Professional Picture History and & Analysis

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this sounds fun, oc pic, tell me what you see

>>39304327
The phantom time hypothesis theorizes that history was rewritten by the Holy Roman Emperor Otto III. Today, it is believed that homo sapiens have only existed for 200,000 years. The fact of the matter is, humanity has gone through many cycles of collapse and recreation. Many worlds ago, where the Rio Grande river now runs, a bridge traversed the water between two great cities. The impoverished lived to the west; a city that was once prosperous but fell into corruption, violence, and famine. Their numbers dwindled, and violence threatened the inhabitants as they all fought to feed their own families. By contrast, the East was one of the wealthiest cities in the Earth's overall lifetime. Houses crafted from gold with crystal-lined detailing. The East was home to the time's CEOs, government representatives, artists, scientists, entrepreneurs...

The West looked longingly at the East, desiring not wealth but just to be able to eat. Not gold, but just enough to save their children. The bridge laid barren for years; the East paid them no notice at all, the West citizens were simply an eyesore. The East could never approach the bridge, for they would surely die.

On a particularly cold winter night, the West struggled with tattered blankets to cover their frail bodies against the cruel chill carried in the wind. Snow piled on decaying roofs until they finally gave way and collapsed. The West simply could not take another night like this. The tension thickened in the winter wasteland. Each Western man cast their eyes to the East, and knew what they had to do.

There was no organization. There were no leaders. Their weapons were simply nailed plywood from broken homes and furniture, and they knew this was the night of their lives. This single moment would make or break their entire way of life.
(1/2)

>>39304725
(2/2)
The East enjoyed their typical evenings. They had grand parties, drinking wine near their fireplaces in beautifully decorated mansions. They laughed and chatted away, hardly hearing the nearing thunderous roar. It grew exponentially louder, until it became almost deafening. Chandeliers of diamonds clang like wind chimes as the entire buildings shook. Behind the roar were the screams; frail and hoarse, the angry voices were like they had never imagined. Windows shattered, doors broke from their hinges as men in tattered robes stormed the rooms, tackling the Eastern natives. Their furniture shaped in crude crucifixes, their dicks hard with excited, some already foaming. In shock, the rich could do little but scream. The bureaucrats having never even considered the concept of conflict, they were left with torn anal cavities and crucifixes jammed in their eye sockets.

The spreading of Christianity in the Old World's mexico was like that of a disease. It laid dormant for years; building, growing, while appearing as if it was helpless and nearing death. When the parasites neared death, they struck, destroying the flourishing societies of the East and establishing their own, fragile governments. City to city, nation to nation, the disease claimed lives, leaving nothing but destruction behind it.

And that's the story of The Bridge of Eldin.

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Lets see you overanalyze this. Its just a man enjoying a nice sip of water

>>39305201
From the moment I first held him, I knew my little boy was special. His eyes always had this beautiful glow to them; a childhood innocence that never quite left him. I loved every moment with my little Jeff. I loved the purr he gave when I breast fed him, I loved pushing him on the swing. I loved our walks in the park with his hand wrapped around my pinky finger, waddling a few steps behind. I loved the passionate sex and his frail, limp body thumping against mine. I simply love my Little. I just wish it was better reciprocated. See, Jeff shows me so much love, I feel more loved than I think I ever could. But I'll just never be enough for my Little Jeffy.

I've tried everything, but I'll just never be enough. I blocked USA on the Tivo, and he threw a tantrum until I turned it back on. I pretended the cable went out, and he ripped his diaper off, put normal clothes on and drove to Spectrum to sign up. Excuse my language, but what kind of asshole breaks character just to watch WWE? I eventually just gave up. Whatever, I let him watch it, you know? He obsessed over it at first, and when I didn't think it could get any worse, I started catching him with his hand down his diaper on his no-no whenever I left the room. I tried the previous steps, whether it be cable malfunctions, channel blocking, whatever. I just gave in again, and he still kept touching his no-no. This picture is one of the worst times I found him. He was passionate about all wrestlers, but this bald headed guy seems to be his favorite. I feel threatened; I hear Jeff saying wrestlers names during sex and in his sleep. I just don't know what to do anymore. Do I leave him? Who can I even tell about this? Most people aren't even okay with our relationship, what counselor will even acknowledge the real problem; WWE? I can only imagine how bad the next John Cena pay-per-view is gonna be... Yahoo, what do I do?

