Things that keep you up at night

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>>39595763
>Either you getting rejected, or someone rejecting you welcome.

what

i angrily told a friend to kill themselves after they made me have a breakdown and i think they might have done it

>>39595769
Whoops, meant you getting rejected, or you rejecting someone (through sheer ignorance)..

High school. I fucking miss it. I haven't had friends that I talked to often since high school. I graduated in 2014.

I haven't reached the level of some of the other robots here but I can feel myself slipping at 20. Lonely as hell and I haven't talked to a girl since 2013. On a happy note I dropped a lot of weight and look a lot better than I used to when I was younger.

>tfw "if you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball'd someone
>he couldn't dodge it
oops

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>17yr old khv
>highschool
>last wk of the year
>girl in my english class comes up with her yearbook
>"hey anon, i noticed you didnt sign my book? you didn't want to or something?"
>"oh uh.. nah not really"
>wtf-am-i-doing.jpg
>"umm, oh... ok"
>she leaves me alone
>find out from acquaintance she was mad into me
>fucked.png

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>>39595906
What were you thinking holy shit

>mfw diagnosed autistic
>still more socially aware than some robots ITT

>went to same college, same degree program as ex-oneitis from high school
>ask her out at beginning of first year
>says no (predictably) and wants nothing to do with me
>fine, never speak to her again, directly or indirectly from that point on
>never even mention her to anyone I talk to
>she tells everyone in our major about my "crime"
>at several points got stalked all across campus by her and her friends, even to GE classes she was not registered for nor was she required to take
>I had to be careful of where I sat in class for the whole 4 years
>there were days where it felt like looking even 1 degree to the wrong side of the room would get me dragged in front of the student conduct kangaroo court
>got to the point where even the professors probably knew
>literally made zero meaningful contacts within degree program due to her
>she continued spreading rumors about me up until the very last hour before graduation
I kept quiet since I thought it would pass. "People are more mature in college" turned out to be a meme. My own mom gleefully told me years before all this happened that she was waiting for the day some girl would reject me so I would know what it feels like to be completely destroyed. Besides, why would I want to give my family another weapon to use against me? I wanted to scream but my throat wouldn't let me since it knew screaming would only attract the monsters' attention.
And now almost 5 years later from the day she rejected me, I likely have an undiagnosed anxiety disorder among other things.
For some reason I've been thinking back to it a lot recently, pissed the fuck off at what my family did not and would not do, as well as myself for not standing up for myself. The only thing I did wrong was losing. I should have fought back, and hard.

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>>39595763
I got the opposite of that
>15, freshman year
>bio class
>qt sits next to me (assigned seats)
>I talk to her every day and thinking back visibly annoy the shit out of her all the time
>didn't get the idea
>eventually tells me in no unclear terms to stop talking to her or she'll talk to the teacher about it
>mfw

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>be 15
>decent looking but not chad-like at all
>girl in my study group confesses her love for me
>wtf
>awkwardly dismiss it with a "oh cool"
>she is visibly upset, leaves
>realize later that year I liked her a lot
>she got a boyfriend and never spoke to me again except while studying
>graduate and still never had a gf

Does it get any more autistic?

>be me
>in HS
>was hanging out with friends and oneitis
>talking bullshit as usual
>oneitis grabbed my nose and said jokingly "got your nose!"
>Chucked for a bit
>was wearing a pair of sperry
>sat up from the bench took my shoe off
>oneitis was confused
>I grabbed oneitis's nose with my foot and said "g-got your nose. Hehe."
>she gave me a look of scorn
>After that she never wanted to see/hear from me again and called me a "weirdo".

Kill me, please.

>>39596258
Hey dude.

I know you've been in this thread for 20 minutes posting your feels, but ure starting to creep everyone out. Leave.

>15
>bio class
>sciencefag
>one chick continually comes to me and bros table, lingers, leaves shit, etc
>7/10
>starts convos
>the whole fucking bit
>do not realize
>one day she leaves like all her stuff there
>"fuck is your problem stacy? 5th goddamn time this week I've had to clean your shit up! fuck!"
>in front of whole class
>teacher don't care cause lolghetto
>never spoke to me again
>only realized after graduation
fuck.

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>>39596303
Wtf. I didn't even understand that and I cringed.

Every few nights I get caught up in dreaming about how I foolishly broke my dream-girl's heart.

I always do something to fuck myself over. It never fails.

>>39596303
Peak autism holy shit, why would you grab her nose with your sweaty foot you goddamn sperg??

>>39596228
Shit man, that sucks. Hope things will work out for you soon.

>>39596394
I thought it would be funny, but now it haunts my fucking dreams.

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>>39596498
Christ man, you're gonna haunt my dreams too

>>39596320
thats my only post in this thread famalam

>>39596462
Not likely. I'm wasting away in an involuntary gap year while she got into some grad school program in another state. I'm 99% sure she wrote about me as some sort of major life challenge since she really did not have any major life difficulties to speak of.

