Engineers of /sci/: How would you solve this?

>>8890554
Break the glass.

>>8890554
be quick af

>>8890554
Just open it a bit and smoosh one hand in to push the plate back. Use my knee to catch any that might fall.

>>8890554
Why "fix" this amazing piece of art?

Break the glass below or on the side, if the price of the glass is less expensive than the plates .
Or put a mattress under and try to catch the more you can

>>8890554
The system is stable, changing anything is most likely result in a situation worse than the current one, therefore just leave it as it is.

>>8890593
The system is only locally stable. Due to the global lack of plates, the larger system has become unsustainable.

>>8890554
They are theoretically already broken.

Do it like in the movies.

Grab a diamond.
Cut a circular hole in the glass directly adjacent.
Insert hand and grab the priceless antique china without tripping the self destruct alarm.

>place soft material like a cushion or blanket

Open slowly.

>>8890619
The first bowl will land safely but the others will smash against it.

>>8890611
This but make two cuts. A circular cut to support the weight with your hand and cut the rest of the glass out so you can insert your hand inside without removing the support.

>>8890554
not an engineering problem.

>>8890623
What are they dropping with the force of an elephant. If you make a hammock like net/cushion you should be fine.

Open it just barely enough to stick a wire hanger in and be careful as fuck while you move the plates back onto the shelf.

>Disaster averted.

>>8890646
Sure thing spiderman.

>>8890554
Remove a pane and dump a shitload of styrofoam in.

>>8890554
drop them into a tub viscous liquid, more viscous than water but it needs to be newtonian. with something soft at the bottom
or open the door to the right and reach across

>>8890656
If necessary, get on a stepladder and pour from the topmost pane. Then once the cabinet is just about completely full, fish out the dishes one at a time..

>>8890554
lay the cupboard on its back before opening it

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>>8890554
>superhigh IQ
>unable to solve this simple problem.

Get a table cloth and slip it between the door, and then tighten it. After this fold the table cloth backwards underneath itself and tighten it, so that it traps the falling objects. This will prevent your cheap forgery china from going shit and your girlfriend from beating you tonight.

>>8890554
Gently place the cabinet on the floor in order to let the plate pile slowly stack up on the opposite site of the door without breaking it. With enough men/means of supporting the cabinet it can be done without breaking anything

>>8890656
>>8890662
This. Anything else is too risky.

>>8890683
*"toggle" or "tip", not "place", english isn't my mother tongue sry

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>>8890554

>>8890593
>he can never have a bowl of soup in his life again

>>8890599
This desu

>>8890694
Be honest tho, most people don't take out the fine china every day for fear of it breaking. Nothings really changed in that regard.

>>8890656
Beat me to it. But instead of removing a pane, unscrew the entire top of the cabinet and pour the stuff in. Assuming it can be unscrewed.

>>8890693
That's one hell of a roundabout compliment.

>>8890693
> so what i got fucked by dozens of chads in college, it made me who i am today!
More like kintscuckuroi

>>8890777
Why is /r9k/ this obsessed with Chad?

>>8890554
Not an engineer, but assuming they are sufficiently important, id remove the glass pane underneath and hold a pillow "up" against them as i slowly open the door.

Not a very hard problem to solve.

>>8890554
Buy new plates. I can afford them because I'm an engineer, not a scientist.

>>8890554
very carefully

>>8890554
Coathanger and two soft towels

Tilt the cabinet slowly and lie it on its back

>>8890554
According to my calculations, you would need 15 jello packets to fill that space.

Just fill it in the top, wait until the jello sets, open the door and dig out all your China.

>>8890554
open it very quickly and catch them

fill the cabinet with water and lie it on its back. Open the door and pick up the floating plates.

>>8890554
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83nFiPoSuzU

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>>8890554
The bowls are pretty deep and have that lip on the base. I'd crack open the door a tiny bit, slid my hand in and move them up.

Not difficult really.

>>8890554
.Break the glass at the top and secure the plates
.if the bowls are less than the width of your forearm, you can actually open the cupboard slowly and obtain them while keeping pressure on the cupboard door.
.if the bowls are more plate like you can still open the cupboard but you will need a sturdy utensil to push them back up onto the shelf (pipe would work best)
.if those dont work and the cupboard is removable, lift it off the wall with a partner and tilt it to allow for cupboard access
.if all those fail, purchase a new, secondary and identical cupboard and fine China set to mimic your old one (be sure to place a lip at the front of the shelf so that the plates cannot topple again.
If all else fails, try to restart your computer. Any questions? Consult the windows help center!

