I have Borderline PD, AMA

>>39277020
Probably because you don't live in a sex dungeon.

>>39277139
That is probably exactly right

>>39277020
Happy birthday op. Isn't bpd great? I have it too.

>>39277209
Thanks anon c: Oh boy it is sooooo fun. I love randomly stopping everything I'm doing to split and cry and then lash out at all my friends. I wish I could just stay happy, my FP is unintentionally fucking with my mind so I can't stop changing my views on everything. I don't blame her though, she doesn't mean to do it and she doesn't even know she's my FP yet. I wish I could stop overreacting to everything she does

>>39277020
Happy birthday, crazy one.

>>39277353
:3 Hehe you have no idea how crazy I really am

>>39277550
Whew, MrGuy#8498. I like friends

>>39277550
i might have bpd so if possible me too, i'd like to know stuff that happens to you as bpd

not looking for 'friends' thought

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>>39277020
>Why do I always have to get so depressed in the evenings

Same. I'm happy/confident in the morning/early afternoon and then generally it goes downhill. Generally just feeling empty and depressed even when I shouldn't be. If those are your only symptoms though I doubt you have PD, because I'm like you and afaik I don't have PD.

>>39277020
i also get depressed in the evenings
dunno why

>>39277020
>In 40 minutes it will be the end of my birthday.
What timezone is that?

>>39277618
Oh no that's definitely not the only symptoms. I just dread night time because it's always the time my emotions go out of whack. There's a lot more to my disorder than just some night time depression.

>>39277645
I link the night time to loneliness and emptiness, my two biggest enemies. My biggest fear is abandonment and being alone

>>39277662
Australian Eastern Standard Time (AEST) as of 9 minutes ago it is no longer my birthday yay

>>39277692
Australia is the most normie country I can imagine. It must be rough being bdp there.

>>39277692
I'm sorry for you then. I too get really sad during the evenings, but nothing personality-chaging

>>39277706
Oh my lord you don't even know the half of it. I'm so blessed to have even found someone like me here. It's terrible everyone acts the same and it makes me so sad not fitting in but also not wanting to fit in

>>39277727
I tend to turn into an entirely different person and have thoughts that don't make sense to me the next day. Only way to break me out of it is have the FP comfort me in someway, her attention and presence makes me so happy

>>39277781
>have thoughts that don't make sense to me the next day
I can relate with that. Many times I wake up and tell to myself "How the fuck could I think that?" and then revert it back to the evening.

>FP
what's that?

>>39277020
because you haven't tried dxm yet.

>>39277781
Are they bpd too or just hate normie culture?

>>39277020
Happy late birthday OP, my gf is bpd too and I know how she can get. I hope things swing back in the other direction for you soon!

>>39277840
FP is the BPD's favourite person. It's the person we cling onto, idolize and can't seem to let go off no matter what. Everything they do affects us in some way. Usually she makes me happy but one little thing that isn't positive that she says can reduce me to tears.

>>39277864
Shush I'm paranoid and I don't see the need to chug cough syrup. I need a supervisor and I don't even know if I want to do that stuff.

>>39277871
She is indeed BPD and the fact that we share so many symptoms mean we have so much in common and it's built up such a strong connection

>>39277876
Thanks anon, that means a lot to me

>>39277971
Thanks for answering anon. Cya, and happy birthday.

>>39278012
You have a lovely day anon

>>39277971
cough syrup is indeed shit, i recommend gel caps. you could start with a low dose of 2-3 caps and see if you like it, don't need a supervisor for that. it helped me get rid of brainfog and racing thoughts.

>>39277971
But don't you two fight a lot since your moods aren't in sync?

>>39278123
The crazy thing is, no, that doesn't happen. We both understand each other to a higher degree than anyone else. We can't really hate each other because we both understand what we both going through, so there is only nice things between us unless I split one day and think that everything is just a lie. That happened once but she convinced me out of it because she understands those feelings too. She's such a lovely person to me

>>39278072
I think I'll stay away from drugs for now

so, what happens if you get a bpd gf and are understanding of her problem? would you be able to help sort things out while you are still their favourite person(tm) and make them feel better?

or does everything just crumble away and they go have sex with 20 guys after cutting later

I think I have both this and aspergers. Nobody really knows or cares though, my alcoholism overshadows everything and everyone just seems to focus on that, I am seeing doctors but they do the same thing. All they want to know is if I'm gonna try to kill myself that day. It's not like I can actually say I want to.

>>39278283
What country are you in?
Wpw

>>39278298
US, NJ

>>39278313
Damn, if you're paying for it they should atleast throw you some pills.

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>>39277020
Sorry to hear anon. Do you need a hug or any comfort at all? We're always here for you if you need us. Out of curiosity how do you grasp your mood swings? Can you write them off as brain chemistry sometimes or is it much the case of being too tired/ worn out to physically prevent yourself from acting impulsively? On another tangent does the shame resulting from your actions build and affect your behavior/ judgement later on, resulting in a terrible issue of negative feedback? What do you do to pass the time?

