need advice

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how do i move on from my ex. we broke up 3 years ago, and his now gf banished me from his life. He recently reached out to me saying a simple hi and we had a friendly conversation. That night i get messages from his gf telling me he doesnt want me in his life anymore, he doesnt care about me..etc. Shes made him block me on everything. For instance, the night he messaged me, later he told me something along the lines of.. "i have to block u again, sorry." I just dont understand. He also messaged me to make up with her so that me and him could be friends. I got drunk for my first time one day and she had messaged me. I said some dumb shit in reply to the questions she was asking, and i fully regret it. so i understand where she is coming from. But the thing that i cant let go is that she told me that i caused his depression, or i made it worse for him. from someone knowing what that feels like, an living with it, knowing that possibly i could make someone feel like that, makes my heart so heavy. For him because im so sorry and hope hes ok, and for myself because i shouldnt be allowed to live for that. i guess i need to realize that shes right, and that i really am a horrible person. sorry this is all over the place and that i cant explain it better, its all a big blur inside my head.