Tell Confessabear your sins

>>39391707

>fap to the pics of a girl I didn't know since middle school
>contacts her
>she has no clue who I am
>in revenge i made a fake tinder account of her and screenshotted it to her bf
>everyone thinks she's a slut and her boyfriend broke up with her

Last I heard she was in therapy.

Do you think now is my chance to get her?

>>39391762
Yes my child

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Wtf is going on here?
Orig

I've masturbated to hot girls while drooling and smashing my head with a hammerto get me off like the Tex Avery wolf. I howled naked, as well. And I did say things.

I made an effort to masturbate to girls who looked like Red in the different episodes.

I pretend to be Kurt Cobain when I play my guitar

>>39391707
I am a member of the homosex

Jacking it to femboys is the worst, im a good goy

>>39391707
I'm in love with my best friend. Should I go for it and risk the friendship? Or should I just be content with being close to them as a friend. They are single right now and I'm not sure I would handle it so well if they started dating someone else.

I just can't stop scratching my balls and sniffing them.

I like to dissect animals and enjoy touching their raw muscles with the tips of my fingers and spreading their brain inside their skull right before microscoping them.

I buttfucked myself with a highlighter when I was 15 and in the throws of homolust
I want to kill myself lel

/r/incels is a better board than r9k

>>39392152
Where dafuc is that?

I watch porn and go to church, I should confess but everytime I try to stop watching porn I relapse, so I see no meaning in confessing every week and not getting better.

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I've fapped to gay porn.
Kill me.

>>39391707
I think I might be a fag and want to be the gf. I know it's wrong, but it just feels so right. Confessabear, how do I repent and save my eternal soul?

>>39392165
https://www.reddit.com/r/Incels/

way too many normies in rk9 these days.

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>>39391707
I like cuck porn

I pride myself in being a feminist and supporting their rights, and for some reason my greatest fetish are BDSM, femsubs, mind break, cock worship, rape play.
Nothing gets me harder than watching a cocky woman get pinned on the floor and be abused until she loves it and swears allegiance to the cock, leaving her rights behind to a life of sexual slavery.
Im ashamed of this,what should I do?

>>39392325
Nothing. A woman's place is as a slave.

>>39392139
That's nothing worth killing yourself over

>>39392383
No, but seriously, is there a way to stop having a (number of) )fetish(es)? I dont like being this way.

>>39392073
I also do this lol
I really have a good time doing it.

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>>39391707
>sign at park said not to feed the waterfowl
>fed waterfowl anyway

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>>39392580
Discard feminism + find Jesus

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>>39392325
Linkara and Dobson are kind of like that as well to be fair.

I have a homonculus living in my chinacabinet.
It Is Growing Too Big.

>>39393392
Is it a cum homonculus? Has mom discovered it yet?

>>39392073
>>39392615
I do this too. Although a lot of the time I'm trying to one up that glorious bastard.and I fail

>>39393124
I'm honestly shocked at the current state of this website. Yeah, we made racist jokes sometimes, but it was all fun, right? At the end of the day, we all voted for Obama, we all supported gay marriage, and we all opposed racist conservative christians. But now? Our entire fucking site is subverted because of fucking nazis.

The internet is OUR platform. the LIBERAL platform. Racism, sexism, misogyny, were all confirmed to be left in the past because millenials are the most left-wing generation of all time. So why in the FUCK, do we still have to deal with nazis IN TWENTY-FUCKING-SEVENTEEN? Despite how much you wanna cry about how it's just a conspiracy and a boogeyman, Russian hackers ARE real, and this site is proof. We went from one of the most liberal sites in the world to supporting Orange Fucking Hitler? Nah, that's not normal progression because people only get more liberal with age, just like how you get smarter with age.

Threads like these just show that we need MUCH more strict moderation around here. I'm sick of all of this shit. Fuck Nazis, Fuck Fascists, Fuck Hitler, Fuck Trumpf, Fuck White Pride, and FUCK REPUBLICANS FULL STOP

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>>39393661
this shitty copypasta again

>>39393661
>>39393738
Some of it is unironically true. 4chan was built on the foundation of freedom and degeneracy. Basically liberal ideas.

