/howareyou/ General

I'm fine. I'm gonna read a book so I can get a free pan pizza from Pizza Hut.

Kikes.
I want to destroy them all.

>>39536480
Im in class and im suicidal. Thanks for asking.

>>39536480
Bad. Everything is bad and will never stop being bad.

My gf of 2 years is leaving for a year to go to college 3.5 hours away. I'm spiraling towards depression again and it's killing me. I've been waking up with anxiety attacks the past few days. I have 9 days until she leaves. Please make it stop I just want to get off this wild ride

>>39536480
I want to die. Yesterday I realized that the only friend that I had was making fun of me repeatedly with his other friends.

I'm trying to meditate and become pure of heart and mind but every time I try to clear my mind it fills up sadness and hatred to the point where I can feel the negative energy as a knot in my chest. What should I do?

I can't even imagine myself feeling happy.

Resisting the urge to go shoplift dextromethorphan like a degenerate criminal

>>39536586
I'm gonna go see her on the weekends but it's the massive change that's absolutely terrifying...

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Skipped first 2 days of college to watch animes.
and tomorrow i do it again.

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>>39536607
>implying that isn't the behaviour of an ascended dextromaster
Bonus points if it's generic brand dex from a dollar store.

I go back to uni the 14th september but it's the same day divinity original sins 2 is releases so I'm a bit mad

>>39536480
Miserable. I woke up feeling like shit finding myself wishing I had died in my sleep.

I feel like a fat dumb piece of shit

is there a cure for having below average iq?

I am doing very, very fucking bad and I get worse exponentially faster.
I am so fucking terrified right now and swarmed with misery and guilt.

I'm losing my mind over a woman who I can't have. I write 1000+ words about her every day, my every unoccupied thought has her seep into my mind...it's getting beyond a joke. And yet I can't bring myself to ignore her.

This is probably some divine justice for my shitty past actions

>>39536480

Not good. Very angry and disillusioned. Getting blackout drunk this past weekend sent me into a depression and anger spiral. I'm hoping I didn't say anything stupid to anyone when I was blacked out. I cannot remember a large chunk of my weekend or ever communicating with anyone.

I've been trying to snap myself out of it so I can do work. I've been thinking about nothing other than getting revenge on society for fucking me over my entire life. I have a feeling society ruined my brain and my life and then shat on me for being dysfunctional from it afterwards. I'm doing my best not to drop out and seek revenge. And I would get my revenge too.

>>39536480
Anxious, frustrated, and uncontrollably sad.

OP here, sorry was afk

>>39536586
hey mate dont stress too much, im sure itll all work out. if you are having massive anxiety you should try talking to someone like a doctor.

>>39536636
dont skip class man, i did it at uni all the time and now i have no friends post degree

>>39537703
read more

>>39537946
you dont seem very stable man, try not to be so angry, maybe you need an outlet like running or something. getting blackout drunk may not be a good idea for you

>>39536480
I was having a good day until a faggot OP like you posted.

>>39538029
>you dont seem very stable man, try not to be so angry, maybe you need an outlet like running or something. getting blackout drunk may not be a good idea for you

On the contrary, I am very stable and have a lot of self-control, much more so than the average person. I would be a lot worse off than I am if I didn't have my impulse control.

Usually I'm not depressed and angry. But sometimes I feel trapped by other people and yet invisible to them.

>>39538081
sounds like youd benefit from yoga or some meditation, if your diet is shitty, should improve it.

>>39536480
Third week of college and im doing great, i have never been this social my life. Life is great right now.

>>39538115
fuck yeah man, uni life is sweet. enjoy it while you can. hows it so good for ya?

I am in love with bailey, it hurts so fucking much. I want to kill myself soon, she doesn't even respond to me anymore. I have been trying to talk to her for a couple days and she won't respond but I see her logging on and off. It hurts robots.

someone please tell her to respond to "t". Bailey#8569

;_;

>>39538098
I'm planning on going to yoga. Thanks, "anon." I've been waiting to feel less shitty from the after effects of my hang over.

I'm trying not to get that drunk every weekend because it affects my school work, but I'm just so bored and everyone around me either ignores me or needles me. I can feel the pressure rising inside me when I'm just walking around by myself sometimes. I ate too much earlier this morning to cope with feeling shitty and the sugar rush exploded into a bout of anger.

