How do I maximize my chances of getting cancer within just a

>>8592080
Smoke entire packs at once, multiple times a day? Like a little contraption that lets you drag on multiple cigarettes in one go.

>>8592080
Melt plastic and inhale it

open up a couple smoke detectors and eat the contents

order some nucleotide-intercalating-dyes like ethidium bromide or propidium iodide

expose yourself to lots of formaldehyde vapors

File: grebe.jpg (1MB, 2500x1667px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2500x1667px

>>8592115
Noice work M8. Knows his stuff. Here, have a Grebe.

>>8592080
>Pancreatic cancerfag finally realised that he didn't have pancreatic cancer. But has already fucked his life up beyond recognition think he'd be dead before the end of April.

>>8592168
kek

>>8592080
live in a tanning bed

Prepare all of your meals in microwaved styrofoam and eat it from the styrofoam. For more rapid results also eat the styrofoam

>>8592080

Continue to visit /sci/

>>8592080
roll around in radioactive material every day

>>8592080
Puke on an empty stomach then let your esophagus regenerate. Do this a few times and you have esophagian cancer

Make microwavable popcorn everyday, and as soon as it's done open the bag and inhale the fumes. Instant popcorn lung.

>>8592168
Kek, my first thought when I read OP

>>8592080
smoking, tanning booths, bananas, fly repeatedly

>>8592080
Think real hard, your body will adapt by growing a brain tumour.

>>8592080
visit Chernobyl on "official business"

eat non-organic fruits and vegetables. Eat red meat and don't fall for the cigarettes meme. People smoke all their lives and dont get cancer.

>>8592080
Fucking eat your smoke detector.

>>8592080
All of us have cancer. Cancer forms (mutations form) when there is insufficient O2. Too much O2 isn't good either.

Keep going to doctors for various cancers. Sooner or later they'll find at least one.

>>8592669
Incorrect. Back to med school.

>>8592168
thyroid cancer, not pancreatic

Large doses of radiation is your best bet

>>8592095
Smoking tobacco causes cancer because combusting the tobacco coated in addictive carcinogencs causes chemical breakdown to gaseous form which resolidifies in the lungs as heavy metals which experience half life slowly

that's why smokers get lung cancer after like 30 years of chain smoking