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Decided to make this thread to whom it may concern I used to

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Thread replies: 94
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Decided to make this thread to whom it may concern
I used to be pretty much a robot, I have lurked 4chan since I was an angsty teenager. Bad social anxiety, social isolation, people around me must have wondered why I never talked to anybody. Time flies and last year my life at age 23 my life turned around. For almost 10 years I have wasted and filled my life with self pity and depression.
Now that my mental health is better than I could have ever imagined at that time, I feel like I could be able to help or atleast give some advice to some of you living my previous struggle. Depression, psychiatric ward, I've seen it.
Ask me anything.
>inb4 inb4 'just bee yourself :^)"

pic related
>>
I have a good job, good grades, a good house, and at least a few friends, why do I still feel empty and miserable?
Is it because I'm addicted to being sad or is it because I'm doomed to a life of being a pathetic loser?
>>
>>39332656

What do you think is the most significant thing that made a change in your life.
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>>39332656
whats the best way to refrain from putting a 9 mil in your head despite wasting all your youth with seemingly depleted human capital
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>>39332656
i've used psilocybin too and I'm still a basket case
what's your point
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>>39332682
First of all, the positive things you listed are never a guarantee for happiness. Don't expect yourself to be happy just because you have the things that are considered things that makes a man happy. To think so is to think that life owes you something but that's a big load of shit. life doesn't owe you shit and you don't owe life anything, you are in fact free. free to be happy and free to be sad.
Secondly, when you ask yourself why you feel miserable you already gave 2 answers. both of them aren't helping because they are full of self pity. the question is why did you assume those two answers?
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>>39332656
Do you still suffer from social anxiety at all or would you consider yourself cured?
Do you have irl friends now?
Did you ever receive therapy or go on medications?
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>>39332799
because I'm genuinely a huge fucking piece of shit and I hate myself and want to die every day.
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>>39332701

MDMA helped me experience overwhelming love for me and the people around me for the first time ever since I was a child. Since then I have been more to new experiences and people, because I remembered that the thing in which I didn't believed any more did in fact exist. It gave a new perspective and encouraged me.
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>>39332833
That's me during my depression. It paralyses you and anything positive will feel like a lie. It is not. After losing faith in yourself and other people, it feels naive to try to regain trust and faith again, because we feel betrayed. its a natural reaction. You need to try to have faith again, even if it is against your own experience of who you think you are and who others are. And by faith I mean exactly that, no doubts based on your own reasoning mind.
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>>39332869

So do you think being more open minded can make positive change in life ?
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>>39332809
I still can't believe it but my social anxiety has completely vanished. I remember shaking from anxiety paying for groceries, and now I have no problem with dancing freely without thinking what others might think of me. I quit my anti psychotics a bit more than half a year ago. In my opinion therapy wasn't helpful at all.
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>>39332656
I've done a decent amount of drugs.
All of my revelations pretty much revealed to me a few things

1.death is nothing to fear
2.We are all socially dependent creatures and we are all part of the universe
3. You are completely insignificant on pretty much any scale
4. Life is simultaneously infinitely more complicated and infinitely more simple than our human minds can think about
5. You existing as a human being means that you can not help from causing harm to another living thing or person at all times until you die
4. drugs are fucking amazing and its fucking sad you can't be this happy all the time

I've had severe suicidal depression since I was 13. I am now 26. I don't fear death but I fear dying and my cynism and nihilism is through the roof.

