/sci/ humor thread?

>>8668254
Kill yourself

>>8668322
That was an unnecessarily hurtful thing to say.

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>>8668254

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let's try to savage this thead...

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>>8668430
does /sci/ often do ylyl? i want to learn new things in a fun and funny setting

>>8668398

omg, fucking awesome

>>8668254
Why do you always start these with the same unfunny image.

My ODE professor told me that Wronski was "an idiot" who got lucky fishing for math processes that could have future applications.

that "Wronskian" was just some stuff he tried but didn't know what to do with at all.

How hones is this?

>>8668619
I seriously hope this isn't from a real project.

>>8668831
how else are you gonna do that? you can't index the array with the strings that getLabel returns...

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>>8668831
Traditionally those pics are made from real world code.

Pic related is from a project I worked on. Guy had a massive ego about how good of a programmer he was which made this even more retarded.

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>>8668613

>>8669041
>you can't do a simple cast from string to int

>>8669108
That looks like C++, and C++ people are generally not taught how casts or strings work.

Nothing quite like seeing an #import <sstream> for simple type conversions.

>>8669109
It looks like java.

>>8669109
>people are generally not taught how casts or strings work.

this is one of the few things a shitty code monkey class on C / C++ will actually teach

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Joke my math teacher used to write on the board.

>>8669271
Your math teacher would write [math]\displaystyle \lim_{x\to0} \frac{8}{x} = \infty[/math]? That's retarded, the limit clearly doesn't exist.

>>8669279
you want it to be plus/minus infinity, right?

>>8669285
it doesn't exist because infinity doesn't exist

>>8669298
Oh no. No no no. Leave that for the Wild threads.

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>>8669298

>>8669279
Therefore the joke is not funny. QED

>>8669098
People should learn boolean algebra before using booleans

>>8669285

It wouldn't be plus/minus infinity. The limit isn't defined you brainlet. The limit is only defined if the left sided and right sided limit approach the same value. -inf != inf last time I checked.

>>8669285
Needs a [math] \lim_{x\to 0^+} \frac{8}{x} = \infty [/math] to be proper abusive notation.

>>8669109
>C++ people are generally not taught how casts or strings work
Any good C++ programmer knows at least intermediate C. And casts with strings are the very basics of C.

Also, there's a fucking std::to_string.

>>8669098
The most mindboggling thing there isn't the lack of Boolean algebra but the introduction of new variables instead of simply interpreting the bools as ints.

http://imgur.com/TghsnOl

>>8668807
10/10

>>8669098
I don't know what scares me more, not storing all these booleans in an array, not knowing how to use them properly as ints, or WHY does he need so much booleans

>>8668430
cringe.

>>8670597
>a dog is a sphere
topologists and physicists bff

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>>8668619
>>8669098

>>8668619
I try to avoid strings so I don't really know syntax/standard ways.
Couldn't you do a quick dirty cast via
int char2digit(char a) return a - '0';

>>8670691
2*9.8m/s^2 right?

>>8670693
Name of this book?

An angel came down for a meeting of the American Philosophical Association. Greeting the philosophers, the angel offered to answer a single question for them. Immediately the philosophers set to arguing about what they should ask. So the angel said, "Alright, you figure out what you want to ask. I'll come back tomorrow." A
> Some of the philosophers favored asking conjunctive questions, but others argued persuasively that the angel probably wouldn't count this as a single question. One philosopher wanted to ask "What is the best question to ask?", in the hope that some day another angel might make a similar offer, at which point they could then ask the best question. But this suggestion was rejected by those who feared that no such opportunity would arise and did not want to waste their only question.
> Finally, the philosophers agreed on the following question: "What is the ordered pair whose first member is the best question to ask, and whose second member is the answer to that question?" Satisfied with their decision, the philosophers awaited the angel's return the next day, whereupon they posed their question. And the angel replied: "It is the ordered pair whose first member is the question you just asked, and whose second member is the answer I am now giving." And then he disappeared.

>Dean, to the physics department: "Why do I always have to give you guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff? Why couldn't you be more like the math department - all they need is pencils, paper, and waste-paper baskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department. All they need are pencils and paper."