I'm almost certain adjuvants disrupted the development of my brain somehow and gave me a rash of mental conditions, and I'm very angry this has ruined my life. It's literally ruined everything for me. What more do I have to lose?

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>>39536480

Feeling real fucking good

> Tricked internship into thinking I'm busy with school
> Tricked school into thinking I'm busy with internship

> result is one day of work, one day of classes with projects relating to said work

> 5 days of being a lazy piece of shit in my own apartment

Victory

>>39538140
Im getting friends all around me and im actually being invited to parties.

i feel like i'm holding people back from doing what they like with my faggotry

I actually just made a thread asking where people go for casual conversation. I've been "off line" for about 5 years and now that I'm back, all the usual spots I used to frequent are gone.

How does one find chat rooms nowadays?

>>39536586
>>39536630
Are you guys staying together?

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>>39536586
Im in europoor and my gf left for studying in murrica a month ago.
Yesterday she went to a party, got black out drunk and kissed a guy.
I ended it with her, but Im feeling like shit, I can't stand the idea of starting from the beginning

>>39538531
where in europe? i thought you guys had all these 6" tall blonde godesses all around

>>39538430
The plan is to stay together. And in all honesty she's not moving too far away, like I said maybe 3.5-4 hours. I love driving and have a fast car and a motorcycle so I shouldn't be worried. But I understand that college changes people. She doesn't drink, hates parties, and is pretty damn redpilled like me so idk. But people get adventurous when they have freedom like that ya know? She's told me countless times she has no intention of as she puts it "Hoeing around" because she believes sex is something really intimate. She's been going to a different college over here for a few years and has never gone to a party or anything. I trust her and her judgement but in the back of my mind I'm terrified of losing her.

Earlier I posted about how I can't get a girl because I sound like I'm retarded. I'm not being honest with myself. I sound like a genius (unless I'm dudeweedlmao'd out) until you pay attention and find out I'm for the most part a retarded normie. What I say really lacks substance. Low IQ. I think that's relatively accurate.

And I still don't understand how bitcoin works after reading about it for hours. It peeves me :(

>>39537946
If you said anything truly outrageous people would confront you about it. No worries there?

>>39538029
>dont skip class man, i did it at uni all the time and now i have no friends post degree
Not like it matters. i cant keep or have friends anyways. Besides its likely i will be kicked out soon since im overdue of paying.

>>39538745
Italy, she's cute, kinda 7/10

>>39537946
>
I've been trying to snap myself out of it so I can do work. I've been thinking about nothing other than getting revenge on society for fucking me over my entire life. I have a feeling society ruined my brain and my life and then shat on me for being dysfunctional from it afterwards. I'm doing my best not to drop out and seek revenge. And I would get my revenge too.

What happened

i can't make friends because i'm so constantly self conscious and insecure about my appearance. I have a facial disfigurement that's mostly visible from the side, and it makes me look ugly. Like, genuinely ugly, in a way that makes my face looks punchable. I look good from the front and from the left, but from a certain angle on my right i look like a disgusting freak.
People pay attention to me and treat me differenly based on what side of my face they're looking at me on, and girls i walk past the streets glance at me when they're to my left, but i am practically invisible to them when they see me on my right side. I do not know how to deal with this at all. I feel like my perception has been divided into two parts and i am constantly conscious about which direction i am facing my head. It is driving me insane. I even have dreams about it.
I don't know what to do and how to fix myself. I do not feel good. I do not like being alone all the time. I do not like not being able to make friends. I don't like feeling anxious to go outside everytime. All the people around me in class seem to do fine and get along with each other, but i am the lone black sheep who nobody wants to hang out with because he seems mentally retarded.

It's hard to keep Autismbux going on.

You have to do some sort of training arranged by the working office after all.

I feel like my gut dried up. I have no drive left in life. All I want is some drive and motivation, to be in a state of europhia and getting along with people. What would make normal people happy wouldnt make me happy at all, although I can easily acquire all these things, I just need to want it. I constantly smoke and listen to songs for a reason I dont understand. Im an emotional mess

>>39536480
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
*breathes^
RRRRRRRRRRARARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK BULLET IN MY HEAD, JUST SHOOT , JUST FUCKING SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT

>>39541478
In my dream I saw posting to some thread and getting the number 78 just like this but then someone turned it into 79 creepy. Anyways yeah Im an emotional mess right now, what is easy for normal people has always been easy to me and I feel like Im a threat to society of some kind that really settles in to me. I have a way out of this, there is this elixir my doctor gave me that would fix my gut, but it tastes really bad and you have to eat soggy dried boiled fruits after drinking the elixir I cant get myself to eat it its just my reality, because Im really lazy. What do?