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Alright, I'll bite.

Explain this picture to me.

>>39305790
The power of BBC being seen at a Star Trek convention

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I'm intrigued. Write a novel for me.

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Entertaining, original too

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>>39305303
The Flat Earth Society is well known among popular media for their anti-global beliefs, and the concept of a surrounding ice barrier. Many flat earthers believe that beyond the ice barrier exists many more continents; possibly an infinitely extending Earth. One of these continents, of course, is Sherbet Land. Sherbet Land is home of many penguin-like species, including the interesting creature we see in this picture. This specimen is a pengoid human; like the reptilian jews in popular conspiracies, this species can exist in both a human and penguin form, while never completely losing either qualities. Mike pence is also one of these pengoids from beyond the Antarctic ( >pic). This particular creature seems to be undercover, but is still wearing his penguin suit, and his penguin qualities can be seen in the bird-like eyes, the arctic-bird's hairline. And one can't help but notice the large drink in his hands, keeping cold as his homeland is naturally much colder.

What does this all mean? Why does this matter? Well, here you see clear evidence of things beyond our understanding. Proof the earth, is in fact, flat. What implications does that have? God is real. You must repent your sins and give yourself to your LORD. Accept the gift of FORGIVENESS from your SAVIOR Jesus!! Please, your time is short!

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more material

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alright Op give it to me

>>39305790
Brittney Spears has been having a Hard Time lately. My name is Billy, but people call me Little Bill. I act as Brittney's caretaker, and out of the kindness of your heart I beg, can you please just leave her alone?

Not only do I care for the american icon; I'm madly in love with her. I keep her on a leash for her protection as well as my own reassurance. See, Brittney is flawless. I love her hexagram tights, they way her mohawk accents her antennae. She's flawless. Why she fell for little ol' me I'll never know, but wowie! I really love that girl. This picture is just one of many the unaccepting paparazzi take of us every day.The idea of Brittney Spears loving a guy like me just isn't something the world is ready for. Our love is beyond your reason and understanding. Just accept us, or leave us the fuck alone.

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>>39305868
Hi, I'm the new student teacher at the Jefferson County High School in Louisville, Kentucky. After my first week, I began teaching my class by myself,and the experience has been less than pleasant. I work in the biology lab, and students have been saying unkind things about me. I hear them pretend to cough and sneeze and say mean, cruel words underneath, snickering before and after. Every day I pick up scraps of paper everyday with antisemitic drawings and phrases. There have been several poop swastikas on the underside of desks, or carved into the seats. And how did this start? Rhinophyma.I've lived with Rhinophyma my whole life. My family was always supportive in my battle with insecurity and the disease itself. I just recently had surgery >pic but these students don't understand. I'm not a jew! I just have a big nose.

I'm tired of discarded pennies all over the floor. Of course I'll pick them up; they're messy and if I pick up 73 of them I can get a Polar Pop from Circle K. That doesn't make me jewish. Why are high school students so unforgiving? I feel as if I'm in 10th grade again. And it only got worse when Trump got in office. It's because of this I'm writing this negative Google Review. This school is god awful, and I'll be posting this same, unpopular opinion on the Facebook Page. Please, cease and desist this racist behavior.

>>39305961
"Alright, so we've increased penis size by 67% with this fruit, but what will we do now? What's the next big step for our company?" The CEO of Body-Enhancement CO leaned onto the boardroom table, challenging each of the employees with his darting eyes. "We could.. Grow male testicles by 37% using gourds," one shouted out. "Good, but not good enough! Who else?" "We could make an organic spray that permanently makes the penal shaft taste like fruit a partner would like, maybe strawberries?" "Not feeling that one, what else do we got?" Jerry sat in his chair, appearing attentive but still being very aloof, lost in thought. His penis was a full 67% bigger; he paid only 75% because of his employee discount. But what else could he improve? The room was dismissed, the CEO taking time to turn ideas over in his head. It was on his way home that Jerry had his idea. It was brilliant, fresh, original; it was the next big thing. Just as quickly as the idea hit him, a car smashed into the passenger's side of his car. Everything went black.

