Which one are you, /r9k/?

>>39530141
im the why me except i never fall in love because i never get close to women

>>39530141
The phoney I guess, except I'm not really up to date on pop culture and I don't have friends.

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Enlightened, all those other faggots are failed normies.

>>39530141
where is the one with no hate, that doesnt encounter women or try too

>tfw no romeo bf

Unfortunately I will never truly become the enlightened because I've usually got a job. But that feel is there.

>>39530418
Are you a fembot or a trap?

ghfdfghfd

>>39530141
I am the enlightened.

I used to fit some of the others, but I no longer care about tfwnogf.

>>39530450
an original fembot (female)

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add the person who hates himself and doesnt think he is worth sexual contact

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>>39530141
I'm Enlightened, unironically. People act like shit in porn and real life. It gets boring to see. I'm usually treated like a third-class citizen because I can't apply for NEET, I'm unemployable, I have never filled a tax form in my life, I don't know how to drive a car, and my own family cares little of teaching or financially assisting me beyond keeping me fed with a roof over my head. I am 24 years of age. All I am able to do is video games, chores, and apply for jobs. So not only are the risks involved extremely high if I were to get a real girl, but also my circumstances are so unfavorable no girl would stick around. I have no social connections either.
I've made peace with my existence as a "worthless leech" as society calls me. It kind of hurts now and then, but if I'm still trying it's not my fault.

>>39530783
What is the appeal of browsing /r9k/ if you are above the core feel of tfw no gf?

>>39530852
Because the second dimension is the best dimension in terms of aesthetics and imagination, though adding details makes 3d mental constructs more appealing. I can also relate to many people on this board with their misanthropy and general distaste for how the higher tiers of society fuck them sideways without much leeway to progress out of their shithole. Some of their problems are self-imposed, others not so much. In terms of this whole imageboard, I can actually have a conversation instead of exchanging blogs the whole time. Anonymity is a treasure in the way.

>>39530978
>in that way
Oops.

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>>39530141

The Enlightened.

I am the embodiment of all the worst aspects of all of them. JK but here's my shit I guess:
>be me
>obtain "why me" as template
>omit all social skills
>horrified by confrontation
>self hatred
>probably paranoid
>loosely in contact with family
>only two friends who grow ever more distant
>squandered all potential
>furfag
>looks like an approximation of a hu-mon rather than an actual hu-mon
>half wagecuck half nothing who spends all freetime absorbed into internet
>is embodiment of cringe
>ran over a frog the other day. no time to react. it just went POP and I cried because Pepe is fucking dead.
>im probably not using greentext because im a fucking IDIOT
>constantly think of dying alone having wasted life
>cleaned my room, bucko. Didn't work. It also became dirty again. Fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!
>still breathing and slithering around for some reason
>decreasing capacity for empathy

The sight of people repels me.

I often get extremely angry and pulverize the everloving shit out of some object.

I wasn't meant to live. Now that I do, I'm not meant to continue but I do like some piece of meat that keeps on living. I am the fucking worst. Someone should just put me down. *insert horrific nihilistic sentiment here*

Damn, before I euthanized my virginity I was a perfect blend of all those except for enlightened and gentleman. Thanks god I managed to get laid.

>>39530141
the denialist but with less denial and more guilt. Still some denial, but not completely.

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>>39530141
Unironically enlightened

>>39530141
I'm a mix between The "Why Me?" and The Hypocrite. I wish I can be The Enlightened but I still wouldn't mind trying a 3D gf.

>>39530141
Part why me and part hypocrite. I don't blame women for ignoring me and I don't think anyone should give me shit reg

>>39530141
Part why me and part hypocrite. I don't blame women for ignoring me and I don't think anyone should give me shit for turning down women I'm not attracted to.

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>>39530141
My fellow phoneys, what is the furthest you have gone in an attempt to cover up your lies?

I work in a supermarket and I am 33, and therefore, there have been many rumours spreading relating to the fact that I am a virgin (this is also fuelled by the fact I have never spoken to my coworkers in a manner outside of professional work)

When I go shopping I attend the same supermarket and wear the same shirt everytime pretty much, it is a big shirt with plain white plus distinctive stains. People I work with I have overheard discussing the shirt.

So, to trick them I paid a prostitute for 3 hours of her time and told her to put the shirt on then walk around the supermarket for 3 hours. I was hoping it would look like she just had sex with me then put the shirt on and my co-workers would see and think the same. I am not sure if she even went and did it because I didn't ask for proof. Also nobody seems to have noticed so it didn't work.

