Mental Illness General

Or maybe you are like me and can convince yourself you are suffering from something you are not?

>>39437008
No matter how fucked you are most competent psychologists / psychiatrist should never diagnose you on the first visit.

>tfw you are so fucked up you display symptoms of multiple mental illnesses and PD's and every psych gives a different diagnoses.

>tfw you're so fucked up you haven't received a single complete diagnosis

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>>39437008
>TFW so mentally ill can perfectly fake every symptom to get the specific drug you want

I'm going back to my college's psychology clinic.

I'm going there because I want to stop impulsively picking at my scalp, but I'm worried that I'll crack and they'll find out about my other, more serious issues, or that I've been on antipsychotics for years

I have so many fucking diagnoses, but I don't care about that shit. I just wanna stop picking at my head. Then we can work on that other stuff.

>tfw you are brought in by police so stark raving mad rambling insane that even the clerk at the front desk knows what DSM diagnosis you have

who else /schizotypal/ here? the only bad things about it are the anxiety, derealisation and paranoia.
i see nothing wrong with my beliefs. what harm is there to believe in elves, fairies, that lord of the rings was real, etc?

>>39437008
I like femdom and also skitz she turns me on in 6 seconds I like to fap and choke myself

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1iKbhd6fAb6

>>39438386

Not schizotypal but I thought my neighbor was smearing period blood on my door to cast a spell on me and a wizard was possessing the bodies of strangers to try to kill me and send me threatening messages in code, among tons of other retarded delusions.

>>39438386
I just had 2mg of kpin so winding down I see demons trying to get me when I have psychosis I also play with my penis way to much, I want a female to spit on my dick and make fun of it

>tfw consumed by anxiety so strong that it prevents you from talking to people
>tfw start a new job that is amazing first job dream job, stem major
>faked confidence through interview
>anxiety is all consuming
>they soon see that I can't speak or barely make eye contact
>soon they will force me out

>>39438484
Wow, you and every other STEM major

I'm going to a psychiatrist on tuesday to be evaluated for autism. It's apparently free for the first hour, so I hope she can diagnose me within that time frame. Otherwise it's 120 an hour, and I can't afford that.
Also sure I have schizophrenia, OCD, and BPD. As a kid I couldn't notice people's faces and would see pictures blink and shit. Had insane rituals that I had to do otherwise I would get upset. Honestly I'm just a fucking mess and need help. I was writing a paper about myself earlier and had a flash of insanity for a split second. It was like I lost my grip when I started to remember things.

>wanna be able know I can kms at anytime I want
>know ill always be too weak to do it
>even though many people have blew their brains out it still feels very lonely and depressing tp think about doing even though if i had a serious illnes id wanna die but still be too pussy

i feel like a wimp because i feel like even if i was in pain id always be afraid of flicnhing, th pain, people coming and trying to keep you alive and how doctors would treat you if you did this

am i a pussy if even highschool girls have hung themselves but i would be afraid to

>>39438386
I'm reading this list and honestly it matches really fucking close. It's scary. I'm >>39438633 btw
Like the delusions. Dubs to me means that what I said is a prophecy of the truth. Also one time I remembered 2 greentexts that perfectly matched what was going on in my life, with each being a consequence of option A or B respectively. The next day I realized I never read any greentext like those.
Why did life turn out like this? Fuck.

You know how i know that all of you are not robots but fake normies at best??

Actual robots dont have the guts to go even see a shrink. Fuck off back to plebbit. You people dont belong.

>>39438801
People who are clinically insane don't give a fuck. We're a different breed of robot.

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i have BPD with generalized anxiety disorder, also, i am a pyromaniac too. I tried to kill myself 3 times, im a fucking KHV and only had 4 friends when i was on college, other than that, i have been my whole life alone. So, i think people don't want to get close to me

>>39438330
What's wrong with picking at my scalp?

>>39439108
how did you attempt? id liek to be able to do it but i feel like if the first shot failed i couldnt shoot again

im a weak faggot

an you no longer own guns? were they mean to you after you failed and how did you do it?

>>39439120
Not for most people, but I do it in excess.

My hair is full of blood. It hurts to wash my hair (getting shampoo in my bleeding wounds is fucking painful.) It hurts to comb my hair. I do it so often that I am unable to move my fingers because I actually managed to hurt them through picking at my scalp

I really want to stop

Who here /zoophile/?

I'm convinced it's a mental illness. I alternate between orgasmic euphoria, and wanting to kill myself. It's almost as bad as pedophilia.

