teach me to be s4s newfag gomen

>>5593233
you got dubs

you're getting the hang of it already

Your fortune: Good news will come to you by mail

>>5593233
So you want to be a shitposter, huh?
It's not easy.

This guide will teach you "thirty second shitpost" technique.

The basis of "thirty second shitpost" is lowercase typing only. No capitalization or punctuation. It reflects the very nature of the "thirty second shitpost".

"What should my post contain?"
The content of the post is a reflection of your spirit. As this is the "thirty second shitpost" you should approach your keyboard with the intention of shitposting and let it flow.

At first, you might feel daunted. In this case you may look at current shitposting trends and draw inspiration from them.
As a beginner, you may copy a shitpost you have seen before and give it your own distinct touch. As you do this you will begin to get the feel and develop your own style.

As with all arts, the proper form is important. Shitposting is not as abstract as it seems.

Emoticons are allowed. However, xD, ;_;, :3 are the marks of an amateur and are to be avoided.
Genuine typing errors should be left in, but not made on purpose. Even a non-shitposter can discern an intentional typo from an unintentional one, and you will lose credibility.
There is one exception. Leaving the "S" off of words that should be pluralized. Used sparingly, this can boost your shitposting power by 15%.

Poor grammar is acceptable. Take a moment of deliberation to see if your post could benefit from it.
Many shitposts stand or fall on this point alone.

"Thirty second shitpost" technique does not place great emphasis on image uploaded. Though an advanced technique is re-using an image to establish a truly epic shitpost.

Use these guidelines as a foundation. You will discover unwritten rules as you progress.

It's said that a master cannot make a shitpost in thirty seconds, but thirty shitposts in a second.
This guide too, was made in thirty seconds.

So good luck! Find your own style and perfect it!

I look forward to seeing the power of your "thirty second shitpost"! がんばって!

>>5593233
Newfigs start off not being allowed to make posts with vowels, after that you can use all vowels except the letter y which is a pretend vowel. Then you can only post the letter y then you may post as an established fig