Is there any reason for me to not put a bullet in my brain?
The only thing stopping me is the fact I am a pussy and dying will hurt before the eternal void.
I almost went through completely with it on my birthday this year.
Almost......Well better luck next year I guess
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>>39332833
Yyyyeah you sound like the kind of person who should snarf down some shrooms. It'll do you good mate
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>>39332993
not OP but no unless your simple minded. Having an open mind just leaves your mind open to more possibilities. more possibilities lead to more anxiety. more anxiety etc etc etc
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>>39333060
I have done every drug you can think of. Shrooms included.
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>>39333060
shrooms don't fix your brain m8t

they are really fun though
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>>39333087
>Having an open mind just leaves your mind open to more possibilities. more possibilities lead to more anxiety. more anxiety etc etc etc
lol that is not how it works at all, anon. Anxiety is caused by preoccupation with a specific possibility, and preoccupying oneself with a specific possibility is not what an open minded person does.
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>>39332993
Being open minded is the hardest thing to become when your "closed" mind tells you that living with more consciousness is just a load of "feel good" bullshit, and that people who are engaged with it are deceiving themselves into thinking the world is actually a good place to be while it is a nightmare. Yes. it makes a huge positive change. it is a challenge.
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>>39333039
Hearing that gives me some hope for my future. you're the first person that I've heard say therapy didn't help though. so how did you get over your anxiety?
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>>39333106
Well damn. I dunno, I guess find someone to love. The eternal quest of /r9k/ right
>>39333108
Not everyone's, but for some people it really does. It was worth a shot
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>>39333127

This is exactly how I feel.

Is like making my mind believe that everything is okay and everything is love.

While in truth the whole world is just shit.
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>>39333135
Heh, I don't mean to counter you at every argument I really don't, but I just got out of a year long relationship where my partner extensively cheated on me.
I'm just not in a very good place mentally right now.
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>>39333162
Shit, well depending on how recent "just" is, that might be why you're feeling bad, of course. Maybe do shrooms again.
>>
>>39333044

Oneness, love and faith are all interconnected in the most unimaginable beautiful way. I hope for you to experience it one day bro
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>>39333173
Shrooms are so hard to find in this state imo.
"just' as in, a month ago desu
I usually eat tabs but recently I've taken a shine to cocaine.
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>>39333118
You've never had a panic attack becuase you were worried about a million different things going wrong all at the same time?

That shits pretty terrifying
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>>39333131

See this post >>39332869

I've always felt at my psychiatrist like a mental patient, who should somehow change the way I perceive the world in order to fit into the "normal world", while I felt the harsh reality of depression as more real. I was too stubborn for therapy. maybe it will work out for you, but for me magic pill was literally a magic pill. If you can get out of that godforsaken place by talking to a psychiatry or something that is much better, but you won't not the only one where therapy fails.
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>>39333220
I have experienced it bro thats literally part of the reason I wrote that post.

Its just that being ignorant to the immense complexity and overbearingness of the world doesn't suddenly make everything ok.

Also flowery wording is bullshit. I've met a lot of dead heads and bluegrass wookies who talk exacty like this while dealing with the most crippling drug addictions and alcohol abuse I've ever seen in my life.

Life is awesome when your brain is fried constantly and you live like a wandering trustifarian
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>>39333357

I think we are both talking about the same thing but the difference is that now you've come down from the trip you are confronting your previous reality. in this confrontation you surrender to your previous state of mind. I'm asking you, why do you think this is?
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>>39333108
I don't see psychedelics as entertainment... way too powerful
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>>39332656
take nootropics

cerebrolysin
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>>39333509
I am not surrendering to me previous state. I just stopped being high as fuck so I know a lot of those thoughts were derived from the drugs and not reality. Its the same way that if you trip enough you can tell when intense hallucinations are part of the mind and not reality except if you do an insane amount (thumb dab or a sheet which I am never going to do)

Those thoughts exist in that head space and now that you come down from the high you realize that you need to face reality.

Reality is not pretty. Flowery fractals are.
Some people confuse the two and become forever lost in "being woke AF"
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>>39333667
I see them as a learning expierence but theyre also really fun. I try to always see the comical side of things while I am tripping even if things get scary. but yes sometimes shit gets too intense
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>>39333687
what makes do you dumb down what you have experienced during your trips trying to conform it to "reality"? Why do you close yourself from the opportunity of integrating your interpretation of your trip into your reality?
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>>39333704
agreed, how do you deal with your trips when they get too intense?
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>>39333811
You have to approach a trip with your strengths. Mine are humor and empathy so when things become too intense I try to find humor in whats happening or redirect my focus onto others.

