M)
>hit up the only good asian grocery store in this bunghole
>bump into my first gf ever AKA practice girl, from my home city. no shit her yellow ass would be at the chinamart
>i used to finger this girl behind the portable classrooms
>was a solid 6/10
>probably about a 6.5/10 now, but now her bod is 8/10
>used to be tubster, now i'm /fit/
>"wow anon, you're so hot now"
>you've changed a lot too, girl!
>she's trashy af now tho
>she's attending another small college for some noob-level IT shit
>"we should definitely catch up sometime!" she says while lightly gripping my arm
>yaoklol
>few days go by and i forget about her
>get a text
>"hey anon! so glad we're in the same city now. can you come over and help me with blah blah blah howdoishotwebs"
>i heard this bit before
>im horny but i needa get my shit done
>surelol, lemme finish my lab
>"can't wait!"
>finally get finish my shit and drive over to her place. ~10pm
>meet in foyer
>sup. so what are you having issues with?
>"oh my boyfriend is so needy! hes always so paranoid blah blah blah"
>i was asking about her assignment. she hadn't even mentioned him until this point
>she cant stfu about him, turns out it was this guy i knew who went to her highschool and now they LDR af
>get to her apt, she has 2 roommates. tall slender small town white girl, petite persian girl
>now these two types are my mango jam boys, fukkin exotic delicacies for me right here
>turn my kanto league cap backwards and throw out some pokeballs
>tryin' to catch one of these wild pokemon here in the tall grass
>get the persian girl to low hp
>trashyex keeps trying to turn the convo attention to her
>its not very effective...
>eventually she can't handle her rustled jimmies
>literally pulls me by the arm into her room
>"you have to help me anon!"
>yeah alright fine niceguy.tshirt
>>23502672
>shows me her shit, its a nub-level programming assignment in python
>get started fixing her broken ass code, maybe i can get back to princess persia and escape the sands of time here
>turn around to explain something to her
>she has changed into her pjs
>when the fuck did that happen
>"i wanted to be in something comfier! teehee"
>remember the fact that my home city ships its trash to this one
>chortle
>"are you done yet? I wanna go sleep!"
>yeah. but lemme explain this to you.
>she comes and sits on my lap
>pay it no mind
>every time i point to a line she leans forward and pushes her butt against my crotch
>semi
>pretty sure shes not wearing panties underneath
>last line of code;
>}
>"wait what!? you're done?!"
>yeah it was easy. how about a thank you kiss?
>turn my cheek to her
>she leans in
>last minute turn my head so she kisses me on the lips
>"anon you're so bad!"
>yeah trashyho i know.
>stares at me for a few seconds
>grabs the back of my neck and starts making out with me
>shes just as sloppy as she was in grade 10
wait sorry BRB boys, i gotta get to the store before it closes
>>23502720
it has been an hour
rip
Rest in pepperonis coolanon
Does this look like it could possibly turn into something?
https://honolulu.craigslist.org/oah/w4m/5494797126.html
>>23502720
lol my bad, boys. buddy buzzed me for a beer at the bar. st pattys lololol cultural appropriation
cont.
>she's really getting into it
>slide my hand along her waist, under her tshirt and rest my hand bare on the small of her back
>rest my left hand over her thigh, gently run my fingers back and forth slightly on her inner thigh
>she opens her legs up
>the gates of oblivion are now open
>slowly move my hand inward until the side of my forefinger presses against her clit
>can confirm no panties, shes soaking through the cotton of her pjs
>hold position on right hand
>left hand moves up and around her frame, start fondling her left tit and teasing her nip
>she starts rocking her body to rub her clit against my fore finger
>pull back from making out
>now what would david say about this?
>"ugh he doesn't care, he's probably cheating on me anyway"
>well two wrongs make a right, doesn't it?