/pol/ was a mistake

>>39393604
Really? I can do it well. His songs are super easy, all I use is a twin reverb, a ds1, and strike my power chords as hard as i can.

>>39393843
By one up I mean write better songs than him. I can play basically all of his songs. But I have a fucking 10 year old beaten up squier starter kit so it sounds like aids no matter what I do.

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>>39392203
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH FAGGOT

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I'm a black guy that makes "sissy white boy" threads and the superiority of the alpha black bull, but in reality I really wish I were a cute white trap.

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>>39393334
it's better unedited desu

>>39393798
pol is a containment board. Would you rather have that shit here?

>>39392241
>normies
>Reddit

Isn't summer over

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I'm catfishing a guy as three different people right now: one grill, two dudes. The guilt is killing my soul and I'm going to ghost him soon but he says all the right things to get me off.

Here's a tip for wannabe catfishers: don't.

Here's another: be sure to switch up your diction and punctuation style if you want to double dip someone.

And another: if you don't have pics to prove you're a girl, you can excuse yourself and evade it sometimes for long enough to get them to engage in a fallacy which I forget the name of. Basically, they have so much invested in you that they won't jeopardize pushing strongly for pics.

Someone please tell me to stop this.

>>39394000
>Would you rather have that shit here?
It's already here. It's all over the fucking place. Those fuckers are like the plague.
I wish /pol/ didn't exist in the first place.

What even happened anyway? Was it newfags taking the jokes seriously? Or did a bunch of conservative morons decide the most degenerate place on the net would be a nice home?

>>39394109
Sounds like you're referring to sunken cost fallacy.

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>>39394148
Maybe people have different opinions man

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I've fapped 4 hours to a hentai game.
I didn't even get any H-Scenes because I always took the pure options because I like to roleplay and only be lewd when I have to.

I think I'm going into the shower now and think about what happened to my life.

>>39394261
Think about how much cash monies you been saving having your sexual needs filled by a computer program rather than a money consuming flesh cunt.

>>39394206
They're allowed to have their opinions, that's fine. Same as how I'm allowed to have mine.

>that image
That's another thing I hate about nu-4chan, the reaction images are lazy and not worthy of saving. Before I'd see hundreds of different ones and they were actually funny and creative now it's the same facebook-tier shit.

Maybe this place is changing or maybe I'm just getting older and more cynical. I'm not really sure, all I do know is that I fucking hate whatever's going on.

>>39394158
Thats it! Thank you, sir.
>tfw fell prey to that in a casino once (but never again, I learned my lesson)

>>39391707

>used to use family's toothbrushed and razors as dildos when I was like 11 or 12
>only washed it off with water and my hands, maybe some soap
>they'd still use them

>sister used to have dolls/toys in shower when we were younger
>piss on them every time

>stabbed a corvette's door junior year of HS

>starting ramping up masturbation habits when I was like 14
>basically had a rat's nest of crusty cum covered socks, boxers, towels, and the occasional bottle under my bed
>maybe cleaned it out two or three times a year
>cum that grazed the wall behind my bed turned brown or into a semi-transparent wax
>around 17 it turned into rat's nest that had what I listed before but also had partially consumed liquor bottles, weed paraphernalia, condoms, a dildo, lube that leaked everywhere, guns, two hard drives, and other shit

You should see the carpet and wall stains.

>used to use WireShark while on Steam
>would either add random traders or server admins (Gmod, TF2, RO2, and a few other games)
>find their IP and general location
>threaten to send shit to their house or kill them
>did this to get free shit, privileged rights in servers, unbanned, and immunity to bans/kicks
>if they didn't comply I'd ddos them out of autistic anger

>used to play around with guns in my car in rural part of state
>did this when I was like 18
>shoot up stop signs and construction equipment that was left around

>used to sell LSD, mushies, and a few other odds and ends
>they were buried into my cum nest when I hid them
>someone probably dropped lucy and got a taste of salty coins + milk

>used to catfish gays on Grindr to locations that were like twenty miles away because I had a really good fucking catfish folder
>only did this 8 times
>would hang out at location they went to so I could take pictures, insult their looks, and be a shit
>the ones that I got a rise out of I'd make more fake accounts, start a pleasant conversation, and reveal my true self

>>39392125
if your a fag then what you should do is kill yourself

>>39391707

Im ready to cheat on my girlfriend. When we first started dating sex was intense, variety, fun, and frequent. Now it's only once in 2 weeks.

