Alright /r9k/ we are going to play a little game list 2 truths

>I make 85k a year
>I have a cool girlfriend with huge tits
>I've played over 2000 hours of Dota

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>>39567024
>I once spent 400 diamonds on a glass of milk
>I once saved someone's life doing the heimlich maneuver when I was 9
>I am not allowed to own a gun in the USA

>>39567068
being that this is 4chan I am going to go with
>I have a cool girlfriend with huge tits

>>39567085
>>I once spent 400 diamonds on a glass of milk

Go with this one

>>39567068
the gf is the lie.
??oregano

>I worship Satan since I am 13
>I have a cute christian girlfriend
>I live in Algeria

>>39567024
>I once ate a fish
>I understand some Japanese
>I might be allergic to fish

Everything is so vague

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>I've memorized over 200 digits of pi once
>I use all of my free time to play Minecraft
>I have a large extended family full of great people

Try and guess

>>39567301

your family is shit, you wouldn't be here if it wasn't.

>>39567301
>I have a large extended family full of great people

>>39567289
>I worship Satan since I am 13

>>39567299
>>I understand some Japanese

>>39567150
sorry senpai I did do that, the option
>I am not allowed to own a gun in the USA
was false

>>39567325

I do worship Satan since I am 13
Nice try.

>>39567289
>>I worship Satan since I am 13
everyone stops being edgy at one point

>>39567299
>>I might be allergic to fish

>>39567301
>>I have a large extended family full of great people

>>39567024
>I've commited a crime that could earn me 8 years in prison, but the police failed to identify me
>I'm a high school dropout
>I'm a Trump supporter

>>39567301
>I've memorized over 200 digits of pi once
Sup Reckful

>>39567370

>>I'm a high school dropout

you're not

>>39567401
How did you know? Usually everyone goes with the criminal activity, calling me an edgy summerfag who think's he's a gangsta because he smokes weed.

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>>39567319
>>39567325
>>39567360
>I have a large extended family full of great people
Sorry, but you all got it wrong, it's actually:
>I use all of my free time to play Minecraft

I used to play Minecraft all the time, but I stopped about a year or two ago.
In actuality, I do have an extended family full of great people, but they all live far away and I only get to see them once every other year.

>>39567085
>>39567173

Incorrect! The answer is Dota.

>>39567370
>>I'm a Trump supporter
if true then you are on the wrong site kiddo

>>39567431
Because everyone likes to put the most tame option as the lie to be surprising

haha gottem

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>I studied art because I am an idiot
>I have came from anal stimulation only
>I have a girlfriend

>>39567431

I just felt it.
I'm a pathological liar myself.

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>My parents adopted a white child because I wasnt good enough
>Im a Mexican nationalist
>Im American and white

>>39567479
>>I have came from anal stimulation only

nope

>I have over multiple friends which I meet up with, talk to and play vidya with
>I own a 150 horsepower alfa romeo
>I have a stable job earning 65k+ a year

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>>39567569
Try again my dude

>>39567553
You're not white, that's the only option that makes sense.

>>39567553
>two options that suggest youre non-white
>last option says that youre white
Jee I wonder

>I have an odd obsession with musicals
>I'm gay
>I have a friend who tried to molest me at his birthday party

>>39567717
You don't care about musicals.

>>39567024
>I am a virgin
>I have 3500 hours in csgo
>I have 10k hours in dota

>>39567741
It was the second one

I have friends
I have a gf
I'm not a virgin

>I am a serious narcissist
>I am not a virgin
>I am Alpha

> When I was 11, my crazy mother tried to stab me because she thought I was possessed.
> I have two girlfriends; though one is kind of an airhead and the other is a little chubby.
> While fishing in the Florida Keys, a barracuda jumped out of the water and latched onto my arm; I had to get several stitches.

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Just in case anyone else got annoyed by retard OP

>>39567024
>I once jerked off next to my fathers girlfriend in bed
>I once pulled a fire extinguisher in school
>I once passionately kissed a girl on her lips

>I once broke into a pool before shitting in it, smashing the clock against the concrete and chucking the clock in there
>I once had a mafia esque group in elementary school of which I was emperor
>I wrote a book

>>39567955
>>I am Alpha
too easy

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>I have a couple great friends
>I am relatively content with my life
>I am a regular r9k poster

>>39568187
>I once passionately kissed a girl on her lips
is the lie
> I have two girlfriends; though one is kind of an airhead and the other is a little chubby.
is the lie
>I am a serious narcissist
Is the lie

>>39568287
shit i thought it said was not sorry
the
>I am Alpha
is the lie

>>39568273
>I have a couple great friends
lie detected

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>>39568269
How'd you know
origi nananqa

>>39568287
>> I have two girlfriends; though one is kind of an airhead and the other is a little chubby.
>is the lie

The barracuda thing was something I read about in the paper.

