Imposter Syndrome Support Group

>Masters student at University of New Hampshire.
>Got my batchelor's at UNH too.
>Not in Ph.D. program elsewhere because rejected all around.
>silver lining appears
>got le epic research internship this summer elsewhere, I finally spread my wings
>get in
>PI gives me a book "Waves in Acoustic Media"
>fuck, this shit is meaningless
>almost seems to contradict itself in places
>me_no_understando.jpg
>the doc gives me vol 2
>vol 2 uses math I have never studied before
>I totally thought I could handle this

I don't feel like I'm experienced enough with syndrome to post in this group

>>9032116
cont.
>like how the fuck do you do research anyway?
>what have I got in store for myself in grad school?
>feel like such a brainlet
>for the love of god, send help

>>9032116
>vol 2 uses math I have never studied before
I know this feeling too well. I do computational engineering where the world leading research is done by the French. The average French engineer would be considered an applied mathematician in any other country. I feel like I can't make any leeway in my research until I obtain the math background to understand most of their papers.

>>9032098
>>9032116
>>9032121
I don't know what it is like in other fields. In biochemistry, my first year was plagued with imposter syndrome until I joined my permanent dissertation lab. The knowledge that came with the specialization of the lab contributed an extraordinary amount of self-confidence in the face of other young professionals or professionals in general. Further, in my lab, I occupy a specific niche of technical expertise (certain kinds of experiments) that everyone in my lab relies on me for, in addition to some other people in my department, which relatively few people know how to do themselves. I think the best way to deal with these kinds of issues to find something about your work and make it yours. I imagine this is easier to do with some fields than others, though.

>>9032119
kek'd

bump
I'm never going to make it through grad im gonna neck myself reeeeeeeeeeeee

Fucking idiots.
Insecurity isn't an issue, it is necessary.

I wish I could tell you what it is like. To feel like you're truly working towards something good. To think that you will make a difference, not only in your own eyes but in the eyes of the world.

But the world isn't watching. It never is. Instead we're locked in damp basements working grueling hours on something which in all likelihood will be insignificant and ignored by our peers. Because that is the harsh reality that comes with doing science. For years you will feel like what you do makes no difference. The stress and the pressure slowly building up to a point where you feel like you just can't take it anymore, only to be taken away temporarily by some minor achievement like getting another degree, or a publication in that slightly higher up journal you've been hoping for.

But it always returns. That lingering sense of insignificance. The realization that everything you do, however brilliant it may seem to your close or even distant colleagues, is incomparable to things which have been done before you. Even if you make it you will feel like it was all just luck. That you happened to be in the right place at the right time. That that tenured position wasn't really right for you, but you got it anyway, for no apparent reason.

Years beyond, when you are widely regarded as an expert in your respective field you will still have that feeling. That you do not really know what you are doing. That it was all luck which brought you there. That you are an impostor, living the life of someone else.

But this isn't true. You will not be an impostor. What you have been working on, however minor the problem may seem, has relevance. Everyone before you likely felt the same way. You cannot become great by trying to be great, but by wanting to do something with such a conviction that you become great in the process. Remember this in your years to come. It will comfort you.

this isn't really science/math but
>5th dan blackbelt in taekwondo
>met countless grandmasters of various martial arts

>pretty much all of them are just phonies who peaked at 20 years old

When you train for decades at martial arts you don't get better at martial arts. You get better at tricking people into thinking you're better than you are. They're all experts at doing something simple but making it look way harder than it is. What's funny though is even the absolute worse phonies will fall for their own bullshit and think they're good. That's not to say they're not passionate or trying hard, but the dirty secret is that you can pretty much learn everything useful from a decent teacher in like 3 months and be done.

I think in my whole career I've met like 1 guy who I would consider a true master, and he grew up in a kung fu monastery in china

>>9036431
awesome post, thank you.

>>9036431
>Instead we're locked in damp basements working grueling hours on something which in all likelihood will be insignificant
Ha, speak for yourself brainlet
I spend all my grueling hours on the third floor with very low humidity and intermittent A/C

>>9036418
I think in a simular path but cant explain it (maybe its not simular)

Care to elaborate.

it really hurts to see someone who's like in the top 5% of the top 5% when it comes to intellectual potential, who's suffering from the imposter syndrome

"ooh, i can't do this... oooh... i'm bad at that"

the problem with overachievers is that they set the bar so high, that even decent results look like a disaster to them

what helps is kicking their shit for any sign of negativity, or the lack of confidence, and boosting their ego

i mean, past certain point there's nothing you can't do if you just apply yourself, so put a lid on it

self hatred isn't pretty, and it doesn't make you look sexier

>>9036559
>implying the virgin walk doesn't require women to change their undergarments