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>>39530141
not a virgin but
>tfw pseudo-romeo+enlightened

3D is PD but fullblown waifuism is gay
Id rather have an RX7

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>all these fags claiming to be the enlightened

>>39530141
I'm probably closest to the phoney, with a bit of "why me?" in there as well. I'd consider myself a failed normie but I still feel like I fit in here since I'm a 22year old virgin who's never had a gf. Not kissless or hugless but that really doesn't mean much.

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>>39532136
The only real qualifications for "enlightened" is to have moved past caring about relationships, and have good anime taste though.

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The enlightened ride bikes. Everyone else drives cars

>>39530141
it's amazing how trapped we are by social standards and feminism.

you can just call us pathetic and that's good enough

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>>39532195
>Bike Riders
>Enlightened

I can appreciate a nice-looking bike and can say that I've never experienced one, but I think a nice japanese car is also pretty high up there.


Still, autos>women. Good taste, anon, and that's a sexy looking bike.

>>39532136
I'm physically fit, I think relationships are meaningful, I think that, while men are different from women and both excel at different things, men and women are equal, I'm moderately attractive, I'm not insecure about myself, I have a social life, I have excellent taste in 2D and I don't think I'm better than anyone else. I just don't want a reltionship, it never appealed to me.
What else would that fit?

>>39532269
>Excellent taste in 2D

Just out of curiosity, what's your taste, anon?

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>>39532255
Japs are the Chads of street vehicles. It's either a Kawasaki bike I'd go for, or a BRZ for that top notch handling.

>>39532284
The only 2D I watch is cartoon horse program
:^)

Used to be squarely a "Why Me?" but I barely think or care about relationships anymore. Hard to fantasize about having a relationship when you're too busy fantasizing dying desu.

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Saddest example Phoney checking in

>tfw had a girl in my bed but was too much of a bitch to make a move
>tfw like the smell of my own semen
>tfw seem normie enough at first glance but freeze the fuck up whenever people start talking about sex around me

no one deserves the life of a failed normie

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>>39532373
>watching
>2D
This is your fatal error. Try getting into VNs, and not normie-shit like cripple girls. I'd recommend Grisaia, Demonbane, and Dies Irae.


>>39532313
BRZ is nice, but I'd go for an Impreza WRX first. Still, a great car. If I ever got enough money to collect cars it'd be my second or third choice from Subaru.


Mazda hasn't been good in a long time and I hate the fact that I still fellate them so much, but I'll never give up my love of the RX7

>>39532446
>VNs
Yeah, nah. Japanese and anime stuff doesn't interest me.

>>39530141
On my way to Enlightened, I just don't care any more about my virginity.

None of them, I know its because im autistic and ugly. Still doesnt change the fact that I like fucking warm wet holes.

Our lives are truly connected to the opposite sex in such a way it defines our value as a man.

porn ,sex dolls, it drives the normies crazy

>>39530141
combination of "why me" and the "phoney"

None of them? I'd say physically I look similar to Chad in the enlightened, but I'm still fairly pathetic and depressed. A relationship would be nice but it seems like a hassle

I suppose I could go through and try to pick out the phrases that fit
.
Age 16-20:
>Fully supported, has the luxury to sit around thinking about every mistake
>Falls in love etc.
>Has personality of a brick
>Has no experience of social interaction
>Gentlemanly tongue b/c of wikipedia
>All of the judgemental (no tiptoeing though, wtf?)

Age 20-23:
>Has personality of a brick
>Has no experience of social interaction
>Gentlemanly tongue b/c of wikipedia

Now, age 24, with a job.
>Has personality of a brick
>Has no experience of social interaction
>Good health

>>39530141
I guess the phoney, though I haven't gotten close to sex and I've never actually tried to fake my way through a conversation about sex or relationships (it just hasn't come up). That "why me" greentext sounds really relatable, but only the first point applies to me.

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>>39532423
>had a girl in your bed
>didn't do anything
But you already did the hard part even getting her there in the first place wtf anon
.

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>>39530141
Phoney/denialist here.
It sucks. I'm not asking for else.

>>39530141
>>39532136
Every single person who thinks they're Enlightened is actually "The Denialist".

>>39533408
Now I kind of want to know what stringing a few loaves of bread around your head feels like. Thanks for the new obscure feel anon.