>>39568325
Wrong
>>I am a regular r9k poster
Is the lie. I am a /bant/ poster and only come here for bait

>>39568287
You got it right for me, but you forgot to tag the other anons, anon

>>39567024
> a girl i liked tried to kiss me randomly at a birthday party
> i was too retarded to realize (12-13), it failed miserbly, i later found out it was because of a "dare" game and it ruined my self esteem forever
> i am a selfmade millionaire age 19 with a wife and kids

>my family/relatives thinks i'm legit a warlock that can manipulate emotions/the world
>hot/young girls are attracted to me
>i'm good looking

>>39568029
first one

>>39567024
>I want to be the gf
>I'm a neet
>I somehow have friends

>eat > 5k calories a day
>weigh 150 pounds at 5 ft 9
>trump supporter

>>39567024
>3 stacies were grinding up on me at a school dance in middle school at the same time
>had several female friends that likely wanted to be more than friends in high school
>I have had a gf

>I have kissed a girl before
>I have jerked off at work
>I've drove home drunk and or high several times

>>39568992
>I'm a neet

>>39569080
>trump supporter

>>39569171
>had several female friends that likely wanted to be more than friends in high school

>>39569293
>I have jerked off at work

>>39567024
>My parents begrudgingly provide for me
>I have tried to kill myself several times
>I work at McDonald's

>>39567024

>I'm married to a gril that earns 140k
>I earn less than 20k
>I'm not allowed to fuck her anus.

>>39569345

You work at bk.

>>39569313
>I have jerked off at work
Sorry anon but I did

>>39569348
>I earn less than 20k
This one's really fucking interesting.

>>39569399

That is a true statement.

>>39569313
>I'm a neet
yeah. I do have a part time job

>>39567024
>i have a 10/10 model face
>i was arrested and facing jail time
>im a virgin

>>39567024
>I've suffered chemical burns across the lower half of my face
>I've been hit by three cars on foot/ two while in a vehicle
>I was once electrocuted and my vision was permanently impared
Life can be rough.

>>39569417
Then I guess you can fuck her in the ass, because it doesn't make sense for it to be the first one (unless you tricked me making the third one vacuously true),

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>>39569452
haha you sillie you are NOT a virgin :DD

>>39568898
Not a millionaire.

>>39568902
Family not THAT crazy.
(and mine was actually the barracuda).

>>39569488
you got that right! :)
orifnfaganlao

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>>39569486

I can fuck her in the anoos. Well done. Have a pic.

>>39569501
>Family not THAT crazy.
wrong.

>>39569455
Them's all plausible but I'm gonna go with the chemical burns.

>>39569313
I did have several female friends in high school.

>>39569542
Wow. Well at least yours didn't try to kill you over it.

>once i went 3 weeks without a shower
>i eat boogers

>>39569577

There are three kinds of people on /r9k/. Those who can count and those who can't.

>>39569532
Then what the fuck are you doing here? You don't belong and you're not welcomed.

>>39568060
Unsung hero right here

>>39569604

hahahahhahhaha i fuckin seriously missed it XDDDDDDD here let me correct myself lol im laughing irl

>once i went 3 weeks without a shower
>im not a virgin
>i eat boogers

>>39567024

1: I hate you
2: I hate 4chan
3: I think R9K is full of heterosexuals

>>39569646
>i eat boogers

1: I admire Ghandi
2: I admire Einstein
3: I admire you guys

>>39569681

>I hate you

This is false, you don't even know me.

>>39569705

Them some normie-tier people you admire.

