ITT we pretend we work in a office building

>>4724322
I have been checking our corporate accounts for our companywide audit, and I have found a discrepancy. It looks like we are missing some dubs in our accounts. Do you know what happened to our dubs sir?

>>4724347
Please recheck all dubs should be accounted for. Also I want our quarterly reports on my desk by the end of the day

*takes the stairs because I'm scared of elevatores*
*collapses and dies halfway up*

>>4724354
*Passes you by on the stairs* ha what a faggot

*computer won't connect to internet*
Can someone page IT?

>>4724322
*gets caught browsing porn at work*
*gets promoted*

>>4724395
Introducing our new HR

>Cath can I borrow a stapler?

>>4724393
IT here, have you tried turning it on and off again?

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>>4724393
*installs adobe reader*

>>4724415
Thank you it works now

>>4724400
nice dubs,
it worked!
thanks for the tip

>>4724415
That's why your head of IT *eats candybar*

>>4724322
Can I get my stapler back, please.

>>4724440
What a waste of toner...

>>4724461
haha, that's ironic lol

>>4724461
Could have bought lots of toners with those quads. Seems like this is coming off my paycheck.

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>>4724322
To whoever put that sign up, don't tell me what to do

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>>4724351
Here is our quarterly reports sir.

>>4724484
Thank you. Looks like you might be getting a bigger bonus this year

>>4724477
nice dubs⬆
*types furiously

*staples dick to reports*
Jeez guys, that episode of the big bang was really neat! Bangazoonigger

It's 11:30am and I'm eating a really loud bag of chips at my desk

*jumps out 30th floor window*

*looks out 29th floor window*
aww jeez someones gonna have to clean that

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>>4724525
>>4724527

Memo: please stop vandalising the bathroom walls. It's everyone's designated shitting space thanks

>>4724513
AH YEAH

QUINTS
>>4724534
my bad
the manager made me do it

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how dare you

>>4724583
Hey don't look at me, the executive board made a late night vote, and ousted you out.

Not my fault that you paid our building's janitors with hotpockets and cheese pizza.

https://youtu.be/wMvZuPq9QL4

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*walks into break room*
Oh hey Mark.
*grabs a donut and takes a sip of coffee*
How was your weekend?

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>>4724621

>>4724621
Dude, Mark died last month. Are you ok?

*phone starts ringing*

>>4724621
Dude...Mark has been dead for months, you can't keep doing this to yourself

>>4724688
dubs confirms
poor mark popped his clogs

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Lynn just sent me this hilarious email xD

*forwards*

>>4724621
I regret to tell you that your cubicle neighbor Mark has been deceased for a month.

Arrives at the office later than usual, but still on time.

Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger

>>4724710
Arrives right behind him for same reason

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This is my office now, and I demand we eat ice cream during lunch.

>>4724696
lmao classic Mark

Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger

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>>4724724
jokez on ya' nigga

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*hits door with oversized dildo*
MAAARK I just finished shipping day. Let's celebrate by jousting with these giant dildos and computer chairs.

>>4724732
Security! Get this colored riffraff out of the building right now!

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>>4724743
You called?

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>>4724743
nigga i will fuckz u up niga i mean nigga im gonna fuckin' kill ya nigga

>>4724753
Looks like I'll have to call up the /pol/ department for security back up.

*dial phone*
Hello Shlomo?

Get me your best Moonmen up to the [s4s] floor.

Thanks.
*hang up phone*

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>>4724758
/pol/ here

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>>4724761
Please remove the color riffraff out of the building.

With extreme prejudice.

>>4724751
hot pic! i fapped

>>4724722
dubs checked

>>4724696
Now that we're all together we should pray for mark

>>4724763
Dude! That's not PC, you gotta be careful or you might have to talk to HR.

The correct way to say it is "Get these goddamn niggers out of here!"

>>4724322
>*staples dick to reports*
>Jeez guys, that episode of the big bang was really neat! Bangazoonigger

Shut up, frank

>>4724533
>33
Better check these before the boss notices they've been unchecked for 2 hours.

