HOW THE FUCK is obsession part of an unhealthy relationship!??

>>39585772
and yes the source

http://www.wikihow.com/Get-over-an-Obsession

"Obsession with a person is a sign of an unhealthy relationship"

People who aren't starved for attention understand things called boundaries and breathing space

>>39585806
not constant obsession ... more like need for the person .. to talk to them every day..

>>39585900
Do you talk to your parents everyday?

>>39585924
they contact me almost every day but i am just like yeah .. ok.. ok.. ok "everything is okay" but it is clearly not
NOTHING IS OKAY

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>>39585772
>HOW THE FUCK is obsession part of an unhealthy relationship!??
>i will never get normies


Normies don't want relationships, anon, they want casual experiences shared with other people. What a NORMAL sexual/romantic relationship with another person entails- total devotion and pathological desire- is considered detrimental to that "casual experience." It scares them and pushes them away.

A bit like a westernized yoga class would be disrupted by a dude insisting on literal adaptations of Buddhist spiritual practices which entail years of devotion and slow results.

Normies don't want this. They don't want "spiritual discipline," they want to stretch and look hip on their Instagram.

Similarly, normies don't want someone who'd die for them, they want someone to fuck, have fun with and look good with on Instagram.

We're not the ones doing it wrong, they are consistently doing it wrong. Everything. From yoga to love. It's our zetgeist. Beer without alcohol, coffee without caffeine and so on and so on sniff

>>39586097
i just want to devote my life to someone...
make them happy and please them

and that is bad..., there is no loyalty anymore

>>39586210
>here is no loyalty anymore

there is, but we're in an age group where it's hardly the most prominent feature of relationships.

Obessesion is part of an unhealthy relationship because even normalfags understand that it is a sign of a serious personality flaw.

>>39586245
oh! a normie
please explain that to me, because i just dont get that way of thinking

>>39585772
I really liked Toradora, just finished rewatching it this week, easily my favorite fuck it's too pure for this world my favorite part is when they "elope" and the swimming pool part, Taiga>Ami>>>Minorin btw but it should be pretty obvious
And I totally get what you mean OP, how could a one night stand turned into a casual relationship ever be the love of my life? Why would I want that kind of thing? I want someone to think about me, and me to think about them. I want to be happy just holding hands together, if I don't get that much then what's the difference between loving someone and being friends? Of course there's a degree of obsession to the point of it harming people, but that has to do with other flaws, not that they love someone. Love is SUPPOSED to be obsessive, the whole idea is that you're thinking about them all the time and are devoted to eachother

>>39586245
if normies hate obsession so much, why do they emulate a "decaf" version of it in their relationships ?

Why is sending 10 "ironic" "I love you more" messages considered cute while simply revealing that you crave the other person at all times is considered creepy?

That's the part that bugs me. It's like they want a decaf, vegan, gluten free obsession. And I think that's dumb.

>>39586345
i talked with this one girl every day for a year ...
i invested so much of myself into her only for it all to be completely obliterated
when i asked her why did it all became so bad she responded with:
"you got annoying"

she will never come back to me and i still have remnants of her in my heart ...
it is pure agony

>>39586538
Exact same thing happened to me mane, except it was for 2 years, then she just stopped sending me messages or replying. Fuck she was the only friend I had left and then a few months ago bam back to zero.

Didn't even answer me when I said happy birthday.

>>39586097
>We're not the ones doing it wrong
No, you're the ones not doing it at all.

>>39586323
>>39586358
you are guys are worse than normies. you're too normie for the normies so you end up here.
>ah bloo bloo baby need snug snug from mam mam

>>39586991


you're being very incoherent and baselessly bitchy, anon

>>39586826
sorry to hear that man : (
i wish you find someone who would be perfect to you

>>39587052
I was mocking you. I don't give a frick myself, I just find you tru luv babble annoying.

>>39586991
go fuck yourself, you piece of degenerate scum
all i wanted was little affection and LOYALTY
but no that is DEAD in this age and time
no more real values
just casual degeneracy sex from tinder

>>39587080
>I just find you tru luv babble annoying.

that's probably got stuff to do with your own life and not my views. I have the right to keep them, for better or worse.

