It's fucking 3am, what are my robros doing?

unironically considering suicide after I run out of education money

>>39357539
Masturbating to Japanese porn. What else could I be doing at this time?

>>39357589
why's that anon?
>>39357598
sounds excellent, what specifically if you dont mind me asking

>>39357673
The JAV thread on /gif/, I'm usually lazy when I have to fap.

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Deciding if I should go over budget with my autismo bux and buy useless shit that I don't need.

>>39357539
Checking voice acting auditions for a dream I'll never actually pursue.

i wake up at 9 am


orrege

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>>39357539
Just got done reading for about seven hours now.

>>39357749
9 pm*

can't believe i fucked that up.

Crying, thinking about her and how pathetic I am

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>>39357781

>tfw 4 years and still do this everyday
I fucking hate myself

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Jesus christ, I'm high as fuck on weed for the first time, alone in my room. I've done shrooms before, it's similar but much more easier to control. I can even write this. I'm feeling so fucking wise.

>>39357754
What are you reading that's got you so hooked?

>>39357781
Tell me more anon? Was she your gf or something?

Wasting time and staying up too late cause I'm kinda worried about school tomorrow. Also checking weather reports so I don't drown.

>>39357539
thinking how in a few hours ill be trying to find jobs again with no luck. how the fuck does everyone else but me have a fucking job now. fuck, i really am the most pathetic human.

>>39357818
It's never as good as the first time. I do miss it, but I had to quit cause I'm trying to find a better job. Plus, I think that stuff was making me more depressed.

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listening to this and thinking about my future.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYYRKW8_pFM

I don't want a normal boring fucking job bros. Trying to become successful in my passion.

Tomorrow I need to do homework. Just started college and it's fine but I just can't picture myself having a boss at a job creating stuff for other people. Fuck that shit

>>39357902
You're not pathetic anon, don't ever feel that way. Everyone moves at their own pace and you're running yours. At least you're trying.

>>39357539
I'm at work, currently taking a shit.

>>39357539
being sad.

Orgionli

>>39357861
Yeah, my first one, I broke up with her because i was insecure and she had shown signs of being a whore, but i never told her, just told her that I didn't like her anymore because it was the laat straw that she couldn't even figure out why, we lasted a year, that was months ago, she called me 3 days ago expecting us to be friends and that she could tell me about how shitty her new boyfriend (not even her boyfriend but she still fucked him) is, then we just started fighting and I told her everything about how disgusting she was (mind you, not even 3 months after breaking up she fucked 3 people and made out with several strangers) but then we supposedly made up and we tried to be friendly, now we fought again today and she asks me why it hurt me so much and why I care if I don't like her (I really don't, she's disgusting) but I'm too autistic to stop hating her so i feel like we HAVE to make up and I can't do it without her collaborating too. I told her that and she said she'll call me later. She just kept making fun of me, she's infuriating, she changed so much, she talks like a fucking normie roastie, I hate her, but every single day it gets me more bitter so we have to make up, sorry for the blog post and the grammar mistakes I'm kinda out of it right now, I've also maybe posted about her before

>>39358037
It's fine man. You already explained to her what the issues were and she refused to see it in herself. Trying to change people will just end up changing yourself instead. It's better to let her move on so you can too, otherwise she'll end up dragging you down with her.

>>39358108
I think she's already moved on too much for my liking, I don't know how I can possibly move on when no fucking girl likes me, I can't stop thinking about how those people were my replacement and they were fucking worthless, I feel so alone and what little (internet) friends I have never take me seriously, I've kinda felt so devoyd of feelings other than sadness and anger, I can't seem to enjoy anything and don't know what to do

>>39358108
also thanks for asking and reading sorry for the whole messy emotional normie girl tier stuff, I'm really not like this normally but somehow this has taken a gigantic toll on me

