ITT: post your most embarrasing high school story

>>39539475
i dated the school crazy/whore
SHe had BPD
everyone told me not to do but i still did and she fucked me up terribly i was 14 dating a 17 year old, she was abusive publically everywat possible and immascualted me everyway possible...i was with her for 9 months til she got tired of cheating on me and me crying over it and just left
she was the biggest regret of my life

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>>39539592
>i was with her for 9 months til she got tired of cheating on me and me crying over it and just left

holy shit dude this is the most pathetic thing I've read today

>>39539475
>there's this cute girl in my class
>find out she's into anime
>get so excited I start getting really anxious when she's around
>try to talk to her but it's very clear she doesn't want anything to do with me
>got CHADED last year, started wearing dreadlocks and listening to reggae

That's why I'm so jaded towards women.

>>39539475

>get winter boots from mom, they have these weird "hooks" to run the laces through
>some times the laces from one boot get stuck in the other boot's "hooks"
>lunch, walk with tray with my plate of food, glass of milk, dessert, knife, fork etc.
>boots decide to hook, I trip, I drop my tray over two girls, food all over

Thankfully they were pretty cool and just laughed it off.

>>39539475
>Be 15 y/o
>Final History test
>"Fuck, I didnt study for this!"
>Prepare cheat pages that I hide in my sleeves
>Test goes kinda okay, realize that most students are cheating too
>Almost before the end teacher tells students who didnt hand over yet to move closer to a table closer to him
>Still try to keep cheating
>Teacher realize whats going on, calls me out
>Spaghetti starts slipping, throw cheat papers on the floor, somehow think he wont see that
>"DO YOU THINK IM STUPID, ANON? I JUST SAW YOU THROW THE PAPERS ON THE FLOOR"
>Whole class is looking at me
>Teacher spends the next 10 minutes berating me
>Obviously failed the test, have to come back in summer
>Last month of school year literally every kid in the class mocks me and call me "cheater boy" despite cheating themselves, fucking hypocrites
>Never again do I cheat in a test, even if its obvious im gonna fail it.
There was also the time I flooded the mens bathroom, and the time everyone in class thought I had cumstains in my jeans and pointed out to me.

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>>39539475
>be 15 yo me
>on school rifle team for around a year now
>gets me away from the house and is something I enjoy doing
>managed to get to a state tournament
>get set up in the lane, proper position, etc.
>few minutes into it I'm done
>wait why is my target relatively unscathed?
>ohdeargod.png
>I shot almost all the bullets into the target of the guy right beside me
>got us disqualified
>mfuckingfw

>English class
>We're learning about something with no practical application
>Ask her why we have to learn this
>She insinuates that this is not trade school
>Then tells me she is not there to argue the curriculum with me

My status: permanately btfo

>>39539475
>be me
>be like 14
>suddenly need a shit so bad
>run away from friends to the bathroom
>start pooping
>feelsgood.jpg
>half way out my ass when someone starts banging on the fucking stall door
>quickly stand up and pull up trousers to open door
>my friends are all stood there asking why i'm taking so long and we all leave
>feel weird feeling in pants
>what the fuck
>when i quickly stood up the poop just went into my underwear because it was half way out my fucking ass
>what the fuck do i do
>panic
>i didn't want to say i needed the bathroom again, it would just look weird
>walked around all day and did 3 more classes with a fucking shit in my underwear
>probably stunk really bad and it was really uncomfortable
>wanna die

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>>39539872
>>quickly stand up and pull up trousers to open door
WHY

>>39539920
instant panic from someone banging on the door desu

>>39539872
>friends follow you to the bathroom and bang on the stall door
they are the retards here

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>>39539475
>buying some soda at a vending machine
>someone got the can before I can take it
>start launching it to other guys
>have to predict the parabola to catch it first
>repeat for 4-5 times
>someone on my grabs me from behind and start rotating like a idiot and I just sigh and let it be
it was funny but this happened in front of everyone in the school and in front of the girl I liked. guess I never left my classroom ever again after that

>>39539705
also
>one day during class
>I had a really shitty Klinefelter physique that would cause my pants to slide now matter how much I tightened my belt
>the girl points out that my buttcrack is showing
>entire class starts laughing
>teacher attempts to roast her by saying "Why were you looking there in the first place?"

