Bedbugs

Get rid of your bed
Get rid of your couch/other furniture
Take all clothes and sheets to a local laundromat and wash and dry on highest setting at least twice
Pack books and other shit into boxes
Buy bedbug spray to spray the entire apartment (every fucking inch don't be a lazy fuck)
If you're too much of a lazy fuck, alert your landlord and maybe they will call an exterminator, or you can call one yourself to come and clean the place.
Be aware these fucking things can live for weeks, and the eggs are really tiny the human eye can not see them. If what you have is a large infestation, it may take months of doing this shit to be sure you are 100% clear.

Exterminator. Only option. Time is money and time fighting bed bugs with bullshit DIY tricks is wasted. They come back no matter how through you think you cleaned. They can live 6 months without eating.

>Doesn't clean for 5 years
>Asks how to remove bed bugs

This nigga serious?

That's what you get for living like a pig. Hygiene is super simple. Even pigs don't eat where they shit.

Literally set yourself on fire and burn down the house, it's the only way to get rid of them

I got them once from a shitty motel. They are the worst.

Sterlization/Extermination is not enough. Your only option is to throw out everything with fabric that you own, and move to a new apartment. Before you move in to the new place, go to a walmart and buy an new set of clothes, shoes included. Change there in the store restrooms before entering your new place.

Sounds like that would be good for you anyway because it will force you to clean your mess up.

>>39397664

>Get rid of your couch/other furniture

Easy, I have no furniture besides my bed.

>>39397727

I don't eat on the toilet dude.

>>39397730

I read about this Dutch dude in the 17th century who committed suicide because of bed bugs.

The itch is not so bad, I have had poison ivy on my balls and face before. It's the idea that they're eating you while you're asleep. Once you see evidence of them, once you see the bugs themselves, it's almost unbearable, and they only get worse.

>>39397861

This apartment is rent controlled no way am I moving, I'm lucky to have it.

>>39397577
Not memeing OP,
>clean clothes with a powerful washer multiple times, if they're flimsy throw it out
>move out of apartment
>get an exterminator
>keep your space clean
>don't cheap out on the bug spray
These little fuckers are by far the worst insect to deal with as they can and will get everywhere, apartments make them much more worse since you can be the most sterile person on the planet and they'll still invade your space because Bobby a few doors down is a human pig. Just pray to god it isn't a large infestation and make sure whatever other apartment you get to is clean all around. And seriously, either throw your clothes out or nuke them, you never know if they laid eggs and you do not want to be around if they did.

>>39397577
>not cleaning up once in 5 years

you deserve bedbugs you fucking bum

>>39397577
throw out all your mattress, sheets, clothes, an raid your apartment.

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>>39397577
I've had to deal with them for over 14 years and I finally got rid of them after switching furniture and implementing certain tactics my mother recommended.
Cover your bed in a plastic covering case then put your bedsheet and blankets over it, this will stop the bedbugs from nesting on your bed since they hate the plastic covering,get a new mattress before you try this of course.
Remove all your couches and wooden furniture, couches are impossible to protect against and I've heard of bedbugs nesting in bed stands next to someone's bed.
Afterwards, buy leather couches if you really need a couch if you have the cash leftover which I doubt you will,anon
Also, invest in glass/metal-ish furniture instead of wooden and other types of materials since bed bugs WILL nest there if it is close to somewhere you spend a long time to (computer chair/bed)
I hope this helps,anon, I had to deal with these faggots for over half my life and I'm glad to share my advice.

>>39397999

Well I have cleaned up here and there but never thoroughly, and bedroom in particular has a lot of books old clothes etc lying around under the bed. Right now the place is a disaster with beer cans on every surface and the floor and the black plastic bags the pakistanis give me to transport the beer but I wouldn't say I've never cleaned.

>>39398055
also,get a exterminator to gas your apartment if your landlord allows it.

Bedbugs legitimately gave me PTSD. I've fougnt 2 wars with these relentless creatures and lost both times. Eventually I had to throw everything in storage for 2 years and buy new EVERYTHING. Even the clothes off my back had to be thrown out. Fuck bedbugs.

>>39397968
>rent controlled apartment
Since you are a social welfare parasite it is only fitting that you experience parasites feeding on you.

>>39398055
>>39398074

Thanks bro. I'm willing to throw away my whole wardrobe and furniture and start fresh, these fuckers don't play. I'd gladly pay a grand to be rid of them, it's that annoying.

>>39398107

Go back to /pol/ you autist, I work for a living.

>>39398133
If you REALLY need to save on your dosh like I had to then just grab all your clothes and stuff it in a black garbage bag and close it tightly

I threw it in my old shed outside during the winter and within 3~4 months they were dead.

This varies with where you live of course but just taking your entire wardrobe to the dry cleaners works as well.

