Who /sensie/ here?

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When I changed schools when I was 14 I left some decent basketball shoes at the gym locker room.

One of the many wastes of money that followed in my life.

>>39647010
>have lighter that I got when I was an edgy rocker teen and used to get drunk with other edgy teens
>scratched to fuck
I never leave the house without it because it was the best 2 years of my life

>>39647115
I get far too attached to inanimate objects. I still tear up when I think about how my childhood stuffed animals are gone forever.

>>39648052
This desu, I still wear my rocker jacket almost all the time, fuck I miss those times so much

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>>39647010
>Dad forced me to walk into a strip-club
>18 years old
>Saw all of the people going to see half-naked girls
>Feel intense disappointment that people would delete the fact that a human being is in front of them
>Start crying as we walk outside
>Suddenly realize that I'm fundamentally different from most of the human species

>>39648334
This is why I can't watch porn.

>>39648350
>>39648334
I can get off to porn as I get off to suffering, and I'm not forced to connect to the human-being on the other-side, but seeing it in real life is too painful.

>>39648334
I've never been to a strip club. There's definitely an ick factor to it.

>>39647010
How do other sensitive people reconcile posting on 4chan? I'm not triggered, there's just so much needless anger and shit flinging on this site that it feels like this place is "toxic" to my mind after a while. Anyone know what I mean?

>>39648334
snowflake: the post

>>39649450
Have you been into the outside world?
Most people aren't like that.

>current crush always responds to me doing /sensie/ stuff by saying stuff like "awww" or "how sweet"
>no clue if she's one of those girls who are into sensitive guys or if im being textbook friendzoned
>since i'm sensitive of course this worries me a lot

why do sensitive guys fall in love?

>>39647010
When I was in fourth grade I sat by myself at lunch.
I stopped bringing lunch to school because I didn't feel like eating, to make matters worse lunch aids would give me the bare minimum lunch because they thought i couldnt aford to eat.
I just wanted to sit and feel bad alone, now they add insult to injury.

>>39650117
Give it a shot, friendo. I know it's easier said than done, but if she acts like that around you, she likes you on at least some level. Some girls are into that kind of stuff. My gf is one of them. She consistently turned down "tough" guys and "cool" guys before meeting me.

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>close eyes
>clear mind
>focus on sensations of touch and air pressure
>think about how it seems to make more sense for nothing to exist at all rather than all this
>focus on the sensation of being
>get a huge grin on my face and get tingles all over my skin as I think about how this experience of just being is the meaning and core to everything

>>39647010
Anon that breaks my heart. Do you want a new one? Do you like the plastic kind, or old school metal kind?

>>39650259
See you when she'll be choking on "tough" guy's dick not that long from now.

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>>39650342
Thanks, anon. I actually ended up finding it a few days later, so that put my heart at rest, but I was a wreck for those few days. All over a simple lunch box. It's a clear plastic one with a blue trim.

>>39650117
You should be happy to have a friend. A lot of people react that way when they genuinely like you but don't feel like they know you close enough to express outward affection.

>>39650486
Oh that's cool! I went to one of those flea markets with tons of random imported crap recently, and I found a really cool lunchbox with old 90s Cartoon Network characters on it. I didn't need it and I don't typically leave my house, but I got it anyways because it made me feel happy and nostalgic.

Maybe someday I'll pack a lunch and have it outside at a park or someplace nice like that.

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this thread makes me more comfy than i'd like to admit

>>39650558
Sounds like a good excuse to get out of the house. I confess to being quite a homebody, but when I force myself to go outside, I usually feel better for it.

90s Cartoon Network was the best. We first got it in 98. I used to watch it all the time. Definitely one of the defining moments of my childhood.

>>39650621
I didn't have CN at my house, so I associate it with visiting my grandmothers house. PPG is still one of my favorite cartoons to this day.

I make cartoons now as an adult, and the influence is quite obvious in my style.

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>>39650574
>this thread makes me more comfy than i'd like to admit
I was about to post the exact same thing.

>>39650695
I wish we could make a nicechat, but it'd either get raided or we'd all be too shy and passive and the chat would die.

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>>39649303
I know exactly what you mean, anon.
Thanks for letting me know i'm not alone.

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>>39650721
Now that you mention it, it is kinda sad.
I wish i could be a little bit more sociable.

>>39650683
My favorite was Ed, Edd and Eddy. Love that show. I'm happy for you that you're doing something you love with your cartoons. I'm still in "whatever job I can get" territory. In a few years, when I've built up a solid history at my current job (too spotty beforehand), I'll apply to the police. I've always wanted to help and keep people safe. That would satisfy me.

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>>39650832
>Ed, Edd and Eddy
Funny you said that.
I've found this earlier on Jewtube and i felt like i was a child again: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxgjNEIUrd4

>>39649303
The posts that are obviously shitposting rather than actual anger don't bother me, and I avoid threads that look like they'll be mostly angry shitflinging. Still though, this place brings me down if I spend too long here.