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>last year of highschool
>asked by female friend if i would be her date to prom
>told her id consider it
>forget about the invitation, stay home for prom
>she is super upset she had no date, calls me an asshole in front of our graduating class
>ok.jpg

>A long time ago, I dated this girl that I thought was perfect
>She was my 10/10
>Her body was perfect. Her face, her eyes, her hair. Her personality. Her voice. She was just the right height and build. She did and said all the right things
>She was the single most detrimental thing that ever happened to me
>There were no signs or warnings. One day she just told me that she wanted to be free. She moved two states away and started dating a guy that looked just like me
>They are married and have two kids, now.

>I moved on, yet I didn't
>Once a year I checked her Facebook page. Saw those kids are growing up
>See that she divorced him
>See that she moved back to our hometown

Thank God I don't live there no more. She's gotten fat and ugly, from the looks of it. Even if I stooped low enough to try and talk to her again, she's all used up and gross, now.

>>39596392
Yup same thing here. There is no moving on.

>Back when Normiebook was first getting popular
>There was this app that let you see who looked at your wall and posts the most often
>There was this girl that I thought was cute. She was always nice to me
>I would click on her page and try to think of things to say that wouldn't be awkward, but never said anything
>She used that app, I came up as her number one viewer
>Her only response was "Eww..."
>A lot of people from our school replied with stuff like "Lol!" And "Caught you buddy!" And girls would post jokes about how she should get a restraining order.
>I sent her a message to say that I was sorry and that I just really liked her and that I never had the courage to say anything
>She blocked me
>At school, I got these awkward "fake pity" talks from girls. They would kind of say "aww" and then laugh amongst themselves
>They would give really condescending advice and sarcastically say "I'm sure you'll find someone."

>>39596723
Kek, I've had one long term gf in my life. She went crazy with BPD as girls do at that age and destroyed what little self-esteem I was able to muster. I ran into her a couple years after we broke up and she was dating my doppleganger. Weirdest fucking thing ever.

>>39596805
worst nightmare incarnate, jfc

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>currently at uni
>good looking, smart, have a lot of friends, not virgin

since uni started i've been developing anxiety and depression... i miss how i used to be. i feel like i should be having the time of my life but all i want to do now is sit inside playing vidya. i used to be the life of the party but i can hardly hold a conversation now. i need help but i'm too scared to get it. i can barely even attend my lectures because i can't sleep earlier than 6-7am and i'm too tired in the mornings. luckily i have natural intelligence and amphetamines so i passed my first year easily but it's only going to get harder and i have no motivation.

>>39596992
also broke up with long term girlfriend a few months ago which hit my confidence. i find it hard to talk to girls and i lack the confidence to hit them up anymore in the first place. i've been using tinder and getting messages from girls but i don''t even reply to most of them because i don't know what to say.

i have friends at uni but i don't fit in with them. i much prefer my friends at home who i don't see as much anymore. all i do with my uni friends is drugs, we don't really do anything else. i wish i could make more friends at uni but i haven't got the confidence to talk to more people in class other than the ones i already know or make better friends with acquaintances.

>>39596320
you sound like a roastie. And you know what we think about roasties around here.

>>39597045
Making friends is nearly impossible in adulthood

>Go out more
>Talk to people
>Invite people to events
>Get involved in the community
>Take some classes
>Get a new hobby
>Put yourself out there

I do all of these things constantly. I legitimately try, yet still don't have anyone that I would consider a friend. Whenever I took this complaint to /adv/ they asked if I looked funny or something. I literally look like the most average guy I can think of. If you imagine a stereotypical white guy, that's what I look like.

>>39597139
honestly i feel like the only real friends i have are the ones from high school, even if we see each other less often there's still a genuine connection and i'm in contact with them at least once a week or more often.

my uni 'friends' there's no real connection...even my 'best' uni friend i barely talk to when we're not at uni. it all just feels fake.

I got a private school shut down because I let a lie go to far I sometimes stay up at night wondering if the teachers ever found better jobs.

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> at high school
> nobody talk to me
> at uni
> nobody talk to me
> at work
> nobody talk to me
> nobody ever cared about my existence

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>middle school
>there is this funny girl who always makes me laugh
>I thought women can't be funny
>does nothing but goof off all class long
>she doesn't seem completely repulsed by me even though I'm acne ridden and dress weird
>talks to me a little bit and gives eye contact
>I've never felt like this about someone before
>start telling myself she's into me
>end of the day
>have a friend go ask her out for me (I should've done it myself!)
>heart is in my throat and stomach is in my feet
>she just says no
>people are looking at me funny the next day

kekkeroni

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>>39597261
>nobody ever cared about my existence
I know that feel man. I really do.

