ITT: Times an disorder/disease embarrassed you

>>39546438
>Collapse while waiting for my train
>Fall into the tracks
>Cause significant delays

It's a shame I didn't collapse just as the train arrived at the station, would save me the hassle of actually killing myself.

>>39546438
>be at senior homecoming
>had to leave because the lights were giving my poor eyes a seizure
>ruined the night for my friends because they wanted to have a good time
Why I avoid those events

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>>39546438
>get paranoid in crowds
>the voices start telling me everyone is watching me everyone can read my thoughts everyone is going to hurt you
>dad takes me to a crowded restaurant cause he literally believes itll go away if im around people which is the exact opposite of how it works
>food comes
>its poisoned
>its poisoned
>pick up the tray and throw it across the restaurant
>go outside
>dad never takes me to another restaurant again
jesus christ i was so scared but damn in retrospect its embarassing af this is why i do drugs

>>39546735
>He went to homecoming
Fucking kill yourself you piece of shit.

>>39547552
That sounds really scary. I'm not sure I could handle it if I randomly heard voices telling me my food was poisoned.

>>39547659
yea the voices you get used to but you never stop believing them because theyre inside you right how could they be wrong? medication helps and if i didnt do as many drugs it would also help but im currently in the middle of a relapse unfortunately but idk life without drugs sucks life with drugs sucks its a lose lose

>>39547552
>>39547812
I had auditory hallucinations once and it was pretty freaky. Most of them I could tell were hallucinations but there were others that I actually thought were real. Like I'd hear my father in the next room on the phone with my sister yelling for 20 minutes about how he found child porn (loli) on my PC and I'm a pedophile and I probably molested her kids. Then I'd angrily confront him about it only to find that he'd been asleep in his recliner the entire time. This kind of thing happened repeatedly. I bolted out of my bedroom and woke him up at 3am scared shitless with a hunting knife in my hand because I was convinced that I'd heard niggers breaking into the house.

It was an interesting life experience I guess but it really fucked with me, not being able to trust my senses. If it was a chronic thing I could probably cope somehow, like only responding if I actually see somebody talking to me, but when it was new to me it was really confusing.

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>>39548500
a common thing i get is hearing my mom yelling for me from another room then i go in and shes like i didnt say anything but its happened so much at this point that she half expects my dumbass to just wander on in there for no reason anyway. i can tell most of the voices are coming from inside my own head but that doesnt make them any less believable or real medication make shit a lil better but it also makes you feel retarded on top of basically already being retarded on top of being retarded from drug use what im trying to say is im not really all with it as they say especially when i find a reply to one of my posts that i just forgot about because i did it while conversing with one of my hallucinations idk shits odd

>TFW diagnosed ASPD
>TFW the worst that happens to me is of my own irresponsibility
>TFW I get all the benefits of having no guilt, shame or remorse and succeeding in life at the price of not feeling true[/spoiler[ love

>>39549646
whoops, also
>TFW high functioning alcoholism

>>39549646
wtf aspd is that autism u got me fucked if you think im gonna close all of these 4chan tabs to google that shit but yea i feel you man high functioning alchoholism huh, probably better for you than meth so you havent fucked up as bad as i have respect man people dont know how hard it is living with a mental handicap

>>39548500
Fucking pedophile !
I have something similar
>Take a bottle of water in my room
>browse 4chan and wants to drink now
>there is no bottle
>repeat x3, literally open the same bottle 3 time in a time bubble

Thank god it happen only when I am tired and when my imagination become too strong.

>>39549850
sounds like some shit that would happen when i took psychedelics in high school

What is an absence seizure ?

>>39549886
I am my own drugs.

also some people shouldn't do drugs, in my family we may have something weird with weed.
I see and talk with people in a time Bubble again,I've also seen a cat everywhere for a month .
My uncle teleport himself.

>>39549956
u got me extra fucked up if you think im gonna believe your uncle can teleport but i hallucinate cats a lot too, im definitely one of those people who shouldn't do drugs but i do them anyway cause i have very self-destructive tendencies

>>39547812
>yea the voices you get used to but you never stop believing them because theyre inside you right how could they be wrong?

This, man. Plus, I hate it in here when they're gone.

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>>39550028
yea thats the most fucked up part is if the medication wipes it out you miss the fuckers. shits crazy

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>>39550014
I meant he "wake up" somewhere his memory reset.
>self-destructive tendecies
You deserve everything .