The teacher was a pretty cool guy, even when he was kind of a dick sometimes.

>>39539475
I don't have a high school story...

I only made it to the 8th grade...

That's because I had the WISC-R4 applied (the wechsler scale for adolescents) when I was 15, and my Middle School principal saw my score, and realizing I had already been operating my own Graphics design business in Atlanta at the age of 15, and I made $3,600 off my first magazine cover illustration (which only took me an hour to complete), he suggested I should drop out of school and just continue with my business...

... When I explained that I was still one year too young I drop out of school, he agreed to pull some strings for me, which he did, and I was able to leave school at the age of 15....

... So while I do not have a high school story, I indeed DO have a middle school story...

By the way, what good did high school do for you?...

It appears to me that you ended up being a shiftless worthless bum who can't get laid

>>39539592
Emasculated*

So you went to high school and you can't even spell?

Why does that not surprise me?

>>39540034
RE: KIND OF A DICK

the kind of a dick that you'd enjoy in your rectum?...

(I consider it Freudian that you would talk about your ass crack and use the word 'dick' in the same post)

>>39539705
>one girl that likes anime doesn't like me and turns out she's a retard
>I now hate all women

bruh that's a stupid ass reason

>>39539475
>walking down the hall
>group of stacies in front of me
>group of black qts behind
>trip and fall
>bust the fuck outta my head and face
>start laughing and play it off as i secretly die inside
>the stacies ask if im okay
>shrug it off

that's it. im pretty normal tbqhwy

>>39540109
Eh, I kind of exaggerated how pissed of I am about it. That was ~7 years ago and I moved on. Met some girls in college who were kind towards me and wanted to talk, but never got past the friendzone stage.

>>39540149
FRIENDZONE

that's your choice, not theirs

Why have you decided to spend your life whining and complaining and seeking pity over problems that you created for yourself?

>>39540149
bruh just bee you'reself my man and you'll get out of the friend zone

>Girl tells me she wants to come to my house to see my new dog
>She gets there and we end up making out
>Calls me her boyfriend
>Next day she says she doesn't want a boyfriend and breaks up with me
>Emotionally destroyed
>Later that week she starts dating another guy
>Literal Wojack tier rage
Fucking roastie

>He breaks up with her
>Texts me saying she wants to come over
>I don't respond
>Wojack status: red as a solo cup
I just don't want to be abused. Help me frens

>>39539960
THAT WAS A FASCINATING STORY !!!

PLEASE TELL IT AGAIN

PLEASE

so.. you 'go into the bathroom', and some guys follow you into the bathroom and start banging on the stall door?!!

AGAIN : THATS STORYTELLING SOLID GOLD !!!!!!

IM ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT !!!

PLEASE TELL YOUR UNFORGETTABLE STORY AGAIN !!!

>>39540212
You would make a MUCH better 12 year old emotionally unstable girl than you do a man

>>39540274
Well now I have no emotions except hopelessness, so I'm stable in that regard.

>>39540212
I love how you sexless adult males are SO STUPID, you actually believe a woman's labia (vagina lips) are created by having sex...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

and I suppose your nostrils were created by smelling things?

And your ears were created by sounds ?...

HAHAHAHAHAHA !!! IDIOT

anyone who uses the stupid term ROASTIE proves that they've never dealt with female reproductive organs at all

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>>39539712
I've got those kind of boots too. After the laces got hooked once, I realized I could just bind them vertically.
It's too hard to explain it here, so I won't. Good luck out there, anon.

>>39540313
"WWAAAAAHHH !! POOR LITTLE ME!! FEEL SORRY FOR ME!!! I WHINE ABOUT NOT HAVING ANY EMOTIONS !! I TYPE THAT IM FILLED WITH HOPELESSNESS IN BULLSHIT GAY FORUMS FILLED WITH SEXUALLY INEXPERIENCED MALES!! WAAAHHH POOR ME!!"

