>be me >be alone at home >start practicing smiles, laughs

>be me
>drunk at home
>start practicing singing for ???
I hope I get to be a banshee or a siren or something gay like that
Pipe dreams, I know, I know.

>>39614703
I do that too
>start singing my favourite songs
>imagining I'm back in highschool
>playing to all the 10/10s and the friends I don't have anymore

>>39614685
I did all of that, also practiced debating myself on several topics I would like to discuss with friends and dates (LMAO).

All for nothing.

>>39614685
It's like you are.. a robot.

>>39614685
Cheer up my dude. Better to be prepared. I recommended having a conversation with yourself in the mirror for 20 minutes. It will be awkward as fuck in the beginning, but it'll help you banter in social settings. Gotta start somewhere.
>note: politicians/speakers do this

>have only one friend
>hang out with him only once a week
>spend the other six days preparing interesting anecdotes and funny jokes

he thinks that I'm clever and funny but 99% of the time I'm a boring idiot and he's just seeing the greatest hits

>Practicing smiles

we've all fucking done it

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216KB, 584x530px

>>39616247
What if i talk to myself for 18 hours everyday ?
My mind does this so i won't lose my sanity.,

>>39617020
Jesus Christ, this scares me as a friendless fuck. Having friends must be so exhausting unless you made them as a very little kid and basically have that almost telepathic kinship some normies claim.

How do you even get anecdotes?

>>39617071
It is very exhausting because if you stop being that fun guy to hang out with you'll lose your only source of human contact. So you spend your entire time together entertaining him and not having any fun yourself.

Even if I have no friends I still make an effort to go out and do things, so I get stories from that. Or I just steal stuff from obscure movies and /r9k/.

>>39617355
How long have you kept it up? How old are you? I'm taking notes of this...

>>39617415
Depending on the person, you just need seem wise and make smart jokes every once in a while. Go have some drinks with them too. Drunk its easier

>>39617415
23. Moved to a new city where I didn't know anyone after college.

My only friend is a guy from my old job. We both like chess, so that's usually what we do together. At first he was basically using me as a free tutor since I'm much better than him, and he didn't seem to actually enjoy my company that much. But now after a couple of months he laughs at all my jokes and we even have not-chess and not-work related conversations sometimes. Last time he even said
>Hey man, looking forward to next week. Maybe we can hang out more often.

which made me so happy but I'm also scared because I don't think I have enough material for two days a week.

>>39617675
God damn man, I'm rooting for you so hard. I don't want to make you fail, I don't have any good advice to give but try to lie as little as possible, it's hard to keep up a charade.

>>39617675
>>39617854
I'm rooting for both of you! Guys it is tough and it will always be but you can be tougher!

>imagining comebacks for an argument where you lay a verbal smackdown on someone and BTFO them

>>39618253
Well I have to find a friend first but right now I'm sending all of my energy to chess-anon.

>>39617071
I'm quite sure that I actually have some psychic ability. I can feel womens emotions when I look into their eyes. Ever since I was a child I felt awkward about looking into the eyes of others, now I know why.
I think it's mostly a good thing. If I know when they're feeling bad I can try to steer them away from it and that keeps the conversation going smoothly. Most people don't realize that confusion is a very bad feeling because they've only ever felt their own confusion, when you feel it coming from someone else it's pretty unpleasant. Whenever you can replace confusion with curiosity or clear up the confusion altogether it's a very good thing.