>>39278216
I'm hoping that if she became my gf we could just help each other out and just make each other feel like everything will always be ok. I'm certainly worried that she might ditch me for someone else, but she's so similar to me I'm doubting that it would happen

>>39278373
I sometimes have self control. It depends on the mood swings. I can get in a destructive or angry mood, but I realize that it's just my mood swings and that I need to calm down before I do something stupid. I try to learn from my negative experiences and so from each bad experience I gain more self awareness and self control. It's unfortunate that bad things have to happen for me to be able to grasp more control over the disorder. To pass the time I just play vidya, desperately hoping that the FP with come and play vidya with me.

>>39278358
I have bupropion, but it doesn't do much for me at all. I'm not asking for pills, I don't want to take anything with side effects, I really would be ok if I just had money. Being poor is 90% of where my dissatisfaction with life comes from, I can't work anywhere I can't get to and I can't get anywhere without a car, I gave my car to my mom who barely makes enough for us to get by. She sold her car recently due to a MAJOR life mistake on her part and we are probably going to be paying for it for a very long time. Most people have SOME friends that will help them out in a situation like this, but that applies to neither of us. Our own family won't help. I feel like if we died, people would be relieved to not have to consider us anymore.

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>>39278442
I don't know if its much though have you ever tried reading? You can get tons of books on PDF's with not charge, they can help pass the time and create some degree of positive feedback even if it may not have any particular use. What sort of films/ television do you like and what interests you? Do you attempt to maintain a comfy lifestyle and if so what sort of things do you do? Is there any niche trivia on any subject you know of that might be interesting to us?

>>39278687
I used to like reading but I lost interest in such things. I prefer to do something more mentally stimulating so that it can distract my mind from the shitstorm of feeling and emotions. I find myself mainly interested in anime these days, though I used to love comedies, preferably English ones. I try to maintain a comfy lifestyle but mother always tries to fuck it up thinking she's doing good for me when really she's making things worse. I tend to spend my days at home playing vidya and talking to online friends and that's about it. I'm certainly not an interesting person, unless you are interested in the human mind or computers/vidya

>>39278800
Really? I'm guessing your mother is the type to encourage you to get out and try to meet people and stuff, which I suppose misunderstands the problem entirely. What sort of anime do you like and what would you recommend? I've been forcing myself into trying more and have finished Cowboy Bebop a couple of days ago, now four episodes into Gurren Lagann (really surprised that Yoko isn't the frivolous whore that I was expecting her to be, she's actually quite lovely). What do you find "mentally stimulating"? Do you study a subject, code or anything of the sort? I find it quite interesting that you used to love comedies, I'd always imagine them to be a downer given how overly cheery and optimistic they usually are in contrast to the real world.

>>39278949
Mother is the type to believe that she knows it all. She is also unstable but not as unstable as I am, however she believes that she knows every little thing that happens in my mind. She invalidates me when I say my anxiety is too much to leave the house, and she ends up screaming at me for "faking" a panic attack so that I didn't have to get out of bed, despite the fact that I don't fake panic attacks. For anime, my favourites are Future Diary and Neon Genesis Evangelion, both mainly because they explore themes of BPD. Future Diary's Yuno seems to be borderline from my own understanding, as she is as obsessive as I am for my FP. The main character in Evangelion struggles with abandonment issues which destroy his self worth, as does my abandonment issues. I find vidya, shows and coding mentally stimulating I suppose, I consider anything that can keep my mind off my disorder mentally stimulating. I'm pretty new to coding though, I only know html, css and some javascript. I guess comedies are a form of escapism, it'd be nice to live in a world more bizarre yet happier than my own

>>39279066
I need to try those anime. Really hyped to watch Neon Genesis Evangelion though I don't believe I'm ready for it; want to read a lot of the sacred texts and philosophical works so I can appreciate it in full. Will definitely watch Future Diary though I'll admit to having spoiled virtually everything that happens. Its honestly quite impressive that you can code even if its to a basic level, keep it up anon! Sorry to hear about your mother though alas I suppose nothing can be done, you know best.

>>39279175
Neon Genesis is a masterpiece, the only reason it isn't my number one favourite is because I feel a personal connection to Future Diary. If you watch the whole anime I'd recommend you skip the last two episodes and watch End of Evangelion instead, End of Eva was made as a better ending to the anime

How did you get diagnosed with bpd and how old were you when you first started noticing symptoms?

>>39277020
>end of my birthday.
>Things were happy before but now my mood has randomly switched to emptiness, loneliness and misery.
Aswarda. Party ghosts.

Sounds too depressing for me

>>39279220
I'll likely watch the original series then End of Evangelion afterwords. Again I know virtually all of the main spoilers though still there's a lot I expect to perplex me. Have you watched Serial Experiments Lain and if so what did you think of it?

>>39279276
I went and saw a psych and got diagnosed after months of painful sessions that really weren't going very far. I began noticing symptoms during my teen years however I look back now and I had symptoms when I was even just 9 years old. Back then I had an FP and I wouldn't let anyone else be friends him just in case he would leave me for someone else

>>39279488
Yea, it's pretty depressing

>>39279587
I have not seen that series nope

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It's late friends. I'm gunna have to go to sleep now, I'm too tired to go on. Any other BPD anons feel free to step forward and take over the thread, I got some dreaming to do. See you guys around!

>>39279617
I'd certainly imagine that it'd be up your alley, certainly give the first episode a whirl if you're feeling like it. Sleep tight and enjoy you're night!

>>39279696
goodnight oppu