Its literally all happening in your brain. Everything about a trip comes down to your own psychology. Look at yourself and see your psychological strengths and use them next time you trip.

Also just general "you bought the ticket and now you ride the ride" mindset. I try to distance myself from whats happening and see it as a movie rather than as something thats happening directly to me.

does that make sense?

>>39333790
once again your twisting my words to make them fit your point. At first you said I was surrendering to a previous state and now your saying that I am dumbing myself down by coming back to reality. Your beginning to show your wookie hood my friend.

>Why do you close yourself from the opportunity of integrating your interpretation of your trip into your reality?

are you trolling m8t?

When you trip your mind is seeing the world through abstract concepts. Seriously try to explain some of the most emotional parts of your trip to another person and that quickly becomes clear. You cannot properly put a trip into words because you are trying to put something abstract into regular terminology and wording.

In the same way you cannot apply the abstract experience of tripping to your own life with being ignorant of the bigger picture. tripping makes things seem infinitely complicated and infinitely simple. Neither of those thoughts will fucking help you make it in day to day life unless you literally have no more brain cells to work with.
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>>39333790
>he thinks the machine elves are actually real aliens from another dimension
spoiler, they're yourselves, retard. this is some pretty basic sacred astral wisdom everyone figures out when they're like 7. trips aren't "real"
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>>39334172
lol the amount of times I've had wooks talk to me about the machine elves it never sounds particularly impressive
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>>39334026
sorry if I sounded like I'm trying to force my views on you, but one thing I've learned was that terminology and wording are fundamentally hallow, and true meaning is indeed abstract and unable to convey with words.Why doesn't it allow you to see the the bigger picture you are talking about? What is this bigger picture you are talking about? Your day to day routines and interactions?
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>>39333044

>3. You are completely insignificant on pretty much any scale
Did/do you have any revelations on what IS significant on any scale?
>>
I've been stick with this in my mind a lot recently. I tripped on LSD last month and in my trip every step I took it would take me to a part of my life, any kind of head movement would change the setting I'm in. I'd see different places I would call home, all the cities I've been, classrooms, etc. I could hear a group of people talking as if they were surprised and trying to achieve something. I'd hear a voice telling me no and yes for every moment I did as if I was playing Marco Polo in my life. Eventually if I moved through something right I could see a man telling me that I'm coming out of it and to come closer, but I would end up doing something wrong and I would no longer see him. I came so close to what seemed a room with equipment and technology, but I messed up and he told me to come back that I was close. It was as if I was coming out of a simulation or something I was stuck in that they were helping me come out of. Is life a simulation? Are there people actually trying to get me out of some sort of psychological coma or what the hell is life.
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>>39334172
I've never smoked dmt, but entities could very well indeed be archetypes of our subconscious mind. but what makes your reality "real"? What if psychedelics makes you see reality in a more unfiltered way?
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>>39334203

>terminology and wording are fundamentally hallow

No they aren't. If your the level 12 wook I think you might be then you should know some Terrence Mckenna and Alex Jones in their butchered and misquoted words "language is the very structure on which we build our reality and the reality of the universe"

despite the flowery wording, its got a lot of truth to it

>true meaning is indeed abstract

No its not. Your acting like a Wook who is equating the "tripping realm" with reality and "Reality" with a lie. This is an incredibly dangerous path to fall down and become a Wook forever lost in the infinite K-hole

>Why doesn't it allow you to see the the bigger picture you are talking about
I do see a bigger picture but I only have so much space in my monkey brain. I can't keep all this abstract shit in my mind on a daily basis when I have more immediate and important shit to worry about. Its like you tripped and God came to you incarnate and told you he/she existed. Awesome right? Well now you have to go back to regular reality and deal with petty human shit. Was that expierence awesome? yes it was. Does it change the mortal plan you are forced to live on and endure? FUCK NO!
(sigh)
dude I am getting tired of repeating myself.

just look at this picture and think about what I said it pretty much sums it up
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>>39334319
Lol let me assure you anon, there is no getting through that tunnel, people don't pop out of existence while tripping, you were just on some good acid.