>>8890554
By not being a retard that stacks a dosin unstable bowls with small footpeieces on top of each other.

>>8890585
This. Some faggot will buy it for thousands of dollars.

Grab a buddy and very carefully tilt the cupboard horizontally. The likely case is the few plates closest to the glass might brake, but the rest will be stable.

>>8890675
Literally this

>>8890675
You'd break the other plates moron.

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>>8890554
Get a glass cutter
Cut a circular opening in the upper pane.
Remove plates
Replace glass
?????
PROFIT

>>8890554
Just buy new bowls

>>8890554
Draw a picture of neatly stacked bowls, and send it down to the technicians.

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>>8890554
>forget
LITERALLY THIS! Simply ignore them. Shut out all thought.
Forget them.

Grab them by the pussy

>>8890554
1. move cabinet carefully away from wall
2. slide out backwall
3. Remove plates from behind
4. replace backwall

>>8891219
>1. move cabinet carefully away from wall
You broke the plates. Nice.

>>8891222
What part about careful did you not understand?

Also nice trips

Looks like a sliding door, so inch the door over to the right gradually until you can reach the plates.

>>8890554
Bore a hole in the glass and empty a bunch of spray foam cans through it

Then take a hammer and a saw and break it all apart to retrieve the bowls

Then drop the foam-coated bowls in vats of acid

Then buy new bowls

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>>8890554
Fill it with some highly viscous fluid, then just turn it on its back and open the door. Remove the plates and the fluid. Problem solved.

Lower the whole cupboard on it's back.

In theory it should work. In practice it might not. But I'm a math guy so I don't care about tolerances.

>>8890597

But a sub-system could be made stable if one introduces a feedback mechanism.

Are you all blind?

It's obviously a sliding door, not a swinging one.

Slowly slide the door open enough to get an arm in the crack, hold the bowls up while you open the door the rest of the way.

>>8891244
I like this one. OP you better fucking deliver with this one.

>>8891255
The bowls aren't just pushing against the door, there is also the previous bowls that come around from the side like domino blocks. If you would slide the door, then the bowls will be pushed sideways and some if not all of them will fall.

>>8891244
>ruin the entire cupboard by staining it with some shit fluid
Terrible idea

>>8891278
There are enough possible candidates that wouldn't ruin it, like clear jelly or gelatin.

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>>8890554
Opening the door is inevitable in any scenario. In this scenario we will concentrate on minimizing the damage.
1) get a rectangular sheet of steel (2-3mm), thin plywood might work too.
2) One person opens the cabinet door just slightly, so the other person can slip the sheet of steel from the bottom.
3) When 2nd person positions the sheet at a needed height, the 1st person can open the cabinet door completely.
4) While the 2nd person is holding the sheet against the plates, the 1st person just picks plates from above.
5) Crisis averted

>>8890554
smash the fuckin bowls. im not letting some cheeky bowls stop me from using my cupboard

>>8890554

The fact it's a sliding door means that there's going to be another door to the right. Open this door, then gradually disassemble the stack from the back.

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>>8890554
>invest in diving equipment
>seal the room
>flood the room with water
>open the cabinet and rearrange the bowls as the gentle movements in the water prevents them from shattering
Easy

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>>8890700
>>8890599
Then I guess we could say you clowns are theoretically already dead?

>>8890554
Buy a rocket. Enter space with the cupboard. Under no gravity the plates won't fall, allowing you to rearrange them. fall back down to earth. move the cupboard back to where it was.

This should still cost slightly less than replacing all the fine china.

>>8890599
Schrödingers cupboard

>>8891448

No. You can clearly see them. The wave function has collapsed and the plates are clearly not broken, yet.

>>8891454
It's a time lapse thing. They will break or not, once you open it. Schrödinger's dishes.

