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Don't pee after you masturbate. Semen will be stuck in your urethra and the pee will splash everywhere. If you pee in a lunging position, it should be fine, although take care that no one accidentally walks in you like this.
Get a nice, sturdy bench at waist height that can support your bodyweight with you rocking back and forth on one leg. Elevated beds and sofa chairs work. Use this bench to do step-ups and incline one-armed push-ups. You can further adjust the difficulty by using your other limbs to assist. Also get an ab wheel and do controlled negatives standing. You can roll on the bench if you need further assistance.
Cum inside paper towels. The strong fiber they're made of means you won't end up with a case of tissue dick. You can also use new socks (old socks will probably have some sort of fungus) and used underwear. Single-ply toilet paper is good for patting the tip dry and picking your nose.
Rub your mustache and upper lip everyday with a cheap travel electric razor. For some reason, electric razors are able to give close, painless, hassle-free shaves on these areas only.
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one bump so hopefully a lot of people can see this
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Here's a tip for glasses having NEETs
Take off your glasses and take a look at your nose pads. Take your fingernail and run it perpendicular across the surface of the pads with a good amount of force. These things absorb a lot of face grease and can get pretty nasty if you don't clean them.
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This.
This is a troll thread right?
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>>39469636
>Rub your mustache and upper lip everyday with a cheap travel electric razor. For some reason, electric razors are able to give close, painless, hassle-free shaves on these areas only.
But i'm trying to grow goatee.
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dont tell me ehwat to do idiot
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>>39469877
I don't see anything in my OP that would upset people.
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Cum on your hand, lick it off and swallow it after masturbating. This is the most eco friendly way of disposing semen. There is nothing in your sperm that will cause any harm to you, and you will no longer have to dispose of paper products or cum socks.
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>>39469859
I wear glasses without nose pads.
Cons:
I look like a tumblr SJW faggot
Pros:
Easy to clean
Very durable and cheap
I look ugly anyway
I never go outside anyway
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