>>39587094
You are pathetic. You probably never got any attention from your parents, so now you're desperately longing for validation from some "romantic partner".

>>39587125
No likes a whiner. I think I have a right to voice my displeasure.

>>39587156
>No likes a whiner
Tru, but you know who actually likes a hopeless romantic if you tone down your obsession a bit?

Women. So if I ever turn hypocrite I'm confident I might get some.

>>39587131
that is maybe true, but what the fuck should i do now??

i am "pathetic" for society because i want to love someone more than it is "conventional" lmfao

>>39587219
Try to change your flawed nature? or keep whining, whatever.

>>39587244
it is not flawed.
there is nothing wrong with me

>>39587282
You are flawed. If you weren't, you wouldn't seek validation from others.

>>39587366
i would just *like* them to show equal amount of care that i give ...

>>39587694
What makes you so special that they should obsess about you?

>>39587735
the fact that i obsess over them, that i would do ANYTHING for them
but yeah.. to most people that is just not enough lol

but i ask you what you think should be the reason one would obsess over someone else?
that you mean would be honorable or worthy obsession

>>39587840
>the fact that i obsess over them, that i would do ANYTHING for them
That's because of your personality flaw. Lets assume they don't share this flaw. Why would they want to obsess about someone?

>>39587873
what you want to hear is wealth, high social status, success, higher education and etc.
but if someone obsess over you for that then in all honesty that is shallow

>>39588078
I think there is no good reason for obesssing over someone.

>>39588264
it can give you purpose, strength, courage
knowing that somebody truly loves you makes everything easier

>>39585772
>>39586097
>>39586538
>>39586826
>>39587840

What we are witnessing here is the mentality behind the #1 reason why most robots' first (and possibly subsequent) relationships go down in flames. There is a fine line between being devoted and being obsessed. Most women appreciate devotion; obsession is just creepy and annoying. They don't mind being the most important thing in your life, but they don't want to feel like they're the ONLY thing in your life. Being obsessive makes you seem like a needy, insecure, spineless, jealous, clingy house of cards; and none of those things are attractive. You might not even BE any of those things, but that's how you're likely to come across.

I'm not saying ignore them or treat them like shit, either; there's such a thing as a middle ground.

>>39588367
You are relying on something external. It is not that different from a drug addict relying on the knowledge that his fix isn't far away.

Mutual obsession is absolutely necessary for any real love. If she isn't someone I would destroy the multiverse for, and her do the same for me, I'm not even interested in a 1 minute blowjob.

>>39588671
>You are relying on something external.
On the contrary, you are relying on something internal, your love, just as much as something external, the person. And there's nothing wrong with relying on something external.
>b-but muh drugs and escapism are unhealthy external dependencies
Nothing wrong with those either. Don't you get it? There's a reason we don't get along with normies, not just because we're jealous but because our minds and desires on a completely different wavelength. I hate people who refuse to understand robots, yet tell them that it's just as easy as doing a few simple normie things. If we were normies and wanted to be like normies, you would be right. But we are robots, and what we want are things completely strange and opposed to normalfags.

>>39588675
op here
you are even more extreme than me lol

>>39588671
yes she would be my drug, and what is so bad about it?
i think that is cute, i want to be drug for someone

>>39588782
I toned it down for the sake of posting. In reality there simply isn't something I wouldn't sacrifice for someone I truly loved. A thing I would not sacrifice does not exist, not even myself or them. Yes it's contradictory, yes it's unhealthy. It's not about being healthy, so that's not relevant.

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>>39588805
i understand you friend

>>39588727
>On the contrary, you are relying on something internal
No, you're not. You are completely dependent on someone else validation.
>And there's nothing wrong with relying on something external.
Yes, there is. When you rely on something external there is uncertainty and doubt. You are at the whim of circumstance.
>>39588802
It's a sign of your character flaw. You don't feel complete on your own.

>>39589788
and why is not being complete on my own a bad thing?

>>39589850
because it makes you suffer.