When Jerry came to, he was tied with rope to a metal bedframe, wrists and ankles bound but with enough slack to allow him to sit up. He groggily scanned the room, wiping dried blood from his eyes with his bare shoulder. He jumped as the metal door at the opposite side of the room slammed open. A short but slim japanese man dressed in black stood in the doorway. Dark shades nearly opaque prevented Jerry even the slightest hint of the jap's eyes. "You have something we want, Jerry. Give it to us, and we won't hurt your family." A projection lit up the adjacent wall; a livestream of Jerry's living room. The family was watching Wheel of Fortune together. "You can't hurt them! Please!" "Then I believe we have a trade to make, Jerry." "I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking abo--" A shot rang out. The projection flashed white. (1/2)

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Oc here

Ibwill use your reply as copypasta on vevo songs for years to come

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What if this is just someone testing out a NovelBot who will soon replace writers

(2/2) When smoke cleared from the view, his youngest daughter Susie was the only figure remaining on the couch, the rest of the family had ran. Rather, Susie wasn't just on one couch, or two. She wasn't just on an armchair too; Susie was on all of them, and the walls, and on the floor. Her internal organs were dripping slowly from the charred cushions and soaking into the rug. Jerry sobbed, "Why did this have to happen, what do you want from me?" The jap smacked Jerry across the face. Another bang rang out. The jap's eyes shot open wider than a jap's eyes ever should. He collapsed to the ground. White, well-built men in tuxedos with pistols ran threw the doorway. One man swiftly cut Jerry's ropes, and lifted his limp naked form over his shoulder. They climbed into an unmarked black SUV and headed back to his work.

Within an hour, Jerry sat face to face with the CEO in his office. He learned that the Japanese had the boardroom bugged, and followed Jerry home. They saw the enlightened expression as he drove, and seized the opportunity. So now Jerry sat, back at work, staring blankly at the wall. "I know you have been through a lot, Jerry, and I can't imagine what you're going through. But we can't let it go to waste... What was your idea?"

"I was just gonna say we could increase the size by 69% instead of 67."

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Pumping them out as fast as I can. The script my novelbot is using has a memory leak issue, but I'm sure this experiment will help me troubleshoot this. Thanks guys. >>39305994
When we watched the Black Folk get swept up by the White Man, we all squawked with delight. The Black Folk always tried eating us in those days; it was a different time, There was a period of peace and prosperity among us parrots, free to fly wherever without fearing a Black would try to eat us. When the Black Folk numbers dwindled, ours increased. But everything changed when the White Man came for us.

Generations passed and our kind looked for some sort of relief, to no avail. We were mocked the way we squawked at the Black Folk; endless rhetorical questions about crackers and the like. We now know why the caged Black sings. We're trapped like Blacks in a shed, a source of entertainment, flying a few feet above our own Poop. If there is a god, he will have to beg for our forgiveness.

--This is a narrative written by a parrot of the late 19th century. PETA has uncovered this cry for help and hope this poor, innocent creature didn't die in vain. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) is the largest animal rights organization in the world, with more than 6.5 million members and supporters. Please, find it in your hearts to help these poor birds. For just pennies a day, you can help free these beautiful animals. Donate in the next five minutes, and you'll receive this free limited-edition PETA t-shirt. Please, call now.

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pls notice me and also pop diva whitney houston pls

>>39304146
>>39304725
>>39304957
>>39305668
>>39305978
>>39306113
>>39306337
>>39306789
>>39307273
Lay off the stims for a while, kid.