That said, there is probably some symbolic significance of your experience in terms of your subconscious beliefs and perceptions about yourself, which only you can interpret fully.

>>39334336
>What if psychedelics makes you see reality in a more unfiltered way?
What do you mean. By drawing more connections to less related things and seeing shit melt and wiggle that isn't there? It is only a difference in degree from our normal sober perceptions, not fundamentally different, I would say.
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>>39334319
are you planning on taking more? Your trip sounds unlike any trip i've had on mushrooms, was it positive or negative?
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>>39334336
that is some elementary school tripping bullshit.

all you have to live by is your phantogram but for fucks sake don't start spewing machine elf nonsense like that

also DMT is fucking awesome. you should try it. good luck finding it outside of a burn or festival though
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>>39334278
nothing is significant on any scale. Your just one of a millions pixels across a television screen. Your insignificance comes about because the time span of the universe is so huge that it makes significance on many scales rubbish. Not many things exist long enough to push anything in a significant direction.

Our sun exploding will literally have more significance to the universe than our entire human history and even then it doesn't mean much of anything. More like a changing of the guard then anything. the cycle continues etc etc etc bullshit
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>>39332656
Hey OP I have pretty much the same story except it was LSD and I was 19. So glad I did it. I actually only took it because I was in such a shitty place that I figured if I got nbombed and died I wouldn't have lost anything. The 8ish years before that were just a gradual downward spiral. Within like 3 months of my first trip (I did 4 all together) my life had turned around to the point where I'm pretty much a normie.
To any anon out there who may be considering using this, don't expect to have the same results. Everyone trips differently but psychedelics have been proven to be capable of improving your mental health (they can also drastically worsen it if you're not careful). Just be safe, test your stuff if you can, and read up on your drug of choice so you know what to do if something bad happens.
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>>39334427
the hell is a phantogram
extracting DMT is pretty easy and safe and can be done with legal materials, anons! google it for yourselves and happy elfing

>>39334458
Butterfly effect my nigga. Everything is infinitely important.
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>>39334424
My dealer moved out of state and I lost contact with them. I wish I could, but finding someone who isn't trying to rip me off on tabs for 30$ is too common where I live. The trip started postivie, I began seeing the typical patterns in my room. My vision began becoming distorted and music seemed to speed up but slow down and the euphoria I had was intense. Eventually I started writing down in a journal and I actually ended up writing a bunch of gibberish throughout every single page. I kept repeating the numbers 1 and 2 over and I drew eyes that would actually blink back at me and look around. Eventually that feeling of what seemed like I was on a never ending roller coaster overwhelmed me and I layed down. Started watching those psychedelic pattern videos and i got hooked to them for a good hour looking like a dumbass with my eyes and mouth wide open to the screen. Eventually I remember just falling into a dark void and that's when I couldn't see my room anymore. I couldn't remember my name and I didn't even feel like a person, but rather part of the void and all its patterns, but eventually I came back to my body but still couldn't remember who I was. Everytime I'd see a location or part of my life I couldn't remember what significance it had to me (until the next day I started recollecting my trip) and then that's when that began. Eventually I became so scared and that's when the trip turned bad because it seemed that I was lost in random parts of my life. I was actually about to try and kill myself with a knife so that hopefully I could go back to reality ( now that I think about it it's fucking terrifying ) until I realized who my girlfriend was and I wrote down her name, but I would forget her name and who she was as if I had Alzheimer's. I began crying out the name to make sense of it but I was being sucked and teleported to different places I've never been in. Until I remember hearing Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd
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>>39334319
This sounds quite unlike the acid trips I've had. did you test it out before hand?

