greetings human! you have been selected as the representative

>>8856519
>You guys are probably smarter, but not principally different. You have science, we have science, you apparently have language and so do we. You have a society, so do we. We are on the verge of developing AI and probably genetic enhancements so we aren't nowhere near our peak. Yes, we might have blundered a little bit with our CO2 production, but you can help us with that, surely. Also we'd be very grateful if you share some knowledge with us - as we are a curious species. I am sure you can learn interesting things from us too - we have great music, art and thought. Let's be friends.

1+2+3+4+...=-1/12

>>8856531
well said! as a formality i will need you to also calculate primes up to 2 million on this whiteboard and we will establish a treaty between our people.

Fuck off baloonhead we're full.

Fuck off space niggers.

>>8856541
Our brains have evolved to deal with spacial and abstract concepts.We can do mathematical calculations, but its not terribly fast, so we usually rather design machines using our brains, and let them perform those tedious tasks. Much more efficient. Here's a computer program that computes your request. I can do it by hand too, but just the writing will take days at best.

>>8856519
>you must show our galactic senate the reasons as to why your planet shouldn't be harvested and your people exterminated.
You should ask from your mom what happened last night, bitch.

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>>8856519
I wanna fuck you alien.

>>8856519
Try it, shit for brains.
You cunts will find out why no other alien species has ever bothered us. Cannot wait to torture you insectoids in our prison camps. Enjoy making the worst decision of your lives you piece of shits.

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>>8856649
HFY garbage, go back to your dark corner of /tg/.

>>8856519
>your people exterminated

The curse of the eternal Jew.

Are you sure OP?

>>8856519
give us 200 years and we'll be on your level with a little help from you

>>8856519
I think you're a bit confused. My planet and people should absolutely be harvested.

>>8856544
>>8856553
this is called /pol/. They believe the earth is flat and that climate change doesn't exist. You can harvest them for free because they're holding us back

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If you attack Earth, you're going to have a bog problem...

>>8856670
>tripfag
automatic failure

>>8856652
Traitors of the human race will be executed my dead friend.

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>>8856698
WE'RE GOING TO MARS AND MAKE MARS PAY FOR THE TRIP

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>>8856705
Being a xenocidal arse does not make you human.

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>>8856519
Wouldn't you rather have a whole planet of slaves instead of killing us? We can do all the harvesting for you!

>>8856720
Pierce of alien shits started it you dumb ass.
They are making the threats not us.

>>8856732
Collaborators will be shot.

>>8856519

Keep shit and humanity will blow your grey fucking head off. That's not a threat that's a promise.

Dude drugs lmao

A silly human has gaven humanity another chance. He has accessed the divine and is in control of the worlds collective consciousnesses grid. He still has so much to learn before he can teach. Hes the God of Seven, This batch of humans might still be able to reach godhood as a collective. But i highly doubt it. This batch someone spiked with that quantum game mechanics crap and simulation theory. And a triple sect dose of religion. Which is 2 doases to much. But the first dose should of been enough to show them the way, as in, find the codes, they be drinking to much of that cult god koolaid. Every god knows the basics. You wouldnt see a super god ever make that mistake in his universe creation.

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>>8856519
DISQUALIFIED

>>8856519
I didn't bring a calculator you cuck.........I brought my AK47....bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang

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>>8856670
>tripfag
>never seen post about space niggers
>bringing up /pol/ for no reason
>thinking a bunch of shitposting wage slaves are holding back the development of science
>implying there are more flat earth threads on /pol/ than on /sci/

really jingled my jimjams

>>8856519
These retarded threads are still up while the slightest /pol/ related (not even political) threads get nuked without hesitation.

>>8856519
We know where you are, and we are coming for you.

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>>8856519

>>8856781
>The god of seven

Explain what you know

>>8856836
Cry more crossposting faggot.

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>>8856519
Listen you bunch of stupid fucks. If you were going to harvest us you would have done so already. You are scared that we are superior to you. You don't want to attack directly until you know how advanced we are in relation to you. Yes, we are superior to you. Yes, we will wipe you out if you try any shit with us at all. GFTO off our frequency. Do not come here. Do not reply to this message. Replying to this message will be seen as an act of aggression for violating our frequencies. If you do we will consume you and your resources sooner than what we have already planned.