>>8670822
>not asking how to construct such pair with second order logic
That's why philosophers are out of job.

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>>8670591
Jesus right in the feels

>>8670822
well at least they didn't waste the question.

can someone post the one about the einstein-rosen bridge? it was a post on /sci/

>>8670693
lmao what book is this from

>>8668619
I fucking love these so much because even if they're made up, you know someone is capable of doing it

>>8668807
I wouldn't blame the topologists for introducing geometry into number theory. Not only are some pretty fundamental results proved entirely geometrically (finiteness of class number), but Grothendieck was the one who decided that ideals should be geometric points.

>>8668254
If you you unironically use )( for x you are truly autistic

>>8670976
>anyone who does things differently than me are autistic
no anon, you are the autism.

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>>8669271
>>8670693
ehehehehehehehehe

>>8670629
>5000x3260
Can you not

>>8669109
dude this is java and it's a fucking one line thing
GUI.cards[Integer.parseInt(a.getLabel())-1];
who isn't taught casting? that's intro shit.

>>8671028
Is that true? Wouldn't there be two circles of different radii that form? The inner one with perimeter pi, the outer with perimeter 4

>>8670633
>WHY does he need so much booleans
Thats even more rage inducing, but doesn't fit in a pic.

The user can add some items to a list, adding an item gives you some windows with settings to customize the item. One of the windows has 12 checkboxes the user can select with the heading 'Select all the applies:'. a_i stores whether a checkbox is ticked, and if any one of them is ticked a single bool (the result of this function) is stored in the item to show that.

Why have 12 checkboxes instead of just 1?
Why have the user check multiple boxes if checking only 1 has the same result?

nobody knows

Ive observed users using the program, and that single window takes more time than all the others when adding an item because everyone reads the whole thing and checks multiple boxes before continuing, which doesn't do anything. But im not in change of the UI, and the guy wont listen to anyone since his code is perfect.

>>8671154
No, the inner circle will always be pi, the other shape, which would never be a circle, will have a perimeter 4.

>>8671154

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coastline_paradox

>>8670795
What's so bad about killing stray cats in the name of science? Shelters euthanize millions every year.

>>8671028
leave this sacred place

>>8668398
I guess you have to understand how Twitter works to get this one. Kek teenagers

>>8668619
I literally did this for an assignment last week.

>>8671883
Is this what maths becomes when you try desperately to come up with new things?

>>8671883
This shit isnt so funny anymore when half the proofs are like that.
The the "proofs" in the script of my professor look like this:
"Obvious"
"Just check it"
"Follows from definition"
"Caluculate!"
"Linear Algebra"

>>8671905
You're supposed to be go through and fill in details yourself. Lectures don't have time to cover things you already know how to do.

>>8671926
Ironically the professor who is giving the lectures and the professor who provided the script are different and during the lectures proper proofs were given.
The author of the skript was just too lazy to writen them down.

>>8670587
Fucking evans

>>8670693
Man I loved that physics book. Truly the best.

>>8668807
Reminds me of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXlfXirQF3A

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>>8672042
but which book is it???

>>8672180
I forgot. It had like electricity on the cover though

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>>8672187
This'un probably. It's golden

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>>8672228

>>8670795
>Euthanize = falling to death
OK

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>>8672284
do you even Taylor

>>8669526
kek

>>8670585
Based Poland

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>>8672436

Someone post the iceberg meme with logic and set theory, where the very bottom has "thrown out of conferences for screaming REEEE when someone uses infinite sets or induction"

>>8672498
Why? This is a humor thread.

>>8672293
differential equation using newtons law of cooling applied to geometry?

>>8670649
This is wonderful.

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>>8672529
I think it's a nusselt number correlation problem

>>8670649
holy shit, this is real published research

>>8668619
>== INSTEAD OF .equals()
Fucking Java

>>8670649
>doctors are bigger brainlets than engineers

unreal

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I remember this from what I guess must have been my linalg book.

>>8672232
This is a retarded book for brainless and it's expensive af. General physics courses are cancer.

