introduce yourself

>>39321372
>they will pull this shit on monday
They will not. It's not fucking high school.

>Hi my name is anon
>Mention the year I'm in
>Mention my hobbies except the autistic ones
>Everyone claps

It's not hard at all

>>39321401
They do in college too

>>39321372
well one option is to somehow contact your professor and let them know you're uncomfortable with introducing yourself. It probably won't work and sounds silly
Or just bullshit your way through it
>hi im anon
>im in year x
>i have these interests (normies hobbies but not too obvious that you're lying)
And then you're done

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>>39321372
>tfw I'm taking online classes first semester

>>39321401
Yes they will. I have to take dumb general education classes and they have done it before.

>>39321406
I have no hobbies that aren't autistic. I don't know what to say.

>>39321372
Just do it pussy. If you ever want to get a job you are going to have to speak in front of others at some point. Get comfortable with it now. The whole point of uni is to get you ready and adjusted for the working world which requires good communication.

>>39321372
>grab your shit
>walk out
>come back after faggotry is over

I'm anon, I'm in year _____, I like computers

Never speak again for the rest of the year

>>39321426
>I my name is anon, I love [insert fake hobbies]

Not so hard, you brainlet.

>>39321426
just say you like watching movies or listening to music or some shit

>>39321426
What about writing, reading, gaming (is pretty normie at this point) simple exercises like walking? You don't even have to tell the truth

>>39321426
>I have no hobbies that aren't autistic. I don't know what to say.
Just say you like watching movies and playing sports.

>>39321460
>>39321462
>>39321478
What if they ask a follow up question? They have done that shit before.
>say you like movies
>"What's your favorite movie, anon?"
>i have no idea what to say since i dont watch movies

>>39321509
If this is an ice breaker introduction type of deal, there aren't going to be followups. There are gonna be so many people in this class that they wont have time for that shit.
And if they for some fucking reason do decide to ask a followup, just say whatever flavor of the month shit just came out. Like the new Capeshit/Marvel movie or Dunkirk or some netflix drama.

>>39321509
Prepare for it beforehand.
Write down a list with all the normie hobbies you're going to pretend you enjoy. Write down predictable questions such as "what's your favorite genre?" and answer every single one. Do research so it's not obvious you're lying. Practice aloud. Once the day you comes they might not ask you anything of that sort but at least you'll be prepared.

>>39321426
Say something like, I like movies
>what's your favorite movie?
>star wars
If you look like you can run at least 50 meters without collapsing say something like, I like playing soccer or I like to run
>cool anon what position?
>keeper or defense

One day being the edgelord that I was, junior year in highschool as an introduction for a few of my classes I recited the entire american psycho monologue.

Spent the prior two nights memorizing it; only one of the classes I tried to recite the whole thing in let me finish.

>>39321565
honestly this
i always prepared for ice breaker shit in high school because i knew i was a fucking sperg with no real interests or passions, so i had to just make stuff up

You could just say something like, "And I've never broken a bone," or, "And I like X band" or "And my favorite kind of ice cream is strawberry" or some mundane shit like that. It's not a challenging question, and they're not looking for some amazing Chad-fact about yourself.

>>39321579
I can picture you like one of those people who do mlp presentations in high school

>>39321372
YO sup niggas my name anon and I smoke crack ca cane.
If you dont hit that pipe I aint fucking wit you.

>>39321975
im not black

orgeno

>>39321579
post the quote or GTFO anon.
pls tho

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>go to small uni
>forced orientation
>they say they will suspend you if you don't go
>have to go to "playfair" basically forced interaction in the form of "fun" games
>upperclassmen constantly asking me things like "having fun?"
>say "haha yeah" to try to not sound autistic and end the conversation
>constant introduction stuff like "where are you from, what made you want to come here, and say one fun fact about yourself!"
>school speakers keep on saying, "you need to be involved because our school makes leaders :^)"

kill me

>>39323592
damn desu that sounds terrible. i feel sorry for you

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>throat closes up when I get nervous
>starting a large class and I'm in the far back
>its taking forever to get to me and the anxiety is just getting higher and higher
>sweat literally dripping off my face, hands and arms
>start trying to clear my throat but its too late
>finally get called on
>go to state my name, nothing comes out I just squeek
>"I can't hear you, could you please talk a little louder" professor says
>try again, nothing about a louder squeak comes out of my mouth
>face is beet red in embarrassment at this point
>grad my neck and point to it
>"are you okay? Why don't you take a drink from the water fountain?"
>get up and walk towards the door
>entire class of like 60 people looking at me like "wtf?"
>back of my shirt literally drenched in sweat like I sat on a water puddle
>make it outside the class room, realize I cannot go back in
>leave, don't even go back to get my binder and notebook

And that was my first and last day of college

I had to do this shit for a driver's ed class. I was chosen first to do it because I sat it the front and it completely caught me off guard.

>>39324115
what are you doing now, anon? i dont think im going to make it through college.

>hi my name's anon and I really don't wanna be here right now
works every time, except when it doesn't and everyone hates me for being a downer and/or autistic

>>39324369
First year of staying in a dorm we had a floor meeting and we were doing these dumb introductions.

>my name's anon and I hate icebreakers

Everyone was silent and the person directing it said something like "well you will be doing a lot of them. learn to enjoy them anon." I should have killed myself then.