cowe

thats a pig lol

>>4778874
skol

>>4778875
that's not even a word you dummy

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot and block the roads, because you want three cows.

CANADA: You have 2 cows. The government takes the milk and puts it in a bag. You get free health care and die of cancer because of all the hypochondriacs in line in front of you since it's free and my toe kinda hurts, I'm gonna go see the brain surgeon.

AFRICA: You have no cows. You have malaria. Bono and the rest of the uninformed west send you AIDS medicine and condoms.

CANNIBALISM: You are a cow. You eat the other cow.

EXPRESSIONISM: You draw a picture of two cows, but the subject matter isn't important.

FURRYISM: You have two cows. You trade one cow for a half-man, half-fox and fuck the foxman and cow.

HONDURAS: You have two cows, but no water. You milk them dry so you can stay hydrated for another day and trade them in for a woman.

NEO-CONSERVATIVISM: You have two cows. When one cow dies, you try to explain to the other cow that the chickens were behind it, and spend years trying to teach it to hunt eggs.

NAZISM: You have two cows. You cut off the black parts because they betray racial purity, then send the black spots to concentration camps where they make cars for the dying cows. Later, sheep kill one cow and split the other one in half to share with chickens and pigs.

ZORK: YOU ARE LIKELY TO BE EATEN BY A GRUE.

UNITINU: You have an even number of cows, and the government requires you to keep them symmetrically distributed across a pasture.

NIGRA-ISM: Your neighbor has two cows. You steal both of them.

IRELAND: You have two cows. The English take your cows, but leave the potatoes and liquor.

Korea: You have two zerglings. KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

STARCRAFT: You have 1 cow, but must build additional pylons to get another.

SHADOWLOOISM: You have two cows. You enslave them to harness psycho power until they form a friendly rivalry and rise against you.

BATTLETOADS: You have two cows. You beat the shit out of both of them and then die in a tragic hoverbike accident.

SOVIET RUSSIA: You have two cows. They milk you.

DEVIANT ART: You have two cows. You write fan fic about their hot lesbian sex. You cry when ebaumsworld puts you in your place.

CANADIAN SOCIALISM: You have two cows. Also, milk comes in bags.

REALITY: You have two cows, but you don't really know what to do next

DIABLO: You have two cows. They moo when you click them.

EVE ONLINE: You have 2 cows, you spend months saving money for a 3rd cow, get the third cow, then ccp nerfs cows and they now they suck ass

SKEPTICISM: Do you really have two cows?

MMORPGISM: You have two cows. The milk gets slightly less crappy every time you milk them. You spend years in the barn, milking away.

4CHANISM: you have 2 cows. Your neighbor thinks it would be funny to repeat your example many times. He sets up 5000 cardboard cutouts of cows in his yard.

WORLD OF WARCRAFT: You have 2 cows. Cow 1 is overpowered and Cow 2 demands a nerf.

GAIAONLINE: You have two cows. You spend four years collecting their shit into a giant pool and have them race in it for accessories.

CORPORATE STATISM: You have two cows. You use the milk to buy off representatives and then ship the cows to be milked overseas for vastly reduced labor costs.

TERMINATOR: You have 2 CoWHERE IS SARAH CONNOR

FAILISM: You have two cows. One has AIDS, the other one has cancer.

TOM WAITS: Is writing a song about a cow that died from drinking gin out of a rusty bathtub while a sailor danced a jig with a blind whore nearby.

HENTAISM: You have two cows! Just kidding, you have two Sexbot Lolis.

8TH LARGEST ECONOMY: You have five cows. You name them Hornface, Slaughterhäus, Hammerfoot, Auðumbla and Bessie, then regularly send them charging rampantly through the streets, creating terror and havoc everywhere. You foster a rapidly growing fanbase for the rampaging cows and make billions off of merchandise while making their stables an independent country.

HEDONISM: You have 2 cows. Apologize for nothing.

FRANCE: You have two cows. You surrender to them.

LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

PURE CAPITALISM- You have no cows because the wealthiest one percent of the society owns all of the land and factories. You can't form a union because you have no governmental protection from the corporate interests, and as such you work ten hour days for cents on the dollar of what you should be making, only to give it right back to the company to buy a half pint of milk to feed your starving children.

CAPCOMISM: You have 2 cows. You press Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left Right, B, A, B, A, start. Now you have 100 Cows.

CREATIONISM: You have two cows, but don't realize you forgot to get all the fucking dinosaurs.

DRAGON BALL Z: You have two cows. You spend 20 episodes milking them.

PHILLIPPINES: You have two cows. You keep them underdeveloped and somehow cause them to become masters of knife fighting.

PESSIMISM: You have one cow.

BESTIALITY: You have two bulls. That's not milk.

CPism: You have two calves and you- brb FBI's here.

MYSPACE: You have two cows. You spend hours taking extreme angled black white photos of them and their utters.

BART SIMPSONISM: Don't have a cow, man.

BUSHISM: You have two cows. They run off without you, get drunk, and show their cooters to strangers.