>>39541585
what is hard for other people*

I fucked my life up very severely.
For the most part, I am slowly inching towards Hell, which is an extremely bright, indistinguishable place
I keep writing this in the vain hope that once I die I'll find out this was all a trick, but as I go on I'm realizing more and more that this is not the case.
I am scared, robot's. Very, very fucking scared.

Well, today i found out the girl i was in love with has a boyfriend. It wasn't even suprising (she is cute af), but i still feel like shit. trying to drink myself to death.

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>>39536480
Sometimes i wonder how i ever lost sight of the road, it was always there but i felt like i was in a well, the darkness obscures the road but it is there, follow your compass and you will find a way out of the dark
I am not losing my way ever again, there are horrible people out there that believe as long as they have company in their misery they can feel something and that's enough, the road has much more to show us, your hate is nothing but a breeze to me, i have walked beyond it
I feel good, been a while, summer did wonders, walk on, the journey is best shared

>>39541511
Mostly this but also I hate my job

>>39541666
Are you like "This is devils road here, there is no way out." and is that settled in the middle of your torso?

>>Do you feel some crazy uncomfortable sexual sensation? Do you feel like somebody is watching?

>>Do you think somebody is watching you when no body is around?

If some of these are true listen to me good. Get sandal incense and light it when you sleep if you feel horrible chest aches like anxiety in your heart and back get some himalaya salt roast it on a frying pan then put it on a towel lye down put it on your chest, back and head it will go away. If its really bad then get HU holy sound and play it, bad spirits are scared of that sound. Maybe you will apply these things and you will get better idk, thats how I got rid of that phase of mine. Right now Im just waiting for something good to happen those times are over for me, I leant all these tricks so Im untouchable so yeah. You will only get this much from me and it will help you too(learn to make the HU sound with your mouth aswell)

>>39536480
I think I've figured that the reason I am so unhappy is because I have in my head that I require some rational form of self-understanding. I spend so much time isolated, I can't point to anything in the world in particular that has caused me to feel this way, I can identify my emotions, I can identify my moods, but I can't logically interpret them by being a moral agent in my own life. So I sit on these emotions and let them fester and rot my soul,I hold them close to my chest and lash out against the outside world for refusing to explain itself to me, while cursing my being for allowing me to experience suffering. I know we live in a cold hearted world that is uncaring towards us, but it appears that I don't care for myself either. I need a reason to care, that's all I ask for. Maybe then I won't be boring.

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>>39536480
Not that fucking great. No girlfriend and no hope in sight. Trying to study so I can go to college and get a good career but all I can think about are girls. It fucking sucks ass.

>>39542076
Noted, may have lost everything but I have to fucking hold on to my soul.

>>39542117
I'm in the same boat except I'm in uni. Unless you find a girl it doesn't get better. I also can't stand that mini heart attack I get whenever I see my crush. I will never be able to touch her (or any other female) and it fucking sucks.

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>>39536480
Not too well
Everything seems to be at a complete standstill, nothing ever changes
When I grew up we weren't too rich, but we could always afford food and a roof over our heads even if it was far from pretty
I was never bullied, never through any sort of deeply scarring trauma, never had any friends, never got tricked into anything unwanted, never fell in love nor got backstabbed

Now I'm 21 with a decent paying job and mostly self sufficient but I still find myself not wanting to go on anymore.
I don't think I even deserve to be able to feel this way considering others have it so much worse yet here I am complaining about absolutely nothing at all
what a load of hoopla

>>39542076
You should do the salt thing when the salt is hot, it will suck the negative energy wherever you are feeling it. That was the last thing

>>39536480
I'm happy yet sad.
I was at a Labor Day Picnic at a long time family friend's place, I had stood around talking with some of the old Guys for a while, but ended up playing volleyball with some adults and the family's youngest daughter(14) and her 5 friends. I was hanging around with them for the rest of the night, nerf gun fights and then finally Mafia. When my dad mentioned we were gonna head out, the daughter grabbed my phone during the "night" phase of mafia so that I couldn't leave. Then when I finally did get ready to leave, she gave me a big hug, and even one of her best friends, who has come to a big campout, wanted to give me a hug.

