This board sucks. It's just a dedicated shitposting board.

>>4462551
reported
rude
>>>/b/

The problem is, OP, that you probably aren't seeing all the posts. If you are just viewing [s4s] through the /s4s/ board, you don't see the green posts, the posts with letters in their ids, or anything numberless. Together, those make up about 40-70 percent of [s4s], depending on the day. So conversation will appear disjointed and spastic, because you won't be getting the full picture.

I actually just flipped over to the /s4s/ interface to make this post, and it's pretty funny how unintelligible [s4s] is like this.

The point of layering all the irony on is to filter people who aren't sharp enough to get it.

>>4462551
hi

I have a sexual attraction to household appliances. You may think I'm joking, but I'm not. Before you call me a freak or degenerate, let me tell you why;

I was on vacation with my mom & dad in San Antonio. We arrived around 8 or 9 at night and checked in at the nearest Motel 6. Desperate to catch some sleep from the roadtrip, I rushed up the stairway to our room and in the process ripped my cargo pants.

This usually wouldn't be a problem, but somehow I had forgotten my briefcase. I had no willpower to fret over it, I could just get another pair at Walmart tomorrow. Right then I needed some sleep, so I passed out on the floor because my parents hate eachother and needed separate beds.

I woke up the next morning and went downstairs to get my share of the continental breakfast. They had a waffle iron that you put your own batter in and waited about 45 seconds until it was done. Now, being the dumbfuck I am, I decided it would be a good idea to mix maple syrup into the batter.

When the iron beeped, I rushed to open it, and in the process burnt the ever-loving shit out of my thumb. I put it on ice and then tried once more to open the foul beast, only this time with an oven mitt that the staff had so kindly provided. I was not prepared for the evil that awaited me. It was so poorly formed, so burnt in some areas and so liquidy in others.

Then it happened. The syrup that I had added bubbled up and fucking flew right into the tear in the crotch of my pants. I don't even know how it could've done so at that angle, but I did know that my dick was burning with the fury of a thousand suns. I yelped, ran up to my room, forced the door open and hopped into the shower. Luckily nobody was in there.

>>4462551
go ahead and make some, all your doing is literally making the board worse, it's pretty lame and hypocritical

This board is shit. It's an excuse for wanna/b/e "old /b/" faggots to indulge in & express their "secret" "guilty pleasure" for childish "LOL SO RANDUM AND WACKY XD XD"/whimsy "humour" and/or their delusional newfag perception of what "old /b/ use to /b/" under the guise of "irony".
>"LOL I'M NOT RLY AND IDIOT WHO LIKES THIS UNFUNNEY SHIT I'M JUST PRETENDEDING TO LIKE IT IN AND IRONIC WAY WHICH SATIRIZES THOSE WHO ACTUALLY DO LIKE IT AS WELL AS PEOPLE LIKE ME WHO KNOW IT'S STUPID XD LOL GEDDIT? WE'RE LAFFING @ OTHERS AND OURSELVES IN AND IRONIC WAY GUIZE LOL XD SO IRONIC XDDD".
In actuality you're just an unfunny idiot trying too hard.
>B-B-BUT IT'S OKAY BECAUSE WE KNOW THAT AND THAT'S WHY WE'RE DOING IT LOL RITE GUIZE? IT'S GOOD BECAUSE WE KNOW IT'S BAD XD
No. You're just attempting to justify a guilty pleasure/save face.
You're not fooling anyone (apart from yourself). You're not being ironic. Ironically, you're just posting shit attempting to masquerade as irony.
And no, this post isn't intended to be "a whole new/superior/cleverly disguised level of irony which satirizes those who dislike/disapprove of you/this cancerous board"/"ironically unironic", it's just pointing out the obvious which, ironically, you can't see and/or accept.
I can categorically & undeniably guaranty that if you introduced this board to any sane regular Joe, they'd immediately laugh at and/or disassociate themselves from you. You'd desperately attempt to rationalize their response as crude ignorance ("TOP KLEK THEY JUST DON'T GEDDIT XD WEW WATA NEWBZ0R HUEHUEHUE"), ironically, however, they do understand but they're just correctly acknowledging you're a faggot who's pathetically attempting to be a "clever" special snowflake with a "whimsical & childish yet sharp, ironic, uniquely absurd & esoteric - yet ironically relateable - sense of humour" & responding appropriately.
Feel free to respond with more "ironic" inanity which proves my entire point, then kill yourself.

>>4462561
I tore my clothes off and turned the water on as cold as it would go. I was crying at this point, but the water soothed the pain. Then I realized that the syrup was still stuck to my penis. I had to do the unthinkable; I had to vigorously masturbate with the generic hotel shampoo in order to save my burning dick.

I'll spare you the details, but I had the best orgasm of my life. When I was done I noticed that the scarring from the burn was shaped like a heart. It was a sign. God had directed that syrup into my pants so I could find true love. In the coming months, I could never see a waffle iron without getting an erection. In the coming years, my fetish spread to toasters and blenders.

One day, I was staying at my grandmother's house to make sure she didn't hurt herself in a dementia fueled frenzy. She started watching infomercials about pressure cookers and I just couldn't control myself. I had to recreate the magic of that first night. I unplugged her toaster and took it to the shower. My bulbous erection blinded me from the danger of my actions, but I didn't care.

The next thing I knew I woke up in a hospital bed with a nurse telling me they had found my body in the bath, next to a toaster covered in semen. I was shortly transferred to a mental health facility who thought that I had attempted suicide. They made me stay for two months because I kept telling them that I just wanted to fuck a toaster.

Anyway that's my story. I'm a little more adjusted now but still get a chubby from waffle irons sometimes.

>>4462562
wait never mind i take that back this board is a hot pile of shit right now, fuck you all

>>4462565
*guarantee

wow! did exacly proofread thid did you? :^) taht;s ok i'm not thre grammer poiice j/k

Your fortune: Excellent Luck

>>4462551
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>>4462562
>>4462565
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>>4462595
hi

>>4462599
heloo friend :^)

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

>>4462599
nice dubs yo

epic

gud bread mod pls smell

whimsical & childish yet sharp, ironic, uniquely absurd & esoteric - yet ironically relateable - sense of humour

Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger

File: 1458604956720.jpg (49KB, 500x401px) Image search: [Google]

49KB, 500x401px

>>4463433
nice dubs :^)