Your life is determined by your parents

but we can still do it and be good parents. you are not wasted potential. social skills and looks are not what it takes! its a man and a woman, force yourself to save money, force yourself to be organized. improve yourself through experience, humanitarian work, online classes, FORCE yourself. i believe in you like i believe in myself. we will make it!

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>>39385384
Only thing my parents did was take me to private english lessons, I was praised a lot through middle to high school for my english knowledge but that's literally it.

Dad is a closet faggot and mom started cheating on him and riding the dick carousel. Dad never thought me anything about being a ''man'' or anything manly like how to do a bbq or drink beer or anything like that. All i remember of him is how he used to dress me up in skirts as a ''joke'' and when he whore pantyhose on his head to scare me one time.

Now I question my sexuality.

>>39385474
did some word fuckups, sorry im tired

>>39385474
that's a mean thing to reveal about your father.

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>>39385384
I have come to this conclusion as well. Basically all of a person's capital - their genetics, social skills, ability to learn - are a direct result of their parents. There's no way around it. And my parents decided to spend their free time getting drunk while I was locked away in my room. It's really no wonder I stay in my room all day - it's what I've been taught to do since I could walk.

>>39385451
>>39385451
>we can still be good parents
It is my only dream raise a little girl like the one in the video, educate her in the languages and arts and whatever else at a young age, so that she grows up to be an accomplished person. I will probably have to adopt though. I'm learning Japanese currently, and am looking to expand into French and German, and I play the piano too. But the progress is very slow and difficult, and whenever I stumble upon a video of a child with great parents who disciplined them into learning from a young age, I can't help but to get extremely envious and feel the need to vent. I could have learned all three of those languages and been a good piano player by now if my parents had bothered to sign me up for classes, or at least taught me the proper fucking discipline for me to self teach myself them. Instead I have to start now, and not only do I have less free time, it is so much more difficult.

I am trying though. Wasting away is easier, but I will not allow myself to go out like this.

>>39385474
And you had no control over it. You were born with shitty parents and now the first 18 years of your life are predetermined fuckery.

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>>39385384
>Parents are lazy benefit cheats who sit around all day
>Grow up to be a lazy benefit cheat who sits around all day

People should have to apply to have children, poor people should be sterilised. Autists like us should be terminated at birth. I grew up in poverty, hating every minute of my existence and dreaming of killing my parents every night for bringing me into this world.

>>39385563
i am very skeptical of the neuroplasticity talk. you can do anything. i think adoption is really good if eventually you cant find or dont want a partner. there is something so perfect about a good single parent

>>39385384
>nurture over nature

No, you would've hated doing things as a kid and end up here anyway. It takes good nature to get a good life. Nurture will only give you an amazing childhood.

>>39385651
eugenics defeat the idea or fact that creating a small world between you and a child and partner can make the whole shitty world bearable. the halcyon i remember that has kept me alive was being taken to a hospital as a lil kid. to me that means more than my fuckability, freedom, etc... u disrespect yourself but i believe it was people like you who made civilization, so the good people can thrive which is a beautiful and magical thing to be around. love is very real.

>>39385384
My parents raised me very well, in the sense that they spoiled me. I'm shit at behaving correctly and I wish they took away shit from me when I did something bad or at least a little discipline when I was young. I started cursing at like 6 and it never had any repercussion. I'm trying to get over it by being workaholic and setting up rules for myself that I must follow to a t.
My dad was home once every 2 days and he was sleeping for half of the day so would that be considered an absent father?

One thing that weirdly fucked me up is my sister, who was pretty much bilangual, teached me english very young (I'm french) and now I have trouble speaking and writing french properly as I get it mixed up with english's way of writing/talking and the same goes for english. I don't properly speak any language and that's weird. Pretty sure this post is ok english wise but doesn't feel quite right.

>>39385451
>can still do it
Helpful opportunities are given to most of the inexperienced when they're the right age to be so inexperienced.
But later, no one wants to guide a 'grown' man through the basics of certain things.
Bumbling into it alone, he may catch on and progress, but he may never, due to a success rate of zero giving him nothing to contrast with his failures and learn from to build on.

>>39385691
If there is anything in this world that keeps me going, it is the dream that one day I will adopt and raise a girl to become a beautiful, intelligent, accomplished young lady. And neuroplasticity is undeniable. Children learn instruments and languages so much faster than adults because the brain is still developing. You know humans are born prematurely, right? This is also why we can't walk and talk until a certain age, whilst lions and tigers are born and immediately start running and hunting.