>>39590030
rejection and disloyalty makes me suffer

>>39590193
Only because you are not complete on your own.

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>>39589788
>When you rely on something external there is uncertainty and doubt. You are at the whim of circumstance.
That's not "wrong", that's the state of absolutely every non-omnipotent thing in the fucking universe. And even if it wasn't, how is it "wrong"? Seems you're just baselessly applying "wrong" without any reason behind it. That's pleb level of thinking.

>>39590243
who the fuck feels ok after breakup or rejection?

being in state of searching for the right person is not suffering

but when some thot dumps me because i was "too annoying" when the only thing i wanted was too make her feel good, yes that makes me suffer

>>39590249
It is not the state of me. It is the state of you, because of your lack of knowledge.
>>39590332
There is no right person. You are just looking for a person who mimics a part of yourself you aren't conscious of. Even if you finds such a person, they will change and you will become incompatible.

>>39590382
>It is not the state of me. It is the state of you, because of your lack of knowledge.
Enlighten me then. How did you achieve 100% freedom from being affected by anything else in the universe, physically or mentally? I'm sure you can easily stop bullets from ruining your mental perfection accidentally at a minimum.

>>39590415
Easy. I derive my happiness from that which is not circumstantial.

>>39590382
i know exactly what i am looking for, and i know the chances of meeting that person are so low... so what i should just give up?
i would rather take that little chance, because of the hope it gives me

>>39590443
So you have power over this? Isn't it, then, fine if we by non-circumstantial means acquire someone with whom we share a mutual interest to the level of obsession? For unless you are a perfect narcissist with no room for other interests, you surely find happiness in external things and thus are dependent on them. If the person I am obsessed with freely came into my life and I have absolute control over what happens to them, am I not free from circumstantial happiness? Have I not achieved total control over my own happiness? But the answer is; I have.

>>39590483
Even if you find what you look for, it won't last. It is better to realize that you are looking the wrong place.

>>39590505
>if we by non-circumstantial means acquire someone with whom we share a mutual interest to the level of obsession?
That's not possible.
>For unless you are a perfect narcissist with no room for other interests, you surely find happiness in external things and thus are
dependent on them.
It is not narcissism, it is an awareness of your true nature.

>>39586097
now that's what i call a hot take

>>39590509
>>39590544
You speak in nonsense, every word you say is vague pretentious gibberish with no basis in reality. No evidence supports you reasoning, no logical concepts support your insistent ideal which you believe you must convince us of and convert us to. You are a poor troll and nothing more.

>>39590580
It seems like nonsense to you, because you do not have philosophical insight.

>>39585772
No, listen.
If you're clingy, a relationship won't work
the girl will think you're weak
stop giving a shit about girls, then they'll love you

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>>39586097
>so on and so on sniff
I checked the replies to this post and no one commented on the best part of this post. For shame, /r9k/.

>>39586097
Normies/Roastie nature in a nutshell.
Everything normies do, at the end of the day, is to look socially acceptable.
Riding cock and doing what everyone else is doing without any self-consciousness of what you are doing is all the rage.

>>39590509
hmm.. well that is true.. who says that i would be perfect person for the person i think is perfect...

but still... i dont want to lose that hope of finding someone perfect and worshiping them

>>39590671
but that is so illogical ... it makes no sense
how is showing that i care about them weak?

>>39590749
Cause it doesn't look cool that's why
Everything has to look cool/sexy in order for it to garner enough likes on social media.

>>39590717
Your hope prolongs your suffering.

>>39590827
so what should i do? help me out here

>>39590814
I wouldn't put it that way but yeah
>>39590749
You can't show weakness

>>39590749
Women look for a man who is in control. If you display neediness, you are displaying a weakness. So what he says does make sense, but if you didn't care simply to attract girls, you would lose what made you attractive to them when you started caring. So it is not really feasible.

>>39590859
Give up on all your romantic fantasies and longings. Accept that love is a fool's game. You will suffer at first, but slowly you will overcome it.

>>39590717


LOL HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO VIEW YOURSELF THE WAY OTHERS VIEW YOU?...