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>have female friend, if you could call that
>calls me her only "best guy friend"
>known each other for a while, since middle school, and every so often, she would text me
>never been known much of talker, don't have anything interesting to say
>usually leave single sentece responses though I try my best to have a decent conversation
>during the time we've know each other, I've had dreams about her, usually involving romatic scenes
>I really like her
>thing is, I know that it'll never work out
>boring shithead with no interesting personality and nothing riveting to say in an actual conversation
>we have different interests, she likes books, puzzles, classic rock, being organized, into effeminate things, educationally very smart (being top honors back in middle and high school)
>I play vidya, watch anime, read manga and comics, listen to vidya OSTs, metal, and other genres she doesn't listen to, internet junkie, this website, do well educationally, but it's nothing compared to her, etc
The thing is, I don't know why I love her. She doesn't interest me, but at the same time, she does, know what I'm saying? Another thing is, contrary to the things I've listed, which may sound like she has romantic interest in me, she doesn't show that, from my perspective and experince with her. In fact, about a few months ago, she wanted me to be her "psychiatrist", playfully I should add, when it came to relationships, which I bullshitted my way through with "deep" and "meaningful" advice.
I don't know what do, man. I'm very conflicted. I'm not gay though.
To also add, she looks like picture related.

> keep getting vivid images in my mind of people around me and having conversations/arguments with them
> worried I might be going crazy

>>39358207
>>39358226
Don't worry about it.
She'll probably leave a hole in your chest and who knows how long it will take to close, if ever. She obviously never respected you or thought about you the way you did her; thinking about it will just loop you around in on yourself, over and over constantly chasing your own tail. You would do well to try and move on because I can guarantee that she was never with you to begin with. Especially if she was completely oblivious to your feelings, even if you made them apparent. She was someone that didn't respect or love you. Dragging your feet through the mud like that will get you nothing but dirty.
Can't really tell you how to do it, just know that I care to see you well again. Please move on, you don't deserve to feel replaced or worthless. She made you into those, not you.

>>39358328
Cut off all contact with her now. The longer you stay with her the more it hurts at the end.

Smoking (not bud), drawing a bit, I work nights so on my days off I stay up in the bathroom alone.
>>39357818
Congrats on being 16, wait till the psychosis sets in.

>>39357539
I tried to hit the hay like at 12 1 am like normies suggested but what's the point if I had to force myself to sleep. At 4 am however I have that sweet feeling of tiredness to fall asleep on my own. No matter when I wake up I always hold out till around 4 am. How do you cope with that?

>>39358465
I don't know because I'm the same way. It's easy for me to stay up, really hard for me to go to bed. Unless I'm already passing out in my chair, I can't fall asleep, and even then it's still hard for me to fall asleep. My mind just gets crazy active the minute it touches a pillow.

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>>39358407
Your post made cry a little man, thank you so much, not even my mom has told me she cared, thank you again
>pic related, taking off the noose

>>39358496
You're welcome anon. Everyone needs a shoulder but not everyone has one. I'm sure you'll pull through because you have already seen past all of her bullshit. You just let her trip you up a little, that's all. And when you stumble, don't forget to catch yourself. That's the most important thing because sometimes the only shoulder around is your own. I wish I was omnipresent to help everyone, but I'm not. The best I can do is give you the tools and perspective to help yourself. So you really should be thanking yourself; you're the one who grabbed my hand when I extended it to help you up. Don't let anyone ever make you feel that way again. No one has the right to tell you how you should feel. You got this anon.

Alright I need some sleep, its almost 5am.

>>39358430
The thing is, she's not a stacy at all. Those relationships, which is really one (I shouldn't have made it sound like it involved more than one), I spoke about never came to fruition.
I forgot how the conversation came up, but she recently told me that when ever she forged friendships or relationships with anyone, she managed to "screw it up" and say something that would lead them to "abandon her".
I don't hate her, but I have trouble in why she would want to keep in contact with me after all these years.

I can really relate to that pick, I wake up at 1pm everday, its fucking incredible