DEMOCRATISM: You have two cows and all you can do is call people names and complain about how unfair it was to get rid of Saddam

FAMILY GUY: You have two cows. Oh man, one just tipped over. This is worse than that one time Steve Urkel and me went skydiving with Pikachu while eating spaghetti.

BRIDGET: You have one coHEY WAIT A GODDAMN MINUTE THAT RANCHER FUCKED ME OVER!

HENTAISM: You have two cows; tentacle monsters rape them.

Existentialism: why do I have two cows?

FEMINISM: You have two cows. That's NOT funny.

NOMURAISM: You have two cows. You kill them and turn their skin into leather for your belt and zipper suits.

BEBOPISM: You have two cows on Mars. See you, Space Cowboy

PIMP YO CARISM: YO DAWG WE HEARD YOU HAD TWO COWS, SO WE BUILT A FARM, RIGHT IN YO TRUNK!

WEEABOOISM: You have two cows but they came from Japan and are soooooo much cooler than cows from the US.

NOAHISM: You have two cows, two chickens, two horses, two cats, two dogs, two eagles, two lizards, two turtles, two doves, two sheep, two hamsters, two tigers, two bears, two... look, you got two of everything, okay?

AMERICAN COLONIAL SYSTEM: You have no cows, but your neighbors across the street do. They offer you milk. You take it, kill the husband, rape his wife, and then steal his home and his cows and call it Manifest Destiny.

JOJO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE: You have two cows. They kick the barn into shrapnel and knock your house sideways while trying to kill each other.

FANBOYISM: You have two cows. THEY ARE THE BEST COWS EVER, NO EXCEPTION.

RACISM: You have two white cows. Pure. White. Cows.

ELITISM: You have two cows. You're too lazy to milk them so you allow other people to do it, but only after they've kissed your ass for 5 years.

LoZ: You have two cows. Your farm can't turn a profit until you find the third one and collect all eight pieces hidden across the- wait, what the fuck?

STOICISM: You have two cows. Or you don't have any cows. It's fine either way.

KOREAN NATIONALISM: You get zerg rushed before you can build your first cow.

Hinduism: You have two cows. They are holy animals.

CAMWHORISM: You're a cow and people fap to pictures of you.

CHRISTIANITY: You constantly yell at your cows that you're why the grass grows and why the sun shines yet totally lack the evidence to back the claim, knowing it doesn't matter because they're dumbasses who will believe it without question.

SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

THE INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship both of them.

THE ARKANSAS CORPORATION: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

Michael J. Fox: You have two cows. Because of Parkinsons.

Solipsism: You have two cows, but they're really just figments of your imagination.

CONSUMERISM: You have two cows. You turn them into media stars and release CDs, movies, goodies featuring them.

Dyslexia: You have two wocs. You don't know what to do with them.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You can choose to sell them, milk them, sell their milk, eat them, or fuck them if you want to. And if anyone tries to take them or hurt you the government either stops them or punishes them. The price you pay for this is that 15% of all your earnings go to the government. Also, the government pays you money in addition to whatever you make of your own accord just for being a farmer.

Anarcho-communism: I rape you, then your cows, then I milk your cows and kill one and eat it. Then I kill you and eat you. I sell the other cow to pay one of your neighbors not to tell the barely present authorities. I never get caught because no one has the organization to find me when I travel more than thirty miles and repeat the process in a new town.

CHRISTIANITY: You believe you have two cows. You've never seen them and they don't give you any milk, but you believe in them anyway because it's all you've got.

AGNOSTICISM: You're not really sure if you have two cows or not, but you decide to milk them to be on the safe side anyway.

ATHEISM: There are no cows.

SATANISM: You want two cows. You will take them and destroy anyone who stands in your way. Hail Satan!

TRANSSEXUALISM: You have two cows who think they are bulls.

INTERNET DEBATISM: You have two cows. You ignore them to go beat a dead horse.

CONSPIRACY THEORISM: The government has 50,000,000 gold supercows from Mars hidden in Israel. You have a tinfoil hat and a cum stain that kind of looks like Jesus.

IDEALISM: One day you're going to have two cows and they're going to be PERFECT!

CREATIONISM: Two cows appear out of nowhere. You milk them and thank God.

EVOLUTIONISM: After millions of years, whales turned into two cows. You milk them while thrusting your middle finger at God.

hits blunt

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

INTELLIGENT DESIGN: You have two cows. It took God millions of years to carefully shape and refine them into the perfect beings they are today. You slaughter them for a hamburger and a coat and throw the rest in a landfill.

DUALISM: You have three cows. No wait, that's not right...

HIGHLANDERISM: You have two cows. There can only be ONE!

COWISM: You have two humans. You milk them.

DICK GIRLISM: You have two cows. One of them is actually a bull, but you milk it anyway. Your neighbor compliments you on your two cows. You call him a fag.

CHRISTIANITY: You have two cows. God made them, and it is a sin to milk them. Tell your neighbor not to milk his cows.

>>4778874
YOU'RE a pig!
Gavin pls