DO YOU EVER TRY TO USE ANY EXTERNAL PERSPECTIVE ?...

HINT: using creepy stalkerish terms like 'worship' are EXACTLY why you make women's skin crawl...

That's the type of thing a creepy version would say and is exactly why you can't get a girl....

It shows a complete lack of experience, stability, self confidence or realistic eligibility... If a girl heard you say that, she would cut and run away as fast as possible...

Why don't you try acting normal occasionally?... Stop being such a loser

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LMAO the normies are full force on this one.
Aww what's the matter? Do you need a safe spot or whatever you need when offended?

>>39590749
FACT: desperation is a huge turnoff...

Girls like cats... Because cats don't need you... They will take you or Leave You, and they choose you on their own terms

Stop acting like such a desperate little dog and start acting more like a cat

There's nothing attractive or magnetic about a needy codependent greedy desperate little man

A certain air of self-confidence and a little bit of aloofness is what makes somebody magnetic...

You would make a much better 12 year old girl than you do an adult male

>>39590934
STFU, homo

Your advice on romance and women reminds me of toilet seat bacteria giving advice on repairing the International Space Station

"I want to worship a girl"

Hahahahahaha

That's SO creepy and unsexy

Women want MEN, not a tumor

>>39590749
>how is showing that i care about them weak?

The part you're not getting is that there's a difference between showing that you care and being a spineless clingy manbaby in constant need of validation.

>>39591016
I'm not going to try talking sense into you. You are too old and set in your ways.

>>39590956
It's actually creampuff faggotslike YOU who seem to get some offended whenever they see real life hands on proven advice on how to get a girl

The same way the ubiquitous learning disabled student in the back of the classroom and gets upset when the other students actually learn and make progress, because he realizes when they graduate on to the next grade, it's only going to highlight his inability to learn and make progress., it's only going to highlight his inability to learn and make progress..

>>39591083
HEY JUNIOR....

IM MARRIED

IVE FUCKED OVER 575 WOMEN AND TEENAGE CHICKS

TRUST ME....

IM THE ONE WHO GIVES THE ADVICE

NOT YOU

LEARN OR STFU

>>39591067
Even though you're a namefag I agree with you.

>>39591088
I'm old, alright....

I'm also laying next to my wife, who helps me fuck other chicks

So....

Who's the one with something to learn?

>>39591167
tom leykis is that you

>>39591163
Of course you do...
Thank you, sir

(And if you continue following this stupid self defeatist anonymity trend, you're never going to realize that without self-promotion, you'll NEVER get what you want out of life)

The women I've emptied my testicles into were NOT attracted to some faceless anonymous easily forgotten nobody...

They were attracted to ME, after I promoted myself and gave them a reason to be....

... In an ocean of men who are trying to learn how to get a woman of their choice, the concept of tricking them into the anonymity trend is the most unfair cruel and self defeatist tactic I can think of... ANONYMITY EQUALS AN EASILY FORGOTTEN FAILURE

>>39591141

You and I normally agree on things; what part of my statement do you disagree with?

A N O N Y M I T Y :

Giving up before you ever started

Nobody ever accomplished anything worthwhile without MARKETING THEMSELVES

First, you have to know your customer and size them up

then, you have to modify your approach to close the deal

Do you think you could sell new cars while laying in your bed feeling sorry for yourself?

No... You have to actually get off your ass and go to the car lot and Market to the customer

>>39591167
It's so embarrassing to see an old man act so juvenile. You are very low-class, Johnny Neptune.

>>39591282
IRONIC :

Because you choose to blend into the background with the ridiculous self defeatist anonymity trend, I can't tell the difference between you and any of the other faceless people in here

So how am I supposed to answer your question?

>>39591323
LOL

low class hahahahaha

I'll be sure to let you know the second that your whiny bitter opinions meanjack shit to me

(or ANYBODYS opinion for that matter)

The difference between you and I is I actually have self confidence, meaning I couldn't care less what your opinion is of me is... Positive or negative... It means absolutely nothing to me

>>39591355
don't even care if you're fake, advice is advice.
so, Mr. Neptune. Any advice on respect/confidence? I'm either a pushover faggot or a fucking dictator and I have a problem finding the middleground, which obviously either extreme causes immense problems sexually and otherwise.
be my old-ass tyler durden

>>39591355
Eh, fair enough I suppose.