Also, it sounds like you had a "light at the end of the tunnel moment" as I like to call it when you on the edge of an epiphany but aren't able to go over the edge. Don't bum yourself out about it. I can garuntee you any answer that would have been revealed to you would have been abstract and cryptic or nonsense that you were so high that it made sense

makes sense?
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>>39334541
Yes, thank you for your clarification. I didn't test it out because I was just craving a trip. The only precaution I took was if it tasted like anything when I placed it in my mouth, fortunately it did not and I ended up taking 3 tabs that night
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>>39334541
not that anon but how the hell can you tell what does and doesn't sound like your acid based on the headspace as conveyed through 4chan post? the only real clues are taste and body high, past that, any kind of trip description is fair game, IME.
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>>39334515
Begone Wookie

Your phantogram is your essence and all you have to go on with everything around you. If you dismiss it then you are going to be forever lost

>butterfly effect
get the fuck out of here. that shits not real nor based on anything other than poetry repeated in drum circles

inb4 get woke
>>
how do you make friends when you're starting from nothing? no past friends, no jobs, no hobbies.
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>>39334575
I was arguing alongside you against the wookie earlier. You've betrayed me anon.

Butterfly effect is 100% real dummy. Small changes in the initial states of simulations of almost any kind, definitely including particle interactions on a physical scale, cascade into enormous differences over time. I don't know how you can go through life not acknowledging it as common sense or as poetry circle bullshit, it's basic logic and supported entirely by MATH bitch
>>
>>39334393
I don't think I will be able to convince you, but there is this thing called faith. the faith that what you experienced at that moment was true and beautiful, and that we can implement the understandings of those moments in our daily lives by living consciously. reality is not a lie, but even when you are not tripping you can have a distorted perception of reality. It's always good to concentrate on the moment, seeing reality as it is without daily "petty distractions". And to be honest, without this faith I would agree with you.
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>>39334573
I dunno, the way he was wording it sounded off. I really don't know how to explain it but yeah.

Also It sounded incredibly visual heavy and disorienting

acid's not really disorienting in my expierence instead its more focusing

Also acid tends to be more of a head trip with unjarring hallucinations until you take a really significant amount then shit gets crazy
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>>39334585
I don't know anon. Where do you live, lets do some shrooms
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>>39334585
do drugs

immediate kinship but everyone is a mess

on second thought don't listen to this advice. Its bad advice
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>>39334575
>get the fuck out of here. that shits not real nor based on anything other than poetry repeated in drum circles
Hey look what I found
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly_effect
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>>39334624
I mean you don't have to believe my trip report honestly. In the end I had that trip and it's whatever you want to do with that information
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>>39334661
it's not about your honesty, it's about what if there was DOM or 2c-b-fly or something in your drugs instead of LSD
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>>39334612
yeah sorry about that. I understand the butterfly effect and I see it but I still think it becomes muddled static at somepoint

Usually when I hear people talk about the butterfly effect it usually involves people talking about prayer or crystal energies or some shit like that.

So sorry I snapped, the term has just been used by a lot of people until it has no real meaning

(Internet hug?)
>>
What the fuck is a wookie, other than my boy Chewbacca of course
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>>39334585
I feel like I can give you some really bland bullshit advice but to better answer your answer your question I must know how you ended up in that situation and whether you have difficulties dealing with social interactions
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>>39334647
>do drugs alone in my room
>no one walks up to me immediately kin
What now?
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>>39333039
>quit my anti-psychotics

I solved the mystery you're bipolar and manic off your meds.
>>
>>39334747
not him but I was put on antipsychotics with only a diagnosis for social anxiety. Psychiatrists are fucking kikes who will throw whatever pills they can at you
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>>39334618
maybe becuase I understand the fragile state of reality is why I don't have faith. Having faith leads you to dull your mind and freak out when things don't meet your expectations or what you want reality to be.

