What motivates you /sci/? Have you ever had setbacks that made

I've been going to college off and on for the last 10 years.

I have six classes left.

Back then, I was pretty depressed but didn't know it. I tanked my GPA and was put on academic suspension multiple times.

My motivation was to go to school because it's better than working at a call center or on the line in a factory.

I'm not depressed anymore, but I took off 3 semesters and moved in with my grandma to help her with cancer.

That's done now, and I took classes last fall. My gpa is so fucked that I was suspended again even though I passed all my classes.

At this point, my motivation is finishing just to be done. Don't know if I can even get a job with it, but at least it will be done with so I can move on.

>>8258080
>My gpa is so fucked that I was suspended again even though I passed all my classes.

What do you do when this happens?

>>8258042

just like you love spending time on FB or jerking off, I love doing maths

it's really that. People who have been raised wrong end up wasting so much time on Instagram or whatever, and when they can't get off, they're like "oooh i wish i had the motivation to work"

well, sorry, but if you were raised right, you would've been raised with a good work ethic (for things you don't want to do but must do) and a love for a specific subject(s) (in my case math and physics) and you wouldn't need "motivation" to sit down and do something you love doing in the first place

>>8258080
wew lad. That's some real dedication there. I admire and respect you.

As for me, I'm starting graduate school in nuclear physics in exactly two weeks. I have the privilege, though, of having a more altruistic motivation. I study physics so that I can one day better mankind and contribute to our survival on earth and beyond.

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What motivates me is a deep sense of awe and mystery about the universe and consciousness.

I had back surgery, dropped out of school and nearly lost my mind. Now I am on track to complete a PhD. When you hit rock bottom you can either give up, or rebuild yourself brick by brick. I chose the latter.

At every moment in life you can take a step forward, stay still, or take a step back. The accumulation of these small steps over years will dictate where you end up. Choose wisely anons, you only get one chance.

>>8258042
I am studying mathematics. My motivation is to make bank. move to Japan, retire early and then live a happy life having sex with the age group I am actually attracted to.

Things are great because months ago I learned something I didn't know before. In Japan relationships between businessmen and high school girls are not only legal but also considered normal. even if looked down upon a bit.

Also I will be living in anime town.

Wish me luck.

>>8258080
My respects. Keep it up bro.

>>8258104
Sometimes you can appeal based on the circumstances.

I've just been working. Planning on going back in the spring

>>8258110
One small step for man, one giant misstep for mankind.

>>8258129
Fucking race traitor. You should be ashamed of yourself.

>>8258239
>race traitor
ayy lmao

>>8258239
When my people decided that the age of consent was 18 they betrayed me.

I managed to fuck a couple of 14 year olds when I was 17 though and it was fucking great.

Now I would get fucking jailed for doing that thing I was doing just less than a year ago. THAT IS BULLSHIT MY MAN.

The age of consent is Japan is fucking 13. I NEED SOME OF THAT.

>>8258129
nice, same

>>8258116
Good post, made me think.

>>8258042
I have no motivations, only compulsions.
My never ending thirst for knowledge makes me appear smart to my peers.

> dealing with setbacks
I drink a lot

>>8258042
>What motivates you /sci/?
Dunno, man. I think I must have some kind of depression or some shit because although the idea of learning mathematics excites me, it's hard to get going because I over-analyze shit and start thinking about the inevitable pointlessness of the endeavor. I will amass all of this knowledge, and then I will grow old and get thrown in an elder's home where some young women will listen to my ramblings just to humor me, with no will to learn from my wisdom.

>>8258265
My nigga.

Are you learning japanese too? I know about 120 kanji by now.

>>8258108
>Doing math because you love it instead of doing it to combat your horrible intellectual insecurities.
>Implying

I have had a lot of work to do this summer, but I have have never actually wanted to start. I force myself, and suddenly it becomes fun. 6 hours pass, and I am done with the design and half the report on a somewhat complicated experiment. I enter some form of autistic trance.