>>8890554

>Undo hinges of glass door
>Slide glass door up so it still holds the bowls
>Reach into the cabinet from underneath and push the bowls back into place or remove them in a controlled fashion

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Didn't read the thread, pretty sure someone posted as it is obvious answer. Crack open the sliding door a little bit and then:
a) take a bunch of balloons and one by one fill the lower part with them
b) take a roll of open cell foam, cut it to reasonable sized pieces and squeeze them through to lower part, get it packed.
All that is left to open the cabinet door more, so the hand could reach those plates and take them out one by one.

>>8891497
>Crack open the sliding door a little bit
Oh no, you shattered the plates.

You guys are morans

Open the cupboard next to it, remove the wooden panel in between the two cupboards/cut a hole into it if necessary

put hand through hole and pick up the plates

>>8891523
I don't want to destroy my antique Chinese cupboard.

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>>8891500
oh no, you're fucking faggot.
Just use the sliding door on the other side to pack it up with balloons or foam.
Problem solved.

>>8891523
>destroy two cupboards to potentially save some shitty plates
>we are the "morans"

>>8891529
You're the one who got the plates stuck

and if you do it right you just end up with one big cupboard instead of two

>>8890554
Smash and buy another set.

Blame the cost consultant for the loss, and keep any that remain to eat my supermarket ready meal deal for two.... alone in a single portion

>>8890554
Looks like there's some sort of room behind it, probably go over there.

>>8890781
Fantasizing cuckolds.

>>8890554
Seriously?
Pull it away from the wall and then have someone help you lean it back so you can open it and recover everything.

>>8891364
best answer itt

Deglaze pane on right and remove from that direction

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>>8890554
Broken glass is just non-broken glass reassembled, if you collect all the broken pieces and put them together they contain the same amount of atoms.

>>8891250
>>8890832
>>8890675

These are the only non-brainlet answers.

Everyone else is eligible for a job in administration though.

>>8891623
Cupboards are literally fastened with screws that can only be accessed from inside the cupboard. Literally nonsense answers.

>>8891624

>Cupboards are literally fastened with screws

1. Where do you get that from? It is not said anywhere. Cupboard are usually stand alone furniture with legs and shit.

2. Cuttings screws with a thin hacksaw is way cheaper than ruining the cupboard.

>>8891630
your hands, I think everyone can confidently assume, are growing out of your ass.

Accept the loss of your dishes and begin a search for replacements.

Remove side panel
Grab plates
Put side panel back on

>>8890554

> Get a couple of guys
> Lift the cupboard very gently into an "on its back" position
> Open door
> Profit
> Speak up against internet censorship and feminist sex laws

>>8891672
Where do you get those "guys"?

>>8891674
People you know, friends and family, dipshit.

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Teach Buddhism. Attachment to physical goods causes suffering.

Just get a big enough container, fill with water, lay paper towels over the water and open the door. Geez laweez Fox.

>>8891364
Keked right when I read the first sentence, bravo m8

>>8890554
spider senses

>>8890554
you cant

>>8890554
>Altering a system in equilibrium

Its like you want to break them

Supposing there was no way to save the bowls. Opening the door would guarantee they dropped, and smash.

Does that mean they're broken already?

>>8890554
Looks like there's an opening in the glass. Just stick one hand through to support it then open the door slightly so that you can push all the dishes back into place.

>>8890554
Never open it for the remnant of my life
Checkmate

Instead of moving the objects in the system, why not move the system itself?

As in, Tilt the whole cupboard backward.

>>8891678
Like they have any of those

>>8890554
Open the door and whatever breaks, breaks
You never actually said I had to save all/any of the bowls

>>8890554
move the cupboard(looks empty besides these basins)? but this is no guarantee..

>>8890781
IRL mindbreak.

>>8890554
Launch it into space and open

>>8890554
I bet my reflexes are fast enough
I would initiate trial by fire

>>8890554
Those are sliding doors, so it should be pretty simple really. Just slide it open enough to get your hand in.

>>8890554
I'd lay the entire thing on its back on the ground very carefully.

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>>8890554
It's time for me to ask BigGovernment to fund a containment contingency plan for my BigMess™, pic related.

You know what? They will thank me for it.

p.s. Physics cucks, please go fuck yourselves.

>>8890554
If only there was a TV show where Elon Musk and a few of his team go around solving this type of problem.

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>>8890554
solved.