>>8856519
>not principally different
You're retarded.
Thanks for getting us killed, mate.

>>8856519
>recite the first zeta zero to 100 decimals

earth is saved

>>8856869
Kys

>>8856798
WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB MORTY

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>>8856519

one of our best civilizations has developed subdimensionals perfect sexual partner replacement, its works pretty well in a huge group of people in our modern lifestyle.

if this "waifu" technology works great in our society, you guys who dismissed the idea of phisycal sexual intercourse for reproduction thousands years ago could work perfect too.

>>8856675
underrated post

>>8856670
this is what we call "sadposting". It's perpetrated by tripfags, the most mentally damaged people in our planet.

>>8857216
I'll take tripfags over poltards. GTFO with your global warning and bill nye bullshit.

>>8856670
Why the fuck are you tripfagging?

>>8857216
Someone is leaving floating nodes, I'll sink those all day

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Why are ayyliums humanoid?

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>>8856519

>*Flexes muscles*

>You mirin', brah?

*Intergalactic bro duel ensues*

>>8858887

Because humans came up with the design, and thus we make humanoids as they are much easier to relate to. It's why harder to create a species from zero that have to do what alleged intelligent creatures do without a humanoid form.


Imagine a freaking a cross between a Cayman and an Elephant with space travel capabilities, how do you design for something like that? You have to invent everything, from culture to infrastructure starting with literally nothing.

>>8856519

This reminds me of a scene in a book called "Have Spacesuit - Will Travel"

>>8856519
>you must show our galactic senate the reasons as to why your planet shouldn't be harvested and your people exterminated. calculators are not permitted
Easy let me unzip my pants

>>8856519
>>8856531
I'd probably start with something like:
>Ok. What are the constraints of this test? What are your values? What do you value in other civilizations which would make you decide to not destroy them?

>PS: Harvest our society? Isn't that, like incredibly inefficient as a source of power and resources compared to whatever power sources you must use?

>>8856519
Sounds like its time to Space Jam and we got some ballers you short pale bitches

*passes the blunt*

>>8856553
>>8856519
You can crash on the moon though

Oh, you want me to show you a reason not to harvest us?
>*unzips pants*
>*teleports behind the galactic senate*
pssh, nothing personnel, kids
>*rapes each member of the senate one by one, giving all of them AIDS*
What now, faggots?

>detonate nuclear suicide vest

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I'd like to refer you to this well made documentary.

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>>8856519
Cuz that wud be bad
I luv jesus
He loves yu mr ayy lmao
Find it in ur heart
>also the law of one

>>8856732
Cuck

>>8856531
>>8856590
lmao this is some top tier cringe

>>8856519
Harvesting our planet and exterminating humanity would violate the NAP.

Hitler was right.

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PURGE XENOS

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>>8856798
>>8856999

>>/reddit/

>>8856519

1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 5 ... (etc) = -1/12

Just make it quick.
:D

>>8856519
>Whatever alien dudes. Just let me finish eating my pizza first.

>>8856675
>>8856911
I like it

>>8856911
if only we had dark age of technology levels of military defensive capabilities.

we would be fucked currently in a military conflict with any species capable of interstellar travel.

>measuring the value of existence by intellect
>implying the intellect of a creature makes its life more valuable

fucking retarded lmaos

>>8856531
> we have great music, art and thought.
> art and thought
> thought

into the trash harvester you go

>>8858927
false faggot
we evolved this way because it was efficient and effective, it makes sense for aliens who are also efficient and effective to have evolved similarly to us, despite potential atmospheric differences

>>8856519
Our planet is a tiny chunk of rock that doesn't have any unique resources to harvest aside from that produced by life, all of which can be farmed with the right equipment.

If our people concern you, they are fairly easily manipulated by promises of a better life, which can be provided at no cost to you aside from information about technologies that may be quite outdated among your race but that will pacify them enough to not only do your bidding but also to provide for themselves so you don't have to use your own material resources on them.

