What would /sci/ do to gain access to the LHC?

>>8503764
>implying /sci/ doesn't have access

Just check these dubs and i'm gonna kill this world

Pay maybe $100 max?

Not my field

>>8503764
Travel to France

>>8503764
Push the button

I don't know. I appreciate them for doing important physics research, etc, but I just can't stand the culture of the place. Everyone under 40 is an xkcd quoting, reddit browsing faggot.

The worst part is how happy about it all they seem to be. I often find myself wishing the LHC blows up and kills them all.

They're using some sensor equipment I developed. Nothing too fancy, just boring temperature sensors used to keep the servers from overheating. I can snoop other equipment on the building automation network through them. I could use it to control lights and ventilation but I don't want to lose my job.

>>8503843
So you've spent a lot of time there?
Because, you know, if not then your post is just autistic rage (and if you have then it's still probably autistic rage - I haven't been so I can't say definitively)

>>8503843
This is so fucking true. Those people are like caricatures. The worst thing is that what they do just fucking sucks so bad if you look at what everyone does on their own. It's not like everyone is working on something important, 95% of those guys are doing nothing but "Uh, I'm checking whether this decay channel exists. It violates SM and if it exists we might have only seen it twice.", and that's their fucking PhD theses. It's insanely boring and doesn't really apply to anything, but they think what they do is the greatest thing on earth.

Nah, I'd rather work on some smaller experiment and actually do something that's fun and matters somewhat.

>>8503848

I don't see how autistic rage invalidates anything I've said. If they're your type of people, by all means. Apply for an internship, or even a PhD position. You'll have the time of your life, and it will look very good on your CV. Personally, I'd rather nail my dick to the desk.

>>8503843
Kek, please go on.

>>8503764

Not my field, but I'd consider sneaking into it to have sex.

>>8503884

I don't have any funny stories. They're just a very particular kind of people. A typical coffee break would run like this:

>"Oh, did you hear about current event?"
>"Indeed I have."
>"From the xkcd comic?"
>"Haha, yes!"
>"What comic? I didn't see it yet."
>"Oh, it's great, let me show you."
>Pulls out a smartphone, shows him the comic.
>"Haha, this is great! Check this out!"
>They proceed to pass the phone around, to make sure everyone sees the comic. They shove it in your face as you smile politely and try to bat it away.
>"Hey, does anyone want some cake? And don't worry, this one is *not* a lie."

>>8503910
Who are you, if I may be so bold?

What would happen if instead of firing particles at each other the LHC was redirected and pointed at a person?

>>8503764
I would jack off into the collider and collide my semen with particles

>>8503843
This. Redditors are cancer.

>>8504268
For some reason I first read this as "frying particles at each other". It was funny while it lasted

>>8503910

Oh my fucking god I would cry every night as I went to sleep. Such torture.

>>8503764
>What would /sci/ do to gain access to the LHC?

What's the point?

It's already done the thing it was designed and built to do, wasn't it?

Get a degree in particle physics and join a research team.

>>8503910

Oh I fucking hate this shit. I'm only in uni doing physics and its already like that.

>haha, i just posted a thread to reddit!
>hey dude, check out this pokemon on Pokemon Go!
>hey have you watched rick and morty *whole class starts doing rick impressions*
>hey dude check this gif, I have a gif for everything! (gifbase watermark on it)
>hey check this meme i found on face book
>*quotes bill burr*
>obligotory 2 hour trump/america/christian bashing session
>everybody thinks they're einstein
>constant arguing with the teacher because they think they're geniuses and can't handle being wrong
>one guy says during class "haha, 4chan has fucked me up" in a silly attempt to get see anyone else will admit to browsing 4chan

there are smaller experiments at CERN around transuranites and antimatter for example, it's real fun with the right nonretarded people in a team of 20-30 people.

Other than that, >>8503859

File: images (12).jpg (26KB, 383x383px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 383x383px

I think I would infiltrate as a caterer. Everyone likes to eat right? Then through promps Socially engineer people to divulge all their secrets...in no time I would have all the knowledge and knowledge is power! Ha! I would then be King of Cern!! And have all the snacks!! Φ 一位番ですね!!(笑)

I have a brother who worked for his PHD doing research with the hadron collider

>>8503910
It's okay pal, you browse /sci/ which is more reputable.

>>8504381
>>8503910
are any of them girls?

>>8504268
if you wanted the answer badly enough you could google it b/c it's been answered before. there's a photo of a guy who accidentally put his face in front of a synchrotron beam or something and it burned a tiny hole through the bottom of his head and out of the top but he ended up not having too much permanent damage.

particles from the LHC wouldn't do too much damage, not enough to kill you as long as you didn't shoot it through your heart or anything.

>>8503764
Im gonna smash some pussy and see what happens.

>>8503764
If they payed my flight and my stay I would surely visit.

>>8505014
I'd say nearly 40% are girls. But they're generally the nerdy and awkward kind who tend to hang out with their own nationalities and speak in their own mother tongue when possible. Like you rarely see German girls hanging around with Spanish girls or Brit girls hanging around with the French girls. Whatever scientific progress made if any, generally tends to be from groups with a more homogeneous nationality/ethnicity.

This is multiculturalism at its finest, but lets not burst the bubble shall we.

>>8506428
How do you know so much about the LHC?

File: 20161130_093824.jpg (259KB, 501x860px) Image search: [Google]

259KB, 501x860px

Id eat a Klondike bar

>>8506470
My PhD involved me hanging around Geneva for a few months to get some measurements.