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NOTICE:

While you guys bounce theories back and forth, my wife and I are about to watch a movie so everybody have fun...

See ya

(don't be so needy)

>>39591413
I think the difference is that you do not have any self-respect.

i fucking hate women
I CAN NOT GET WOMEN BECAUSE THEY WANT CONFIDENCE and you cant be confident if you are not happy, which i am NOT and i am not happy because i cant get a girl
fuck everything and everyone

>>39591472
go eat a shit you and your "advice" i hope you and your cunt fucking die together with every fucking human alive

>>39591555
>having your life revolve around women
there's your problem. you need to set goals for yourself which you can derive happiness from. an actual, tangible, requires effort goal.
not a levelup or gay shit like that. set a goal, work towards it. achieving and progressing to it will give you confidence you can use for obtaining pussy.

>>39591444
Johnny has asked me to answer your question for you...

The solution isn't finding a middle ground... That's a Band-Aid approach. The problem unfortunately for you, is much greater. Being a pushover or dictator usually stems from insecurity.

You need to stop worrying so much what other people think of you or putting yourself into any of society's stupid categories. Just be yourself, whatever that means for you.

>>39591472
Probably bait but imagine being so pathetic that you have to disturb a discussion about love, by showcasing your own wife and leaving a smug message. The funny thing is that this would be acceptable in most normalfag discussion and even be praised "haha you showed him bruh don't think just be urself brah haha" (Exageration).

I'm not sure what such a person thinks when he clicks that "Post" button but I wouldn't want to switch places with him.

>>39591586
all that goals require TIME i dont want to be a loveless virgin until i am 40

>>39591595
for once some advice here I can work with. thank you, enjoy your movie.

>>39591625
well then save up and get a fucking hooker if you're too much of a beta to put the fucking effort in then. jesus christ.

>>39591472
This sums up your character nicely.
I thought you guys were better than us and spend more time doing important things rather than being here.
Hope you have a good explanation to your wife on why you were wasting your time arguing with basement dwellers rather than fucking her or doing something better with your time. She'll probably see it as weakness and start fucking some other dude who actually spends more time doing productive shit than being with a Chan tard.

I think Wendy was trying to say that you're obviously intelligent, and a good hearted man, so don't worry about labels and other people's perceptions, and realize it takes two people to dance, so spend more time accepting the other person's 50%, and stop worrying so much about your 50%

>>39591651
You're welcome

You'll do fine... Just relax and enjoy the ride....

Time to watch Django

>>39591651
>put the fucking effort
how the FUCK do you put EFFORT IF YOU KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE SHOT DOWN YOU FUCKING MONGREL OH MY FUCKING BLOODY JESUS YOU FUCKING PEOPLE HERE
PUT THE FUCKING EFFORT DUDE
IT DOESNT MATTER THAT YOU HAVE CRIPPLING DEPRESSION BE YOURSELF DUUUDE
xDDD
GO FUCKING DIE
PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK

>>39591615

The learning disabled student in the back of the classroom once again tries to paint the teacher out to be a smug 'show off', flaunting his knowledge in front of the students....

I'm trying to TEACH you, not 'brag'

Speaking of which, it's spelled 'exaggeration'

>>39591762
They are a bunch of retarded meth addicts. What do you expect. You shouldn't pay them attention.

>>39586097
do you think zizek posts on 4chan

>>39591762
"Waaaaaaaahhhh !!! I'm so afraid of failure, did I'm going to intentionally fail!.... WAAAAHHH I have depression... Just like 99.9% of the planet, but mine deserves pity !!... WAAAAHHH !!"

OKAY....

DJANGO TIME

If you've never seen Django Unchained, you're doing yourself a great Injustice

Be well

>>39591762
well evidently you should just kill yourself considering the fact you're not willing to operate within the rules you've been given by the universe.
overcome or die, fucker. those are the options. tic toc, decide fast.