>>8856519
Interuniversal Teichmuller theory :^)
Nah just kidding senpai but we did the Atiyah-Singer index theorem like fifty years ago so we should be good. Right?

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>>8856519
Check this out! Isn't he funny? We call him "pepe"!

>>8856519
i can change base 10 numbers into base 2

>>8862626
Humans share ancestry with tree dwellers, thus we have our arms. If you could imagine a planet with no trees, the aliens would have no reason to have arms like ours. Further, what would an aquatic alien species look like? Definitely not like us.

>>8859635
seek help please

>>8856519
You just said a lot of stuff but you have yet to give me a reason to care about the fate of the human race.

If anything I would recommend simply waiting for us to off ourselves and save yourselves the trouble of doing it yourself. As it happens we can be quite hard to kill on an individual basis and the amount of force required to exterminate the populace in one go would likely render any resources that you wish to gather inaccessible for an extended period of time or completely destroy them if you're looking for organics specifically (which is highly probable considering non organic resources are pretty bountiful off-earth and could be more easily be harvested on other planets, planetoids, asteroids, and comets in the local system).

Just play the waiting game and we'll collect all the resources for you then kill ourselves off when one of our nations decides it's having an irreparably bad day.

tl;dr
Fuck you pay me

>>8862689
Could an aquatic species even realistically evolve to sentience?

I mean I'm given to understand that using tools is what caused our brains to develop, most likely. Water isn't so conducive to the development and use of tools.

>>8856519
If your reply to me your race will die in their sleep tonight

>>8856519
define "permitted"

>>8856519
>calculators
You're familiar with our technology eh? I guess that means you already know how this will go...
Now fuck off

>>8856531
Sorry it appears you are a planet of cucks, pretty embarrassing desu. Time to die.

>>8863051
*le tips*

>>8856519
If you killed earth millions of jews would die and you would never hear the end of it and then would be guilt tripped into having your alien women getting raped by musaliens. Around jews you always lose, best go back to ALPHA centauri.

>>8856590
>evolved
Oh shit, negro. Now the aliens plan to raze the planet for its heresy. Nice job

>>8863106
>ALPHA centauri.
We can't go back right now. The fungus does this wierd shit every couple million years where it grows into a neural network and makes the planet sentient

I'm a scientist but I'm also a bitter human being who hates humanity. If given the chance I'd probably urge them to vaporise us all.

>>8856519
> Calculators are not permitted
> My sides

>>8863128
> I'm a cuckold but I'm also a bitter cuck being who hates himself.

Shortened that right down for you.

>>8856519
>planet harvested
If you actually need to harvest my planet then you're just a bunch of retarded ayy lmaos.

>>8863271
Could just mean harvested for the gibs.

>Harvested
For what? You can get for more of any raw material in any gas giant

>>8856911
For a second I thought I was back on /tg/

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Show them the pinnacle of earth culture, of course.

>>8862689

>aquatic alien
>technological

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>>8856519
Senate? We are the Senate. We will wipe you to dust, alien mongoloid. We will force half of your population to eat another half and then the rest will be fed to our pigs. Die.

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>>8863801
>>8862899
*blocks your path*

>>8856519
[math] \it Biology is not a real Science. It's for women. [/math]

>>8863801
cephalopod fans btfo

>>8856821
>Not 30 bangs

>>8856590
Oh so humans are retarded then? Goodbye. Rest in Peace hooman

>>8863953
> \text{}

>>8856531
>but you can help us with that, surely. Also we'd be very grateful if you

>aliens threaten your life
>you start asking for shit

Just give me your fusion reactor plans. It doesn't matter if we, or rather, a human, didn't create them. You yourself frequently use hundreds of forms of technology you didn't personally create. Did you invent the suit you are wearing? The ship you came here on? The meal you had last? I didn't invent my personal examples of those things either, but I and billions of others use them all the time just fine. Give me your fusion reactor plans, and I will show you that humanity can use them like they made the plans themselves. I guarantee we'll be making improvements to them before long, too.