>>39308076
Stop telling me how to live my life mom.
>>39306743
It was a simple but brilliant idea. I pulled up to the motel office, rolling down my window to hand the night shift employee's the usual fee for the hour. I pulled away; they left me with my own key to keep to save time. I was a regular customer who tipped generously. I pulled up to room 136b, parked, and showed my guest into the familiar, musty room. I threw our bags on the second bed and sat her down on mine. Are you sure you want to do this? I asked, not wanting her to get too deep into something she wasn't prepared for. She nodded solemnly. I reached to my pants and withdrew. I grabbed her hand and lead her where she needed to go. I pushed the piece of metal into the wall, and locked it into place. Twisted it. Liquid oozed out of the seldom-used shaft, first slow but now free-flowing. she put her mouth under the orifice. She let goo fill her mouth, she puffed up her cheeks to take it all. It dripped down her chin as she struggled to swallow all the thick goop. She then gave up, and stripped her clothes off. Her breasts sucked into her chest as her naked body slunk to the drunken floor, the faucet still pouring behind her. I sighed; another junkie getting her fix. The idea of installing the tank in the shower wall was brilliant, but endless people lost their souls in that motel shower. Sighing,again, I reached into her jean pocket and withdrew the benjamins. I turned the faucet, withdrew the key, left her a quick note, and drove off. I went back, though; I forgot to feed the cats. I went back in, opened a slot in the shower, fed the cats and left again. Cheesing is a life-destroying book, but it's natural, so I guess I can't be too concerned.

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The phrase "salvation in progress" is really interesting to me

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>>39308961
The emoji movie is really interesting to me but I don't feel like torrenting it.

Kachow! Jesus McQueen zoomed a left turn on the track. The cars go wild, the BW Bug girls' breath swept from their lungs with a loving sigh. Judas is right on Jesus McQueen's tail, with Lucifer pulling in at the rear. Only three laps remaining.

Jesus McQueen looks to his disciple Judas and says, "Judas, you are my one child who understood me best. What I need you to do is sell me out to those jew cars in the back."
"But Jesus McQueen, you're the Lord Almighty's only Son! You are the one perfect Man to walk this Earth! Why must I sell you out to the jews in the back?"

"Judas, salvation is in progress. You are all sons and daughters of the lord; I am the same besides the fact I have the best paint job and I'm rad as fuck. Nothing personal kid." It was then Judas knew what he had to do; he had to stop lucifer from coming through; he had to sell Jesus McQueen out to all the jews. Jesus McQueen lost the piston cup for me and you.

Many inconsistencies exist in the bible. Today's bible forgets to mention that there was no cross; it was simply the piston cup, taken by the jews. Jesus didn't die; jesus mcqueen just lost the race. They were all cars, and Jesus McQueen made the ultimate sacrifice.

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You're doing God's work here, OP. Write me something about this map.

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>>39310290
Pangaea is an accepted geological hypothesis that once all of our present contents were once a single super continent; a massive landmass accounting for most or all of earth's continental plates. The shape of Pangaea cannot be completely known, but I propose the continents once united in the shape of present-day Australia. Allow me to explain:

Have you ever seen the film, "Honey I shrunk the kids?" The land on earth was once exactly identical to that of present-day australia. Pic related; when australia was magnified to today's continents, some trees scaled up with the rest of the world, still present today. Present day Australia is actually the Garden of Eden; a rebirthing of the continents that formed today's world. But this is all besides the real issue at hand. The summary? Australia was once all we had.

The image aforementioned is a lost artifact from the Old World. Discovered directly next to the Dead Sea Scrolls, the churches did not want such a map to resurface and challenge their authority. Today, it has been made accessible. When God created languages at the tower of Babylon (located at the nuclear wasteland), each nation grew furious with their lack of understanding of each other. Eventually, they communicated enough to decide to abandon the project, and while the groups went their separate ways, the project wasn't quite over yet. First, the emus secretively started working on the tower by night, still hoping to reach the heavens. The Chinese seized the opportunity to expand their land further into East Emu territory. Meanwhile, the unorganized Zimbabweans saw the emus working at night, and began taking out the passing birds. As more birds were sent as reinforcement from the West, the Islamic State of Qarratha separated from the Emu union, as they felt they were discriminated against for being humans. They also received intel that forming their own nation would help them find their 72 virgins. (cont.)