>paint the glass panels black
>erase your memory
>open the cabinet and see the collapse of the bowl's wave function
>if the bowl falls and break, go back in time and erase your memory

>>8892148
or just remove the glass above the circled one and not make it a fucking rubix cube by requriing "some kind of pole"

>>8890554
1) Forget about that specific case and instead consideral the general case of n plates falling down
2) Prove that there always exists a way to solve it
3) Walk away, knowing I have already done enough

>>8891255
my thought exactly

put out a drop cloth and remove any other fragile things from the area. let the fallen dishes finish falling and clean up. then take the lessons learned and apply corrective measures.

>>8890583
Look at the side it opens from though, it's not flush. You wouldn't be able to squeeze your hand into it until it was already quite open.

drill a hole in the top and pump in an expanding foam or gel that will set and also dissolve in something that won't harm the glaze/paint of the dishes.

then you can safely remove the block full of dishes and safely extract them at a later date.

>>8890599
beat me to it

>>8892277
it's not flush because it's a sliding door. look at the handle.

Place a soft mattress under the cupboard. Open the cupboard, and the bowls will fall on the mattress.

>>8890554

lay cabinet down on the floor gently enough that the dishes don't shatter, open cabinet door up like a wine cellar, remove all dishes, stand cabinet up again, sell dishware and move to somewhere geologically stable where I don't have to worry about earthquakes and shit.

>>8890554
Lay the cupboard on its back and take out the bowls

>>8890554
actually pressing against the sliding door while opening it to slide in a hand will surely work, maybe you break the door out of it's rail a little bit, but that broken off wood is easier to fix than broken plates

>>8890840
okay tardass it would take atleast 20 if not more

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Drill a small hole in the glass.
Use stick to push the plates back into position.

Solved.

>>8890558
Occam's razor at it again

/thread

>>8890559
That fucking got me

>>8890554
Autism pills

>>8890554
Blame little sister

>>8890554
Move the whole cabinet so that it is lying on it's back and when I open in the china doesn't fall, take the china out, set the cabinet back up right and put the china back in.

>>8890694
at least his life is stable

ALSO, FUCK CHAPTA

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>>8890554
How has nobody suggested the obvious solution: a bakelite infusion?

>>8890675
I refuse to believe someone who shitposts on /sci/ is strong enough to pick up the cabinet and put it down on its side carefully enough to avoid breaking anythin.

>>8891678
>implying I have friends
H-Haha, you've been tricked, i-idiot.

>>8890554
seal the door shut with caulking, drill hole in top of cupboard away from dishes, fill cupboard with water until they are floating or settled safely at the bottom. Retrieve from top.

>>8890777
Trips of truth

Use magnets.

>>8890720
Haha fucking poor people you clumsy fucks

>>8890586
A++ solution

Engineers, sucking the dick so we don't have to

Place on large spinning arm. Spin fast enough till the forces pull plates to back of cabinet. Restack while spinning.

Alternatively, launch into orbit so tje people on the ISS get some nice dinnerware

>>8890678
>and your girlfriend from beating you
>implying nugirls give two shits about china

How privileged and racist and sexist of you.
REAL women know as much about good china as they do about cooking dinner.

It's far more important to figure out how many genders you can fuck before settling down with a good man who can cook for you and raise your black babies and engineer solutions to save falling dinnerplates but girls can engineer too and probably better so don't forget it.

Seal the room enterily, make a hole in the roof and get some scuba gear.
Pump water into the room until water level reaches the hole on the roof, dive in, open door and plates will slowly sink to the bottom, you can easily pick them up now.

>>8890554
looks like japeinese plates

those niggas think it's worth more if they broke n shit

drill a large hole into the glass on the right side of the rightmost bowl and a large hole right in the center of the left bowl

put hands through hole and save the plates

just a quick brute force solution, no need to thank me

open cabinet, catch plates
donezo

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Open the door and watch them all crash, play this for effect, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLv7wqYWiBE
Then I hide a bunch of stuff like snowboards, bikes, jewelry, first editions, sex dolls, etc.
Then call the police, tell them to come and make a report because some gangsters broke into my house and vandalized/stole things. Then file an insurance claim and wait for all my new stuff to come in the mail. If plates arrive broken I take it as a sign from God and change my ways. Otherwise I give random people, friends, and family the newly arrived goods as gifts.

