Non-Meme Depression Thread

will my subconcious realize I'm a failure and push me to suicide or do I have to do it conciously?

>>39540596
>tfw to apathetic to even an hero
Just kill me t.b.h senpai

I'm still happy, but other than that I lack the ability to feel emotion most of the time. I can be happy or pissed, but never anything else

>>39540795
I can only be angry or bored
I wish I had a gun so I could shoot myself in the head

Im in the exact same spot anon. Hospitalized for depression rn and apatheic towards anything even my own mental health.

>>39540052
>Or at least offer me some meme advise like what religion I should get into or what drugs I should take.
Do neither of those, in the long run those do more harm than good. Short term advice is literally just go outside, somewhere in nature for a bit. It temporary helps at least.

File: vitenam.png (627KB, 740x740px)

627KB, 740x740px

The natural progression of depression leads to apathy. When the mind cannot deal with its stressors, it becomes numb. We lose global focus (Your life, future, meaning, value) and acquire local focus (Simple activities and distraction, the simpler the better). Baumeister calls it "Cognitive deconstruction"

>I'll take some forget and some happy please... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28LUKNOaWWA

Yep completely relate

We're here, we just don't care enough to respond. Fuck maintaining a conversation.

File: 1503999426278.jpg (29KB, 400x600px)

29KB, 400x600px

>constantly at a baseline of mildly unhappy and very bored
>anything that may have been enjoyable at one point had long since become more slog to push through the day without having to think
>moments to myself where I'm undistracted invariably lead to me overthinking myself into despair
>no motivation to do anything new, only going through life because other people don't want me dead
>regularly break down at least once every other month
>sometimes can't even remember anything about the previous day, like it never even happened
Almost seven years of this shit. Does it ever end?

>>39541577
can you un-deconstruct yourself?

Yes. I feel as if I am alive but not living. Nothing I do is real. All social interaction is staged. I'm not myself.

>>39542227
have you tried being yourself?
probably not an original comment

>>39542245
I don't know who myself is now. Like i've had a complete personality change and when I look in the mirror im confused.

BIG WARNING FOR BIG BOYS
There is no such thing as real depression or meme depression.
Only real people and meme people. Know the difference please.
Phonies must not apply

>>39542257
I think I used to be different person too
every memory blends together and it's kinda hard to tell the distant past from the recent past
my memories are usually in first person so my height is the only thing that lets me tell them apart

File: i-used-the-internet.jpg (103KB, 532x1200px)

103KB, 532x1200px

>>39540052
Throughout my life I was never a "happy" kid, when I hit puberty it became even worse. When I hit my 20s I just stopped feeling anything at all. I contemplated suicide and dabbed into self-harm just to feel something.

10 years I did nothing and felt nothing. Then one day I started going for walks that were one, two, three four hours long. I started eating better, I spent less time online.

Turns out, it was just a meme depression.

As it turns out, sitting indoors, eating shit, and just being mad at words on the internet for 16 hours a day isn't good for your body or your mind.