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The enlightened. Come to the light, brothers.

id be willing to bet a "denialist" made the enlightened to feel better about himself lol

Hypocrite/judgemental hybrid. I never was rejected by my looks, I just ruined all my chances because I was a huge nerd in highschool and my friends would always talk to me about pokemon, yugioh and other nerdy shit in front of girls and make them cringe. I also rejected all the ugly girls who ever made a move on me. College in 25 days is my final chance to get out of here.

>>39532269
>men and women are equal
Seriously now, you know that's just not the truth.

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>>39530141
Sort of "why me", but I don't "fall in love", I've given up. I'm just not the kind of person to be loved, I can't even make a single friend despite studying at uni and living in a dorm room.

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Phoney, but again, i realized i am a dirty faggot that can only disappoint his family pretty recently. Now i have to hide the fact i'm virgin AND gay, isn't that awesome?
plz just end me

>>39531723
Gr8 taste in comic m8

>>39530141
Something between The Mommy Issues and The Enlightened.

>the "why me?" to a tee
>the mommy issues minus the last part
>the judgemental minus the tiptoeing and tinder

>>39530141
You forgot the neo-nazi, but that kind of overlaps with Mommy Issues and The Judgemental

At least 4 of these archetypes apply to me and im not a virgin, what's going on here bros

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>>39530141
>tfw phoney
If only I could reach Enlightenment

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>>39531551
Your not the worst. You are the product of millions of years of successful evolutionary adaptation. Every single one of your ancestors reproduced. Think about that. Its in your DNA to be a functional human being. You just have to wrestle with the world. You have to suffer. You need to face the fears slowly one by one. Slay every dragon that stands before you and transform your self into whatever you need to be at the moment you need to be it. Have faith in your inner strength because that's exactly what you lack.

Jerked off daily since I turned 11, ended up like equal parts Romeo and Phoney (sans shit eating, scat is pleb tier)

phoney without the tasting cum part. and being close to sex.
a little bit of why me and judgemental

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Hard to pick just one.

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>>39531673
It's an awful feel, isn't it brother?

>>39534112
Also a faggot here. I mostly fit into "the hypocrite" and "why me" categories.

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>>39535823
same.

originality is the key

>know the nature of women but don't hate them for it
>no weird porn interests, nothing saved on computer
>not depressed but have bad anxiety
>friendless NEET, never held a real job
>turned down a girl at a meetup with old high school friends
>want a gf but am afraid of the concept at the same time
>not funny, no personality, can make small talk on good days

What am I? The denialist seems closest.

>>39530141
why am I none of these?

>>39530141
Cross between hypocrite and enlightened because of a hard case of oneitis. Or just the hypocrite without all the anger.

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>>39530141
A "Why Me?" with friends

>>39530141
Im just gay, female flesh is sin

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>>39530141
Enlightened. All I need is cute 2D waifus.

>>39530141
This is so fucking retarded lmao

Cross between a Phony and an Enlightened. I have no interest in 3D women and until recently lived an idyllic NEET lifestyle of consuming anime and pursuing my personal interests. But I also have friends and need to maintain a semblance of normality to them so I'm always lying and having to BS my way through relationship conversations and it makes me feel like a fraud.

>>39530141
>mommy issues

I'm more of a daddy issues kinda guy

>>39537730
Denialist detected

>>39530228
nice channel family

The "why me"

too sheltered to do anything worthwhile

>>39530141
Im a light version of the Why Me. I get depressed when people talk about their relationships but i dont "fall in love" with every person i see or meet.

>The Judgemental has a low self-image so I should continue to insult and criticize them until they do.

I never got that, shouldn't you try to support them until they are able to pick themselves up?

I couldn't find one that fits.

I'm a virgin at 26. I have good self awareness. I don't want to make some poor girl miserable. Also I'm wise enough to know that the version of love in my head is different from reality, if I were to find out the reality, I would lose my fantasy. Desire often leads to disappointment.

I am a 31 year old Lvl 1 Warlock.

>>39530141
>tfw a Judgemental progressing towards Enlightenment
Women don't ever settle, if a better man comes along, they are ready to jump ship. Since I'm not a Chad, it's safe to assume that no girl would honestly choose me over one. As of now, I've managed to stop trying, but I have yet to completely kill my hope of having a qt gf.
If there's any Enlightened ones in the thread, please share with me your words of wisdom.

The Judgemental
I'm not short or repulsive looking but have other incel features which I fucking hate and which probably guarantee that I will never be desired, let alone have a gf

Denialist on my way to becoming enlightened (still wagecuck)