Set backs rarely occur if you make your work fun. When it does happen, just man up. If needed, sit down, listen to some classical, focus intently on looking at a wall, and empty your mind. This has helped me overcome many other problems in life as well

>>8258080
I'm in a pretty similar situation but I was studying 2 majors at 2 different universities (Finance and Banking BS and a Physics BS). I was pretty depressed for a long time but now things are getting better, I just finished my Finance degree and have some offers from banks to work while I complete my Physics degree.

For me, getting a really good girlfriend who supports me has been a life changer. Keep it up.

Narcissism, I believe that if I work hard enough I can do something notable and have my work remembered in history as great.

It's bullshit, but I believe it.

>>8258855
lmao same

>>8259133
>>8258855
You guys too? Damn

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>>8258855
>>8259133
>>8259650
w-w-we are all gonna make it ;_;

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I am sensitive to stimuli and my body/mind either greatly benefits or suffers.

If someone compliments or validates me on something I care about, I become an extremely productive person. Or if I eat a satisfying meal, same thing.

But if I feel insecure, have nothing satisfying to eat, fatigue or any other negative stimuli I become exceedingly worthless and cant make progress on my goals.


I need to find a balance. I cannot succeed with this sort of bi-polar energy reserve.

No I am not fat. I burn a lot of calories from weight lifting and studying (im serious)

At least I'm not depressed and a neet anymore.

The prospect of a better world.

>>8258239
>Implying white women are worth it

Why should I care about a white woman that has taken the bbc 15 times last weekend over a pure and innocent Nihon girl? Smh senpai

what motivates me is the unknown, diving, the feeling of being at sea for weeks at a time with no contact with the real world, and only periodical radio updates to let us know if we can make it back - and thats if we are within range. worth it.
and then i go back to academia, and its all fucking bullshit, and infighting, and cuck bitches having a fucking cry because they got cucked by their cuck
go to sea anon

>>8259949
>go to sea anon
How?

>>8259968

if you are good with your hands, willing to learn and basically not a fucking pussy at the heart of your character, someone will give you a go

there is always an old sea salt willing to give someone noone saw anything in a go

if you dont meet these extremely loose criteria, stay on the fucking land - for your and everyone elses safety

go to the docks and start asking around

dont let them know you are STEM until you get into a higher position

cant give you much more advice than that

hope you can hold your piss anon, good luck

>>8259888
my advice: graduate highschool

>>8258042
as a programmer. i get motivation from getting feedback that my project helped somebody. that something i built was useful to someone else.
i love that feeling and it keeps me going knowing that im contributing, even if its a tiny amount, i know i helped

I'm a human bean.
The most intelligent creature on planet earth.

>>8260000
quads for board's sailor

>>8258042
Childish delusions of grandeur. I wish I was joking but, from a purely rational standpoint, that really is what motivates me. I have this vague, nebulous goal of doing something profound with my life and I recognize that I will need power over math and science to do it. Despite this, I don't yet know what that "thing" will be and I may never know. It's just a dream that keeps me going on this path. Delusion.

>>8260000
Tell us more about your story. Legit interested.

My motivation is the crippling anxiety of procrastination.

>>8259866
Are you me from the future? Because not only am I in the same psycho-social stage, but also because that's what I want to do when I move out of home and nothing goes wrong until then.

Also, I have an dog just like the one in your photo.

Wish you luck.

>>8260008
Follow your own advice buddy. Maybe you're from some shithole or rural area where this isn't common, but in big cities, any mildly attractive girl has taken at least 5 different dicks over the past few years.

>>8260066
Exactly the same as you, but I take from your post you see this type of motivation negatively? Working and studying hard can only get you closer to your goal, and even if you fail to reach it you'd surely be in a better position that if you had not worked at all.

>>8260184
>a woman has had boyfriends

Thats not bad.

