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My mom has actually told me to go kill myself. Multiple times. At this point I don't know if she just tolerates my existence or has just shut herself off from me. I have suicidal urges and I don't know how to cope with it. Currently I am doing ok in school but I'm barely trying. I can't work up the motivation to do anything else than laze around. Watching vids on youtube or browsing memes, listen to music, that kind of shit. I barely get any sleep either. All of it in an attempt to fill the empty, still void of a life that I call mine. I feel completely useless. It's gotten to the point that I've begun thinking about killing myself almost daily. I've been bullied practically all my childhood and I have emotional trauma that makes it hard to open up to anyone. I've been bottling up my emotions for a good 13 - 14 years now. Slowly getting closer to that ever so critical point of no return.
If you ever see a video of someone who does some stupid shit like do the nazi salute and screaming fuck the left before they pull the trigger, that's probably me.
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You unironically need God in your life
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suicide is generally accepted everywhere except in the west. mostly because of christcucks.
no reason to be miserable.
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>>39497788
At this point I don't even know why I haven't killed myself yet. I don't know what's stopping me. Either that or maybe I'm keeping it from myself intentionally.
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Find a purpose in your life, you will enjoy it again. I'm sorry about your mom.
What do you like to do? Do you live in a metro area? Any hobbies you're interested in? Are you passionate about politics? Do you enjoy helping others?
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>>39497706
Lucky. I want to kill myself but I can't because my mom would if I did and I don't want to be responsible for that.
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>>39497706
Don't kill yourself. Be a drain on your mom's existence everyday until the moment she dies. Why should she deserve anything better? Why should feeding and clothing a kid count for anything more than the bare minimum? Be greedy and grab up all the happiness you can see.
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Honestly, if that woman dares to tell you that you should commit suicide then she doesn't deserve to be called a mom. Consider cutting off any contact with her, maybe move to your relatives or friends house in case you live with her, find something to distract yourself from her. She's not worth your life.
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