>>8672710
This isn't a cringe thread

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>>8672720
tsk. your signals are weak old man

>>8672304
muh detroit red wings reference

>>8670587

Legend

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>>8670649
>Cited by 223 documents

>>8670585
Is it three? I'm bad at napkin arithmetic.

>>8672397

> If you don't get a hard on for my sub-sub-subfield of theoretical particle physics then you're a fucking pleb who spends all day watching television.

What did he mean by this?

>>8670589

if the title is a question the answer is no

>>8671506
must be real

>>8671157
He's probably just afraid that if you change one thing in his spaghetti code the whole thing will break apart and no longer function. This is a valid concern for bad programs.

>>8670591
Im fuckin dying

>>8670649

I laugh every time

>>8672888

He's referencing that it sounds like Star Trek technobabble and if it doesn't sound interesting, to just watch that instead of bothering with his sub sub sub field of particle physics

>>8670615
Because the squareroot of -3 terms cancel out

>>8670609
underated

>>8672024
book?

>>8672389

kek, you sicko

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>>8673790
supposedly this one

>>8671157
Is this retard aware that he can just return in any of those nested ifs? Making a total at the end was the most rage inducing imo.

>>8670649
Just so everyone knows, not all functions are nice (hence can't use fundamental theorem of calculus). Interpolation polynomials probably aren't worth the effort anyway. The method suggested, while elementary, is probably the best way to calculate this.

>>8674165
The joke is that anyone who still remembers high school math would refer to this as numerical integration.

Just the fact that half the abstract is about this new and innovative mathematical model instead of the scope of the paper is sad.

>>8670629
Hippies BTFO

>>8668619
You guys are laughing and thinking this is fake, but I swear to God that a girl in my OOP class last year did something pretty much like this (a little bit more complicated, but still) on a class project where partners were randomised. I was shocked.

>>8674887
Ive seen many "programmers" write stuff like that, many of them with university degrees. Thats why everyone laughs about CS and thinks its a meme.

>>8674165
Lol

>>8669298
Math doesnt exist

>>8674919
>had to do some shitty programming thing in first year of maths degree
>part of it was to check for primes between 1-100
>just made it check for numbers not divisible by 2,3,5,7
>it worked so they couldnt mark me down

absolute waste of time

>>8674165

>The method suggested

>Left rectangular method

I mean, I don't expect everyone and their mother to know about Monte Carlo, but fuck right off with that.

>>8672260
If they were falling from an airplane it would have been an instant death.

>>8675051
That's valid. To check primes up to n you need only check for divisors up to sqrt n.

>>8673180
Not in quaternions.

>>8671507
Okay I giggled.
Mitochondria be rolling like.

>>8668619
golden rule of programming class.

if it works and satisfies the instruction, it's perfect

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>>8669271

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not sure if this was posted yet but it makes me giggle

>>8669285
shouldnt the correct notation be DNE ?

>>8669279
Those aren't mutually exclusive, by the way.

>>8670827
underrated classic

>>8673184
pretty good

>>8672024
lol

Greetings from an anon who's never been on /sci/ before. I'd just like to say that I am so fucking confused by everything in this thread, I actually found a place of smart people on 4chan, I never thought it would happen

That is all.

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>>8678087
brainlet get off my board

>>8678099
y-you too

>>8670591
this happens more often than it is funny.. sadly

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyD4p8_y8Kw

>>8669041
for(i=0;i<8;i++){
GUI.cards[0].setDone(a.getLabel().equals(Double.toString(i+1)));
}
Would be one way to do it. A more efficient way would be to implement this within setLabel().

>>8678267
I meant GUI.cards[i].

>>8670757
I got 16/7 ft/s^2.

>>8674878
>not Boolean.valueOf(condition==true).equals(Boolean.TRUE)

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>>8678129
you're right

>>8676050
I got 6 points taken off of my intro to MATLAB course quiz last week for initializing a for loop like this

i =1
for i:1:n

The TA took 6 points off because I didn't write

for i=1:n

Seriously fuck that guy.

>>8678550
desu there's no reason why you shouldn't just write it as for i = 1:n

unless brainlet

>>8678550
There is literally nothing wrong with taking away points for big mistakes.