That's why I spend most of my time on the porn boards.

>listening to ITAOTS while driving to class
> during that time while the sun is still rising, casting its light and with it shadows effected by obtrusive trees
>start tearing-up at the sensation of beauty caused by all of this
>also would tear-up while reading Whitman

>>39650904
That is glorious. It always makes me feel kinda warm that certain parts of my childhood are shared with so many other people. Like I have a connection to people, even though they're complete strangers.

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Real extra-sensitive-person here. I'm constantly having to protect myself from "energy vamprism," particularly other people who try to see my soul through my eyes, and hypermasculine types of men who present themselves confrontationally. I literally have to close my eyes when people stare at me on the street trying to get eye contact, and I learned to just ignore Chads who say "How's it going." To other people this all looks pretty weird, like I'm super shy or intentionally rude, but none are the case. Its all about protecting my energetic state from infiltration by other people, intentional or not. When I make the mistake of being caught off guard by people I'm like a deer in the headlights, I can feel part or my soul energy drain out of my eyes and my magnetic aura weaken when a man who is more masculine than me stares into my eyes. With women I don't care, I can meet their eye contact with my deadpan autistic lack-of-facial-expression. But I'm uncomfortable making eye contact with men I don't know, because my flight-or-fight nervous system it feels like we're preparing to kill each other. This is actually the reality though, since every social interaction is a power exchange as well, and since I lack a strong masculinity to come off as dominant, and don't even want to play any such games, I ignore and avoid any emoting towards other men to avoid being submissive.

Overall, its obvious to me that my mode of mental and emotional functioning is very primal, I was designed to perceive everything and everyone as a potential threat, and be hypervigilant to protect myself.

>>39647010
OP you're not extra sensitive, you're just a whiny weak ass bitch pussy. Real ESPs don't get attached to objects, also they have difficulty lying or hiding things because they can't fake emotions.

>In sixth grade
>Sat at the back of a bunch with a roastie and three bully kids (have no idea why I stayed back there)
>They'd bully me every now and then but it wasn't that huge of a thing for the most part
>One day they spit on me and my Asian friend
>As I got to get off of the bus a Ukranian kid trips me and a bunch of my papers go flying all over the place
>Go home and cry
>Next year, 7th grade
>Some kid goes to trip me to impress a girl
>I punch him into the window
>He grabs me and I start punching him over and over again
>He lets go and I get to the front of the bus
>Bus driver asks me what happened
>Through choked-back tears I say "He tried to trip me!"
>Run off the bus and cry back at home

I stopped being bullied after that but fuck, man. I'm a really pathetic piece of shit.

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>>39651179
Shit, i had almost the exact same experience. Though the bullying only gotten worse.
I was so fucking kind that i involuntarily held back my strength to not hurt the other kid.
So, yeah. He punched me once and i punched him several times. I'm crying with my face hurting and he's unharmed laughing at me along with the entire class.
What can be more pathetic than this?

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>>39651179
>>39651367
>getting bullied at school
>look around at the class
>theyre all laughing
>look to the teacher for help
>shes laughing too

>mom cleaned out the kitchen cupboards yesterday night and found my first aerochamber from when I was a kid(if your asthma is bad enough that you need the strong inhalers they'll give you a little tube with a mouthpiece attached
>"anon, would this help with your inhalers?"
>nod furiously, just thinking about the teddy bear on the side of the tube
>take it and use it when it dries
>the mouthpiece that was designed for a small child no longer works to get the medicine in my mouth
>no way for me to use it anymore
>I still sleep with a teddy bear because I'm so incredibly sad and the only thing that lets me forget about it is escapism and sleeping

>>39651367
I get really attached to almost every girl who shows romantic interest in me, making myself an open book. We have a bit of fun but then give it two weeks (at max) and I'm back to feeling like a pathetic mess.
It makes me feel like I'm broken or just incapable of being loved or something.
I mean, it's not as bad as your bullying experience but it just adds to how pathetic I am.

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>>39651496
>I get really attached to almost every girl who shows romantic interest in me
Ugh. This is something i can also relate to.
There was a cute girl in school who was obsessed with me, but my autism couldn't let me say one sentence without sperging out like an absolute retard. I ended up dropping school because of a shock and did not see her again but her face still haunts me, it's been six years already.
I could post the full story but it would take several posts worth of greentext and i'm not ready to face these feels again.

It hurts too much.

>>39651179
Oh that really sucks. I was bullied on the bus too.