>>8862899

Dolphins are sentient. They can't do shit because they have no hands.

>>8856519
It was our civilization that discovered that life is a spectrum.

I'll suck yo dick if you don't harvest our planet

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Don't harvest me -
I'm a 6'3" chef at Wendy's making 8.25$ an hour and have a 10inch cock

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Fuck off space-nigger. We do not want your anal probes and saucers and shit.

Find the indefinite integral of sin(x)cos(x) then space commie

>>8856519
>takes shit
>entire alien armada dies of disease in hours

>>8864131
Fusion reactors? We haven't used those in thousands of years, awfully inefficient. The fact you are requesting one for your kind to use is a testiment to how primitive you humans are. Blippty bloo, we're gonna harvest you.

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>>8856519
space nigger

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>>8856670
From /pol/, cannot confirm

>>8856519
>weaponize particle accelerate r
>fire earths entire supply of dark matter at alien craft
>aliens BTFO

>>8866565
>implying the ayy lmaos didn't glue your asshole shut as a routine first contact procedure

>>8856519
If you were so advanced you wouldn't need to harvest us. Clearly this is some kind of xeno trick. Go ahead and try, but we will make our resources to costly to harvest by poisoning the earth

>>8856519

Do it, I don't give a fuck.

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>>8866637

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>>8856519
how many holes do you have? because i want to fuck every one of them.

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>>8868184
But anon, our society follows the enlightened wisdom of NoFap+. We developed artifical reproductive organs, outlawed sexual Intercourse, and stopped reproducing female zygotes eons ago. Masturbation or attempted masturbation without a special, duly issued government permit is among the most heinous crimes on our world.

>>8856519
"steals your technology"
heh
"uses said technology to destroy you and enslave you"
pssh like taking candy from a baby

>>8869071
You may harvest our cuckolds.

>the first man to get in contact with ayys will become more popular than jesus
Or forever forgotten as he manages to start a war that lasts 5 minutes, ending with a destroyed planet earth.

>>8869113
Fuck off Gordon, get over yourself.

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>>8856519

BANE?

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lol

>>8856670
> implying /pol/ is wrong

>>8870527
You're a cuck

>>8856519
*harvests you*
nothin personnel

>>8856590
ZAP

>>8856649
ZAP

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Two options really
>I want to fuck aliens, also can you turn me into a girl?
and
>We'll irreparably destroy the planet before you get the chance to harvest it you faggot, now get the fuck outta my face before I tell sec you were hitting me and I throw water on you

>>8856649
Lemme tell you something. I'm from Buenos Aires and I say, kill 'em all!

what do you all reckon the odds of this post coming from an actual alien are

>>8873445
not 0

>>8856649
This made me want to read some HFY, thanks anon

>>8856732
Fucking quisling

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>>8856519
they would either already know due to telepathy, or I would explain a logical answer that they would not be able to refute. I keep that one in my back pocket.

>>8862689
Those would never reach space. First one because, obviously, they need to not be able to manipulate tools, but also be very proficient at it.
Second one because without fire you're fucked.

You fucked up, space niggers.
DEUS VULT

>>8856519
"Let me tell you about the jews."

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>>8860579

>>8863776
*farts*

>>8866591
The cleanest and most efficient form of energy production in the universe can never become outdated. Nice try at trying to trick me, though.

>>8856553
you fucking got me on that one you shitty ass faggot
lol'd hard on that one

>>8856519
0.999... = 1

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>>8874333

>>8874422
Plot twist: the aliens are Jewish

>>8859505
Maybe they want to do it for shits and giggles

>>8864114
>implying humans aren't the niggers of space

>>8874647
>Plot twist: the aliens are Jewish

>Plot twists, they are panentheist taoist shamans.

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>>8874714
>Plot twist: the aliens are Jewish

>Plot twists, they are panentheist taoist shamans.

Yes, and?

>>8874714
>implying judiaism didn't come from space aliens
I expected better on the science board.

>>8856519
Because we have nukes and we can hurt aliens feelings online.