It is not even valid MATLAB code, so why should you get points?

>>8678087
i never thought ur mom would happen

>"One day Shizuo Kakutani was teaching a class at Yale. He wrote down a lemma on the blackboard and announced that the proof was obvious. One student timidly raised his hand and said that it wasn't obvious to him. Could Kakutani explain?

>After several moments' thought, Kakutani realized that he could not himself prove the lemma. He apologized, and said that he would report back at their next class meeting.

>After class, Kakutani, went straight to his office. He labored for quite a time and found that he could not prove the pesky lemma. He skipped lunch and went to the library to track down the lemma. After much work, he finally found the original paper. The lemma was stated clearly and succinctly. For the proof, the author had written, 'Exercise for the reader.'

>The author of this 1941 paper was Kakutani."

>>8673184
Ben Stiller isn't nearly that old.

>>8670673
>not a ball on a spring
NOT INTERESTED

>>8679011
when people get old, they get brainleter?
i dnt wann get old

>>8676427
Holy shit why does this even get me

>>8678087
>smart people
>on 4chan
Really makes my synapses firing

>>8678181
kek

this one's pretty good too
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkn_bRM1LOQ

>>8668619
WTF i made this
I'm so flattered to see someone actually saved it.
It's real btw, one of my students turned that in

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>>8670795
can't outsmart a cat, truly the best animals

>>8679071
Way to totally miss the joke.

>>8679471
those cats were supposed to die that day

>>8679507
that's the point: they were supposed to die but they didn't die

checkmate dogeist

>>8672762
Is the joke needing a book to learn HTML and talking about something as vague as "APIs" as if it was hard?

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>>8672383
H-how do you solve Exercise 14?

>>8672888
>sub-sub-subfield
ask me how I know you dont know any physics

>>8672710
*tips*

>>8673184
*tips*

>>8679524
Yes, yes that is the joke

>>8675101
Thats not true you retard.

>>8678087
Scathing critique

>>8679898
fuck, I would've fund this funny, but I fucking hate mosquitoes

please biologists, do something useful at least once, and destroy this plague

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>>8679533
Same way that philosophy works

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>>8679533
There is worse.

>Explain.

>You have 6 hours.
>Using a calculator is forbidden.

From the 2015 Ecole Normale Supérieure exam.

>>8679861
Supergravity is not a big field brah

>>8678087
Well, fucking out with it. Where is this place you speak of?

>>8680322
meme center.

>>8680322
This image is retarded on 9 levels, and only a totally ignorant person could have made it.

>>8670631
this is from "Silicon Valley", right?

>>8680351

Nothing wrong with that

atleast it's approachable

any asshole who can write can give it just as good of a shot as the next guy

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>>8668254

>>8678331
jesus

>>8672260
>>8675088
Cats being smaller than humans means that they can handle collisions at higher speeds, and have a lower terminal velocity. You can drop cats from any height and they will have a 90% survival rate.

>>8670822
At first I was like, "yeah, that answer makes sense", but it's actually a paradox, since the question turned out to be not-so-useful after all. They would have been better off asking literally anything else, but then there is an actually useful answer to the question, meaning the answer is the question again, and so on.

>>8680351
So you're supposed to write a text about the word "to explain"?

>>8680734
>any height
Orbital reentry is technically still within the gravitational field of earth so it has a height relative to the surface aka I can drop a cat from the fucking space shuttle. I'm pretty sure it won't have a 90% survival rate.

>>8680734
No

>>8680782
The ENS is a really elitist institution, famed for the insanely selective admission exams, which sometimes exceeds by far what the prep cycle prepares you for. Single-word subjects are actually to be expected in Philosophy and Literature.

As long as what you turn in stands out from the rest in terms of quality, you'd have your chances. Most would just do a dissertation on one or several of the meanings of the word (i.e. it would revolve around the concept of proof, reasoning and perhaps the communication thereof), trying to namedrop as many relevant works of philosophy as possible, but you could think outside the box and engage in something else completely, for instance a pastiche of the Platonic Dialogues ; if well done it could play in your favor. What matters is that you impress the people who grade your composition.