STFU, bitch

>>39540359
Congratulations on your life-changing post about shoelaces....

(is it possible you could demonstrate your boring personality even MORE effectively?)

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>>39539795
This sounds like something I'd do iih.

>>39540256
well the story is that i walked around school with a shit in my pants, it happened in high school and it was embarrassing no bully pls

>>39540407
Good luck with your attempt to break the Guiness Book of World Records entry for "Most cancerous shitposter".

>>39540359

Please DO explain further. Your epic theories and original techniques of shoelace configuration are spellbinding, and I don't think I can continue with my personal journey through life without a complete and thorough detailed description of EXACTLY how you modify your shoelaces

u succ balls "x"
i think u should just go ahead and die
plz go ahead and die

>>39540476
LOL @ ATTEMPT

I'm an utter success

"x" why u change ur name
now i cant insult "x"
u suck "FascinatedByYourLaces"

>>39540426

Dude....

That pic is BADASS as fuck !!!

(stands and applauds)

God damn, cats are so cool
And THAT pic is one of the best

*downloads a copy to send to my wife in MMS*

o wow
"x" is still here
fuck u "x" u piece of garbage

>>39540426
My wife Wendy just got the pic

SHE LOVES IT !!!

thank you, sir

>>39540562
Lol @ you assuming I had left...

You know what happens when you 'assume', don't you?...

You make a faggot out of yourself

... Just kidding... It's just a joke...

(I'm aware that your parents created you, faggot)

It's not your fault... They should have both been sterilized at Birth

>>39539592
You write like a retard, it's emasculated not Immasculated what the fuck would that even mean. Did she put the masculinity inside you?

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HIGH SCHOOL STORY :

One day I was performing oral sex on my mother, and the kernel of corn fell out of her vagina and onto my tongue...

... I continued performing cunnilingus on her, and a large piece of potato fell into my mouth....

So anyway, I kept eating mom out, and a really big chunk of it chewed up meat landed in the back of my mouth (it was actually more like two big chunks of chewed-up meet connected in the middle by a piece of Gristle)

.. finally I asked my mother, "are you sick or something?"

...and she said "NO, BUT THE CUSTOMER BEFORE YOU WAS!"

listen "x" this is anon website
im free to assume if i want to assume
if u dont understand then leave this site plz

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My entire junior year was a meme

>be me
>socially awkward autist
>transfers to another school after sophomore year cuz I'm so lonely
>still awkward but getting better, start at least trying to socialize
>suddenly get back from winter break and getting panic attacks
>legit vomiting in school from anxiety
>have to see psychiatrist, gives me an antidepressant to help with anxiety
>turns out im bipolar so it makes me manic
>goes from quiet kid to a fucking spastic
>everyone thinks I'm on coke
>one day goes to school wearing squid hat I won from six flags
>legit chase people down the hallway trying to get the tentacles in their face
>becomes a literal meme, a fucking joke
>told myself "it's just a prank bro"
>realize that even doing it ironically is autistic

Runner up would probably be when I tried to demonstrate centripetal acceleration by spinning on the floor in class in front of everyone.

Shit like this persisted until a month into senior year when I suddenly became suicidal and depressed for the first time in my life and got diagnosed. Some people thought I was funny, but most thought I was annoying and/or retarded . Sucks because I never meant any of it.

what kind of story is that "x"
i dont believe it why would u have sex with ur mom and why does she have potatoes
i think u may be weird "x" plz visit a therapist he may be able to help u

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>>39540749
CORRECTION:
this IS NOT an 'anonymous' web site

Not at all...

If it were, they wouldn't have a place for people to type in their names...

Stupid...

Just because YOU fell for the self defeatist 'anonymous' bullshit (exactly why you can't get laid or succeed at anything) doesn't mean this web site is specifically for losers like you...

*pushes you backwards with one finger"

>>39540256
He's quoting the other guy's story u shithead monkey

>>39540777
>check those trips
I doubt that they'll stop the bully thought.