I see faith more as forcing your will on reality and then crossing your fingers and hoping it won't backstab you later.

I tend to prefer a zen state of mind over faith. I prefer to take things how they are rather then how I want them to be. Faith is a rocky road, I instead like to flow like bruce lee said "be like water" or some pretentious shit like that.

I like to think its probably different paths up the same rocky bullshit mountain of life.
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>>39334730
What if you're in college and have no interest in anything, be it a career or hobbies, precluding one or two clubs filled with people you literally cannot relate to because you're in a university in a state filled with people best described as, excuse the overused term, normies, and have no trouble socializing when you need to but see no need to, and go everywhere to classes, stores, etc and immediately go back to your room when you're done? and no one ever approaches you in public and you never approach anyone because there's no one you particularly want to approach but then you just end up alone at the end of the day.
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>>39334655
see>>39334704


OC DONUT STEEL
>>
>>39334704
>I still think it becomes muddled static at somepoint
yeah it's like yin and yang. Your impact on the universe is one tiny pixel of the static, but you also show up as a tiny pixel making up a part of the static of the impact on everything that exists. And if you weren't there, every bitmap of pixels would still be staticky as fuck, but in a completely different way. It's like a huge sliding wooden puzzle where everything fits together perfectly. Pretty trippy and completely true, despite the abstract terms.
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>>39334776

I believe you are confusing faith with religion. religion is rigid, a construction, faith more of an emotion.

>>39334780

I know this feeling of alienation all too well. A big step to take is to realise that you don't have to have anything in common with a stranger in order to socialize with them. not being interested to meet new people may be because you are disappointed with the people of your past. try to stop comparing strangers with the people of your previous life, see them as they are, complete strangers. It's a hard step to take especially when you are insecure and suffer from social anxiety
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>>39334832
have you ever seen the the Game of Life simulation? Thats what I feel like when people talk about the butterfly effect and scaling. Its some really spooky shit and I feel like its a lot like our life

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgOcEZinQ2I
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>>39334937
no I am not confusing it with religion because faith inherently needs to be rigid. If you are not 100% rigidly secure in a feeling of faith then its not faith. If faith=emotion then faith is inherently terrible because emotion is neither clearly nor stable, both of which you need for faith
>>
>>39334780
Dood I hate to break this to you

but you might be a robot

welcome to the club my compadre!

but in all seriousness I feel you. Your preaching to the quire. I feel like your experiencing melancholy. I am guessing it doesn't feel too terrible but rather that things are grey and uninteresting?

Just remember college is not the world. It will be over soon and you can move on. All the movies about college are pop trash lies, pretty much 90% of colleges are boring normie riddled suburban hell hole daycare centers for adults
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>>39334938
I tend to think about the simpsons episode with the actual butterfly effect. the simpsons is also really spooky in some ways and a lot like real life in others
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>>39335026
thats what happens when a show has existed for a long as an actual person.

Oh shit maybe the simpsons has been on the air so long that its become self-aware

(takes another bong rip)
>>
>>39335020
Myeah. What should I do to occupy my time? I feel like becoming a mad scientist is the best option, but I don't know how to do that. Maybe I can sell lemonade spiked with acid to students walking around the main plaza, and free wheel itt outta here. ANd make sure nobody see's me!!
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>>39334976
I never said faith equals emotion, but faith to me is something I experience, not just something I hang onto with my will.In a sense that it can, like a wave, or like you said in a previous post, like in a flow overwhelm you. I have faith because I experience it, and because I experience it I have faith. Delusional? who knows? but without this sense of faith and trust I would be emotionally and psychically dead, living a nightmare. A nightmare where suicide sounds like a good option. that is why I attach more importance to my faith than onto life itself.
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>>39335059
for serious don't dose people without their consent. that shits fucked up

Why do you say you can't find any hobbies. You really should just try a million little things until something clicks.