>>8680370
No, but anyone who knows general relativity and quantum field theory should be able to appreciate this result.

>>8672830
One of them is mine actually. It's kind of a running gag among mathematicians to quote this article for no other reasons that showing ppl it exists

>>8680797
>Orbital reentry is technically still within the gravitational field of earth
I'm pretty sure most of the observable universe is "technically" still within the gravitational field of Earth.
>I can drop a cat from the fucking space shuttle. I'm pretty sure it won't have a 90% survival rate.
Obviously I didn't mean that the cats would not suffocate in space, nor did I mean that they wouldn't burn to death if instead of being dropped from a tower, they were dropped from something that has a velocity of thousands of miles per hour relative to Earth's surface. What you're saying is like saying that a human can't necessarily survive a fall from 2 meters, because what if I drop him from the top of a car going 200 km/h.
Anyway, turns out the survival rate is less than 90% because I didn't read the whole article.

>>8668398
What's the source of this template?

>>8668619
missing a } before second "else"

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>>8681523
This fat hate image from /fit/.

>>8669098
this hurts

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who /thotpatrol/?

I remember the left guy from an Dr. House episode where they thought he is a pedophile

I want to throw cats from airplanes.

>>8679908
Counter example? It's completely true as far as I can tell.

>>8679908
>>8682250
Thought about it some more and yes it's true. Let [math]n[/math] be a natural number. Suppose there is a factor [math]p[/math] greater than the square root of [math]n[/math], then there exists some [math]q[/math] such that [math]pq = n[/math] but if [math]q[/math] is also larger than the square root of [math]n[/math] then [math]pq[/math] is larger than the square root of [math]n[/math]. Therefore it's enough to check up to the square root of a number.

>>8682263
Some brainfarts and not written down all that cleanly, but you get the picture.

>>8682250
Yes, because multiplying two numbers greater than sqrt(n) gives a number greater than n. Thus any big factor has a corresponding small factor.

>>8668573
Yeah, you're going to learn a lot of stuff in these threads.

>>8672048
That was really good, thanks for posting.

>>8682263

http://mathworld.wolfram.com/SieveofEratosthenes.html

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Fill it anon

>>8681531
Is that a neuron?

>>8682409

holy balls, we just went over that yesterday in class!

>>8670714
>>8668619
These should be buddies

>>8682891
It looks like it's supposed to be a B lymphocyte turning into a plasmocyte.

>>8670688
> Sauce not to scale
I fucking love this

>>8670691
Fucking hibbeler always tries to be funny an ends up being corny as all fuck

>>8681527
>your weight is your fault
>your height isn't
the fat bitch is clearly at fault here

>>8672024
Why is this funny? Because of the word labia? You know that's not referring to vaginas right?

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>>8682628
I tried

>>8682891
B cell to plasma cell

I was gonna make a sodium joke, but na

>Two men walk into a bar
>Bartender walks up to them
>First guy says "I'll have some H2O"
>Second guy says "I'll have some H2O too"
>Second guy dies after digesting his drink
>tfw bartender used to be scientist
>tfw H2O2

>>8683664
>not listing field of quaterions

brainlet pleb tier tbqh famalam

>>8683664

what's Z and C?

>>8683690
>field of quaterions
>quaterions
>field

wewlad

>>8683697
> skew field
:^)

>>8670585
4

>>8674165
>the method suggested
is LITERALLY baby's first numerical integration algorithm

It'd be like publishing a paper on "solving complex numerical equation by using a bisecting algorithm to find the root"

>>8674887
I have the worst memories of a girl I was randomly paired with for a programming project. We had to defend it in front of a TA and she just outright said that she doesn't understand the part I made (which was practically all of it).

Milo was right. There should be a cap on women in STEM.

>>8683691
The set of all integers and the the set of all complex numbers

>>8670642
I wonder what the story is there.

>>8683691
Z comes from the german word for to count and C stands for complex.

Also, get off my board reeee

>>8680370

i-is this a pun?

>>8670595
Hah, that's what you get.

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>>8682628

>>8684203
>he didnt define unary function . on x

>>8683478
Yes, it's clearly her fault, that is why this image is often posted in fat hate threads. That other bitch defending the fat cunt is really just the icing on the cake.