>>39550079
shut up nigger. did i deserve to have parents that didnt give a fuck about me my entire adolescence and let me run around willy nilly doing all the drugs i wanted while my mom got drunk and my dad fucked his new wife? nah dog fuck out of here i didnt do anything to deserve this fate

>>39550240
No one did, that's the harsh beauty of life. We've all been subject to a world in which we didn't subscribe to. You can either make it or break it, be happy with a 9-5 or wallow in self pity and drug/alcohol abuse. Or you can try and become a rich muthafucker and the drugs and alcohol don't seem as bad when you're loaded with cashola.

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>>39550240
>What is commensense ?
You double Nigger

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>>39550314
>>39550319
we got some nignogs in the house sound the nignog alarm weewooweewooo
1. i already am a rich nigger (vicariously at least through my family is what im saying)
2.i dont know wtf u just said cause im off my rocker on the crank again.
yall play tekken?

>>39550402
Then you're one of the lucky ones, middle class is shit tier lifestyle.

>>39550481
ya both sides of my family are well off but my dads side i have problems with so he only pays for my health insurance (which is a lot as you may imagine) and my car. not saying thats nothing but my moms side certainly pays for a lot more

>>39550529
paypal me some money you fuck I have to bike or get the bus everywhere

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>>39550573
damn thats rough let me check the budget
hmmm
ah yes
just a few more calculations
sorry im gonna need that cash to buy more crank from my sketchy gay 60 year old crank dealer so looks like he'll be getting it woops lol

Every time I have to open a door or pick something up I take out a cloth or gloves instead. My family thought it was really weird but now just gave up but sometimes they get really upset because I make things to difficult.
Then there's the matter of birthdays and Christmas where, though I do enjoy my presents, I have to fake enthusiasm because I am just emotionless most of the time but that would really break my family's heart if I didn't seem to be excited

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>>39550696
dog holy shit we derailed the everliving fuck out of this thread holy fuck lmfao im not of this world

>>39549790
Anti-Social Personality Disorder

Make it original bitch

>>39549909
A very minor type of seizure where you blank out and lose conscience for 5-10 seconds (usually). It'll look like the person is staring blankly without any notions of response

>>39546438
>stare at some one for a few seconds
>its the end of the world for them.
Oh get fucked its a old habit and I dont like staring at my phone.

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>>39550958
You're raping me !

>have some sort of dyslexia.
>My brain talks like a retard because it thinks like a retard.
For example:
>I mix words like "breakfast" and "snack" because they're both light usually sweet times you eat food.
>instead of "chiedere scusa" I would "chiedere scudo" / "saying sorry" "asking for shield" because the two words are close by and the idea of saying sorry it's of exposing myself, so I ask for cover. A shield.
>right is est and blue, West is left and red. And usually I mix them
There are more but I can't think of them because I don't realize I'm talking like a complete retard most of the time.

They should have gassed me the first time I thought my thootpaste was mint and saliva. Salvia. It was fucking saliva.

>>39550928
oh i feel that literally speak to one online friend and my mom once a week my dad and thats it so i definitely feel that oh and a drug dealer cant forget him hes extra sketchy and gay cause i found him on grindr

>>39547576
this should be
>he had friends
you both need to fucking leave

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>>39551013
dog thats how i feel when im on crank
aka right now

>>39551013
Where do you live anon?

Your story I find interesting

>>39551094
But I don't want to be on crank.
Fuck I just want to speak like a normal human being. It honestly seems that's way worse in my native language than English. Maybe it's because I know less words.

>Also no bulldog plz
(No bully)

>>39551195
lol this man thinkin he me or some shit i see what u did there yea when im on crank i talk like a motherfuckin ass escaped slave runinng from massa>>39551175
i live north carolina lived in florida for a while but not anymore i live in north carolina now

>>39546438
Probably got some undiagnosed autism or shit since I was a massive sperg in elementary school/ middle school
>>elementary school
>dumb almost bowl cut
>would stand on one leg like a crane; said I was "resting the other leg"
>literally Slav squatted in my chair sometime
>walked around on my toes (still do this without thinking about it)
>wore literal autism core. cordoroy pants, white new balance tennis shoes and striped, collared, cotton shirts
>>middle school
>friends began sitting with other people at lunch; I didn't want to because I didn't want to get to know them or some shit
>practically lost my friends because of this
>my handful of friends from elementary school were basically gone for 2 years and I got super depressed because of autism loneliness
>started wearing all black save for jeans, black new balance shoes and the same black jacket all the time
>wore this with the intent of not being noticed but it just gave everyone the school shooter impression plus super pale
>puberty started hitting too and I didn't shower more than once a week or wore deoderant so I probably reeked long before I noticed
>all this drove people away from me more so I was stuck in permanent autism isolation
>this really damaged my mentality (started hearing my name called in the halls a lot but I don't know if that was people messing with me or just me hearing things) and what reputation I may have had or had the chance to develope
I eventually grew up not looking bad but my spergyness on top of lack of social development quickly drove away the handful of girls that didn't know about my autism already. I can barely function around people anymore and want to die. Sorry if I got into blog tier shit here

>>39550616
>>39551094
we get it, you do crank. I hope your dealer sells you some sketchy shit n you OD

>>39551195
How much do you think about thinking. I spend a lot of time smoking cigars, drinking scotch, and examining the various way my brain makes connections. I have a similar problem to yours.

