How do I get my fat gross neckbeard of a roommate to stop loudly

>>39513207
Yell "HEY YOU FAT UGLY FUCK STOP JERKING OFF WHEN I'M IN THE ROOM" as you throw a glass of water at his head.

>>39513207
Get him to exercise. Then he at least won't be fat.

>>39513230
He's exercising his right arm.

>>39513237
Unless he's jerking himself off very actively to the point of heavy sweating (been there), I don't think this counts.

>>39513229
Believe me I want to do this very badly but he's actually not that bad besides this, he keeps to himself and is halfway considerate otherwise. So I don't want to piss him off and potentially ruin this dynamic, I need a more subtle way

>>39513329
Well, then...
"Excuse me, but would you mind very much waiting until I am out if the room before you pleasure yourself? It makes me rather uncomfortable when you masturbate in front of me."
Or maybe you can offer to exchange hand jobs.

>>39513329
Roll over quietly and say, "Hey, nice dick ya got there"

>>39513207
Start eating a ton of fibre and get up while he's jerking off and say "good morning" then let out a stream of loud braps. Make masturbation hand movements while you fart.

>>39513207
Pretend you're waking up, stretch and yawn etc. If you do this every time he will get the message. Make sure you give him time to himself at other times though, dudes gotta wank sometime.

>>39513463
this is pretty reasonable. we have our own bathroom in our dorm though so he has no excuses