>>8683710
Show your work

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>>8682628

>>8668430
Waste

>>8670587
10/10

>>8683478
you can lose weight but you can't increase height

>>8668807
How do I get to the point where I can understand this joke?

>>8685124
When you stop being such a brainlet

>>8685128
:(

>>8685151
someone used his idea and applied it to something else that he didn't mean to apply it to and it worked and he got none of the credit and he's angry and butthurt about being "plagiarized".

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Is this the funniest misunderstanding in CompSci?

>>8686632
read the full thing and stop being an idiot
the highlighted part says nothing

>>8670587
based evans, he will be missed

>>8670587
>>8672035
>>8672818
>>8684971
>>8686662
It's this guy by the way:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dennis_F._Evans

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>>8686862
>Ostfeld, D.; Cohen, I. A. "A cautionary note on the use of the Evans method for magnetic moments" J. Chem. Educ., 1972, 49, p 829.

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>>8670714
Who did that?

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>tfw no circuit humor

Am I wasting my life?

>>8670609
>Replacing the need to find an open pharmacy.

kek.

>>8683504
The joke is at the end of part a.

>>8680305
Can some wizard explain

>>8680883
What a fucking meme.

>>8683690
Quaternios don't form a field retard.

>>8687306
>>8683697
brainlet here, what is a field and why quaternions don't make one?

>>8684892
kekd
t. engineer

>>8676427
crying

>>8687330
It's an algebraic structure that satisfies some axioms. The "Multiplication" with quaternions doesn't commute so it's not a field.

>>8687330
a field is a set with two operations (typically called "addition" and "multiplication") that satisfy a whole list of conditions. For example, the real numbers are a field, but the integers are not (because not every integer has a multiplicative inverse).

in this case, the quaternions "multiplication" is not commutative, and so its not a field in the strict sense. It is, however, a division ring, also known as a skew field

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>>8687345
>>8687356
very intredasting
thenks guys

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>>8683515

Does anyone have the story of the mathematician and physicist gymbros that get into the shower and talk about Stokes Theorem?

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>>8687922

>>8668254
Here;s one my first year math phys lecturer said on the first day, and referred to quite often.
A rich man wants to bet on a horse race. He hires three people to evaluate the horses and give their professional opinions on which is best. A geneticist, an anatomist and a physicist.
The geneticist looks at the family lines of the horses. He looks at their parents, their dna, tries to establish which horses are likely to posses the best traits, but there's just so much data he can't deal with it all, and gives up.
The anatomist looks at the horses themselves, studies their musculature, their performance, their builds, but he realizes just how similar the horses are and how random it could be, and abandons the project.
The physicist disappears for a while, only to come sprinting to the rich man yelling "I've found it, I have the answer!"
The rich man asks "Really!?"
The physicist replies "Yes! But it only works for spherical horses in a vacuum."

>>8687967
>>there does not exist vanish vector field on R2\{0}

so the zero vector field is not a "vanishing" vector field?

>>R2/{0} is homeomorphic to S1

>implying a compact space can be homeomorphic to a non-compact one

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>>8672389

>>8672389

sasuga nippon

>>8687878

not using your imagination/memory to store the variable values

>>8688572
Compactification by adding infinity to the set of R2.

>>8670688
>no feathers
and you call yourself a scientist

>>8676050
it takes more resources to execute

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFLBMp-QRPs

!
Cool vid

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>>8676050
This is retarded. Maintainability is much more important than whether it outputs correctly.

>programming class
Programming classes teach you the most retarded shit that you then need to unlearn to become a good programmer, like comments, every programming class ive been in always stresses the fact that you must comment your code, while in practice (read any programming guidelines book) comments are the worst thing to ever add to code, and indicates your code is shit. Same with this 'if it works its correct' mentality, having code that is incorrect, but maintainable is much easier to fix, than changing code that works but is shit.

(the only exception is performance heavy code where you sacrifice maintainability for performance, but even then you should keep a copy of the maintainable, slower code for use in unit tests to make sure your optimized code actually works)