I normally only see her once or twice a year for a total of like 4 days, so I've never been a big person in her life, so having her care that much about me was really heartwarming. Yet at the same time I'm sad because I've longed for that kind of feeling; being wanted by someone that isn't just family... I will one day get a GF but it hurts not having one some times.

>>39542528
There's always someone better off than you; there's always someone worse off than you. Try to find something you like - go to paintball for a day, be a yes man to those leaflets you see in the train station. Find what you like and focus on that since you have a stable life otherwise.

>>39536480
Been feeling lots of anxiety recently. Right now I am still going to university but I'll graduate by the end of the year and I am terrified of it. Having to search for a job, entering the job market... I am already dreading it and who knows if I won't just end up waiting tables or something because my grades aren't good enough. Even working on my master thesis has been weighing heavily on me recently; I enjoy it but I always feel like I am inadequate and not as good or at least not as diligent as I should be. Just lots of uncertainty about everything in my life right now.
I try to enjoy what I have now but whenever I meet somebody I went to High School with or somebody I had classes with a few semesters ago the first question is almost always what am I going to do after I graduate. And I know that the truth is that I just don't know. I know what I would like to do but have no idea if I am good enough or if there are enough job openings (/few enough applicants) or if I would still enjoy it years and years down the road. The most likely scenario is that I will end up in some soulless dead-end job with no prospects or enjoyment. True wageslavery, if you will. I just hope future me doesn't have to work long hours and can still enjoy hobbies.

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>start adult high school in my mid-20s
>have asperger's + add
>khv
>two and half week in school, doing pretty good
>in very first days notice this quiet and shy looking qt girl
>she's sitting in the lobby about 30-40 minutes before the school starts, just like me (I take the early bus so that I can get to school in time because I live in country side and the school is in the city)
>sit about 30-40 minutes in the lobby with her for every day since the school started
>most of the other students have already got to know each other, they socialize etc.
>except her, and me
>I don't socialize or form social circles because of my assburgers, she might have the spergs as well because I haven't seen her talk to anyone or even raise her hand in class
>she sits in the back row in all of the classes
>fiddles with her phone/tablet during recess, perhaps drawing
>mfw planning to talk to her tomorrow

Because it's adult high school, the school is only 4 hours and 4 days in week, so there are no lunch breaks or anything typical high school shit, so my best shot is the 40 minute wait time. It's been almost three weeks, so I guess it's fine to get to know people by now. I have no fucking idea what to do, but I only know I'm going to do it or else I might regret it forever. Qt shy sperg girl sitting alone, and me; the perfect sperg prince. It's the optimal scenario. I have never talked to a girl before, so even if she rejects me brutally, I still "win" in sense that I manned up and talked to a girl.

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>>39542141
>that mini heart attack
Fuck I know that feel brah. It hurts

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>>39543075
I could try that if I knew how to talk to people
Thing is I've never actually had a friend before, I just don't understand how people work and I've always been kind of invisible in any crowd (not too spergy, not too ugly)

to be honest i think the loneliness is my biggest problem anyhow, but i'm too old and it's too late to find anyone else in the same seat, at least when it comes to finding a proper relationship
guess things aren't that bad anyways

I had the first day of school today and I didn't go because fear was too big. I can't live like that, it's unlikely that I will go tomorrow, because of my social anxiety, my life is a complete piece of shit. I literally have 0 friends and I know no one there. I should just kill myself

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>>39536480
I accidentally developed feelings for a female friend who does not reciprocate.Feels so bad man, I don't know how to get over it.

>>39536480
Isolated, like im fading out of reality, i think im a background character in others lives and i have lost all sense of purpose for my life, nothing seems real like it used to, im totally apathetic towards anything, i want bad things to happen just to see if i can feel anything anymore, i cant go outside or talk to anyone, everything is so tiring and monotonous, like a black and white film playing at half speed, my head is messed up and i cant think straight or function like a basic human can. I want it to end quietly.

>>39536480
I found out that my chronic fatigue was from dehydration, not depression. Still suicidal tho, desu

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>>39536480
I asked out an ex-coworker of mine for a date and she said yes but when I suggested a time-- no response. Fuck what did I do?