>>39385837
you will figure it out yourself. as long as youre trying you will not fail. you may not have advice and/or support to build on but you will build on failure and experience.

>>39385760
>you would've hated doing things as a kid
And I still hate it now. What's your point? We all hate working and would rather have our talents given to us on a silver platter. This is why I'm talking about discipline. You need to be taught discipline from a young age.

My parents were pretty libertarian while raising me, so I pretty much had to figure a lot of stuff myself, like discipline and stuff. Luckily I'm smart enough to figure that kinda stuff on my own. I think this style of parenting can work assuming the child has high enough natural intelligence.

>>39385929
no, i didnt know this but heres something you taught me. you know, with the neuroplasticity thing, it really is like getting enough omega 3 and being healthy. might FEEL better but i have known a past drug addict with half a brain who sustained themself on coffee but was a much brighter conversationalist than other person i know. its like brain vs mind. learning is a higher order task thats equally hard for everyone until you reach ur own personal enlightenment that puts purpose before inclination to remain idle all the time

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>>39385384
Not just your parents, but your family as well. From a young age my older brother trained me to believe I was an autistic sperg by making fun of every little childish oddity I had. He made me believe I was unlikable and was just taking resources he could've had. We both got $20 for christmas? He could've had $40. In result I was always low self esteem, never had many friends, never had the courage to do much of anything, never asked a girl out. Like a butterfly effect it still affects me to this day, and even though I know the truth of it all and that he's a psychopath I still have issues. Because I was stunted from a young age.

I never had a parent in my life, the only thing that I had was a computer and video games. Grew up isolated in my room for 23 years and now it's just become my lifestyle. If I try to change it I get upset and feel like the world is ending. I also never learned how to feel or process emotion or express it. Sometimes I feel like a blank slate that has no personality, no interests, no ambitions or motivation. No emotion. It feels bad because I notice how different I am from everyone and so does everyone else. Never had friends and can't make any. Just living to breathe at this point.

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>>39385651
I feel the same way, my parents cheat/abuse the government, and even though I don't do that I still feel so dirty in myself, my flesh and blood parents do that.

People need to take a psychical test, emotional test and financial test before having children, it's so unfair to be raised in families like ours.

I'm also now marked with BPD and forever going to be shunned because my parents couldn't be bothered to spend 5 minutes giving me some love instead I've been emotionally neglect my whole life. Would of honestly rather not been born than have this inner turmoil forever.

>>39385962
the of discipline is doing it when youre suffering. its not smth ur taught and thats it, you do it over and over and its challenging every time. the soul of discipline is that sometimes ur laziness wins and laziness is the purest force in the wooorld

>>39386120
breathing is a good enough reason to live. would offer u friendship though it might not work. i read and acknowledged ur words

my parents signed me up for piano and flute lessons, made me take french and german, also made me do swimming/soccer/pottery and forced me to study all the time and screamed at me if I got a bad grade

still a useless piece of shit who works at a gas station at 28

i'd say it's 10-20% parents, rest is up to you

>mom and dad always telling me that it was all in my head any time I got hurt
>the doctor won't do anything anyway and just cost money
>said this kind of shit when my fingers were handing by a thread
>when I got my face smashed in with a controller and part of my skull caved in
>any time I got sick and threw up
>didn't just stop at needing medical attention
>anytime i showed concern for myself they would tell me stop being a self centered cunt
>now an adult and hate every facet of myself
>have numerous medical problems but refuse to get help because I see myself as worthless now
>always putting things off and can no longer live for myself
>other people is what gives me meaning to live because of how I was raised
>have tried many times to break this cycle
>never can

>>39385384
Is it? Because my parents were awesome and still have a good relationship. My dad was a straight pimp before he met my mom.

And yet here I am.

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>>39385384
> be me
> two hardworking parents, trying to raise a responsible and confident man
> grow up an irresponsible, friendless, unmotivated autist, can't wait to graduate from the uni and become financially independent (so I don't have to listen to my parents), but have no idea what to do afterwards. I'll probably never be happy, because I'm not a genius to dedicate my life to science or art, while being too asocial (and too much of an insensitive asshole) to live a normie life.
> be most of my male classmates back in high school
> raised by single mothers, wageslaving from morning to night
> grow up blue collar bydlo, but with every characteristic of an alpha male, and content with their simple lives. Marrying and having children is enough to bring them happiness and a purpose in life.