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1: I am clairvoyant
2: I've seen a UFO up close
3: I think you get laid a lot

>>39569681

you don't (((truly))) hate 4chan. as the song goes it stands for 4chan as well

> YOU CAN CHECK OUT ANYTIME YOU WANT
> BUT YOU MAY NEVER LEAVE
>amazing solo etc

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>>39569731
I admire your chin on my nuts, bitchboy

>>39569313
you got me

trump supporter is wrong i am a sad burncuck T_T

>>39569731

einstein is a bad motherfucker ghandi is boring but whatever

>I've been fucked by a strap on but I'm still a virgin
>I've met Brad Pitt at a house party
>I once walked 25 miles home drunk

I've been in a threeway
I've done anal on a girl
I've fucked 13 girls the past 3 years

>I used to play doctor as a kid with another boy
>I've fucked 14 different women
>I've stabbed my brother 3 times with a steak knife

>>39569700

actually i do

> please send help

>>39569705
>Anyone on r9k
>Admirable

>>39569743

1 is false, but you are probably retarded enough to believe it, so not a lie. I think 2 is the lie.

>>39569501
>>>39568898 (You)
>Not a millionaire.
You got it right buddy, i hope this is original

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>>39569775

Actually, it's:

You can check out any time you like,
But you can never leave!

But hey... You tried... Right ?..
For YOU, trying is good enough

>i'm a virgin
>i'm not a virgin
>i fucked someone

>>39569856

Be gone ye Normal.

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>>39569803
FUCKIN NORMIE ROASTIE LEAVE OUT OUT OUT OUT REEEEEE

actually, it's

I FUCKED YOUR MOM AND CAME IN HER ASSHOLE dumbfuck

>>39569884
Apparently i'm fucking retarded, I tried to make it obvious that i'm a virgin and fucked up

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>>39569795
Ghandi :

Not quite as famous or exciting as you, but he'll do in a pinch...

(he said the quality of a person can be determined by the way they treat animals... And THAT'S more honest and relevant than any post you've ever tapped out)

Now....

Go pick dinner out of your nose

>>39569906
Straight male, and you should've guessed

>>39569918

woah fuck this was aimed at >>39569843

I'm gay
I'm bi
I'm gonna fuck you in the ass.

>>39569931

dude you don't need to prove me that i suck as a human being i know that already

>>39569924
>this is same people that claim to be too smart to enjoy rick and morty

>I have seen the face of God
>I have been to jail 4 times
>I've had a black girlfriend

>>39569977

now suck on my nice double dubs hehe

>>39569960

At least two of these are a lie, since you can't be both gay and bi and you certainly shan't be fucking my ass.

>>39569980
What one thing have to do with another?

>>39569981

it really is obvious that the god one is a lie

>HE DOESN'T EXIST

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1: I once fucked SEVEN strippers at the same time (all weekend long) when I was a strip club DJ in Atlanta

2: my current wife was a lipstick lesbian for 11 years until I met her, and she helps me fuck other girls

3: I have a huge 'IM GAY FOR R9K' tattoo across my face

>>39569981

God doesn't exist. Fedoratip.mp4

>>39570030

hahahah go fuck yourself

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>>39570012
I'm still mad that everyone on /r9k/ is always claiming to be a retard but they all hate R&M because they feel too smart for it.

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1: hahahaha@face of God

2: lemme guess...God was a white dude, a human, with a long grey beard?

3: anyone who believes in God is schizophrenic by the technical DSM clinical definition, and anybody who claims to have seen his face cannot be trusted in anything that they ever say for the rest of their life....

>>39570055

i love rick & morty these bitches that hate it are just a bunch of stupid neggers

>>39570026
>>39570034
No lie there, I have seen the face of the Father.
The fool says in his heart, "There is no God." They are corrupt, their deeds are vile; there is no one who does good. Psalms 14:1

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>>39570051
1: the thing about the seven strippers is 100% TRUE

2: the thing about my wife Wendy is also completely true

3: I typed the part about the facial tattoo from a spaceship headed for Planet Zwoomblimbzley

AGAIN: dinner time... Blows my nose into the palm of your hand

>>39570139

you're one sick son of a bitch

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>>39570119
HAHAHAHAHA !!!

"I have seen the face of the father, and it's my choice that I can't get laid, and I'm perfectly okay with the fact that no woman will have sex with me"

JESUS HAD A TINY PENIS, AND HE WORE A SKIRT TO HIS OWN CRUCIFIXION

(It really doesn't get any gayer than that)

>>39570139

i only eat mine boogers LEL

>>39570119

>This book I like says people who don't believe in the book are fools

>>39570185
I've had three girlfriends. Nobody knows how big of a penis Jesus had. He was actually crucified naked.