>>8260244
I agree that it the acquisition of new knowledge can only be a positive thing in the long run. I can't blind myself to the reality of my situation though, that being that, though I have dreams of great things, I'm not exceptional by any stretch and am certainly no genius. I'm a very hard worker, extremely studious, but my IQ is probably around 120, which is not exceptional for the STEM fields. On top of that, I had a very poor education growing up and as a result, am years behind others my age in terms of knowledge and experience. I fear that it's just impossible to catch up. I waited too long and there are no second chances at life. Right now, all I have are dreams. Evidently, that's enough for me to go on.

>>8258108
you're on 4chan, though

>>8258042
Even doing things you like will be boring and frustrating sometimes, just keep in mind that it's much more rewarding in the long term than only seeking instant gratification. Also, a sense of duty is one of the manly virtues.

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>>8260257
To each his own tastes buddy. Some guys want a pure girl, some guys don't mind if she's had 10 or 15 other boyfriends as long as she's attractive, some guys only accept lower than 5 boyfriends, etc.

Some guys prefer loyalty and commitment, criteria white women in the West aren't renown to have. Can't blame the anon wanting an Asian gf.

>>8258116
Standing still is stepping back.

Most of the time, motivation isn't enough. That's where discipline comes in. You can't work or study, relying on something as shaky as inspiration or hopes to give you the will to do shit.

Most everybody who begins studying science is struck by the scale of things. Whether it be the geological epochs of our Earth or the size of our universe. When I read about half-lives of billions of years or even the history of the dead men who discover our knowledge, I am constantly reminded of my own mortality. We are flickering candles of life in a vast sea of eternal nothingness. I want to do something with my life because of it. That's why I stopped just giving large portions of my life to useless activities like television or Facebook. Instead, I study and learn for the hope to be in a textbook one day, like Bohr or Heisenberg. If nothing else, I hope to earn enough money to establish a legacy of academic and financial success for at least my direct descendants.

>>8258080
Ganbatte!

>>8258129
Godspeed anon

>>8258042

I don't need motivation, I love doing it. faggot.

Pretty much material wealth at this point is a major driving factor for the distant future (5+ years from now) but for the foreseeable it's genuine curiosity in my research. If I get going and understand my project then I never stop thinking about what new things I can try or work on and just throw hours into it. I know it's a rough job market for scientists out there, but I'm in a field that has a really great demand for PhDs.

>>8258042
I think for me it's the sense of achievement when learning something new or just getting better at doing something

>>8258239
>wanting jamal's sloppy seconds

>>8258108
Yet here you are posting on /sci/

I can guarantee you if you compare others priority of jacking off to yours of doing math, you would be doing math right now.

I have no problem at all with acing my classes, but staying motivated in research is so much harder. You're used to getting things done quickly in your courses and tackling a few different topics a week, so spending a month on a small part of the project can sometimes be depressing. I just take it day-by-day and try to stay focused and organized; even Nobel prize-winning research takes years upon years to complete.

I'd love more advice, though, because I'm just a novice at this.

>>8258116

similar situation here. had back surgery as well, and i suffer from major depression. luckily i have a full ride and they help me out a lot. but damn, im behind as fuck. thanks for this post

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>>8258042
>What motivates you /sci/?
The knowledge of my own imperfection.
Everybody says "Just bee urself bruh" and so on, but a while ago I said to myself "You know what? I´m shit. My mind and everything in it is shit. My social skills. My psyche, since I have a PD. My scientific talents. My philosophical view on life. It´s all fucking garbage!"
So I am on a road, not to myself, but to something more and maybe even better. A road to a better me.
And I´ll only quit the day when the Man In The Mirror is smiling back.

>Have you ever had setbacks that made it difficult to get going again?
Yes, every single day. When I´m waking up, under the shower, at work, at my Uni. Every single day, I´m falling down.

>If yes, how did you deal with them?
By standing the fuck up, focusing, realising the problem, calming myself and solving it.
And never ever giving up, because the Man In The Mirror doesn´t like that.

>>8261181
Saved

god speed anon, god speed

>>8261283
Thanks, but why did you save it? I am far less strong or willfull than any of you.

>>8261287
Really liked what you said, reminds me of how I look at myself. You just wrote it out well i guess..

>>8261309
Thank you, I really appreciate that.

Who do you want to be? which man would your Man In The Mirror smile at?

>>8258116
Underrated

>>8261315
Your welcome buddy

I feel like that's a rhetorical question. Who would the Man In The Mirror smile at? Good question, that's something to really truly think deeply about.

Good luck on your endeavors friend, I hope you find what your looking for in life. Wherever or whoever you are.

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>>8260139

what do you want to know anon ?

>>8261339
not the same anon you replied to, but do you realize the Man In The Mirror is you, right?

>>8261354
2deep4me

>>8259888
> being this sexually insecure

>>8258042
I want to publish original research senpai. Since I was a little kid I have wanted to do science (I am working toward a math degree now). I have always idolized the great scientists of history and I decided somewhat late in life that I was going to chase them. I do not expect to be a household name but I want to contribute to the most important of human endeavors (science in general, not just math)

>>8258042
What motivates me is my constant march forward. Setbacks are irrelevant, for I have still learnt SOMETHING. It may be that I'm not studying enough, or correctly. Also, by looking at the work of those who succeeded where I did not, I march forward yet again, and learn why and how I failed. This makes you less likely to make such mistakes in the future.

Letting go of the anxiety to prove yourself over and over is one of the best things I've ever done. Before, effort was bad and I had to prove I was smarter than everyone else. Now, I recognise effort is HOW you become smarter than everyone else, and I also realise that's not the goal needed. The goal is to reach where you want to go, not to reach somewhere others don't.

Had I not done this I wouldn't be pushing a PhD. I'd probably has dropped out from fear of not being good enough.

>>8261413
That's precisely the mindset with which you become a household name. Doing it for the love of the field, not of the glory.

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>>8260057
same, but it's still crazy to think my code is actually being used by someone :o

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>>8261354
I´m this >>8261181 guy
> the Man In The Mirror is you
No, he isn´t. Or, atleast not completely. He is the judge in my head, the conscious Super-Ego, if you want. As I am developing, he does, too. And in the end, he´ll be the judge of my life, as he is all I could have possibly been.
And I won´t disppoint him. Never again.


[spoiler] Like I said, I got issues [/spoiler]

I just got a C on a programming project because the very last change I made before I submitted it dun deinitialized mah variables, and it was invisible to testing because my machine just kept reallocating the same memory cells to the same variables, with the same values leftover from the last time I ran it, and whose bright fucking idea was it to make C++'s global arrays auto initialize to 0 while its local arrays are uninitialized by default, what possible reason could there even be for that? I mean fuck, man.

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>>8261476

My unbringing was without discipline, in shool I was easily distracted and I never sat down to finish the work that I was given, as a result I finished with awful grades and a terrible work ethic plus personality. Things only got worse as I progressed through adulthood and its no suprise I became a NEET until 22, when I decided to run away and study in a different country.

I found discipline in myself that I never thought existed and actually started to perform highly in school by pushing aside distraction, its very difficult and sometimes I have a feeling welling up inside me to look at my laptop or phone or stand up and walk around the room, but when I push past it I find a part of myself that I am truly happy with.

I've been accepted to a great shool in my country starting this september, i've had some setbacks in my behavior since the summer started due to having lots of free time to myself but I am absolutely determined to make the best use of this opportunity.

I suppose its about self fullfillment, the satisfaction from knowing I am doing something worthwhile and potentially significant in the future transcends any videogame, porn video or empty entertainment.

>>8258110

I wish I was more like that. Sometimes I feel bad for not picking a project which will "help save the planet" etc.

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>>8261481
I know, this poem is what I based this concept around.
Here, have on in return.

>>8261181
The greatest question of all: why do you use backquote?

>>8261479
>just 1st semester things
Think a little. Where are local variables situated and where are global ones?
Also, it's just a coincidence that it was initialized to p.

>>8261517
Because I fucking can. And I hate translating spoken sentences into relative sentences or whatever they are called.
English is not my first language, so have mercy, okay?

>>8261544
I didn't try to be offensive. Just wondered about that little typing quirk. Sorry if I may have irritated you in some way, I really didn't mean it.

>>8261654
No no, I overreacted.

Say, what is your story? Which straw do you have clasped in your mental hands?

>>8258042
Not much at this point. I just ran out of food again.
I'm barely surviving.

>>8261481
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5vz6iwV38U

>>8258042
I've been lurking around 4chan for maybe a year now and this is the most positive encouraging thread I've seen yet. Usually people come in these threads and shit all over eachother, but the amount of goodwill here is really heartwarming.

I started studying engineering because for some reason my university accepted me into the eng program but not the science program, so I ended up specializing in engineering physics. I started with physics because I thought that I would somehow grok the beauty of the universe on a deeper level. Instead I went off the deep end. The university that I attend and the program I'm in aren't set up for the appreciation of the majesty of the universe at all, it's a kind of punishment program for people who think they're smart. I've become disgusted with the culture of science and of society in general.
Now, I study mathematics and computer science on the side because I see these fields as essentially creative. Instead of interrogating the universe for it's secrets, I can create my own universes with as much mathematical beauty as I can provide them from my own mind.

>>8261659
I will get Bachelor in Software Engineering here in Russia soon. Already working part time in a firm that deals with a specific kind of hardware.
What motivates me? Honestly, I don't have any concrete answer. I'm not working in academia (but I do like reading mathematical books and articles, especially on computability theory and formal logic), so it's extremely unlikely I'll be known for some great achievment. Wealth? Yeah, of course, to some degree, but that still doesn't answer what I aspire to and why. It's just a basic need that everyone has anyway.
I'd say my deepest desire in life is to help people in a way that I can, to make this world a little better. In the end, I want to leave this world knowing that I made a difference. If not on global scale, then at least on the level of my family.
Considering my job and what I love to do, I guess I should try to make computers do what they are actually supposed to do: save people time by making software performing automated tasks, instead of making people devote all their time to said software, thus negating all the positive effect. The whole industry, to paraphrase Dijkstra, "creates much bigger problems to solve smaller ones".
How I'll do it? I don't know yet, but I'll figure out along the way. I'll certainly get Masters, maybe then even earn Candidate of Mathematical Sciences (Soviet equivalent of Ph.D.). There's still a long way before me.
Like and subscribe.

>>8261798
You´re doing very well for living in Mordor, Anon.
Godspeed.

>graduate from private high school, 3.6 GPA, 9th in my gradating class of 250 (could've been a lot better but lazy)
>get full scholarships to a couple of decent universities near home, Depaul, UIC; partial to U of C
>suddenly super fucking depressed/anxious after high school, take a gap year, score a great union job for being only 18
>year passes, got laid off from job due to downsizing, closest cousin murdered (shot in the head), grandpa who I lived with my entire life dies of a heart attack
>so depressed I end up going to an online school for my bachelor's
>23, been taking it way too fucking slow, have a little less than a year left for school

I'd say now, life if slowly picking up. I'm not as angry or sad anymore but I still find it hard to find the motivation to do a lot of the things I'd like to do. Now the only thing that motivates me is my dream of being a business owner. Some days I regret "attending" an online college, but I'm graduating with no debt so I don't know how to feel about it.

>>8258855
Not exactly bullshit.
Just get published (with something worthwhile), that's the first step.

>>8260337
As a guy approaching the three digit mark I can only find disgust in the idea of "innocent". It's boring.

>>8258275
> tfw you have to think what will people think of me if I ask this question.
Yesterday my mother called to tell me her father, my grandfather, had a rare autoimmune disorder where his feet swell like balls (I think Bullous pemphigoid) and he can't walk, was in the hospital, and had to go to a nursing care place after.
My first response was to tell the person holding the phone with my mom "cool. Can you tell her to take pictures?"

To be fair I realized in a couple seconds that he might die pretty soon.

>>8261449
I hope you are right anon. It would be nice.

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>>8258042
My motivation most likely stems from narcissism and arrogance.

However, these two traits to seem to synergize rather well.

Setbacks are viewed as entirely temporary.

