Psychotic/delusional mental illness thread

>no basic bitch depression normies

how to trigger r9k in 1 sentence

>Be 17
>Suicide attempt
>Thrown in a psychiatric hospital for 2 weeks
>Come out with prescriptions for a shitload of medication
>ADHD meds really fucked me up
>Lost 30 pounds in 2 weeks
>Been off the meds for 7 years
>Still have tremors in my hands and twitchy eyes

>No stimulants at all these days but people think I'm a fucking crack head because of my tics

>>39528667
Were you at least fat and so the weight loss was a good thing? Or were you normal weight then changed into a scronny meth head? That sucks that people think you're a crack head, has anyone actually said that to you or do you just think they think that?

I was skinny before, and now I am skeletally skinny... I've put 10 pounds back on, but I'm still 5'9" and 110 pounds...

And yeah, I get called shit like junkie, druggie, and crack head all the time... I have learned to ignore it, but every now and then it hurts a bit.

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>pic related, my first psychosis

I still think there's some truth to it, especially the second psychosis was incredibly convincing. Don't get me wrong I don't think I'm the chosen one or anything like this anymore, but I dunno.. just feels like there's more to it than just too much dopamine in my brain and nothing more.

I'm schizoaffective, when I'm psychotic I hallucinate small things that are not there like bugs, shadow people, people saying my name or talking about me. I also think people can read my mind and that I am being spied on. I got a lot of hidden messages, saying I am chosen and stuff, or telling me my future. I was convinced the Jews and the Government were spying on me and had plans to kill me. Now I think that some of the paranoia was warranted, and I still think that despite it being a hellish experience at times, it offers perspective that makes it a gift to have this mental illness. The boring bits about it are the constantly wishing for death and finding no pleasure in almost anything (music and drugs I still enjoy).

>>39529547
I think there's definitely more to it than chemicals. You get a rush of dopamine on most drugs, doesn't make you psychotic (unless you're already prone to psychosis)

I see things frequently and think everyone's talking shit about me, I hear my mother screaming my name sometimes and she's not home lol. I've successfully alienated everyone my family just leaves me In my room at this point lol. I also think everyone wants to kill me or knows I think I'm a man/or am a dyke. I have rapid changing moods and my highs are pretty neat I'm a bit promiscus bit I never spend too much money, my lows are like crippling anxiety i don't leave my room and myparanoia will escalate and I don't leave bed I feel completely paralyzed and like my life is over

No audio-visual hallucinations. Not schizophrenic. Every night before I fall asleep I see these strange looking people in my minds eye. They smile with this devilish grin and their face transforms into a reptilians humanoid being. It's real too, they exist, they just won't let me be. I think I'll need a shaman to help me get things right.

Anyone here have weed-induced psychosis?

Anyone here OCD?

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diagnosed schizophrenic here. made the unfortunate mistake of giving in to temptation and relapsing on meth. you can imagine the chaos thats going on in my mind right now. but for some odd reason i like it and thats whats so fucked up about it. i feel like if i had good parents growing up maybe i wouldntve been in this situation but thats ultimately a pointlesss question, and im not trying to put my bad decision off on someone else. this too shall pass i suppose

I'm a little afraid a might be schizo but then I'd have an excuse KEK

>>39529547
>tfw you're not crazy, just started waking up in the matrix then got overstimulated and delusional

It's long and complicated but
>In college
>Dabbin on the haters
>Always been a weird kid, always had mental problems
>Start to have really weird thoughts that I can't control
>They keep happening, causing me a ton of stress
>For example, I saw a guy walking his dog and the first thing I thought was how badly I wanted to kill his dog and then him (even though I'm not violent and LOVE dogs)
>Start to think my thoughts have power
>Strat to think that I have powers with my thoughts
>My thoughts can kill people, give them cancer, influence the lives of others
>Doesn't help that I start hearing voices telling me to be violent
>Thoughts naturally turn that way, towards friends and family
>Scared to death that I'm hurting them with my thoughts
>Best friend kill himself
>Psychosis on overload
>Flip out and blame myself, voices blame me, tell me I killed him with my powers
>Slam my head into a wall at home, actually manage to put a hole through the drywall
>Start hallucinating in the days after (I used to hallucinate before, but this time they were robust)
>Shadows jumping and lunging at me, etheral shapes all over the place
>Psychiatrist disgnosis me with OCD+Psychosis
>Puts me on Abilify and Seroquel
>Life gets DRASTICALLY better

>Back up in college, stress is really fucking with me
>Start regressing back to my old, weird self
>Decide one night to sleep in one of the buildings on campus, despite the fact that I had a dorm and a good roommate
>Because I was back to my old self, I hadn't been sleeping for a few days
>Cops find me wandering around the building
>Take me in, but because it was unlocked I convince them I was just harmlessly wandering around
>They're cool with it
>Therapist is pissed tho
>Psychiatrist ups my dose of abilify and Seroquel, diagnosis me with Schizoaffective disorder
>All creativity dies because the meds
>No longer dab on the haters, but life is okay now