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Most of you are young, so while I'm definitely willing to acknowledge that we're limited by our circumstances, you should try your best to embrace a more functional outlook on life. There's a TV show called LOST, and the core philosophy\message of the show is basically - "what happened happened, you can't change the past - but you can take responsibility for yourself in this moment, you can take responsibility for your choices in the past". It's about a bunch of people getting over the trauma of their upbringings, especially the pain and damage inflicted on them my parents.

You CAN develop the ability to focus and read books, and this will expand your mind, increase your vocabulary and thus capacity for thought in general - if you can find a word for something, you gain power in the world. You CAN start to improve your health through learning about nutrition and exercise, and developing basic rules and regimes for yourself. You have access to the internet obviously so you have more access to cheap information than practically everyone who lived prior to the 1980's. You can keep a diary and spend time at the end of every day analysing your struggles, your negative emotions, and working through things to overcome obstacles.

I'd also point out that most young people have no idea of this reality...but nobody really has TRULY functional parents. Sure some parents are more functional than others, but almost by definition if you have children you're a fuckup in some way. You won't learn till you're older but even the wisest old men really haven't accrued THAT much wisdom. Adults (especially boomers) are really just children.

i have 5 siblings and i am the only one who turned out to be a fuck up, it cant be the fault of my parents.

>>39385938
Experience of failure is extremely helpful for learning, when combined with experience of success. That teaches what causes what, what associates with what.
But exclusively experiencing one but never the other teaches nothing. It builds up nothing.

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>>39385384
>mother smoke and drank while I was in the womb and out
>never knew my father
>mother gave me away at five
>raised by a dumb grandmother that was too preoccupied with God and "doing the right thing" to raise me correctly
>rest of my family are two-faced snakes that didn't give a shit about me, only used me when I was young to make them feel good about themselves
>have learning disorders, terrible health, no social skills, don't know how to think and act like a guy, feel lost in everything I do
Actually, there's too much to list. Never had a normal moment in my life. I'll never have a child, I don't want to fuck someone's life up.

>>39386280
Are there any good books you recommend? I used to be a big reader in high school but haven't read since I graduated. I'm mainly into sci-fi and fantasy. I'm kind of picky, though I just want a good story in an interesting world from a well written book.

>>39385384
"I'm unwilling to try to be a better person simply because it would be more difficult for me"
You don't deserve the results anyway then.

>>39386495
Read the through the thread before you post your smartass replies.

>>39386189
well, were they good to you while providing all that? or did they act like cunts and were always yelling?

>>39386480

If you were a big reader at some point, I don't think there'd be much I could recommend as I've never been a a huge reader myself. I've found though that if you've fallen out of reading, the best thing you can do is read something short and simple to work your way back in. I really loved 'The Blue Lagoon' by H. De Vere Stacpoole, which is easy to read and has some amazing moments like one scene involving the discovery of a body.

Otherwise, I don't know - Great Expectations? Amazing read, I'd expected it to be dreary because I saw the modern movie version first, but it's really witty.

If there are anons coming from a family life where reading was impossible (I only completed by first full book when I was 16), I'd recommend starting with collections of writing, you can buy old sets of 'Gateway to the Great Books' very cheaply on Ebay, and in fact I think there are very nicely formatted .pdf or kindle versions of that available. Then you can graduate to 'The Great Books' itself - you can just use the list of included writings which is on wikipedia and download free and better translations\versions to read on a kindle.

Oh and I think it's important to read enjoyable books and only every so often face a challenging book, otherwise all the pleasure goes out of it. Better to read 'My Twisted World' 20 times and The Iliad 1 time over a year, rather than read The Iliad and start on The Odyssey only to get frustrated and give up reading for months.

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>>39386551
I'm directly responding to the original post, there's no need to read through forty other posts from other anons to do so.
SO CLOSE to summer being over I cannot wait. Do a good deed and leave the board a bit early this year.

I don't know if it's all bullshit or not since research and statistics about neuroscience aren't at all concrete yet but apparently meditation can increase neuroplasticity so you can try to give that a try.