Your fortune: Good Luck

*phone is still ringing*

*is ringing*

I'm not getting it

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neither am i

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*pickes up phone*

hello who is it

>>4724921
/b/ floor is reporting a flooding of shit. Go down there and fix it.

we need to focus on dubs. please do the needful and check em

Hey boss, Linda is complaining that Mark is sexually harrasing her.

>>4724954
no thanks im going home goodbye

*wakes up in broom closet* yawn~ what a boring day, but hey I got paid

>>4724954
Tell them to turn it off and on again.

>>4725088
Dubs confirm here is ur money

Your fortune: Godly Luck

>>4724484
Q from big boss place here,corp needs more /tv/ next quarter

Someone called /pol/ over? I sensed it.

>>4725140
Boss linda is complaining about sexual harrasement

>>4725150
Linda's always complaining about sexual harassment. Last week she said the toilet molested her

>>4725140
Yes sir, will drop off the report next quarter.

Any other department you want to add sir?

>>4725164
She said she is going to sue

>>4724322
"Hey, Mr. Bossman, can I get a raise?"

Your fortune: Good news will come to you by mail

>>4725170
Judge Sir Hissington is a tough customer to convince when it comes to lawsuits. She's going to have a hard time in Snek Court.

Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger

>>4725144
confirming dubs check

>>4725144
I called them. I needed them to remove some riffraff out of the building.

With extreme prejudice.

Someone sent me a virus via email can i get IT

>>4725221
*opens programs, uninstalls adware* wow that virus is really stuck in there *browses 4chan for 30 minutes, then clears browser history* okay your clean.

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Gah! Somebody leaked my girly photos!

>>4725247
Hard to believe there all 10

>>4725255
>55
Y O U D O N ' T K N O W T H E M ! ! !

>>4725255
M-Misty was probably older than 10 when I was 8 when the show came out! So it's fine to crush on her!

>>4725260
Ummm >.>

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Code Alert! Code Alert! Too many rudefigs are posting on ESFORES! Le spikeman is breaching!

>>4725263
No wonder my daughter asked for a different babysitter but didn't say why

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Spikeman is actually small ._.

>>4725177
>77
*checks dubs*

Your fortune: Average Luck

Who clogged the toilet in the men's room?

Hey Johnson, how are those reports coming?

>>4725354
Probably someone from the /int/ department. I heard the Indians there put random shit there instead of putting their own literal shit in there.
>>4725361
First off it's Nathaniel. Second I already submitted my report.

Here it is >>4724484.

*smokes a joint in the broom closet*

you gotta stop working for the man and start working for yourself wage cucks

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Hey has anyone seen Adam? We were gonna do some backyard wrestling with Del.

>>4725398
He's hanging out with the dipshits from the /asp/ department.

Waggies

Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again

yeh i got a lil bit a turds droppin out ma pants but aint no big deal slim charles ya hurd meh

i;m going to kill myself on friday
#wow #woah

Your fortune: Excellent Luck

>>4725444
>444
*checks trips*

Your fortune: Very Bad Luck

>>4725470
what's that like?

Before I start working in this office, I'd like to know your names first. So who's who?

>>4725531
I'm Dildo Baggins

*walks in 8 hours late as per usual*
Honestly you guys this place is a mess. A MESS. I mean look at you, you're just sitting around looking at memes? There are literally people dying in this building AS WE SPEAK. Anime has been up 25% in the last quarter and post rate has increased by almost 15%... We need to either start taking this job seriously or GET OUT. What do we have to do?! I'll tell you what we have to do:
>>4724354
somebody needs to repair this elevator, I'm not going to fucking work in the fucking 31st floor until the god damn elevator's fixed.
>>4724395
Wilson, focus, I know I know we all jack off at work once in a while but right now we really need to listen to what the boss asks, and get this place fixed up.
>>4724450
Whoever took this poor man's stapler needs to give it back RIGHT NOW. I'm looking at you Johnson. Jesus Christ I feel like I'm teaching kindergarten here.
>>4724525
I thought I told you guys to stop watching TBBT last week?! Look I know I'm not the boss but when you're so retarted you're stapling your dick to those VERY IMPORTANT REPORTS THE BOSS WANTED some thing is seriously fucking wrong. Can someone PLEASE help this intern get his dick out of the reports? Anyone?! (wait so it was the INTERN who stole the stapler...? Hmm sorry Johnson)
>>4724527
FUCKING STOP WITH THE FUCKING CRISPS HARRY IT WASN'T FUNNY WEDNESDAY AND IT'S NOT FUNNY NOW
>>4724533
yes you are are right SOMEBODY has to clean this up, can some one tell me where the FUCK Mark is when you need him?! That lazy son of a BITCH better get down here RIGHT FUCKING NOW. Honestly somebody should call that lazy fucker up right now.
>>4724621
I hope you didn't eat the one's with the green sprikles my wife loves those ones and I take them to go ussually to bring home to her... Oh good *yoink*