>>39591780
>99% baiting
>1% don't be needy brah

How does it feel to actually believe so many stupid things unironically?

>>39591785
no
what hurts the most is the thing that THEY ARE ACTUALLY RIGHT
they are right but i just cant get into that normie mentality which will be my endgame
i dont understand this pathetic fucking ugly world which i would never ever be part of
and the best thing is i still have that FUCKING HOPE, the only thing that makes me alive, wish it would just end

>meth addict Johnny Neptune is back
It's been a while. How's your chode-chugging son doing?

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YO

It's me, Danny Karate.

You pathetic losers are shooting yourself in the foot with your defeatist attitudes.

Do you even know how pathetic you are to women? Women laugh at you chumps, and for good reason.

You're pathetic. Sad little weenies. Go home and cry to mamma, weenies. You are pathetic.

Women like confident, magnetic individuals who exert an aura of manliness.

Listen to me, I have fucked more than 500 young girls with my wife Trina Karate.

This is me and wife Trina Karate. We are going to watch Kill Bill. Great film. A masterpiece.

>>39591874
hAHAHAHahAAha

"wish it would just end"
LOSER. WOMEN DON'T LIKE LOSERS. STOP BEING A LOSER.

geez, how numb skulled can you be?

>>39591934
you both look ugly as all hell

>>39591998
LOSER. Do you think I care what some LOSER VIRGIN thinks?

I'm out fucking hot young girls with my wife, Trina Karate, every night, while you cry yourself to sleep.

GET REAL DWEEB. You need to respect what I do here, spending my time teaching you how to attract girls.

>>39591989
okay
i will stop being a loser
since i will never be part of this world no matter what i do, how about i start doing what i really want to do
i want to kill people
i want to kill every single man and woman, child and elder i see

>>39590949
is this bait?
how can be act normal if he sucks and is a weirdo?
how can he stop being such a loser if he is a loser?

watch this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPBET18ZGmk

>>39590992
tweakers fuck off

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MkRuV0aCcI

>>39592057
No one is scared of you little turd. You can't hurt anyone with your thin spagetti arms.

You actually killing someone?
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAhAHAHAHHA
Don't make me laugh, chump.

You will fail, like you always fail at everything you do. You are a no good failure. Women hate failures like you.

Do you have any idea of unattractive you are to women?? Meanwhile I'm fucking hot young women every night, with my wife Trina Karate.

>>39591141
wow caps lock mr sensitive

why should we take advice from a tweaker like you? go smoke another meth bowl

or get off the ice and namefag shit and come talk to us sober

but you won't yer too scared to stop using

>>39591323
he's a delusional meth user ignore him anon.

>>39592082
MORON. Stop watching movies. Life is not a movie. You can't learn about the world by starring into a screen, idiot.

You need to put yourself out there. How can win when you don't even try?

FAT CHANCE, loser. You are just pathetic. Have you any idea how many people are pathetic losers who never try? You ain't special, dweeb.

>>39592220
people like you are the reason why this world is so shit

>>39592345
It's just a parody. I thought it was obvious.

>>39586345
>"I really liked Toradora"
>Check it out
>they have it on crunchyroll
>can already feel the massive tsunami of sadness that will come from watching it

I have a bottle of gin for tomorrow night, Toradora will be my anime of choice for the night. Thank you, and fuck you, in advance

>>39586097
Yes. Normies live a hollow shell of a life that only appears of worth to the outsider, that is all they want, and all they need, only to appear to be living a life worthwhile to others.

If your gf won't enter a suicide pact with you she's not really a gf, just think about it like that.

>>39592265
HAHAHAHAH BRAVO

brilliant johhny neptune impression anon 10/10

>>39592455
fucking this guys got the right idea
normies live a sad image only based life
it sucks but its how the world works now :(

>>39585772
hang yourself, yanderefag

>>39585772
>asking a society where polyandry and cuckolding is common what counts as an unhealthy relationship
its clearly obvious nothing is unhealthy or healthy anymore

>>39586097
the hottest take
oregano

>>39585772
It's scary, you fuck.