>>39397577

That sounds horrifying op. I would also add that you try borax detergent for the floors.
You can find it in the laundry section. Cover your carpets with the powder and leave it for a few days before you vaccuum. In my experience, any time ive done this i don't have any kind of bugs on my floors for a long time after.

Also, when you do your spraying and such pull furniture away from the wall and check the grooves behind and underneath. Theyre notorius for hiding behind dressers and under drawers

you are a fucking moron.
your life is over. start throwing out everything you own that isn't 100% made of metal. keep your job if you can, you dirty pig, but just stop paying rent after this month. dont even try to rehabitate this shithole, it is compromised. just start throwing away your shit. you probably need more than one month so pay this months to keep heat off your back and use your apartment's garbage facilities to throw shit away.

try to sanititize some clothing, the less the better. live off of that. start looking for new housing immediately and lie and bullshit as much as you can to get into it.
your job, relationships, reputation, none of it matters. you need to prioritize sanitizing, relocating, and then vigilance in your new place because you are probably a contaminated pig.

your car is probably compromised, all of your fucking clothing. your life is over. everything is sunk. frankly you ought to be glad because you are a pig and need washing and to throw off all of this corruption that has piled up around you. you disgust me. get yourself in order.

i had bed bugs and i literally wanted to kill myself.
throw out everything thats not essential and MOVE OUT

>>39397664
I had them, they came in with a new family into my apartment building, did this method and got rid of them but now I live with diatomaceous earth powdered in all the corners.

>>39397577
If you're in a place that's cold or gets pretty cold on winters put your clothes in a bag outside whenever it gets cold out. They can survive up to 15 days in a hibernation state at 41 degrees Fahrenheit but will die in minutes once it reaches sub zero. Leave it out for a week or two when it gets really cold out to make sure those bastards are frozen for good.

>throw out furniture-all of it
>take your clothes and wash/dry them in high temperatures if 120+F
>buy diotamaceous earth and spray it in all corners
>rent a epro 400 heater for 1 - 2 days 99$ per day and heat your house up to 120+ degrees for about 12 hours
>spray hotshot near your habitation areas and dio earth every corner

Its easy to get rid of them with the heat treatment but youll still have to stay aggressive for 6 months.

one of my biggest fears. i dont think i handle it. it woould be the final straw.

>>39397577
I dropped $80 on Temprid SC and trust me I can not afford that kind of money, I am going to dilute it in a gallon of water with Gentrol, get someone to help me move my old nightstands/dressers outside, vacuum the shit out of everything and spray the shit out of the sides of the bed/frame/baseboards. I used diatomaceous earth but it didn't seem to do jack shit, but after the spray dries I will reapply it. I know all of this is just going to delay the inevitable, I've had them for 10 years, I became an alcoholic just to get to sleep/because I lost pretty much all my friends from school.

It doesn't matter if you are a slob or not, they are pretty much impossible to get rid of and all the covers/exterminators etc. charge exorbitant prices because they know people are desperate. They charge so much, nobody can fucking afford to get rid of them so they spread more easily.

>>39399142
Oh and we did pay for an exterminator before but they had got so bad by that point, the guy said the poison would last 7 years. Over the course of those 7 years I would see them dead in the bathroom. They are probably in every room, in the walls, we probably have to heat the whole house to get rid of them. Again, if you are poor you're fucked.

>>39399142

> I became an alcoholic just to get to sleep/because I lost pretty much all my friends from school.

Yeah I've been drinking heavily to sleep/calm down for a number of years now but the bed bug thing does not help. 20 drinks later I don't even care if they eat me alive. Sad!

I've been sleeping at a friend's house since I noticed the infestation but it might just spread it to his house. I've not told anyone IRL about my problem, bed bugs are more stigmatized than AIDS at this point.

I'm hoping that staying elsewhere for a few weeks + thorough cleaning + exterminator will eliminate them. We'll see.

>>39399210
Yeah my only friend started to find them in his house recently ... He lives with his parents too and they haven't found out yet, but probably won't want him to come see me once they do. I was gonna try to sneak over there while they were out and spray his bed before they get out of hand, but by now they might have moved to other bedrooms. If I could afford to replace everything and just leave I would have.

Do as much as you can to rid them yourself before you call an exterminator and if you can afford it, do the heat thing. Although if it's an apartment they'll just move to someone else's room.

>>39399210

I mean I'm not a complete cocksucker I only wear clothes to friend's house that I've dried in a drier twice to kill any potential bugs. But still no one knows about this problem because it's so shitty of a thing to tell people.

>>39399288
My friend got them because he wouldn't listen to me when I told him to keep his fucking shoes out of my room and dry his clothes before he went back home. He knew I had them and just didn't bother to take the extra effort to do all that stuff. We got them from renting the house out to some jailbird scumfucks years ago, then let them get out of hand because we were poor even back then and my mom was in complete denial of having them despite her room being the most infested one. Now they moved to my room, and I don't know where the fuck they are coming from because I spray the bed every other day when I find them in the creases of the mattress cover, I don't see them anywhere in the nightstands, it's like the little fucks can just turn invisible or something.

