ITT: NEET life hacks

You can use the shower to clean your ass after you shit

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>To squeeze out as much bandwidth as possible out of your router, plug one end of your Ethernet cable into one port and the other end into the adjacent port. This will effectively cycle network packets through the cable building up a charge for when you want to use the internet. It's like your own personal token bucket! A battery bank of bandwidth!

Get up and do 20 squats when you lose a game to prevent deep vein thrombosis
Put a towel on your chair so your ass can breathe or you'll get ass cysts that hurt like hell and burst open producing much blood
Wash your mouse keyboard and controllers down with rubbing alcohol, they get gross and spread disease to you.

>>39394677
>fap with hand sanitizer if you are cut
Or master to fap without need for tools, still always use your bedsheets to wipe your cum off.
>>39394979
Or you could already have a homegym for workouts or use Pokemon GO as excuse to go on a walk.

>>39394677
>Pee in bucket
>Get camping water filter
>Filter pee into clean water
>You will never have to buy bottled water again

how do I get blood out of my keyboard?

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>If you take multivitamins, you can eat all the shitty junk food you like for the calories.
>Divide your diet into 14 different meals, one for breakfast and one for supper.
>Focus on canned/dry food like beef stew, corn, potatoes, mac n' cheese, crackers, cereal bars, flour, sugar, etc.
>Buy 52 of each meal, for a total of 728 meals
>Don't forget to factor in drinks: water, tea, juice (buy them in a can like biscuits and freeze them), soft drinks, kool-aid packets, and 2 bottles of wine for your waifu's birthday and Christmas.
>Also buy any other supplies you might need: cigarettes, lighters, garbage bags, soap (don't bother with shampoo, just use soap on your hair unless you got dermatitis), go for the bulk deals
>You will only have to shop once a year.
Been doing this for three years and it works excellently.

>>39394677
>reuse plastic bottles no more than once
Why not more than once?
>fap with hand sanitizer if you are cut
This sounds like a horrible idea

>>39396363
You can wash water bottles but it is way more cost efficient to buy a thermos and wash that once every few days.

Don't reuse water bottles too often or you can literally get cancer.

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>>39396330
>2 bottles of wine for your waifu's birthday and Christmas.
This nigga's hardcore.