>lol david's last name is rong
>joke goes woosh
>she gets up and goes to grab her phone on the desk
>slide hand under pjs
>"hey!! i'm texting!" her eyes fixed on her phone
>as she does i'm brushing the back of of my fingers against her mons
>musta shaved about 2 weeks ago, her peach fuzz growing back. tiniest clit ever, i remember i had too much trouble finding it, back all those years too.
>waistbandsnap.wav
>she sits down, tosses her phone
>looks at me and points, "my roommates CANT hear us, okay?"
>solid snake go for stealth mission
>she slides her pjs down to her ankles, and steps her right leg out, keeping the pjs on her left ankle
>old habits die hard
>spreadlegs.gif
>new content
>she was max unshaven when we were in highschool
>dark vag area, thin yet wavy lips, and a long clit hood
>stepfoward, lower myself between her thighs
>kiss clit hood for good luck
>push back clit hood with two fingers
>user other hand to push remainder of clit hood
>oy vey someone needed a circumcision
>whatever its all good in the hood
>start eating her out
>>23503881
why yes absolutely
looks neat to me
not alota pawns in the hons, eh?
>>23504441
>she tastes different
>remember that i'm technically sucking david rong's cock right now
>yeah okay maybe we should hold off on the clam chowder buffet here boys
>standup
>she has a pillow over her face
>sik active noise cancelling system there brah
>don't have to see her face
>actually im okay with this
>unbuckle belt, unzip, shuffle off jeans
>shuffle. shuffle, she raises her pillow and watches me take off my underwear
>im already hard so my dick springs out and slaps up against me
>she gets up instantly
>dem abs
>grabs my dick and takes a closer look, pulling back my foreskin slowly
>i guess she wanted to get reacquainted too
>she strokes it a few more times and cups my balls with her other hand
>pulls back down all the way and holds it there while
>aight museums closed
>whisper "turn around"
>flips over and raises her ass to me, i press my dick against her lips
>lookdown, her phone gets notifcation, snap from none other than david rong himself
>evilplain.doc
>start fingering her
>pick up phone
>lol no lock
>open snapchat
>"im still out ttyl"
>send closeup vag pic back
>spread her pussy open and snap that too
>put phone down for a sec
>her face is in the pillow again
>take dick and start rubbing it against her lips
>she squeezes her thighs together and tenses up
>lol this is how we use to have sex when we were 15
>pull back for a second and grab phone, still have not yet alerted the enemies
>gotta report back to intel
>start teasing the entrance of her vag with glans and start snap vid
>"just put it in"
>i look up and she hasnt turned around
>slowly push cock in
>she lets out a quick squeaky moan
>send snap
>turn off phone
>drop into pile of laundry
>kick pile under bed
>MISSION SUCCESS
>k now to actually start fucking her
>still go kinda slow cause i dont wanna be too loud
>desu i don't want princess persia or sniper sally to know either cause yknow
>the sound of squishy wet flesh still quite evident tho
>pull out with a pop
>>23504453
No sadly. I hope with this upcoming spring break I'll get an influx of honeys.
I'll try her out for your sake coolanon
>>23504717
>this time she turns around
>"my pussy's too loud"
>ya. reach right hand over to her laptop.
>startbutton->chrome, enter-> youtube->GIRAFFAGE->tab, enter
>"tskk so obvious!!"
>okay fine
>switch to PATRICKJMT
>okay, in this video, i wanna talk about the...
>"oh ive seen this guy before"
>she lays down on the bed
>i get on top of her and enter her
>automaticdoors.gif
>start having consensual sex in the missionary position with her
>as i bottom out and hold
>inadvertently meet eyes with her
>there may have been a moment there lol whopz
>start fucking her HARD.
>she grabs her pillow again and stuffs her face in it. i could still hear her yelling into it, though.