Likewise, if I don't feel like dealing with the police or insurance, which I love to do as they are generally fun to interact with, I simply burn my house down with me in it and problem officially solved.

>>8890801
This.

>>8890554
Lay the cupboard on its back and just open it up.

>>8895721
>it has already been said
This is what I get for read the first 15 posts and calling it a day. Why did I cuck myself like this? Oh, bother.

Carefully heat the glass until it is red hot. Use a HERF gun to melt the glass.

>>8891550
Just open the door and end up with thousands of little bowls instead of a few big ones

>wait until the end of the universe and the associated big crunch
>crunch brings all matter in the universe back together and creates a zero dimensional singularity of identical mass to the one which forged our universe
>wait for another big bang
>because the singularity has the same properties, the new universe will unfold in exactly the same way as the previous iteration
>from there I only need to wait another 16 billion years or so to enjoy my fine china again

Problem solved. Sure it'll eventually get stuck against the door again but I only need to wait for the next cycle before I'm enjoying my bowls once more.

>>8890554
If you can open the door about 2mm, you could fiddle strong wire through the slit and use superglue to attach each of the falling plates to one of the wires. Then you can open the door slowly and have the plates carefully slide down. Finally you'll have to remove the super glue chemically, and you're done.

>>8891201
>be a techncian who just read this
>engineers do this type of shit all the time
REEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>8890554
Open just a little bit and use a broomstick or something to move/hold the falling ones.
Or don't, and improve them
>>8890693
>duplicate file exists

open the cabinet next to it, drill a small hole into the problem cabinet. take 2 skinny solid sticks, fold a piece of paper or cloth around them, insert sticks into hole expand them to support the weight of the chink bowls, open problem cabinet slowly. Repair the small hole.

>>8896256
That is where your wrong kiddo.
Big crunch will actually have stirred the bag and so the atomic composition will be very different and at a lower energy propensity.

First turn off gravity. The open door carefully so the bowls do not float off into the ceiling where they will be hard to reach. Make sure you get all the lose items before turning gravity back on again.

Really, this is the only /sci/ approach valid on this board.

t. Physicist

>>8890554
Pillows.

>>8890554
If you have quick reflexes, open and be quick. Otherwise, make a thread on /sci/ and ask for help.

>>8890554

Solve what? It's a picture. I don't see a problem with a picture.

>>8890554
Carefully remove the cupboard from the wall. Carefully carry it up to a high mountain or structure, and secure a bungee cord to the cupboard and to yourself. Carefully slide the cupboard off the edge, jumping at the same time. In the few seconds of freefall you have before aerodynamic drag becomes a significant factor, open the cupboard and secure the weightless bowls. If you don't have quick hands and need more time, you may want to launch from a high-altitude balloon instead, in the thin upper reaches of the atmosphere. And don't forget your pressure suit.

Open it very quickly, like in 1 ms or so, then use slow motion vision to catch them all while they're falling.
Let a friend shoot a picture of you failing to make a "why cant I hold all these plates" meme and sell this meme to buy new plates.

>>8891364
Water filled houses are the best childhood fantasy.

Wait until the earth rotates a certain amount

Then I would be able to stack the problem bowls easily and remove them from the system.

Every time I apply force equal to gravity perpendicularly to a set of bowls, the process repeats.

>>8899964
>Wew lads for all of the talking about brainlets and intelligence you lot sure are retarded as fuark.
I hope you realize that pretty much everyone in this thread was joking, and that you're not more intelligent, just more autistic.

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>>8900038
>Mfw brainlets get mad because they can't figure out a basic problem

>>8892148
I'll give you some kind of pole anon ;)

>>8890599
Schrodingers china, it exists in a state of superposition. its both broken and whole untill you open the cabnet and collapse the wave function

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I just open it

>>8890777
~~if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best~~

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Here are some questions?
-do the plates have an emotional worth?
| if yes, cut the cabinet glass with a glass cutter.

| If no, then try to open the cabinet while sliding your hands in and try to temp fate.

>>8891623
Yeh hold on let me just either tilt my house or remove this whole cabinet from the wall and in doing so probably break all the shit anyway. Dumb.

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>>8890599

>>8890554
open slightly allowing the bowls to fall one at a time and catch them as they do so.

>>8890840
Jello does not set at room temperature.

Just demolish the building

This is why I only own metal bowls.