No setback exists that is too great.

By absolutely logical sense, in order to travel forward, just keep going.

bump for comfy

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money

>>8258276
same boat here. i think i should just drop out and write a book or something dumb like that but my mind wont let me

>>8260000
QUAAAAAAAADDD

>>8260062
you are not a human being. you are only conciousness. you have no form. you and me and everyone and everything is self aware within the form of humans. we are all nothing

>>8258116
Great post

>>8260282
godspeed anon. my thoughts are similar and the only advice i can give from one person in the hole to another is that life isn't as serious as you want it to be, and if you really think about it, your life is meaningless along with the rest of reality. for me, that is comforting

I really find it hard to motivate myself.

Achieve something? I don't think you can do much as a scientist unless maybe you are a super dedicated genius. Everything is so complex nowadays that even if you are a top of the class ivy league graduate you will just be a small part of something. In real life there are no one man scientists making an elabroate project after project. Everything takes a long time to work on. Even huge companies can't solve the problems that one person can solve in science fiction.

Acquisition of knowledge? Again everything is so complex that you will always be ignorant of the vast majority of life. In the end you can't even be sure how sure your knowledge is.

Genuine interest and hating my job out of undergrad. I have the ability and grades etc to go to grad school, I just thought about trying work life first. I guess it wasn't all bad since I pretty much have total financial stability 9 months after graduating.

>>8258129
>>8258259

This is why japan should've been nuked a third time, fuckin pedophiles and cancerous weebs

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>>8258855

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>>8258042
>Have you ever had setbacks that made it difficult to get going again?

YA.

Guys it's frustrating that I couldn't find one yet - but maybe you know of any.

I basically understand math up to calculus - the last being excluded.

But some elements maybe I don't remember decently enough - so I would want to "re-learn"

I'm looking for a self-study book, but can't find a proper one, something to cover everything and that was designed with the idea of self study in mind.

>>8266502
What exactly do you want to review?

Have you taken a look at this page? It has book suggestions for self-study:
http://4chan-science.wikia.com/wiki/Mathematics

Also this book seems to go over most everything you'd learn in high school. This would be adequate for moving on to calculus:
https://www.amazon.com/Basic-Mathematics-Serge-Lang/dp/0387967877

>>8258042
Classes and structure
I don't know where I would be if I didn't have some form of outside force pushing me forward

>>8266502
Precalculus mathematics in a nutshell, Simmons

>>8266584
Yea Serge book seems fine - thank you man I'll get that one.

I had no site about the wiki, there's only a google page in the catalog sticky.

/sci/ told me that discipline >>> motivation. They were goddamn right. This rule literally changed my whole life

>>8266822
Is there any actual scientific backing to this claim? I've always heard it spouted by self-help gurus, but nobody ever explains why it works. Not saying it's not a useful principle to go by; it sure seems to work for me.

>>8266862
There's one secret to all this - just to keep your pen going and going, solving problems - and to be passionate, like what you're doing.

Then you just manage your time and practice however you like, ignore what gurus say.

>>8260282
>I agree that it the acquisition of new knowledge can only be a positive thing in the long run.
Oh my sweet summer child

>>8258042
>setbacks

when i was 21 i got mentally ill right as i was finishing school. my grades weren't as good as they should have been, but i was happy i still made it.

i lost all of my social contacts and hit rock bottom. psychiatry in my country sucks and the meds weren't working, so it took some time to get back up again.

2 years later i started studying in a different country, but dropped out shortly after due to another psychosis. however, healthcare in this country was much better. it took them half a year to free me of any symptoms of my illness.

now i'm 26 and feel healthy enough. i'm not depressed anymore, just kind of bored. that's why i'm going to pick up my studies again this year. despite my mediocre grades, i got accepted for the degree program i wanted to do. i don't think i've ever been this motivated to do something in my life, so i'm going to give it everything i've got.

sorry for the blog, but i hope this answers OPs question adequately.

in my opinion no matter how bad life gets, you always have the possibility to try again. just don't give up.