>live in backwoods middle of nowhere
>an hour out of town
>have to leave the house at 6:30 am to get to school on time
>country bumpkin kids often bring dirt and bugs onto the bus
>terrified of bugs
>they bring cicadas and cicada shells into the bus
>I'm visibly made uneasy by them
>hillbillies notice and shove them into my face, hook the shells onto my clothes
>I'm choking back tears nearly every day
>being abused at home and bullied on the way to school and bullied at school

Elementary fucking sucked.

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Sometimes I feel so pathetic that I want to cry but for some reason I'm just not able to do it. I know that if I did I'd feel better, but I just can't and end up feeling pathetic for up to days on end until it fades away on its own.

I'm at that low rn

>>39647010
>come across a dead forum from many years ago
>feel sad
>worse if it was one that a kid started that never got many members but he put a lot of effort into it

>>39652329
I get the same feeling when I walk past a shop or restaurant and it's always empty. I'll usually patronize them if I have the money, just because I feel bad for them.

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>>39650574
>>39650695
Reading other robots' sensie stories makes me feel like I'm not alone, not just as a robot, but as a person.

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Sensy stuff that I do
>found plushie on the street, take it, clean it and put it in my shelf
>cry when it rains because of the cats outside that don't have an home getting wet
>knows that my dad dosen't love me but always say to him "I love you" and spend time bothering him, then crying him my room alone because he has a new daughter to love now
>still have some old dresses from when I was a child, can't throw it away
>feel bad when someone send me the ":(" face, even if just joking
>when my plushie fall from my bed pick it up ad fast as I can
>still have a photo of my dad and I in my room cause I still got hope
>cry thinking about lonely cats
Too sensy

>>39654521
>found plushie on the street
I do this too. When I see them, I can't bear to leave them. To me, it's like leaving a person wounded in the street without calling help. I have to take them in.

>>39649303
Yup. Bad energy aplenty. Does me in sometimes and I have to back up. The porn boards on /b/ have a remarkable visual affect on how I see woman after a while of constant browsing

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>>39654602
I know, I could never leave them there. One time I found a pair of glasses, I wanted to leave them there but then I returned and took it. Also I pick up Pokemon cards when I found them.

>>39648052
I'm 30 and I've still got the one I was given the day I was born.
Still have it out in the open on my bedside table.
Even woke up still a bit drunk/hungover a few weeks back cuddling him.
Honestly would be the only item I'd take to a deserted island with or the only thing I'd grab if the house was on fire.
If anything ever happened to it I'd honestly lose my shit and I don't think I'd EVER get over it... it's the most important thing I've ever owned.

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>>39654672
>>39654972
Stuffed animals and other cute kids' toys seem so alive to me. My childhood stuffed animals are all gone after a move, and I still tear up over the thought of them being gone. I have new stuffed animals now (despite my advancing years), and if the house is on fire, they'd probably be the first thing I'd run into the flames for after the hamster.

Thanks for the chats, sensie friends. I'm off to bed now. Got an early shift tomorrow morning. Stay sensie, everyone. :)

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>Play game/watch show
>Get too emotionally involved
>Literally cry if protagonist succeeds in achieving goal or finding the girl

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I'm in love with several fictional characters and I often think about them before I go to bed, when I'm stressed, or when I'm just daydreaming.

I draw pictures of me and them together, and my friends who engage in the same fantasies indulge all our fantasies together.

It makes me so happy and comfy. All my favorite characters would be head over heels for me, and the thought is one of the most comforting things in earth.

>>39655438
>several fictional characters
Which ones?

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>>39655470
I don't have access to my desktop currently, but I need to add a couple new characters that I've been fixated on lately.

It always hurts to have to replace them, but I've been doing this for over a decade now, and old childhood flames do die out as I mature and change as well.

>>39655470
luna from the load house, ms puff from spongebob, and eddy from ed edd and eddy

sometimes mable from gravity falls too...

>>39655992
>Chloe Price and Jacket (in the middle)
Why?

>>39655994
>luna from the load house
Because she's a tomboy?

>>39656072
i like to draw hentai of the loud house and she is artsy

>>39647010
I get way to attached to movie/tv characters. I hate horror movies not because theyre scary but because i feel sad that the people have to go through all that stuff

>>39656044
To be fair you can kinda relate to jacket
Although I agree that anon's list is weird

Tfw dani wont pick up on your advances

>>39656044
Jacket makes me feel safe. His stoic demeanor and general silence is calming, and I like the idea of staying in his cramped apartment. We'd watch 80s horror movies together and eat pizza.

I love Chloe a lot, she reminds me of a very close friend of mine i knew growing up that I had a big crush on. She's obnoxious and bratty, with cool style and interests. She tries so obviously to be cool because she's self conscious, and is clearly just a big dork. I want to hold her close while we share a joint and watch old MTV shows. I also relate VERY hard to Max, we're very similar.

>>39656381
>I love Chloe a lot,
So have you played Life is Strange : Before Storm? You play as Chloe there.

