ITT: Microscale stories

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>>8817276
Transfers remind me that I'm a brainlet monkey. I always end up not thinking far enough and head and destroying my % yield.

>>8817276

That was a very amusing anecdote OP

Do you have any more interesting stories

>>8817313
Don't beat yourself up over it. We've all been there, bro.

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>Be me
>Betafag technician
>Work for this asshole inorganic chemist
>He's constantly treating me like shit
>One day get revenge, contaminate his reactants
>Finishes making product, looks so proud of himself
>That sucker has no idea
>He goes and gets his NMR
>hfw
>Begin laughing
>ohshitohshitohshit he's confronting me about it
>Quickly make something up "di...did you remember to wipe the modulator clean?" (pray he doesn't know how NMR machine works)
>The dumbass buys it
>Faggot doesn't even redo NMR, can't find the modulator
>laugh my ass of about it with others in the prep room later on

Be nice to your technicians, guys.

bump, want to see more.

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>>8818594
>Be nice to your technicians, guys.
>validate my personal sense of worth to others as the person who knows how the machines work or I'll fucking sabotage you

>>8817276
>organic synthesis
>master race

Pick one and only one. Unless your measure of success is getting fucked and chucked by pharmaceutical companies (if you're lucky)

Materials god here.

>>8820951
I don't know what God did to you to insult him like that, but aren't you guys engineers?

>>8818594
You are a worthless lab monkey and should be flogged in a public square for interfering with actual grown up work

>>8817276
>Do you guys have any similar stories?
Yes, mathematics master race here.

A sheet of paper once fell from my desk.
I immediately bowed down, picked it up and continued my work.

Really got me sweating there.

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>>8821978
kek'd

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>>8822058
wrong reaction pic, but also works

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>>8817276
>be in chemistry class
>do experiment right
>get yeild of target 80% or so
>feel really great about my practical
>everybody else fails
>hahahah
>everybody else fakes their result in their papers.

>>8818594
A little ethyl acetate in the NMR solvent is comedy gold because the first time they think it's a remnant from their column but no matter what they do it always sticks around :^)

>>8817276
>>8822078
>do experiment to determine iron content in a razorblade
>teacher impressed by my lab skills
>calculate results
>101% iron content, o shit
>quickly readjust the mass of the carefully weight out initial lab sample to fit a more sensible 98% before reporting my results
>get A

>>8823122
101% would have been fine. Think about error
>brainlets

>>8818594
>NMR machine

This is why technicians are retarded

Its a fucking instrument

>>8817276
>be biochemist
>I'm computational
>I'm just writing for and if statements while peers are getting cucked in the lab

Feelsgoodman.html

>shitty o-chem highschool class
>fuck was in this flask? I need it
>lol i dunno, clean it with acetone
>fine whatever
>swishy swish
>pour into sink, slop a little
>ain't nobody got time to clean dat shit
>half hour later
>FOOMP
>grey smoke and burning smell from the sink
>fuck was that?
>lol i dunno it's not on fire who cares

>>8817276
>not pre-weighing every single piece of glassware in your lab and labeling it beforehand

>>8824052
>labeling it before you weigh it
brainlets everyone

>>8824075
Lab tape has mass

>>8824075
>Not drawing directly onto the glass with permanent marker

>>8824210
>Implying heavy-ass dye molecule don't have mass

>>8820951
>tfw wanted to become a chemist
>realized the error of my ways and became programmer master race
>don't need to be a pharma wagecuck or make anything illegal
>don't need any physical resources to speak of to make software products

>>8824213
>not superimposing marks onto the glass via sheer willpower so that your brain forcedly remembers the numbers when you look at each one

>>8823030
Damn, I've got to write that one down.

>>8823405
Yeah, but the fucking thing is a machine.

>>8817276
>OhMyGrignard.jpg
Top kek!! :D

>>8817276
>be me
>flithy ecologist
>helping my friend distribute LSD
>weigh out "10,000 micrograms"
>later my friend asks me what happened to 90,000 ug
>realize one of the vials has 100,000 ug in it
>Welp
>some poor, lucky bastard bought acid that will give you a breakthrough with 2 doses.

>>8824229
cont
>tfw regretting my decision everyday
>I'm just a replaceable code-monkey
>wish everyday I could've been a badass chemist, manipulating matter in the lab