>doesn't really matter because her bed is creaking
>patrickjmt is still explaining definite integrals so its all good
>patrick's soft spoken yet articulate voice only makes my penis harder
>beginning to approximate the area under the curve as the total sum of the area of all infinitesimally wide rectangles between two endpoints
>seems like our data points are approaching convergence as she has wrapped her legs around me
>approaching the limit of our function here boys
>remember something about my teenaged years
>pry back her legs
>stand up over her
>she never liked facials
>grab her pillow
>cum on her face
>as i cum on her she shakes her head back and forth but only further spreads the damage
>musta dropped 4 or 5 ball bombs on the north coast taiwan
>owed debt to the kingdom of formosa repaid
>welp heres your free day at the spa ma'am
>shes frozen for a sec, before she wipes the cum away from her eyes
>she starts licking it off her fingers
>well fuck seasons change and so do people
bumb
>>23504843
>>patrick's soft spoken yet articulate voice only makes my penis harder
lost it here
im 22/f and fat. like, 5'3 230ish lbs, b cup tits and most of my weight in the stomach. average face probably.
>have an okcupid account
>come home from class in the beginning of last semester
>notice i got a message
>open it
>more than one line so i don't trash it
>below average looking guy
>younger than me
>generally not my type
>says he's in the class i just got out of
>notlikethis.webm
>realize it'd be more awkward to ignore him
>exchange a lot of very huge messages
>the first few are awkward but turns out we have a lot in common
>hes being super friendly but decidedly unflirty
>exchange snapchats
>send him pg snaps, me reacting to horror movies
>send him a snap before bed
>realize theres cleavage showing
>scribble it out in snapchat
>suddenly gets flirty and weird
>"uncensor it! no fair!" etc
>persists forever
>finally end up sending him nudes on snapchat
>he begs me to blow him in a parking lot
>refuse for a week
>eventually cave and let him come over to my house during the day
>we watch american horror story, hes bored
>get along fine, basically cuddling on couch
>still ugly in person, drowning in cheap "cologne" but good personality
>randomly decides to kiss me
>its like a golden retriever
>he takes the makeup off of the bottom half of my face
>tries to rub my pussy through leggings, i push him off
>just want the shitty kissing to stop
>starts fiddling with my tits
>finally gets off of me
>I'm sitting on my couch, hes standing in front of me
>pulls pants off
>full on boner
>blow him... first time ever doing this
>its fine but i think I'm doing a shit job and get self conscious
>hes really into it
>cums fast
>not sure what to do
>swallow
>keep sucking it gently
>doesn't lose boner
>end up just continuing to blow him
>he busts again
>i swallow
>he sits awkwardly on my couch while i get water
>my mom comes home
>hes weird
>we go outside and hes being weird and distant
>say bye
>>23507926
>he never says hi to me in person in class but texts me the whole time for the rest of the semester
>we basically stop talking outside of class texting
>every now and then he begs me for a blowjob in the school parking lot after class
>i always deny
>hes usually super annoying and persistent
>class is over, never hooked up again
>haven't spoken since the last day of class where i rejected him via text
wew lad
might as well ask in this semi related thread.
as a man seeking a woman, how can i weed out all the fake stuff on CL?
>>23508014
Don't expect any results from CL if you weed out the fakes
>>23507926
>>23507938
akward lmao
>>23508020
then without a smartphone for tinder and grindr am i fucked, or am i just fucked in general?
>>23508036
No tablet? Most people are on mobile devices now dude. Not many of them take time to read through emails. Most of them don't give much of a shit about back and forth emails. It's about instant gratification now. The technology exists, therefore there is no reason why they can't just send you a picture and recieve a compliment within seconds. Most women you'll find on CL are unclean hookers or MIWF's
>>23507926
>>23507938
guy just wanted his dick sucked.
Doubt he wanted anything more, might've thrown you a bone at your place
>rejected him
>>23508051
i have a family tablet, so no. and my laptops dont support emulators well.
>>23508119
You can go to Bestbuy and get a smarthphone for $40. Just don't give it a service, only use it on wifi.
>>23508164
Yeah just get a straighttalk phone or some shit
>>23508164
>>23508173
huh, i think i might just do that.
thanks anons.
btw, is okcupid reliable at all?
>>23508202
Not where I'm at but Im at Middle Of Fucking Nowhere