>>39398115
Make sure to take care of the ones you'll take outside with you. Bedbugs can spread from house to house.

Also, I've had ticks. I don't know if it was necessarily worse, but I have bad arachnophobia and was terrified to go downstairs just in case I ran into one. They're sturdier than cockroaches, and the adult females are possibly the creepiest organisms in existence.

Turns out dogs need flea *and* tick treatment in California. Not making that mistake again.

>>39397577
anon,I know a trick my grandma usually does, I thought it was ridiculous when I was a kid, but putting plastic over every piece of furniture after replacing it and completely nuking these fuckers off the planet is the ONLY guaranteed way to get them to fuck off. Once you have them, they will keep showing up for the majority of your life if you fuck up

>>39397577
if you don't sleep in a bed the bedbugs can't get you

>>39397577
and who's fucking fault is that? sorry you fell for the "living on your own" meme

>Thread about these monsters
>head and back start itching

every time

>>39398321
You know, I never thought of bedbugs as having much of a stigma to them, but reading your post I realize they definitely should. From what I've read and what you're saying, these things are worse than roaches, ticks, and fleas put together.

>>39399573
They are straight from hell, roaches don't even hold a candle and you have to be a complete piece of shit piggu with pizza boxes and shit lying around to get them in the first place.

>>39399573

OP here, I've had fleas before, I'd have fleas any day of the week to these fucking things. If I could wave a magic wand and exchange this for a flea infestation I would without even thinking.

>>39399605
why do bedbugs even exist?

they dont add anything to the fucking ecosystem, they cant even survive without being in some pigs apartment

>>39398547
This. Fucking.Do.This. Put it down around everything OP.

>>39399627
They evolved from bugs that fed on bats in caves. Then we came along, started lived in caves, so they began to feed on us.

>>39399631

My apartment is in a building from the 1870s there is a crack every quarter of a square inch.

>>39399573
There is a very good reason why they have a stigma. Bedbugs quite literally spread like the plague, and total chemical warfare isn't always enough to deter the bastards because there's just so many of them and they can hitch a ride wherever to fuck things up all over again. And they're so small you'll only really notice them either when they start biting you en masse or when they're fucking everywhere. Bedbugs quite literally need to be purged from existence for the good of all life on this planet. Roaches, ticks, sidney funnel webs, fucking anything is better than bedbugs since they at least either die and/or get the fuck out, and you'd have to be a slob to get the others in the first place. But not bedbugs, you can be the cleanest guy on the planet and still get these cocksucking faggots. Thankfully I live in a place that for most of the year is too cold for them, but fuck them either way. This is why shit like chlorine gas exists.

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>>39399627
>they cant even survive without being in some pigs apartment

And they can survive for half a year with no food. Because they are from hell. When they reproduce, the male literally impales the female in the stomach with it's dick.

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>>39399666
>you can be the cleanest guy on the planet and still get these cocksucking faggots
Yet everyone is on OP's case for being gross.

hmmm pic related

>>39399707
>Yet everyone is on OP's case for being gross

That's purely out of fear, like the way people treated lepers like shit.

>>39399707
You're making yourself an even bigger target for them if you're a slob. It's bad enough OP is in an apartment, apartment plus slobby guy that drinks lots of alcohol? Bedbug jackpot right there.

>>39399707
the more messy it is the easier for the bed bugs to find a place to hid

>>39399722
Also he knew he had them and did nothing for 5 years. So that's like 50'000 generations of bugs feeding on him evolving to live in that specific environment.

>>39399722
Well you're gonna stop giving a shit about life if you can't afford to live somewhere that's not shitty, can't sleep because of the fuckers and become suicidal after so many years of trying to cope.

>>39398217
>Veteran Bedbug Survivor
Kek'd

>>39399746

Nah I first noticed them 3 days ago. I live in the hood and I also work with very poor people so I figure I got it from one of those two sources; the clutter definitely didn't help obviously.

>>39398217
>just taking your entire wardrobe to the dry cleaners
You're going to ruin some poor Korean lady's life.

Woke up in the middle of night felt something crawling on my leg

Plucked 3 bed bugs off my bed, PTSD for a week

Washed all my clothes on hot 3 times, some comically shrunk in size but that's the price you pay

Replaced my old mattress, new one was much better btw foam is the bomb

Sprayed some borax and Damascus earth on every inch of the floor and any areas I'd suspect these things to walk

The Damascus earth literally dries up any bug from inside, and yeah I never had a problem since - I think I got the from my college library, I saw one crawling in between some computers

Not a super big deal, but it will take 50 bucks plus a new bed and an afternoon to solve