>>4724652
Oh shit. Disregard what said earlier about him cleaning up that mess... Someone should prolly tell the boss we need a new FUCKING JANITOR BECAUSE THERE IS A MAN WAS SMASHED AGAIST THE PAVEMENT RIGHT OUTSIDE OUR WINDOW?!
>>4724710
>>4724722
You guy's are late so you have to clean up the mess outside... Yes I know, the boss didn't tell you do do it, but look we're really busy right now and the REAL workers need to get to work right now. Fuck.
>>4724763
There was a COLORED MAN here?! Can I get my shit disinfected?! Like right NOW?! Where the FUCK IS MARk... oh right.
>>4724963
YOU HEARD THE MAN
>>4724974
Tell Linda it's unethical to call dead people names. >>4725170 Also tell her sluts can't sue people
>>4725088
The day's not quite over yet bud.... Now HELP US WITH WORK...!
>>4725095
I'M NOT IT BUT I THINK THAT ONLY FIXES COMPUTERS I THINK
>>4725140
And as usual, it seems GEORGE is the one taking action thank GOD for that
>>4725247
GREGORY I... I NEED YOU TO SEND ME YOUR- YOUR FILES. I NEED TO- TO CHECK THEM ALL FOR ERRORS. YES.. E-EVEN THE ONE WITH THE GIRLS AND STUFF IN THEM YES PLEASE SEND THEM (well it's not like those will be the ones I'll see but you know please send ALL of it not JUST that because, really, why would I want that I mean- pshhh me? a p-p-pedophile?? n-noo H)HAHAHAHAHH... ohhhh classic greg... NOW SEND EM.
>>4725383
*ignores because a "cool" work environment is important to the millennials*
>>4725404
I thought everyone from the asp department were on break, HAS ANYONE SEEN ADAM- wait isn't asp on the 30th floor... *looks out window* S-SOMEBODY STILL NEEDS TO CLEAN ADAM OFF THE PAVEMENT. Fucking Christ, at least now we know who splattered down there and we can stop worrying about it. Now if you don't mind me I'M going to take this doughnut back to my wife like I SAID I would *turns around and slams door behind self to with plans to return tomorrow and yell about the fiscal quarter once again, or maybe even this yearly bracket who knows*

>>4724322
Work, work, work, work, work, work
He say me have to
Work, work, work, work, work, work!
He see me do me
Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt!
So me put in
Work, work, work, work, work, work
When you all gon'?
Learn, learn, learn, learn, learn
Me no care if him
Hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, hurting

I AM TOP GUN

I'm the building lol, people are inside me!

>>4725537
jorje is gaye

Hi I'm Jim Halpert.

*talking to boss* hey so do I get paid for internship?

*shakes ass*

I don't have a job and I'm bad at role play -- can I still participate?

Shit guys sorry I'm late. I was stuck in traffic and couldn't find the time to wake up in the morning. Where's the boss ?

Hows the paperwork going?
Oh you want me to fill in this document?
Oh it says "Dear office worker, we are happy you are doing the best work you can, but if you don't reply to this post your mother will die in her sleep tonight and you will get fired"

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Greetings, friends that I have knowledge of.
I am here to buisiness, and not spy.
I am not spy man from /trash/ to spy on fellow coworkers.
Now, can a fellow coworker direct me to the launch codes?
Am not spy.

>>4725604
I'm pretty sure unpaid internships are illegal these days

>>4725532
>>4725575
>>4725578
>>4725586
Nice to meet you all! I'll be happy to work with you on my first day!

*makes a sarcastic face at le camera*

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>>4724393
It her wat wrong

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Our client has made another request that is out of scope but we are out of dubs.