>>39597401
I think most people here can relate.
origieneniofi

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>love dad
>he dies
>adjust to life without him and dont expect to see him anymore
>then you have a dream where he is with you like nothing changed
>you realize its a dream and wake up in a sweat
>you remember somebody you love used to be a part of your life and is gone and its like somebody chopped off your arm or leg and there's just a gaping hole in your heart
>say fuck in frustration, roll over and try to sleep but you cant some nights

tfw

>>39597880
>you remember somebody you love used to be a part of your life and is gone and its like somebody chopped off your arm or leg and there's just a gaping hole in your heart

damn anon, iktf - mother died when i was 13

>>39595906
>>39595948
Kek I probably would've done this back in hs too

>>39597880
Had a dream like this not too long ago about my older brother who shot himself last year.

He acted like nothing was wrong, but I didn't want to ruin his smile with bringing up about how his ashes are in my closet.

>>39598462
>He acted like nothing was wrong, but I didn't want to ruin his smile with bringing up about how his ashes are in my closet.
only child but that still hurt really fucking bad dude, like goddamn.
sometimes I see my late uncle in my dreams. he died when I was like 9 and lived a few states away so I never really say him but I know we would've got along great
>found some of his tools in the attic a few weeks ago, cleaned them up and they all run like tops
I don't really talk to him in the dreams but I see him in the background sometimes, its kinda strange but comforting in a way

>Things that keep you up at night

mfw can't sleep because too happy and excited recalling all the great success I've had in this life

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>softmore year of highschool
>worst point of depression
>Occasionally see the girl that I had some classes with for a few years
>Talk to her on the one passing time that we cross paths
>Later on start a conversation with her on email
>Ask her out through email
>We'd talked a little before about her vacation but she stops after I ask her out

>senior year
>Doing a student tutoring thing
>Have a table in the library
>Before I start doing it I check the library's website, and she's listed as the other tutor
>Things go alright
>One day she up and hands me her number while we're working with this girl and leaves a little later (I'm sure that it wasn't about helping who we were working with)
>Call her while working with this kid about how "the number that you gave me wasn't applicable to the girls homework" or some kind of dumb joke
>Get a small laugh out of her (probably faked)

I still haven't used that number since, I still have no idea what to do
God I'm dumb

Parental abuse flashbacks.

>have to do something tomorrow

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>senior year
>friend asks me to prom, friend is a year below me
>figure theyre asking me out because we're friends and everyone else in our nerd herd is going as friends
>i was horribly wrong
>get terrible anxiety at prom because i didnt have the balls to say no sooner when i realized the mistake i made after trying to avoid them at prom
>we get in a loud confrontation
>never speak to each other again

i ruined our friendship because im retarded help

>meet girl on internet
>play online vidya with her
>she's funny, plays good
>says that I'm interesting and funny
>says she want to meet with me
>she's chubby and higher than me (she's like 6, I'm 5,8)
>we meet
>it's awkward but I try my best to entertain her
>give her my umbrella when rain starts
>at the end we hug
>hold her tight
>she puts her head on my shoulder
>feels really good
>"anon, we should do this more often!"
>tfw we didn't meet anymore because she was giving me shitty excuses every time I wanted to meet
>we 'broke up'
>she didn't give a fuck about it, just said 'ok'
>find out that she didn't like my looks
>checking her page now, she's dating some typical Chadbro
Everytime I feel lonely in bad I remember how she put head on my shoulder and feel even shittier. After that I just gave up. If fat girl reject me and get Chad, what's the point?

>>39595763

I have chronic insomnia, but funnily enough, it's huge never stuff like that that keeps me up. I always obsess about the little things like whether I have enough food in the fridge. It's weird.

>>39595847

You're like a 20 year old version of me. I too miss high school and have lost much weight since then.

My advice is if you're still in college, go big on social activities. Never turn down an invitation, ever. If you think it's bad in college, hoooooooo boy, just wait until you get into the working world.

>>39595763
>met this female human more than a year ago
>never saw her physical form again
>text her often to ask her how she's doing and talk a bit
>we know each other better. she is kind with me and thinks i'm funny. she also trust me to talk openly about her problems and sadnesses
>want to see her in person to tell her my true feelings
>when it comes to hang out she pass over and pull some silly excuse not so see me in person
>por que?

Am I going straight to the Friend Zone Act 1 or something...?

Remembering the regrettable moments, replaying the moments I fucked up recently, think about how my emotional and physical wellbeing is getting destroyed in the next few years.

>>39600572

Why would she tell you that you guys should do it again if she had no intention to do it?

Also your mistake bud you go for the kiss in the first ten minutes

>>39602397
I dunno. She just wanted to keep me as a backup boyfriend I think

>>39600431
HATE THIS SHIT

>Better get to bed, need to get up early to prepare
>Spend more time laying in bed, staring at the ceiling while I think about the thing I have to do tomorrow.

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>>39596303
>I grabbed oneitis's nose with my foot and said "g-got your nose. Hehe."
lmao you actual fucking retard