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>>39437008
>tfw it took literally DOZENS of psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, therapists and other faggots to diagnose me correctly after nearly a decade
>tfw I finally got the correct diagnosis and within weeks got on medication that completely stopped one of my worst symptoms

my birthday is in a few days, I'm nearly 26. I still don't have my shit under complete control. I'm seeing my psychologist tomorrow and I could really use some advice on what to talk to him about.

I feel like we're at a critical point in my treatment.... we've addressed the worst of the intrusive thoughts from the OCD I suffer from.

But I still have terrible depression from bipolar disorder type 1, alcoholism and necrophilia. I am so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to have a fucking heart attack most of the time and when I'm not obsessing over that I am so depressed I don't know what to do with myself other than 4chan and play games.

My life is going relatively well but I know it could be better. I know I could be feeling better. Does anyone have any suggestions or advice?

>>39439164
That sounds awful anon, seriously get some help don't be afraid about breaking. You deserve some attention for this, don't stop yourself from getting it

>>39439308
Oh I'm getting help for sure. I've been in and out of therapist/psychiatrists offices since I was young. If I've learned one thing, it's that people should get help.

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>>39439108
>Maruo
At least you have decent taste in manga.

>>39439354
Good luck, I hope things turn out well for you.

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>>39439145
i am from brazil, so im not allowed to carry guns. The first time I used medication, but the dose wasn't enough, and I had to stay in the hospital for a while. The other time I tried to cut my wrists, but I didn't have the strength to go deep enough and I also did not endure the pain, again I had to go to the hospital. The last time, I tried to electrocute myself, but the shock wasn't enough, and I just burnt my hands. Now I just gave up this shit, apparently I'm not capable of doing that.

>>39439520
Thanks man! Hope things go well for you too!

>>39439539
Could just be your brain working against you subconsciously, not to give you any ideas and try again...
It was the case for me.

>>39437364
Are you the hypochondriac from the other thread?

>>39437008
>tfw you aren't even fucked and you're just having a bad time.

How do you guys feel about recovery? I currently live in supportive housing which is suppose to aid in my recovery, I've been on various meds and been taught all sorts of mental exercises but nothing makes me function like a regular human being.

I see my peers around me and they're constantly in and out of the hospital, doing crazy shit and the like. I've been ill for years, I don't see things getting any better or ever 'recovering'.

The worst of it all is my parents still think I'll go to school, get a job and raise a family. I barely get through a day without suicidal thoughts.

>>39439560
All I know is things aren't right. I'm going to a psychiatrist in a few weeks and trying to get all the papers together. This is the first time I'll be seeing someone for help so I'm sort of lost on what to bring, all I really have is an old essay I wrote as a kid that is a mixture of cringe and disturbing. It's embarrassing which makes me not even want to bring it desu.
I'm writing an essay about how I view the world right now. Going to bring that one for sure because I find it easier to write things down than to speak it.

Do I let my therapist know about my drug abuse or do I just not mention that?

>>39439686
i will never try this, because i see a lot of people who are supposed to be "recovering" just using a lot of medication and usually starting to be semi-vegetables.

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>>39439686
>recovery

>>39439686
I have an aunt in her 50's who is currently living in a home for the mentally ill thanks to my very elderly grandmother's charity. She is a mooch and has hepatitus B and will likely die soon and I hate her for being such a leech and a disappointment. Her entire life she has had horrible sexual relationships and embarassed her family, abused drugs and never tried to get serious about getting help.

meanwhile I have bipolar disorder and OCD and despite being hospitalized numerous times and having been homeless and living in a rat-infested slum for years I have ALWAYS been financially independent, now live in a nice home, have a good job, recently got a raise, have a loving gf and am going back to school next semester to become a doctor.

it is entirely about you perception and your commitment to getting better. I have suffered enormously in therapy after trying for over a decade to get on the right medication with therapy that actually helps. Getting help can hurt, a lot, and most people aren't up to the trial-and-error involved. I cannot begin to tell you how hard it is.

if you GENUINELY, HONESTLY want to get better you will commit to it and spend your life getting better. I'm seeing my psychologist and psychiatrist tomorrow and looking forward to it, because I know we'll be even closer to me getting to where I want to be tomorrow than I am today.

What you do with your recovery is entirely up to you. It's possible. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

>>39437481
Same boat. Minus adhd they can't figure me out at all. I'm not too stuck on labels I just want an understanding of some sorts why I'm like this weather it comes in the form of a diagnosis or not