For me I was unable to make the connections to think up the words to form sentences, I got around it by figuring out how my brain was orginizing information and thinking on the ways to retrieve it easier.

tfw im banned
as fuck

>>39551257
hey man thought u should know that i consumed some crank before this and thats a rather mean thing to wish upon someone are u sure u alright in the head man u shouuld get checked out amigo u sound like a professional nignog

I have epilepsy too
Tonic clonic full blown
It has basically ruined my life

>>39551265
yo are u that crazy mofo from the other thread who i sent to detention?

>>39551328
Wut?

Bloxbloxblox

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>>39546438
Got a real horror story for you guys.
>be autistic
>take good long walk, stop to grab a bite to eat before heading back after finding some spare cash in my pocket
>as I step outside the store, homeless man asks me to buy him something
>no wallet, no more cash on me, no food at home since not going to be able to get to store for another day
>it would take at least almost an to get back to house
>since I can't buy him food, don't want to say "no, sorry" and come off as rude
>socially inept I panic
>pretend to be deaf and gesture I can't get him anything and I have to go
>after spazzing out realize I had my headphones around my neck the whole time
Autism was a mistake.

lmao nigs these days.

>>39551175
Pizzalands.

>>39551265
I kinda never do that. It just comes out naturally. The word that fits the concept I want to express comes out. It's the wrong one and only Then I understand why I did it.
But sometimes it's just because words are swiftly and they look like one another.
Pollo(chicken) is like polpo(squid) that's like popolo(population).

>>39546438
ADHD causes me to miss social cues and people think I am autistic sometimes.

>have intrusive thoughts
>went to the store, full of people
>crowds make me anxious and anxiety gives me intrusive thoughts
>getting really bad intrusive thoughts in the middle of shopping
>can't stop thinking about people in violent or sexual ways
>wander around the store staring at the floor trying to shake these thoughts
>keep hitting my head and mumbling "no no no, go away" constantly
>I'm fairly certain people saw me acting like a schizo
>leave everything on a shelf and fastwalk out

This is why I don't leave my room anymore.

look at what my methd up brain did to this poor poor thread oh boy this isnt good im gonna go take some more if this is the dose that finally kills me i need one of you to watch evangelion 4.0 for me when it comes out dying mans wish lmfao yea right like a mans gonna die my dealer literally slammed half a gram of this shit and drove to the fuckin park to meet me lmfao taking an extra .1 wont kill me *dies* lmfao yea right shit now im dead im communicating to this thread through the afterlife i alreadyy shat up the drugs thread so its only apporpritae i come back to shit up the one i dereailed talking about my problems that dont matter but fuck u dad really dads probably the reason im a god damn meth head lmfao yea right its my fault i did this shit anyway i hope yall are havin a fantastic lil evening there but im either gonna go play vidya or actually i think my attention span is just so low even on the hardest stimulant there is well to be fair theirs quite a lot of psychosis going on upstairs u feel me oh yes indeed and the best part about this is im a STEALTH TWEAKER my mom has no idea her poor traumatized son that saw all the men shed bring home to drink and fuck saw oh here i go talking abouut my problems on an asian kimchi board no one cares dog shut up anyway remember when i told u guys that i was schizophrenic yea well i still am guess what its not going away lol ill have to live with that for the rest of my life until the sweet embrace of death takes me looks like that extra lil sumthin sumthin i took wont kill me after all good ill be able to see evangelion 4.0 for myself cause believe it or not my parents dont trust me with money who wouldve guessed lol they even take the ssi money from me cause i mean look at me a nibblers a little tweaked out u feel me anyway ye i rememember this one time basically the only fond memory i have of my dad it was right before he remarried his slut ass wife that doesnt even speak mofuckin english anyway character limit c u g

>>39551863
I think we would all appreciate it if you just made these posts in your head instead of on the board

>>39551942
and i wouldve appreciated it if you had stayed in your fathers ballsack you fuckin mongrel ass kike dont fuck with kung fu dog ive played enough tekken to know how to kick an ass u better watch out amigo say some sly shit like that to me again and ill wipe off some of this amphetmine sweat on ur gfs couch real talk amigo

>>39551993
For the love of god, PLEASE OVERDOSE.