Perhaps we can give them this 7 instead

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Hey laura, we are running of ghost whip creams. Do you mind picking some up? Remember Darren is lactose intolerant, so get him a cool whip ghost. Thanks Laura, you're a peach

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I'm afraid to

announce that

our company

has been declared

bankkruptcy

under all chapters

no memes could save our asses now

good night everyone

im sorry

>>4724477
Whoa nice double dubs there, John.
I'll expect that new batch of memes by Friday, the leadership are dragging me by the balls tbqhwys.
>>4724484
Very nice. Tell the /pol/acks they'll be getting better mods, from what I've heard they're out of their minds.

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I have come up with a new system, this will stop any potential insiders and outsiders from harming or taking our meme assets

>>4725891
Looks good. I'll run it by our legal department.

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>>4724322
hey there pal you finished the report on the taxes yet because I haven't and I cant because I need to spend time with my wife please do it im considering suicide this isn't happy AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
oh whats this???
nice board haha its not nice its just stupid haha

*looks deeper*

Wow! this is frikkin ultra lol

...

*3 yrs pass*

wow its not nice anymore better go back the office :^(

btw im a girl give me attention

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>>4725848
Gentlemen, we have a problem.
A customer has requested dubs, and was originally intended to recieve a 7 as consolation.
They however recieved an 8.
We must obtain more dubs so as to provide to our consumers so that this may not happen again.
This is urgent, as you can see.

>>4725906
You should make a proposal for the boss, my dude. Save it for the meeting or something. check em

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show me the reports xdpddddddddddddddddd haha

>>4725926
not looking good bad on dubs :^(

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>>4725886


Did you mail those invoices off to corporate?

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>>4725752
This goy seems like a trustworthy fellow, give him all of your gold and shekels.

>>4725935
Yessir, I've yet to hear from them, though.
Are our right wing death squads still operational, do they require any maintenance? Get a guy to check up on them, I've got my hands full at the moment.

>>4725906
Do not worry I have it covered

*clocks in* anybody's computer have issues while me and ms. Pea were off duty?

>>4726666
Danque Quads fam, my personal computer has been operating at peak efficiency

>>4726666
Your appraisal:
time management = amazing
efficiency = 100%
quads = yes - 6666
very good work, keep it up and you might be in line for that promotion

Your fortune: Good Luck

>>4726678
Just checking I'm going back to my basement now * heads upstairs*

>>4726691
Thanks boss can you move the IT basement to the top floor, I like the view

>>4725866
>>4725899
*checks dubs*

Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again

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>>4726713

>>4725752
Launch codes are locked up in a DNA-keyed briefcase. Ask the CEO.
>>4725754
It's legal if you are a student in college/high school.
>>4725848
No give them a six.
>>4725866
Those dubs just save the company.
>>4725886
Will do sir.
>>4725906
You forgot to put /v/ in the chart.
>>4726666
Clocked in and you already closed in on the quads deal. Promotion!

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>>4727049

>>4726666
Please help me I can't get dubs

if i preteternt to work in an office, i won t be ablto pretent im dringing liquor now will i

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Hey guys, what is that outside the window?

>>4727197
Only fags look out the window

>>4724322
my computer broke

>>4727268
if looking out the window makes you a fag then i am a total faggotronic maximus

PASS.
ME.
THE CAFFEINE!

>>4727197
Itt it is 2001

dr boat paging dr noke to dodoncology

>>4724322
Umm boss
Where the fuck is everyone?

>>4728156
Roll playing is 4 losers lol

>>4728161
Thats not very nice

My daughter is selling chocolate bars for her soccer team, want to buy one?

Kek.

>>4728200
I'll buy 12 but only if your daughter licks each individual one

>>4728208
Do you need to watch her do it or can I just bring in licked ones tomorrow?

>>4728210
No I have to watch her do it.

>>4728228
Good thing it's bring your daughter to work day tomorrow.

>>4728231
Wow what a coincidence

Has anyone heard from mark? He was supposed to finish that

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>>4724322
ALOHA SNACKBAR
*crashes into building

>>4728319

>>4727197
saw that one coming

y'all should have listened
smh

>>4728200
>00
Checked

Your fortune: Godly Luck