>>39310916
>>39310916
The Emu military forces were spread thin, and they were forced to halt their work on the Tower. The Democratic People's Republic of Western Australia (DPRWA) pushed north into West Emu territory, claiming territory. The Emu were being attacked on most fronts, and the other nations, notably the Paraburdoo Empire, the Free Australian State, and the Commonwealth of Australia began to worry about the violence. The nations met privately, forming the League of Nations. Amidst the conflict, the Fourth Holy Neo-Roman Empire (FHNRE) were examining the coveted tower, in an effort to create their own private tower. However, the Paraburdoo fear and nationalism lead them to lock down their borders completely, and being FHNRE's main trade-partner, left them without the needed resources. Economic instability set in as a result of a decrease in trade. The League of Nations had their most important meeting; the Manhattan Project. The organization decided that the fastest way to cease the war was to use nuclear weapons to destroy the tower. However, the LON knew nuclear weapons were merely science fiction, and made plans to place detonators throughout the "Nuclear Wasteland" zone, fooling the rest of Australia the area was uninhabitable. The tower crumbled, and the dust settled both literally and metaphorically. Tensions were still on the rise. Raids were launched and the LON covered up the continuing fighting to prevent hysteria throughout the world. But the Emu were clever. Using hired Zimbabwean mercenaries, the Emu launched an attack that seemed to originate from the Aboriginal Republic against the Commonwealth. The Commonwealth being the superior nation launched a massive attack, claiming half of the Republic's land. The Aboriginal Republic, completely unready and unaware of the attacks until it was too late, erupted into a revolution that made the Reign of Terror look like a Jonas Brothers concert. (Cont.)

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How about this gal OP?

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ITT: OP is an amazing bitch.

Do this one next!

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let's see if op can describe this lol

>>39311139
Meanwhile, the recent addition to the Commonwealth was ill-protected, and fighting continued not just between the Republic and the Commonwealth, but also revolutionists and invading Emu. The land corrupted into an anarchy that never ended until the Magnification Event. The LON met again in response to the CSA scouting missions against the Republic of Y, Centralist Central Australia (CCA), and a growing alliance with the Emu. A demiltarized zone was created to separate the two major antagonizing nations. When the panic in Paraburdoo settled, the FHNRE was able to resume their tower plans. Unrelatedly, a fork of the Aboriginal Revolution migrated to seldom used territory north of the CCA. They settled in the mountains, and the seldom-aggressive CCA complied. From here, the Aborginal Tribes could see the growing Neo-Roman Tower. The tribes recognized the instability this may cause, and launched an attack that managed to claim the land the tower was being developed on. They occupied this land until the Magnification Event. Down south, the Kingdom of Cockburn sat close to the equator, making it a particularly dry desert. Many Cockburnians in an effort to survive pushed north into the Democratic People's Republic of Western Australia. They separated a piece of the Democracy peacefully, forming the sustainable City-State of North Perth. thousands of kilometers away, a small collection of islands once existed as Atlantis, but infighting separated them into independent nations.Their distance from continental Australia proved wise, as they were able to live in only slightly-tense peace offshore. This would provide a strong economy for these nations to grow after the Magnification Event.

>>39305847
>implying that thing is black

>>39311332
And of course, far north, we have the Darwinist North Australian Federation. The Darwinlings were chaotic and aloof, worrying only of their own progression as the wars raged on. They were the first to realize the falsity that is nuclear weapons, and planned to make a more advanced technology. The Darwinlings realized the tower was just obsolete; heaven was just too far away. They instead created a portal instantly into the realm of God, but instead found purgatory. The nation began spending most of their time in this alternate reality, searching for a trace of the Lord. Their persistence in this world would leave them at a severe disadvantage, as you will see. Iceland accepted many Darwinlings who refused the notion of a god, and their focused and combined intelligence created the modern world. The Magnification event began as the weapon intended to expand exclusively Iceland. Agents from the Commonwealth were sent on behalf of the LON, however, and the weapon was sabotaged, leading to the eventual magnification of the entire continent. And as the beam magnified the whole world, parts of the world fell off the edges of the earth, as its flat; not a globe. God then said, "let there be ice," containing the remaining land in an ice barrier. Unfortunately, the gravity pulled the land apart, but somehow the Islamic State of Qarratha did not completely fall off the map, so to speak, and we still have to deal with muslims today.

>>39311470
Holy shit, you've really planned this out
Nice job

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Tell me, what do your eyes see?

>>39311551
No planning, I just wrote as I looked at the image. If I could prewrite and form real story structure I'd write more than shitposts.