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>>39540840
YOUR COMMENTARY ABOUT HIM REFERRING TO ANOTHER PERSON'S POST WAS INDESCRIBABLY STIMULATING !!!

PLEASE REPEAT YOUR TIMELESSLY FASCINATING COMMENT ABOUT HIM AND THE CONTENT OF HIS POST

>>39540256
My fucking god shut up or kill yourself you retarded tripfag

u don't know if im a virgin "x" i might have fucked your mom and u wouldnt have known
also u wouldnt be able to push me because u dont know where i live
thats what anonymous means so u are retarded i think

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>>39539475
> "alright class, where do you think you'll be in 5 years? Starting with...anon!"

>>39540777
ANXIETY DISORDER:

pussy bitch

coward

Anxiety attacks are simple HYPERVENTILATION

they can be 'cured' by breathing slowly, four deep breaths in through your nose, and out your mouth...

Faggot

>>39539592
my older brother went through the exact same experience. except it was in MS. When he was 14, he dated a 17 year old girl that had flunked 2 times. she cheated on him and had a threesome with his friends.

the only good thing is, that my brother still lost his virginity to that slut (if you count that as positive). and she was thicc

>>39540913
Okay so breathing will Cure my depressiin and anxiety. Thanks grandpa.

>>39540943
>the only good thing is, that my brother still lost his virginity to that slut (if you count that as positive)

Um, wouldn't fucking EVERYBODY count that as a positive?

UP WITH SLUTS

>>39539994
kek. kids can be cunts, but that was funny.

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>be me
>in class freshman year
>gotta pee
>teacher does all the "i dunno, can you?" bullshit
>yea fuck you mrs. kovach lemme piss
>run to bathroom
>open urinal
>start running to it
>chad gets there first
>now im looking for a stall
>gonna explode
>see stall with door slightly open
>fucking sprint to it
>push open door and theres literally a kid on the toilet
>stop caring at this point
>unzip dick and start pissing on this poor kid
>he gets up and starts swinging
>im literally in a fistfight with my pants and boxers around my ankles and pissing
>kid ends up beating my ass
>unconscious for a few minutes
>wake up lying in a puddle of blood and piss with a massive pile of shit on my chest
>turns out kid was constipated and had drank laxatives
>he turbo shat on my chest as final revenge
>theres literally liquid shit splattered all over the bathroom
>see the same kid later and apologize
mfw

>>39540045
>>39540064
>>39540093
is that you, JohnnyNeptune? why did you change your name?

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>>39541005
Iwas thinking the same thing. The posting style is way too similar

>>39540955
My wife says: no, but it will increase your Oxygen to the brain which might help for spelling

Depressiin

Again... Anxiety attacks can be resolved with FOUR SLOW DEEP BREATHS

faggot

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>>39541005


Huh ?...

I'm confused

>>39541085
Don't you have a son that also used to post here, on /r9k/?

>>39541053
Well maybe you can use this breathing technique to stop larping and saying lewd shit about anon's little sisters, Johnny.

>>39540913
>Unironically tripfags
>I'm the faggot

NAHHH DUUUUDE JUST BREAAAATHE DUUUUDE GET THAT ALL NATURAL AIR MAAAAN

Wow pro tip, never would've thought of that! Anxiety disorders often neurologically co-occur with bipolar, brainlet.

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>>39540212
Fucc da bitch mang

>>39540349
lmao you're as much of a fucking faggot as everyone else here. Fucking can't even be anon like the rest of us, you have to be "x" cause that's "cool" and "edgy." I bet you're a fucking 14 year old wanna-be emo who's trashing everyone for sharing high school stories. When you see one of these threads in five years how about you say "the cringiest thing I ever did was go on 4chan under the name "x" when I was a freshman." Kill yourself, you fucking faggot

I technically was in 8th grade for this but I'm using it anyway

>be like 13
>gym class
>playing kickball
>know im terrible and going to fuck it up
>its my turn to kick
>teacher rolls the ball towards me and i completely panic
>pick up the ball when it reaches me and just walk away
>whole room silent and nobody laughs
>teacher says "uh what was the point of that"
>give the ball back and she rolls it again
>i kick it
>don't even make it to first base

