cooking
It was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of the bitches I know, Jessica. She is really fucking hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Jessica called me and said she wanted me to fuck her. So be it.
I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferrari's have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my cock. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my cock. Booya.
Flash forward to like 10 minutes later. My 30 inch cock is going inside of her pussy, hitting them walls. I'm holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I'm fucking her and she has 30,000 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says "harder." V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I blow my load so hard she falls off my cock. There had to have been about two pints of cum everywhere. People say I cum like a pornstar, I wouldn't disagree with them.
I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home.
>>4695148
Easter?
>>4695145
oh wow!
everyone on {esfores} is really good at cooking!!
>>4695145
make sure to put some oil there
you don't want it to stick on the pot
>>4695264
I absolutely do want it to stick to the pot! What kinda dish do u think this is?
>>4695273
beats me
meh
>>4695148
That's a pedestrian way of going about things. Next time pick a girl less slooty and a girl that isn't eying your cock calling you up to have sex with her like a primeval ape
Take her to dinner, and slow the f*ck down you fool. What you're doing is dangerous, and it's not cool. Yeah sure, it sounds cool on the internet and people laughed and enjoyed your meme story but that doesn't mean some kids will read your story and will not want to try things at home.
Your cock isn't 30 inches, average penis size goes to like 5.5. inches.
The fact that you copulated with that young women so quickly means that you don't know what being a man is really like. Nothing you did sounds poetic at all. Nothing romantic, your life sounds like one long-ass porno. Banal as heck m8.
I would not want to live your life because you will grow up one day and realize that there's something missing. That is, you've lived a shallow existence and didn't try to create more from your life, a life with transcendent justice.
Nah man, I hate your life with a passion, you really bring out the worst of humanity.
>>4695145
image.jpg
>>4695145
U have reached a new low
>>4695145
Hey my mom has that same stove...
Good cooking my lad, maybe if you work hard youll be a great cook boy
>>4696420
me-me #1 cooking boy
>>4696385
Hey my guinnea pig has that same mom...
>>4696443
Hey my labrador retriever has that same guinea pig...
>>4696448
Hey my little sister has that same labrador retriever...
>>4696463
What the FUCK1?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!??!?!!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!!?!?!!?!!!?!!??!?!!!!!?!!?!!?!??!?!?!??!?!??!!?!?!!?!?!