i'm broken

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>be me
>have anxiety
>straight, twink/skelly
>waited for 40 mins for a bus going home after work
>bus finally arrives
>only a few seats left
>a couple at the back next to some crackheads
>and one next to a qt about my age
>decide it's best to sit next to the qt
>sit down and immediately start sweating profusely
>breathing heavily
>put in my earphones and try to relax and focus on the music
>can't do it
>she's glancing my way every so often and i'm just staring into my own fucking personal abyss
>neck and back aches from trying to maintain respectable posture
>sweating continues and progressively gets more and more noticeable
>finally decide enough is enough, can't do it anymore
>get off the bus at the next stop in the middle of fuck knows where
>have to wait another 45 mins for the next bus to take me home

i'm tired of this shit, i'm done with the outdoors.

also, is this a case of 'the power they have'?
or 'the power i lack'?