And that's my story. I can go deeper, but I won't unless you ask

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>Publish my semi-autobiographical novella on my facebook account
>Ends with the main character frantically calling himself the next adolph hitler and speculating that he'll spend his life in the psych ward
>Two weeks later in the library reading The Stranger
>Start laughing out load maniacally at how absurd life is
>Everyone staring at me
>Feel intense sexual attraction to everyone around me
>Feel an invisible force pulling us together like we're about to break out into an orgy
>Return home
>Have a discussion with my brother about race (This was when Colin Kapernick was in the news)
>Suddenly get the feeling that my brother will murder me in my sleep
>Go off driving around the State (Iowa)
>Terrified of all other vehicles and people
>Stop in a random lake town
>Overhear people talking about Trump (Build the wall)
>See a group of white people who seemed to be afraid of a group of minorities standing around
>Start having the image of Charlie Manson's laughing face in the center of my field of vision
>Convinced that my hometown is rioting and about to be destroyed
>Hurry home
>Parents had filed a missing person report and mom is on the phone asking about how to get someone involuntarily commited
>Panic, yell I WONT LET YOU SEND ME AWAY
>Hop on my bike and ride to the nature center, avoiding my mother who was following me in a car
(cont)

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>>39530996
>Survive by drinking water out of the river
>A jogger passes me by
>Hear what I think are gunshots
>Believe the race war has started
>another jogger goes by, warn him of the murder that has just taken place (he calls the cops)
>Walk back into the city, interpret the cars driving in groups as the fascist mobilization of society
>Determine to stop the race war by immitating saint francis of asisi
>Cop notices me walking and orders me to stop
>give him a look as if to say "fuck off"
>tackles me and puts me in handcuffs (felt sexual to me)
>Sheriff comes and is nice and asks me if I'll go with him
>Agree
>Believe I've inadvertently been chosen as the leader of the whites due to my claim in the book
>Think they're taking me to a secret command bunker
>Get there and feel like I'm hitler in the bunker, enemies closing in, everyone about to commit suicide
>Overhear cops standing outside my room laughing "I thought we were going to have to send in a swat team to get him out of there"
>Convinced Obama has a swat team on the way to extract me from the doomed city
>Walking around psych ward
>Nurse warns me that im approaching the pediatric side and to walk away
>Stand frozen, just thinking "Suffer not the little children to come unto me"
>warns me again, dont move
>Physically removed and put into restraints
>Realize I'm in a psych ward
>Watch TV for weeks
>Every show is about me or coded messages about the race war
>Hear weather reporter say "A wave of lesbianism is spreading across the midwest"
>Get out of the psych ward
>Start Reading Kierkegaard books, start thinking he lived a double life as a terrorist in 19th century Europe, was abducted by aliens, and communicating with me telepathically
(cont)

>>39530996
>>39531042
>(cont)
Please, spare us

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>>39531042
>Watch nasa jim videos with friends
>Seriously freaked out about aliens
>Drive around again
>See glowing red lights in descending lines as I'm out driving
>The prospect of a Warhammer 40k like future really freaks me out
>See busses filled with children
>Horrified that the same state that moves them around to educate them would send them to war
>Remember /lit/ meme about Julius Caesar's Notes on the Gaellic Wars being all about corn
>In Iowa, Corn Everywhere
>war's coming
>return home again, symbology everywhere
>the book the Godfather is propping up a table, evidence that the town is controlled by a criminal underworld
>My facebook posts are changing the world around me through manifestations of the collective conscious, china brain thought experiment
>Promise to bring the 90's back
>Crystal pepsi back for a limited time
>Go deeper and deeper into synchronicity
>Do magic with hand signals
>Become completely catatonic and non responsive
>Think I'm suffering from Jerusalem syndrome
>End times are here
>My hometown was the new Jerusalem
>Christians and Jews working together to blow up the Sun because aliens are invading
>AI taking over, Singularity happening
>Horrified that humans were attempting to immanatize the eschaton
>Parents drive me to the hospital
>Keep warning them not to demanatize the eschaton (achieve it without divine "magic"
>another month of tv watching
>Recover, read Capitalism and Schizophrenia in the hospital
>Mfw I just caused the social machines to short circuit by amplifying the flow of desire

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>>39531064
i posted wrongo picture

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>>39531064
>>39531042
>>39530996
Now that's a real trip. What are you doing nowadays?

>>39531162
Im back at school finishing my last semester in physics. Dont do much besides play League, really.

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>>39531202
>tfw a delusional lunatic can finish his physics degree but you can't

Nice work. Physics is too much work for me.

>>39531295
I probably should have prefaced my story a little bit. This occured last Summer after I had dropped out of school. There's no way I could have done school work in that condition. I recovered pretty quickly from my psychosis and have been off antipsychotics since January. No symptoms since. I think it was just stress induced.

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>>39531064
>AI taking over, Singularity happening
He doesn't know
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA