Scientifically, which side is more useful and efficient?

The side you are most comfortable with in your day to day life.

>>8833012
From where the user is normally situated, position B. However, if this roll is hanging at some elevation above the user's eyes, position A would be more optimal.

I have a degree in toilet paper, because shitty community colleges offer little bullshit degrees like that.

>>8833012
B, because it takes less energy to reach.

>>8833012
b

easier to pull, less chance of accidental rip, easier to control number of squares

B

When your tear a piece off the roll with B, you are pushing against the roll, thus stabilizing it. With A you are pulling straight down and across, causing the roll to unravel further.

Here's the real question.

When you wipe, do you sit or stand?

>>8833126
Who the fuck stands?

>>8833126

If you stand you close your butt cheeks and access to your sphincter. You also risk squashing any remaining turd pieces being squashed between your cheeks and spreading themselves increasing the surface area requiring cleaning.

Who the fuck stands?

>>8833012
>using a roller in the first place

>>8833126
I stood until maybe age 14-16, before eventually realizing it's easier and cleaner to sit. imo the wipe-ass equivalent of pulling your pants all the way down to piss in a urinal.

File: 2cute.png (26KB, 231x149px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 231x149px

>>8833126
I like to stuff as many flat pieces of toilet paper as I can with into my crevice before standing up and doing a jig to apply the required friction. Then, I sit down again to let the toilet paper free and repeat.

>>8833012
A, of course.
It breaks of more easily that way.
B will have pulling more then you might intended.

>not shitting in the shower and stomping the poop down the drain

>>8833139
>>8833144
standing pleb passing thru

I see an opportunity to gouge the masses. Make two kinds of paper, with different tear perforations optimized for either A and B installation.
Then when that does not work (because why should it) sell different roll holders optimized for different techniques. The best model capable of both, and the roll automatically turning based on user preference when it senses your preference.
The Jew achievement award will be mine!

File: TP Brain.png (1MB, 788x1592px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 788x1592px

>>8833012
A = greasy spot on the wall from grubby fingers of morons, slower materials retrieval & more energy efficient.

File: 1491477765277.jpg (106KB, 604x604px) Image search: [Google]

106KB, 604x604px

>>8833454
>less energy efficient.

Fixed. I had one job...

>>8833454
>pulling the roll off the wall every time you grab some paper

>>8833126
no the real question is do you fold or crumple

File: cat toilet paper.jpg (12KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 480x360px

>>8833012
If you have a cat, A.

>>8833868
Get a better cat, then. Mine leaves the toilet paper alone.

File: Japanese Toilet Bidet.jpg (332KB, 1024x1206px) Image search: [Google]

332KB, 1024x1206px

The real question is, why doesn't the rest of the world use the superior modern Japanese toilet?
It has a more efficient butt cleaning system.

https://youtu.be/_Xnm1syPnwE

>>8833800
Just use a screw on knob that is larger diameter than the hole. It isn't rocket science.

File: 1472173411895.gif (2MB, 359x358px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 359x358px

>>8833868
>>8833872
>pets
>not just any pet
>cats
>indoor cats at that

File: 456456546.jpg (23KB, 400x574px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 400x574px

>>8833801
Fold off center so there's more hand coverage. Charmin extra strong with 2 folds = 4 layers of double ply for extra digging strength.

>>8833914
>japan
>originating bidets
Fuck me you have no clue about the world around you.

>>8833950
You're confusing the standalone bidet with the Japanese toilet with integrated bidet.
The modern Japanese toilet is a toilet, bidet and dryer all in one.

>>8833992
You think no one in Europe thought that up...

>>8834000
>The early 1980s saw the introduction of the electronic bidet from Japan

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bidet#History

B clearly

>>8833126
i am a stander. i plant my left leg down and spread my right leg over onto the radiator to get a nice open asshole easy to clean
who the fuck sits? don't you get your hand wet. ewwww...

>>8833151
>he doesn't fully drop his pants to piss

>>8833801
I used to crumple, and then I realized its nowhere near as efficient as folding

File: cEbQnF1.jpg (20KB, 480x270px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 480x270px

>>8833940
Dogs and other pets have their place, but cats will always be this site's animal

>>8833914

The first time I went to japan I never appreciated that I had been needlessly torturing my ass for my whole life.

File: How to fold toilet paper.jpg (521KB, 2106x2220px) Image search: [Google]

521KB, 2106x2220px

this is objectively the best method of wiping, 4 squares, folded into a pentagon, covers your entire hand and allows up to 3 passes to minimize waste

Detachable showerhead

>>8834426
>>8833801

This is apparently a transatlantic divide. Europeans invariably fold, Americans crumple.

>>8835435

Is tp rationed in your shithole of a country or something? I like to use at least half a roll even if I just had a piss.

I personaly both enjoy and find more efficient sticking your middle finger with a single piece around it up your butthole to both clean external and internal dejection.

Save the planet and stick it

>>8835499
Do you have some kind of mega toilet that can handle flushing half a roll everytime?

File: 1492144707476.jpg (74KB, 600x771px) Image search: [Google]

74KB, 600x771px

>>8834290

File: 1488525971415.png (727KB, 782x720px) Image search: [Google]

727KB, 782x720px

>>8833152

>>8833012
I would say, using basic triangle force diagrams, that side B (assuming you're pulling straight down) is the most efficient because you don't introduce a horizontal force.

>standing masterrace
how the fuck do you sit and wipe simultaneously?

>>8835558
You lean to one side tard, standing up would spread shit

>>8835561
how much shit do you have stuck in your ass? lmao

>>8835565
Depends, sometimes it gets stuck on the way out, need to take in more fiber I guess, been a real pain lately

>>8835570
>>8835565
>tfw you can't get that last little piece to come around the corner ;^;

>>8833152
No matter what board I'm on, the hygiene discussions always get weird. Like, wtf

>>8833152
I recently discovered this technique. Indisputably the best approach.

B) is my anwser sine its closer to ur hand

>>8833126
>Wipe
Lol no.
Here is how it is done pay attention kids.
>take one peice of tp
>one(1)
>poke index finger through the middle
>use index finger with to skirt to fling scrape and poke poo poo into submission
>move tp shirt slowly up over the shitfinger
>be sure to leave room for fingernail clean
Congrats ya made it.
This is how I save money

>>8835497
I live in America and have never crumpled in my life. I thought europoors had to pay euros to spray water up their ass?

>>8835435
Teach me

>>8835850
If you can't figure it out from that image god help you

>>8835851
Sorry I'm not from /po/

File: WP_20170418_02_59_00_Pro.jpg (2MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 3264x2448px

>>8835852
Don't worry, I have a degree in this shit!

>>8835499
Are you a female?

>>8835435
>allows up to 3 passes
>wiping multiple times with one wad
that's the most disgusting thing ive ever heard

>>8836663
I can assure you that shit does not phase through the paper, unless it's wet for some reason, then avoid multiple passes

File: tampopo-1428161064419.jpg (101KB, 636x700px) Image search: [Google]

101KB, 636x700px

>>8833032
>>8833034
B. Unless you have a cat.

File: sit down faget.jpg (31KB, 634x536px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 634x536px

>>8833126
>>8833139
>>8833144
>>8833151
Brainlets, please stop.
Sitting is unnatural and not a correct biomechanical movement, squatting/standing is the correct answer from a biological perspective.

Also, watch this video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbYWhdLO43Q

>>8833914
i went to japan, and these things were nasty. it just splashes the poop around your ass area and then does a half ass job of drying it up

>>8835506
I know in some countries toilet paper is tossed in the trash because the plumbing can't handle it flushed

File: Bruce Lee 2.webm (2MB, 1280x690px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1280x690px

So do people actually do this? doesn't it risk your feet slipping into the toilet?

This sounds ridiculous but trust me: use baby wipes. Having a little bit of moisture gives a better clean, and it doesn't hurt if you're chafed or have hemorrhoids. Pat it dry with toilet paper afterwards and it's like you gave your butthole a little sponge bath.

>>8836764
Could also just throw some spit on your toilet paper man

>>8836749
I've done it when constipated beyond all hope. The rectum is aligned to be a straight path in a squatting position, and bent while sitting upright.

Since the full squat is impractical though, you can get some of its effects by going into a sort of skiing pose (standing with bent knees, torso hunched forward)

>>8836776
Well duh, but I mean standing on the toilet and squatting over it

>>8836778
Yeah I've done it when I hadn't shit for days. I think I did end up slipping when stepping off the seat, but my feet didnt go in the bowl

>>8836775
TP doesn't have the structural integrity for it. Liquid water causes it to fragment and leave particles all over your ass

>>8836784
That's why you wipe again to clean that stuff off

File: 1491154985954.png (44KB, 240x254px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 240x254px

>mfw Indian
AMA

>>8833012
ew you guys don't use water and soap?

>>8836803
You use water and soap after you wipe. I use washrags with soap and water after wiping.

>>8833012
B is efficient. A if you have toddlers.

>>8836789
Do you use your right or left hand to wipe shit off your ass?

>>8836900
Left.
Right is for eating.

>>8836915
You're like, a civilized Pajeet

>>8833028
Comfort =/= efficient