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>>39394351
That's true.
Beating your dick for several hours a day greatly reduces your sex drive.

>>39394471
Good original golly do I know that feel

>>39394471
It does? Then how come I don't have much of a sex drive and I only fap 2 or three times a week?

>>39394372
Well the mid 2000's are over unfortunately and its the age of tech savvy normans also I blame the rise of social media its ruined a generation.

>>39391707
I accidentally knocked your toothbrush into the toilet and I put it back on the counter without washing it

I stole an entire pizza from the party next to me at chuck e cheese once. I ate most of it quick and hid the rest under napkins. The birthday boy got upset over no fresh pizza and shit himself crying. Created a scene and they had to end it early. I also took some of bday boys tokens out of cup when no one was looking. Did all of this out of spite because this little faggot had more friends show up then I ever hope would at mine. I was 19

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>>39394493
Maybe anectodal evidence isn't always 100% true?
I don't know, anon.
I'm just a guy who wanks to anime tiddies.

>>39391707
I was born black.

>>39394595
I mean, yeah I guess you're right. Maybe it's because I don't fap to anime.

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>>39394595
Chronic ball drainer here. Do it 2-3 times a day mostly while I smoke le weed XD but I can assure you my sex drive is not quenched.

>>39394493
That's how often I did it (used to be more frequent), then I stopped almost entirely for a couple months, and then I wasn't able to get a boner when I needed it most the last couple times.

>>39394773
So I shouldn't try nofap or else my dick might not work and should just stick with the tedium of 2 or 3 times a week. Got it.

>>39394109
He probably realises he's being catfished and is just going along with it as a fantasy
If you go and tell him that you're a girl he'll say "I knew"

>>39394850
>admitting to a lie
someone doesn't know the sacred rules of catfisherman

>>39394825
I don't know what to recommend, anon, I wish I did. 2-3 is probably best but I've also heard that daily masturbation can help. I just don't have the drive for it anymore. Nofap helps some people but others say "is it or lose it." I guess it varies by person and cock.

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I really did a bunch of petty shit because my pride was hurt by a girl:

>Keyed the fuck out of her car and broke its windows, thousands of dollars of damage
>Burglarized her home, stole a bunch of shit and just threw it all in a dumpster
>Everyone knew it was me, they call the cops
>Cops take me to the station, set up a tape recorder and interrogate me
>I keep my cool and avoid falling for their bait questions
>They have no choice but to let me go, there is literally no proof

Now that I'm older I feel really bad for doing it, but in the moment it felt amazing...

>>39395045
That's pretty impressive anon, how did you get away with it?

>>39395848
>I keep my cool and avoid falling for their bait questions
>They have no choice but to let me go, there is literally no proof

>>39395045
What are their bait questions and teh appropriate answers? I'm a good goy but you never know when the cops will come a knockin.

>>39395895
>do you know why we brought you here?
>can you tell me about what happened to your girlfriend?
>how did the breakup affect you/was it stressful?

Not OP, but shit like that. Trying to imply you know what you shouldn't, tricking you into a confession. You really shouldn't talk to cops without a lawyer unless you really know what you're doing.

>>39395895
Looking back I should have never agreed to the interrogation, but I thought it would be less suspicious if I just talked to the cops.

I had to remember that they were out to get me, they would set up these "GOTCHA" questions like: "How did you know nobody would be home that night?"

Another thing they did was ask me a series of questions that I would respond "Yes" to, and then suddenly ask me "DID YOU DO IT?!"

I quickly said "No" and I could see the disappointment in their face lol

If the cops ever question you the best answer is always "I apologise but I'd rather not speak without consulting a lawyer"
You are never obligated to incriminate yourself.

>>39392203
Same. Multiple times per day for years.

>beat a cat in my early teens
>did heroin a lot
both things that i'm keeping bottled up forever
feels bad

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>>39394372
I don't care for the massive amount of emoji memes. But it's just another meme, bro.

Beated a cat til dead with a table leg when i was like 10yo.