What's wrong with me?

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>>39269202
Probably social anxiety, anon. and no, as far as I know you dont have to be born with it. I'm the same way, although I wasnt always like that either. Mine started in highschool and i've had it since. I got invited by a bunch of people I hung out with in highschool to hang out about a week ago. I ignored it becasue I shuddered at the thought of meeting some of their new friends they've probably met since then.

>Mom convinced me to see a therapist, I have an appointment on saturday and i'm freaking the fuck out. If it gets worse as time goes on maybe consider a therapist like me.

>>39269623
OP here

I've had this problem since middle school, it's just never led to such depression since I've been cushioned by friends I made when I was a kid. I've seen several therapists over the years about my social anxiety, but all they want to do is cognitive behavioral theory, which is basically building up a resistance to the terrifying feelings of meeting people, without figuring out the problem.

When I said I think something's wrong with me, I meant that I've been dealt the hand of an alpha (good personality, fairly attractive, fairly intelligent, only thing I'm lacking is exceptional athletic ability) but my social anxiety keeps me at the level of a beta.

>>39269792
You literally sound almost exactly like me, than. > (good personality, fairly attractive, fairly intelligent, only thing I'm lacking is exceptional athletic ability)
Normie/Alpha family, distant and instant (Only makes me feel more shitty for not being able to withhold family tradition.) I had a net of friends that I had since elementary but as time went on in HS they started hanging out with older kids and hit it off pretty well where I distantly cowered away from them. Friends slowly began becoming more distant until they pretty much stopped inviting me to hang out and didnt speak to me outside of school. Slowly after I began to start falling into more and more of a depression.
>tl;dr from my own personal experience i'd guess that from moving out of college you're lonely, miss your friends that you're comfortable being around and are too anxious to make new ones.

>>39269977
Well thanks for the sympathy through solidarity anon. I'm giving it 3 weeks before I start thinking about what to do next. I've never cut myself before but that sounds pretty interesting.

>>39270014
Anytime friend, but don't fall for the cut yourself meme. I did when I was 15. Felt like shit then, and after and now I have an ugly scar on my wrist (I was too much of a pussy to cut myself too deep so it's not too visible after all this time. Maybe I didnt cut deep enough) I'd recommend walking around town while listening to some quiet music. Helps clear your mind and think about shit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJCLnFOfFKQ&t=375s