When a Robot Wins

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Oh oh here's a good one:

>Be me
>In grad school for philosophy (fuck me, right?)
>Decide to apartment up with two students (whom I have never met before) from my program.
>One is a girl
>We hit it off from the moment I meet her
>Obvious sexual tension
>Me being an impatient fuck decide to bring up "muh feelings" and of course it doesn't work out
>She instead goes for buff muscle dude in our department
>Dude is obviously a virgin and overcompensating
>She goes on a few dates with him at the behest of my advice
>On the third date, she has to make the move for a first kiss because the dude is awk as hell
>He replies "that was random"
>She apologizes and promptly leaves his apartment
>Turns out the dude is gay
>Now she hates men (more than she originally did) and is decides to only go for women
>I'm still sitting here like: we coulda avoided the whole thing if ya just chose me
>realize I dodged a bullet, and have gone on a few dates with another girl from the philosophy department
>mfw a robot actually wins for once
>inb4 "not actually a robot"
>inb4 "faggot"