Honestly it bothers me a lot too. I look at all the people I've known who grew up to be successful (I look them up on google, see how they effortlessly get first places in competitions regarding their talents ranging from music to mathematics in adolescence, set for life financially at around 20, starting businesses and innovating from thereon) and all their parents are wildly talented as well, there's just no helping it.

The only thing I think about that comforts me is that there must have been one guy like me in a mediocre lineage who aspired for more which then starts a chain of success and talent, but then I also think how if someone from a talented family fails it's because of laziness rather than lack of ability, whereas for my family and me there's no talent in the first place.

>>39386706
Yep, I agree. I would rather just read an interesting story that is written and told well rather than something that challenges me. I used to read for escapism so that's why. Thanks though, I'll check all those out and do what you recommended.

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>>39386189
You were given a good start and you fucked it up.

>>39386755
I want to give my future adopted daughter the opportunity that I never had. I want to see her grow up into a proper lady instead of some idiotic common whore. I don't need a whole family of talent, just one person. One person that I can love and know I had a greatly positive influence on.

>>39386746
Fuck off you insufferable idiot.

>>39386983
No you fuck off you whiny piss child.
Maybe if you weren't all a bunch of limp wristed babies who blame their problems on everybody but themselves your lives would be different.
I can't imagine being so mentally weak that you can't be self critical at all.
R9k is just as much of a victim rolepalying hugbox for betas as tumblr is for sjw's.

>>39387060
>I will participate in discussion and make assumptions without reading the thread
Stop replying to me you fucking retard. You don't know what you're talking about.

>>39387060
That's a nice appeal-to-emotion argument, but it can't refute the role genetics and early development play. Almost all successful people were born to talented parents, and almost all of those parents made sure to push their children forwards before elementary school.

>>39386983
>my future adopted daughter will do very well being raised by an anime-loving weeaboo faggot single dad
>she will NOT be just like her aspie adoptive cuck father

>>39386072
Same. In addition to having distant, cold parents, I had an abusive older brother, both physically and mentally. My parents always downplayed it when I went to them about it, until eventually I just stopped going to them for help.
I was taught to feel bad about myself, my various attributes growing up, so now, I have no pride in myself at all, even if I accomplish something. I have no confidence in myself, so I've never dated. I was always called ugly, even though I wasn't so I now have an inferiority complex and think I am not good enough for anyone.
I was also not taught much work ethic, so I have problems getting motivated to do anything. Couple that with preexisting mental illnesses and you have me. I am so fucked, I don't want to continue living like this.

>>39387060
Trust me, I am self critical to the point of suicide. That doesn't mean my parents get an excuse for the job they did though

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>lower-middle class family
>mother is a screeching harpy state worker, father is an unemployed alcoholic
>he beats her, they divorce
>she hates me for being his son
>gets remarried to an unemployed parasite who depends on her financially
>he beats me, both treat me like shit
>underfed and sleep deprived, feel constantly under siege
>suffer developmentally and go through school being a loner
>by some miracle of genetic recombination I'm somewhat smart, which only further alienates me
>but at least I get high grades and go to a top university in my country
>no longer obligated to go to class, I stop caring and start skipping them
>spend my days rotting away in my room bitter at life
I basically hate my family and my whole fucking life

>>39385384
OP, I have the same fucking problem.
I was a difficult child who never wanted to join clubs as a kid. My parents forced me to do baseball and summer camp, but that's all they could manage.
I wish they could have afforded a private tutor to teach me something. That would have been great.
I want to save up a lot of money with my partner and adopt children. They'll learn an instrument and join whatever club they want. I just want them to know at a young age that improvement can only be achieved through effort.

That's something my parents never taught me. And they're good people. I'm just their fuck-up.

>>39386983
at the end of the day, despite our upbringings, we're both fully capable adults who choose not to improve

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>>39385384
The ultimate pill.

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>>39385384
You were born stupid
and you shall die stupid
thats all there is to it.

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>tfw your parents gave you everything and tried their best and you still turned out a failure

My little brother is much more normal than me. He has a trendy haircut, wears fashionable clothes and has a lot of friends who he plays out with every day. When I was his age I had long shitty hair, wore dumb clothes and sat inside playing video games most of the time.