There must be something you do for fun and enjoyment or have thought about doing?

You said mad scientist. Do you like building things or being creative?

All this being said, college will absorb every ounce of energy from your soul depending on your work load just like a shitty 9to5
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>>39335131
you said in your last post "faith more of an emotion"

definition of faith:
"complete trust or confidence in someone or something."

You don't sound completely trusting of your faith to me. You sound like you just have a strong abstract feeling or emotion that your wrongly defining as faith. Faith has unwavering definition and finality. That does not sound like what you are describing

Iam curious anon, have you gone through the 12 steps program because your beginning to sound like my suicidal brother

Anyway, you might want to figure out a new definition for what you feel. Meditate on it or something to find a new word, chitchat with your peneal gland etc etc

>I would be emotionally and psychically dead
Already their anon. What it sounds like to me is you crave religion and an absolute about the world and how you feel IMO.

Iam too much of a disgusting cynic/nihilist to be able to go back to that way of thinking. But maybe one day something will come to help pacify me. who knows
>>
>>39335311
If faith is not the right word, I'm afraid I don't have another word for it. Maybe I can describe it as a flowing interaction between my emotions, reality as we perceive it, and a blessing that often brings tears to my eyes especially remembering the awful depression I used to be in. It feels like a bright light that shines through everything, but was previously blocked out by clouds of depression caused by trauma.

I know that cynicism. but at one point my despair was so great that I actually desperately wanted to believe in something just to feel no pain. It never worked. you can't make yourself believe something anon. In order to let that flow of conciousness lead my way I had to make friends with myself and learn to love myself.
>>
OP here, checking out. Thanks for the interesting conversations. Keep holding on. There is light and love and it is not an illusion. Please take my word for it. If you want to find it you have to face yourself in it's fullest.
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>>39332656
OP I'm an alcoholic. I take a lot of medication and it's ruining my health. I had to go to the hospital recently because of it. I'd been moderating my drinking after that, but in the last week I've been binging again.

I don't want to stop drinking completely, I just want to have the self-control to enjoy myself without getting drunk every night.

If it matters at all, I have had horrific mental health problems for my entire life (bipolar type 1, OCD, severe sexual perversion), alcoholism runs in my family and I'm turning 26 next week.
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>>39335822
>>39335759
>didn't read the thread before posting and missed OP by just a few minutes
>>
>>39335822
OP here still monitoring on and off.

although i know what it is like to get drunk night after night your case sounds pretty serious. I'm afraid you will need to seek professional help. Especially with a history of mental illness it is extremely difficult to do this by yourself. don't be afraid to ask for help. talk about your problem with someone you absolutely trust. getting your problem off your chest is the first step to truly getting in action and fight your sickness. please take these steps, even though if you are depressed because you are in a bad cycle that needs to be broken, and the fact that you are in it means you can't just get out of it. face that. don't blame yourself. best whishes
>>
>>39336182
I'm really worried about getting any kind of professional help, but I have talked with my girlfriend about things in the past and she's said she'll help me if I ever need it. Maybe she'll give me the support to see someone who could help. thanks for the advice man, I really appreciate it.
>>
Once a robot always a robot, we are born that way. It sucks that you feel you are no longer as good as us but the truth is you were never a robot in the first place. Being a little emo faggot doesn't make you a robot.
>>
>>39336353
pssst
anon
taking pride in having problems like you're dong is being a little emo faggot
trying to help other people is not
>>
>>39332869
Where is it good to take MDMA?
As far as I know I don't have access to anything else than just taking it by myself. I can get the stuff from the internet and I think I'm going to buy a little bit but I don't know if I should just do it by myself or not.
>>
>>39336573
The MDMA experience is really one that you want to share with others. The love you will feel is so strong that you will want to share it with others. taking it with some friends with good music is I would recommend.
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