>>39656504
I haven't been able to yet. I'm very excited to, but uncertain how to feel about how she's 16 and also with Rachel in the game.
Seeing her with Rachel makes me kinda jealous, and I'm also an adult so seeing her so young makes me feel kinda uncomfortable.
My brain is like "Hey, that's your girlfriend that you love!" And I'm like "Okay but she's 16"

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> tear-up for no reason
> fall in love easily with men/women i meet
> afraid of being rejected, but get akward and sometimes creepy when confessing attraction (i've only confessed attraction to men online and never a woman in my life because there are no cute sounding women on the internet :[ )
> hug, kiss, and dryhump pillow at night thinking of what could be

>>39656721
Dude, when I was in middle school I had a crush on this guy but got rejected HARD (he said I was too boyish and he liked my best friend).
To cope, I kissed and hugged a pillow while in bed every night, pretending it was Jack Spicer from Xiaolin Showdown.

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>get a mean reply to a post i make
>feel like utter shit and think about ending it

>>39648334
Are you me.
>mom makes my older brother hang out with me because no friends
>chad brother lost his licence so i drive him around
>even still he dispises the fact that im there
>he and his friends start smoking weed in the back seat
>I tell them to stop and they make fun of me
>make me drive them to a strip club
>tell them i dont want to go in
>the call me gay
>I go in
>they just leave me in the back
>sit down and try not to make eye contact
>striper comes up and starts talking to me
>answer in short quick replies
>tell her i don't want to be here and my brother drug me in
>say as loud as she can "oh hes shy"
>give hear the death stare for a solid minute before I storm out.
>cry for like an hour and a half till i have to drive my drunk ass brother and friends home.

>>39647010
>lost my favorite hat at some concert
>been pushing down the pain
All of my security blankets have been taken from me one by one in a short time period. Like the world is kicking me while I'm down. Fuck you world!!!!

>>39651733
Bus = hell
a kid ejaculated on me when i was alseep. Later held me down and tried to rape me. I managed to kick square in the face, then he beat the shit out of me, but at least I didnt get a dick in my ass.

>>39657223
That's terrifying. People need to take better care of their kids so they don't end up doing inane shit like this and ruining other kids lives.

this thread has made me want to blogpost slightly, so if you read it that's fine, but if you don't that's fine too

when i was a kid i was overly sensitive and would cry easily, and other kids made fun of me for that
when i got into highschool i decided the best way to cope would be to harden up inside and just get angry and bitter at things instead, it worked for getting me through without much hassle but now i don't like the nasty reactionary thoughts i have to things as a result of that
i miss when i was more "pure" so i've been trying post-highschool to rid myself of all those bitter coping mechanisms, and i think it's working for the most part
one day i hope to return to thinking more positively and not harshly about things as i once did

>play Virtue's Last Reward
>reach Tenmyouji's ending
>cry like a bitch at Quark's letter
>much later reach Luna's ending
>cry like a massive bitch for 3 weeks until I finally got over it

I think I really love crying and being sad about stuff, because that's the emotion I feel strongest.

>>39658015
I knew this sweet kid in school who was popular because he was smart and his mom was a well liked school counselor.
He would cry SO easily under any small amount of pressure, and it always broken my heart and made me want to cry.

I also dealt with abuse as a child and had to hold back tears at school often. One girl in my class told me "Listen, I know it's hard. I want to cry every day, but you can't let others see. It's for you to process alone." Turns out she was being abused too. Life is cruel.

>>39659224
she sounds like a nice girl what happened to her? did she buckle?

>was the most /sensie/ kid that ever lived
>I used to cry every new years eve because I felt sorry for the current year coming to an end
>teenage years crippled by family issues and severe mental illness
>completely desensitised now
>feelsbadbutalsokindagoodman.png

>>39659304
She had poor social skills due to being raised by her abusive trailer trash parents, so she belonged to the group of trashy, sexually active, dramatic kids in school.

She was sweet and quite cute, but acted out quite a bit and had this total moron troublemaker for a boyfriend. He cheated on her, which became common knowledge once she announced that she's given up men and going to only date women.

I don't know what she's up to now, all I know is that abuse ruins almost all chances of living a normal healthy life.

>>39658015
This is something that's hard for many autists to learn - you need to be complex in your emotions, not just dedicate yourself to one demeanor. Be nice to nice people, be a dick to dicks. Always expect someone to be an asshole and guard yourself but hope that they don't. And when they're nice you're nice. Don't just either be in always nice mode or always an ass mode. Hard for the socially retarded to master this.

>>39648334
I'm almost 30, never been to a strip club and never will go to one, the very thought is disgusting to me. I'm not a virgin and I love sex. But paying for women to dance in front of you while around a bunch of other horny dudes? Just stupid/disgusting in my opinion. Besides, why the fuck would you do that when you can watch porn for free, and it's the full deal not just a tease? I don't understand. Whatever.