I'm not jealous of him though, because while he will have a normie life, he's also an absolute fucking cunt. He is a selfish, entitled, spoilt little brat. He has no taste in films, music or literature, and doesn't care. My mum panders to his every whim and talks about him like he has a heart of gold, and while she makes out like she loves us both equally, she often implies that he's better than me because he plays sports and plays out with friends.

If I could go back and be like him, I wouldn't. I would not trade my life for his. I still have friends, and they're much better people than the vapid pricks my brother hangs out with. You might think it's pathetic, but I have great memories of times talking to friends I made online too (people I now meet up with fairly regularly)

What I'm saying is, parents are the deciding factor as to whether you're a normie or not, but you can choose whether to be a cunt or not. Choose not to be.

>>39385384
I agree. My parents gave me plenty of negative attention and restricted my life a lot. My first few years were also pretty chaotic. Parents were more liberal and supportive with my brother, who also got more stability in his life than I did. I also got genes that made me more sensitive (especially towatds negativity) and less optimistic than him. As a result of both genes and environment (almost all this from parents), he's a successful Chad with a fairly open mind and a positive attitude, while I'm a depressed NEET robot who spends most of his life in his room.

but your parents' life were determined by their parents then, you can't really blame them

>>39389046
it all goes back to adam and eve, fuck those people

>>39390032
Why blame then, they were "created" too

I'm inclined to agree.

My sister got every good gene possible. She's smart, she's extremely successful. My parents made her the golden child. She became a Stacy. She is now married and has a job that pays well into the six figures. She never studied in college, ever. She got a 4.0 and graduated cum laude. She has it made.

>Me
I'm 24 and unemployed. I have crohn's disease. I'm sick all the time. I got a 7 month gap on my resume from my illness. My parents never showed me anything. I can't cook anything. I can't fix anything. They left me in the dark because I was deemed the stupid one. My mom told me today that more than likely I will not be employed ever again due to my gap and that I should just accept I'm going to be a loser probably working minimum wage for the rest of my life. I worked an office job before, and was good at it.

I bought a 22lr recently and plan on using it if I'm not employed by the time I'm 26. My insurance runs out and I have a 168 dollar a month loan to pay back.

>>39390392
damn it we need to find someone to blame

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>tfw you are the "mistake child" and didn't get any love, affection or care
>tfw they have another and give it all the love and care you should have got

>>39385384
You're gonna use this as an excuse for not doing anything with your life, aren't you?

>>39391190
Why bother when you don't have talent and didn't start young?

>>39385962
discipline as in self control is a highly genetic feature. twin studies prove this. remember anons, nature > nurture.

>>39391008
>parents literally give 0 shits about me
>parents shower brother with affection, money, their time
>always coarse and violent with me
>he barely graduated high school on time and is working a shit wage job
>im on my 5th year of college because im to depressed to care.
life sure is great

Tfw Parents applied far too much pressure and I broke down around Middle School into HS. Tfw I turned my life around despite this. Tfw career with benefits and upward mobility.

>>39391190
>>39391228
Why bother when your face is ugly as sin?

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>>39385384
My parents never cared about my development and progression as a human-being. They never did anything for me, and my dad just drank everyday while my mother babied me. I was just something to be raised and occasionally loved.

They raised me, but they taught me nothing, and they showed me nothing of import or value while the scholastic system tore into my existence. My father couldn't even pass on his cherished belief in a god due to his negligence, and I'm now an atheist because of it. I believe this is the average life in America, and most people don't ever really have good parents.

A part of me wants to commit suicide, and I think I'll probably go ahead and do it someday.

My sister isn't as smart as I am when it comes to academics/chess, but she's a magnitude more successful in the chess-board of life due to her own personality traits enabling her to be successful in a world without guidance.

I don't hate my parents due to their ignorance, but I can't say they were good parents. Like 99% of people I live around, they were just there, and I was their burden. I'm now 21 years old and struggling to get a driver's license.

>>39388069
Yet what you start from is based off of what you're given.

>>39391683
I think it's rare, but each normie has a good foundation to build their life from.

All the robots ITT are likely raised by the internet.

>>39391806
You can blame determinism for your ailments, but at the end of the day you're still the one opting to not resolve them. Shrugging off any personal responsibility is a cope out.

>>39391683


my parents are cool but my lifestyle is inadequate and I'm almost 21 and I still can't get a license. in a way I can relate to you, good luck anon.

>>39385384
My parents never chose for their child to be a useless moronic sperg.