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>>39570171
True: my mother is the biggest bitch I've ever met in my life

However after running the course with some heavy-duty antibiotics, the itchy rash, discharge and swelling went down, so I'm not technically sick anymore

>successful, healthy social life, former model
>constant suicidal urges
>virgin

>>39570234

how old are you and what the fuck do you do for a living?

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>>39570205

Your mother told me she's been concerned about you ever since she caught you staring up the skirt Jesus was wearing on the plastic 'crucified action figure' at church...

So... Tell us...

How big was jesus' little junk?

>>39570205
It certainly does. It means I don't have to.

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>>39570225

LoL @ THREE hahahahaha

STUD !!....

(Have you ever contemplated that perhaps if you weren't a Christian you might actually get laid more than a cicada?)

... My wife had three girlfriends last week

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>>39570272
53
professional illustrator

>>39570376

what were you doing when you were 20

>>39570257
1: your self-loathing and self defeatist DNA dictate that you should be euthanized in order to save the rest of the human race in the future

2: it's no wonder why both of your parents hate you so much, in particular your mother because she wanted a son

3: you're probably a lot of fun to hang around with and the life of the party wherever you go

>haven't learned algebra but haven't given up
>play d1 football
>im pickle rick

>>39570340
You type like a 14 year old. Also
>Moving the goalposts

>>39569549
o nvm sorry

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>>39570417
At 20, I was a DJ at Tattletales Strip Club in Atlanta, fucking EVERY female that walked thru the door whether it was a dancer, a waitress or a bartender...

...and I was simultaneously running my own graphic design company

>>39570470

you're lying, fuck off a 50+ year old on 4chan and r9k kill yourself

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>>39570451

Cool... So the average 14 year old types like an Above Superior IQ 53 year old ?...

so...

what's the reason why YOU type like such a faggot?

Pic: PALS, a ballpoint pen sketch on crumpled typing paper

>>39570470
What are you doing on r9k, Mr. Hotshot? Does hanging out with lonely virgins make you feel better, or are you underage and making bs up on the internet?

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>>39570538
LOL @ LYING

trust me...

I have NEVER had a reason to fabricate my life... I lived it to it's fullest...

(I bet you would be really pissed to find out I was an eighth grade dropout who never made it to the 9th grade, and got hired as ZZ Top's art director at Warner Brothers records, making $3,500 a day)

By the way... I'm sorry about your inferiority complex... But it's well deserved

Hopefully one day you'll get up and walk away from that video game and go out there and take the bull by the horns and Define your life and reinvent yourself

>>39570542
I must have hit the nail right on the head. 14, eh? How's middle school?
No one's buying your shit, little buddy.

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>>39570544
You got it right the first time...

... Hanging out with a bunch of lonely faggots makes me feel better about myself...

(Even though in all actuality I'm only 6 years old and I like to pretend that I'm a 53 year old man online)

But at least I'm not a lonely faggot like you

(Here's another ballpoint pen sketch of a girl laying out in front of Elvis's Mansion Graceland)

EACH HIT END EYE

>>39570589

>Hopefully one day you'll get up and walk away from that video game and go out there and take the bull by the horns and Define your life and reinvent yourself

That's some above superior memespouting.

https://youtu.be/0FANcpJQ58M

Wow

Hahaha

I'm a virgin
I'm rather good looking
I have 7inch cock

>my dick is 7 inch long
>I have a license for my motorbike
>my parent love me

I watch porn
I have played 600+ hrs of csgo, a game I find to be very mediocre
I masturbate 2 times a day

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>>39570652
When I was 15 years old, I took the WISC-R4, the WECHSLER SCALE for adolescents...

ABOVE SUPERIOR

sorry, fuckface

Do you even know what the Wechsler Scale is?

..... By the way... My beautiful illustrious ingenious wife Wendy and I are about to watch a movie so you guys have fun with your little 2 HONEST STATEMENTS & 1 LIE game

Adios

>>39567024
>got into three car crashes
>walked for four hours barefoot on a freeway
>got kicked out of my apartment for selling drugs to teenagers

>>39570771
>I have played 600+ hrs of csgo, a game I find to be very mediocre
lie
>>39570806
>got kicked out of my apartment for selling drugs to teenagers
lie
>>39570698
>I have 7inch cock
lie

>>39570692

so what you're saying is we should take charge of our own life like you, and end up on r9k when we're fifty? i'd rather pass on that

>>39570713
I'm sure your parents hate you.

>>39569576
eh mine did actually