Other roast thread is dead and buried. Let's do it

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In b4 tiny dick

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>>22744809
You need to use some sun screen, you look like a total douche who is way to full of himself and likes to show off his materialistic things like his watch his mummy brought for him to make up for your shit personality

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>>22744809
Cute but orange oompa loompa skin tone

>>22744864
Eyebrows too spaced apart and look unnatural
I'm guessing you're a nail biter?


I suck so bad at roasting other people I hate being mean but here have at it

>>22744895
You could be cute but damn please go to the dentist or at least close your mouth when taking a pic

>>22744895
Would fuck. Show tits.

>>22744894
I am still unsure whether male or female.

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>>22744809
Works on his "next great novel," in coffee shops, though thinks he'll sport more attention writing by hand than typing the manuscript.
>>22744864
Posted a picture from google images, has never plucked up the courage to post his own pictures.
>>22744894
Got rid of her septum piercing after complaining about being jeered at by old men along the lines of, "You look like a bull," or "So, you like being led around, huh?" To no one's surprise, all her piercings were fetish based, she just feels need to gripe

>>22744928
>tfw parents never took me to the dentist as a child
at least the military will help me fix my teeth

>>22744809
Look at you. Sitting there uncomfortably
in that Holiday Inn hotel lobby as your mother snaps a quick picture of you.

>"B-but mom!"
>"Just smile! I want something I can post on the Facebook!"

You force the best smile that your autistic self can muster, and in a flash the terribly pathetic moment is forever captured in the form of this photo and promptly uploaded to Facebook with the caption:

"My big boy :)"

>>22744864
Always wanted to be like one of the pretty girls. Unfortunately, your XY chromosomes got in the way of that. After dropping out of college and threatening your parents with suicide, Mam and Paps regrettably agreed to help pay for your gender reassignment surgery. Sadly your insurance sucks and you are now stuck in a strange half-man-half-shebeast form. The hormones have caused you to take on a lot of weight in odd places but you get through each day by telling yourself and everyone else: "I have curves ;-)"
>>22744894
Men! Grab the pitchforks. Grab the torches. We've got an ogre— I repeat, this is not a drill!

Really now. Why did you think you could get away with posting in this thread? Was your ego inflated by a few 8's in the last eye rate thread? Your obvious hatred of yourself is demonstrated in the numerous Satan sparkles dangling off of your grotesque Eldritch face, and I can only imagine how scarred up those treetrunk legs of yours are.
>>22744895
Peace. Love. Potbelly.

Right. You got that shirt on a very low budget vacation you took with your father and step-mother a few years ago. You thought it was adorable and used up your $20 allowance on it and still wear it to this day because you want people to KNOW that you have indeed left the county once. Judging by your "Ice
Age 6: Sid's Spunk" asthetics, I can only guess you are the product of incest or fetal alcohol syndrome. It's ok, though. You're fine with keeping it in the family.

>>22745006
I hate your nose, so much.

>>22745033
This

>>22745004
I work at Potbelly but everything else, spot on.

>>22745066
Can we get another photo?

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>>22745527

>>22745541
You are a pretty girl.

>>22745603
that's not much of a roast but hey thanks!

>>22745616
I failed to read the thread title, bitch.

>>22745620
That's more like it!

>>22745737
Love you *winky face*