>>39540977
the most embarrassing thing is that I was taller but still he managed to make me fly like that I only feel shame but in my deepest I know I want to feel the wind like that again. without people watching

>>39540738
lmao gtfo you fucking 6th grader i bet you're not even IN high school yet

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>>39540045
>>39540064
>>39540093
>>39540201
>>39540256
>>39540274
>>39540349
>>39540383
>>39540407
>>39540479
>>39540498
>>39540501
>>39540531
>>39540540
>>39540562
>>39540649
>>39540683
>>39540738
>>39540749
>>39540806
>>39540831
>>39540884
>>39540913
>>39541053
>>39541085

(You)

thanks for the new filters you tripcode faggots dfnksdfjnksdlnfgkdsp;gnfeopngopewnopgnhweopgne

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DEPRESSION:

clinical depression... Big deal.. who cares?

Welcome to planet Earth... If you're not depressed, there's a good chance you're not alive anymore

Regarding anxiety
(pronounced AN-ZI-ET-Y)
(not ANG-ZI-ET-Y)

big deal...

fuck off, wimpydoodle

BREATHE IN AND OUT SLOWLY FOUR TIMES

anxiety attacks are caused by the dysregulation of oxygen and carbon dioxide due to hyperventilation

NOW FUCK OFF

Pic: jet at age 4 at Elvis's grave

stop changing ur name "x" u cant hide from me anyway
but seriously why are u such a bully did ur parents beat u
u need professional need u know i am really worried about u "x"

>>39540831
I wish you were right in front of me right now so I could fuck you up. ten bucks says you're a fat, 35 year old virgin in mommy's basement trolling on 4chan cause you feel so bad about your own life. At least these people are interesting

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>>39541173
Correct....

As I already said, I never made it to highschool

53 years old, and oddly enough I still don't have any plans of enrolling in a high school anytime soon

>>39539713
Its not about cheating its about not getting caught noob

>>39541199
"x", better known as, "JohnnyNeptune", is a schizo that shitposts on /r9k/ to make himself feel better. He first appearance on /r9k/ was like a year ago.

I also THINK he has a son that used to post under a name too. But we don't see him much.

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>>39541229
You can't beat me up because I'm a fat 35 year old virgin in my mother's basement. Virgin in my mother's basement...

And my mother won't let you into her basement, so nana nana boo boo

>>39541135
Sorry anon, at least it was only in middle school

>>39541242
>>39541262
Lmao what I fucking thought, some freak who has no life outside of 4chan. Somebody please fucking try and dox this faggot for real

>>39539475
I accidentally RKO'd a petite female teacher once

>>39541309
>accidentaly RKO'd
please elabroate

Guys I'm sorry I've been such a shitposter, I'm just kind of tweaking out because I've gone a couple days without giant nigger dick up my ass and it's making me cranky, and also my gf told me I can't masturbate to her getting plowed by my dad anymore. Please forgive me, I just want to fit in with you guys!

i dont care if his name is jimmy neutron because he uses "x" as his name now
why dont u just make ur own thread if u post this much "x" u know u are derailing the conversation and u are an inconvenience
plz remove urself from this anonymous website plz

>>39541318
yea bro just let the robots do their thing

>>39541318
>>39541336
Jesus christ how do i filter these two out

>>39541166
That story reminded me of something like, when they take your notebook (or any other object) and start playing catch with it, while making you jump like a fool. Excluding the part where someone else grabs you, though. I've seen it happen at school too.

In Elementary some kids did it to me with my notebook, except I was small so I couldn't catch it. All my notes fell from the notebook and at the end they just threw it on the floor and left laughing.

You also reminded me of one time where some fat retarded kid took my notebook and ripped it apart, because someone else scribbled all over the retard's notebook and put the blame on me. I was repressing that memory...

>>39541346
Click the blue arrow and then the hide post button whenever they post

>>39540851
Never even got dubs before, feelsgoodman

>>39541363
But it hasn't hidden their previous posts. Will it hide new ones?

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>>39541316
Okay, I'm typing gimme a minute

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Please don't tell my wife that I'm a virgin 35 year old in mommy's basement

(Wendy thinks I'm a 53 year old who lives in my own house)

>>39540093
Jej your post gave me a hearty chuckle

>>39540983
what the actual fuck?

oreganoli

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>used to have deliver messages between classrooms for an hour a day
>would constantly interrupt classes, teachers would always stop as i opened the door and the entire class would stare as my pale lanky ass virgin walked to the front and handed notes
>every day cringe, one time the teacher even crumpled up the paper and threw it in my face and berated me even though i was just doing my "job;" entire class laughing hysterically as i walked out
>still not even close to the worst
>one day open door to a class, teacher was gone
>me: "who can I leave this with?"
>hot girl: "hey cutie, over here! I'll take it from a handsome guy like you"
>oh god what
>nicest compliment ive ever recieved
>walk up to her and hand her the paper
>she visibly scowls as i get closer
>"haha oh god, just kidding. neeeverrrmiiind."
>heart shatters
>feel sick
>can hear her laughing with her friends and i walk out

10+ years later and I still remember that shit. Sometimes when my gf compliments my looks I get super suspect, like waiting for the punchline.

Weird how something so seemingly trivial can have such an impact.

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>>39539475
>In year 9 Math class.
>Group behind me who are known for being the "cool guys" throwing shit at me.
>It's been this way for weeks.
>I stand up, sperg out and yell "I hope you fucking die alone, cunt".
>Throw my chair at the ring leader.
>Split his lip.
>I run out the class, go home and cry.
>Return after my expulsion.
>Everyone in the school knows what I did and I'm known as the school autist until graduation.

Lol @ trying to block me

Hahahahaha

Can you do ANYTHING right?!!

>>39541360
I can steel manage to miss whatever they are throwing because I'm an idiot and have bad eye-hand coordination. I repress a lot and start screaming facepalming like that time my grandma found me measuring my dick I still don't know if that was a dream or reality it was literally years ago

>>39540983
How'd he take the apology

>>39541481
Thank you, sir

I appreciate that

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>>39541523
haha I misspelled. another embarrassing moment

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Here's a pic of my son Jet when he was two years old...

Speaking of which, im a fat 35 year old in my mother's basement

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>>39541316
>6th grade
>cute petite 30-ish math teacher with really long hair
>she calls me to solve an equation on the blackboard
>I'm passing her desk now, she's standing near it
>puddle.exe
>I slip
>I reflexively grab the first thing near me
>I grab her hair and smash her face on the table so hard I knock her out
>panic ensued, teacher lies on the floor
>there's a lot of blood
>girls scream and someone ran to get help
>I'm still lying on the floor processing what just happened, hit my head really hard on the floor

I didn't have many friends back then...

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>>39541597
CONGRATULATIONS !!!

your post officially rewrote the rules for high schools, now including THE SIXTH GRADE....

brilliant

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>>39541597
Q: since you obviously enjoy WRASSLIN', which wrassler has your favorite penis ?

...and do NOT pretend like you don't watch their penises through their underwear....

Fag

Pictured: my former wife (Jets mom) on the left

>>39541624
I'm not american. Not everyone has such a system

>>39540045

give me your discord in the name of god

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>>39541664
NOT AMERICAN....

nobody is AMERICAN

we're humans

Plus America is a fat 35 year old loser in it's mother's basement

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>>39541691
Dis cord
Dat cord

STFU

>>39541597
>When you effectively DDT your Math Teacher
Top Kek anon 10/10

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I was in the 10th grade

I was performing cunnilingus on my 10th grade teacher

Suddenly a piece of carrot fell in my mouth

I continued eating my teachers vagina

A piece of broccoli fell out onto my tongue

I kept going

And a mouthful of vomit, cheese and macaroni slpashed into my mouth

I asked "ARE YOU SICK?"

and he said "THATS MY ASSHOLE.. I DONT HAVE A VAGINA"

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Whoa!
Radical!
Fuck you!

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>>39541507
Fuckers had it coming

>>39541235
lmao just like that part in the naruto comic